“He likes me but started dating someone else.”
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? You started off well with a guy, he told you that he likes you, and mere days after, you saw him with someone else.
The whole situation is confusing at least to say. A whole lot of questions rise to the surface but you’ve got no answer to any of them.
How could he be with someone else when he told me that he’s interested in me? Should I reach out to him to see what’s going on? Does this mean that the chance of trying our luck is completely over?
The more you keep thinking about him, the harder it feels to figure out what your next step should be. You like this guy and he told you that he likes you as well, but then he started dating someone else and you have no idea what to do right now.
Before I even try and guide you through possible steps you should and shouldn’t take, I guess that you first want to know why he decided to be with someone else in the first place if he has feelings for you.
There must be an underlying cause that explains why he took the complete opposite road of the one he was expected to.
Why he likes you but has started dating someone else
Love should be simple. You meet someone, there’s a mutual attraction, and so you decide to try your luck.
And in most cases, it looks nothing like this. This usually gets complicated from the moment you get to know each other and it only starts to worsen as time goes on.
That’s why you’re currently trying to figure out how a guy who’s told you he likes you could be dating someone else. It