Both you and your partner need to feel safe enough in a relationship to show your vulnerable sides, but this can be hard for guys. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he has truly opened his heart to her and he’s ready to let her in.
You need vulnerability to have a healthy, lasting relationship because it develops trust and intimacy. People can be terrified of being vulnerable in front of their partner though, especially men.
They are scared to show their vulnerable side because they think their partner will leave them if they do. Keeping a safe distance instead is like their safety net that keeps their emotions in check.
Somehow, they believe that it’s shameful to reveal their true nature. Actually, many misconceptions make people scared of vulnerability.
So let’s break the stigma around it.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean that you’re in any way weak. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to open up like that.
What’s more, it requires a lot of strength. You need to be brave to be emotionally exposed in front of the person you love.
After all, you just need to look at a man’s actions to know whether or not he is serious about you and to what extent. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, you better know that she means a lot to him.
It’s not easy for him to admit that he’s only human. It’s tough to express his emotions or show any other signs of vulnerability.
We’re going to learn about all of them, but I want to tell you a little more about men and vulnerability first.
Most men are never that great with feelings, whether it’s expressing them, talking about them, or understanding them. So, when a man is vulnerable with a woman, he clearly cares about her enough to go the extra mile.
Most importantly, he feels safe to be himself around her and show her his true nature. After all, it’s the only way they could ever have a meaningful relationship.
Vulnerability is an essential part of every successful relationship – it’s the glue that keeps two people together. Clearly, to share a life, you have to share your feelings too.
You need to be your partner’s go-to person when things get tough. He needs to feel comfortable around you so that he can open himself up to you fully.
You can’t expect to have intimacy, trust, and love without vulnerability – it connects it all and creates your bond.
Maybe your man feels ashamed of being vulnerable and fears that he’s not good enough for you because of it. He’s afraid that he’s not smart enough, tough enough, or wealthy enough – meanwhile, he’s more than enough for you.
You need to help him realize that so that he doesn’t have anything to fear.
Men are also afraid of being fully transparent with their emotions because they think it somehow makes them look weak. He might even be afraid that you’ll laugh at him, so make sure to show him that you’re taking things seriously.
You need to reassure him that he can talk to you about anything that’s bothering him and you won’t think any less of him. Support him and let him know that it takes a lot of guts to truly show yourself and everything that you’ve been holding inside.
The truth is, we expect men to hold it all in, put on a tough guy act, and keep things under control. They are constantly pressured to live up to our huge expectations, so what if they would admit that they can’t?
We talk about the Prince Charming all the time, but what if he falls off his high horse? What if we see him as just a man, struggling with the same issues everyone else is?
Men aren’t stupid. They know how we react to vulnerability even though we say that it’s what we want. They know that we put the man we love on a pedestal, and they don’t want to become smaller in our eyes.
Your guy might be afraid that you’ll judge him if he admits he doesn’t have everything together. He knows you see him as your hero while he’s only human, and he doesn’t want you to fall out of love because of it.
What if he would tell you that he’s freaking out too because he doesn’t have it all figured out either? Maybe he doubts himself all the time and doesn’t think he’s good enough.
When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he needs her to understand how hard that is for him. He wants to be her hero, yet he has to admit that he’s human and it makes him feel disappointed, hurt, and ashamed.
The last thing he wants is for you to feel the same way. So, show him support when he opens up to you and talks about his feelings.
Respond with gratitude and respect, and encourage him to be unguarded with you. See him for who he is and love him for his true self.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys grew up in families where sharing feelings wasn’t an option. Many were simply raised to pretend that nothing can get to them.
You need to show your man that you don’t love him despite his imperfections; you love him because of them. They are what makes him who he is and without his little quarks and flaws, he wouldn’t be the man you fell for.
Don’t make him hide the fact that he’s not perfect. Celebrate it because it’s the reason you care about him in the first place.
After all, he’s only human, and none of us are perfect. Help him understand that he doesn’t need to pretend to be flawless, at least not around you.
Accept and share your own imperfections. It will be easier for you to accept that others aren’t perfect either – and easier for him to open up about his imperfections too.
Have you been carrying some prerequisites for worthiness within you, either consciously or subconsciously? Maybe you apply them to yourself and others because of your past without even knowing it.
Your parents might have taught you that being accepted or approved by others is a prerequisite for love. You’ll notice this in your responses to particular situations.
Maybe your man lets you know that he wants to present a risky idea to his boss and you just tell him that he’ll make the boss mad. Perhaps you even tell him that his boss would have asked for his opinion if he wanted to hear it.
People make comments like these every day, and they can wreck relationships. If you were encouraged to show vulnerability, you’ll instead tell your man that it takes courage to do that and that he should go for it. You’d let him know that you got his back whatever he decides and that you believe in him.
The conclusion from this example is that people who are encouraged to be vulnerable grow and accomplish more. They even help their loved ones strive to achieve their goals and better themselves.
This means that vulnerability is a good thing, and it should always be supported.
After all, being vulnerable also means saying the L-word first. It means risking getting your heart broken.
As you can see, there are a lot of risks involved with being vulnerable. It’s just one more reason why people fear it, but we shouldn’t.
Playing it safe won’t get you anywhere, it will just make you lose a lot of potentially great opportunities. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he’s putting his heart on the table, and he needs to be reassured that it’s the right choice.
If it instead has negative consequences, he’ll pull back and avoid being vulnerable around you in the future. Show him that he’s not risking it with you and that you want to know all sides of him.
Once being vulnerable becomes normal to the two of you, you’ll feel closer to each other than ever before. Your relationship will feel more important and meaningful.
When a man is vulnerable with a woman, the relationship matters a lot to him. If his openness is welcomed, he’ll care about the woman and the relationship even more. You’ll have a special bond that will be almost impossible to break.
Is your man ready for such closeness? Look for signs a man is vulnerable, and when you see them, show him that he has nothing to fear.
10 signs a man is being vulnerable with a woman
1. He wants to get to know her better
If he wants to have a deeper connection with you, he’ll be interested in learning all about you. He’ll want to know about your childhood and your hopes for the future, but not just that.
When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he wants to know how she feels. So, the man you love should show interest in your feelings too.
He’ll want you to know that you can count on him when you’re feeling down. His main goal will be to make you happy, so he’ll always try to cheer you up and help you.
To have a true emotional connection though, he’ll need to truly understand you. In order to do so, he’ll show interest in your personality, not just the superficial things that everyone already knows.
He’ll want you to tell him what you haven’t told anyone before and he’ll carefully listen. Only if you really know each other for who you truly are will you have a successful relationship.
A man doesn’t open up unless he feels very comfortable with the woman he’s with. If your man feels at ease with you, he’ll show it by welcoming you into his life.
He’ll let you know some personal details about him and invite you into his world. Maybe he’ll tell you about his past or introduce you to his family.
Most importantly, he’ll want you to get to know him better so that you can understand him. When two people feel safe enough to talk about personal things about themselves, their bond becomes stronger.
After all, you can’t truly love each other if you don’t know each other that well. Once he feels safe enough to be vulnerable, he’ll let you in on the secrets from his past and his hopes for the future.
3. He is himself around her
It takes courage to take off your mask and show your true nature to someone. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he’s ready to do that.
He’ll want you to love him for who he is, so he’ll feel free to be himself around you. Naturally, your relationship can’t work out if you’re pretending you’re someone you’re not.
You need to love each other for who you truly are, with all your little imperfections. When a man takes his mask off to show you he’s ready to stop pretending or hiding, he’s definitely serious about you.
He wants you to really know him and fall in love with his authentic self. By allowing himself to show his vulnerable side, he’s faced the fear of letting you see the real him.
He’s ready to give you his heart because you’re worth the risk. And as you already know, vulnerability rarely comes without risk.
A man who is ready to fight his fears and take risks for you is clearly a man in love with you. He’s not sure whether you’ll like the real him, but he’s ready to test it because you’re that important to him.
4. He asks for her help
A lot of men think that they have to act strong in front of women to win them over. And some women think that men aren’t strong if they’re willing to ask for help when they need it.
If your man asks for your help, he’s putting his ego aside for you and that’s big. He doesn’t think that he’s above you in any way and knows he doesn’t have to be the strong one in the relationship.
Also, he thinks of you as an equal and knows you’re a strong woman.
Even if he just asks you for advice on something minor, it’s a great sign. It shows that your opinions matter to him, he values your input and isn’t afraid to be open and exposed with you.
He doesn’t feel the need to act like he knows everything because he knows he doesn’t. He’s also aware that you’re just as smart as he is, if not more.
So, he’ll reach out to you to ask for your help with a problem he’s facing. Or he’ll ask for your advice regarding a decision he needs to make.
If he starts asking for your opinion on big life decisions or very important things, it’s a really good sign. He cares about you a lot but, most importantly, he respects you and wants you to be a part of his life for a long time.
5. He listens carefully when she talks
Clearly, a guy who’s all ears when you talk likes you, but it’s not just that. A man who listens intently when you talk desires a deeper connection with you.
He doesn’t let anything distract him during your conversation. Your man wants to really know you and discover what’s underneath the surface.
He genuinely cares enough to listen to what you have to say. He’ll ask you a lot of questions and wait for his turn to reveal something about himself.
So, you both end up being vulnerable and growing closer by discovering more about one another. This is how your bond will become stronger.
And your man will show you that he’s listened. You may have mentioned something that you’ve since forgotten, but he’ll remember it.
He’ll make a conscious effort to remember every detail you tell him and may even use them to surprise you later. He will expect that you listen to him the same way because he’s ready to be vulnerable too.
Don’t let your phone or anything else distract you while he’s being vulnerable. Trust me, he’ll appreciate it more than you know.
6. He is hesitant and nervous
As you already learned, vulnerability can be scary, especially to men. You will see that your man is afraid when he tries to open up to you and let you in on his inner world.
He might look all around the room or stare at the floor. Maybe he’ll play with his hands, his keys, or his hair.
If his nervous ticks are showing, he’s about to reveal something to you. Maybe he’ll run his finger through his hair because he’s about to confess his feelings for you.
The point is, you shouldn’t worry if your man starts acting hesitant or nervous. He’s probably terrified of opening up to you and he’s trying to calm himself down before inviting you into his world.
Being vulnerable with someone means sharing everything with them – your past, your flaws, your secrets. If your man has started really opening up to you about these, he’s showing his vulnerable side.
He tells you about some details from his past, both good and bad, or he shares some secrets with you. Whatever the case, it shows that he trusts you and feels comfortable in the relationship.
If what he shares with you is very personal, you can rest assured that you mean the world to him. He might even tell you something that he hasn’t told anyone before.
When that happens, keep his secret a secret and don’t tell anyone about it. If you betray his trust, he may never be vulnerable with you again and your relationship will suffer for it.
8. He lets her know what’s bothering him
A guy who can tell you what’s bothering him definitely wants to show you his vulnerable side. He doesn’t want to hide his feelings from you but wants to be real with you instead.
So, he lets you know when he’s annoyed, hurt, or upset. And, more importantly, he lets you know why.
Not a lot of men can communicate this way; they tend to bottle up their feelings. A guy who doesn’t hide the fact that something’s bothering him is a guy who’s let down his guard around you.
He doesn’t want to pretend in the relationship and that’s great because you’ll truly get to know him. You’ll become closer and build a stronger bond if you let each other know when you’re upset about something.
Also, fixing problems will be much easier and faster. You can’t fight when you don’t know what you’re fighting about.
When a man clearly explains what’s bothering him, he’s focused on finding the solution, not sweeping things under the rug.
9. He talks to her about his past relationships
When a man is vulnerable with a woman about his previous love life, it shows that he’s serious about her and wants to leave his past behind him.
I know you don’t want to hear a lot about your partner’s ex, but you do want to know about his past relationships. If he is willing to tell you how his love life looked before he met you, he wants to have a deeper connection.
It might even help you find out what the two you need to work on so that the mistakes from the past don’t repeat themselves.
Your man doesn’t bring up his ex-girlfriend to make you feel insecure or jealous, but to open up and be honest with you. So don’t take offense, but listen with an open and loving heart, and see his vulnerability for what it is.
10. He freely expresses his feelings
If he talks to you about his thoughts and feelings, lets you know he loves you, and isn’t afraid to cry when he’s hurting, you mean the world to him. It’s when he’s at his most vulnerable, so know that men need reassurance in a relationship too.
If he says he loves you and you feel the same way about him, don’t keep him waiting – say it back. Sometimes, a man expresses his emotions without saying a word, but if he’s ready to say it aloud, he truly cares for you.
If you’re not already in a relationship but he’s showing these signs, they’re signs he wants to make you his girlfriend. Encourage his vulnerability and you’re heading for a healthy, happy, relationship.
Good luck!
I read this article thinking:
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Guilty as charged! Everything written here applies to me in a budding relationship I have with a woman. We haven’t had the ‘Define The Relationship’ talk yet. Strangers comment on our obvious chemistry, “How long have you two been together?” I feel a significant relationship may be on the cards. Much love.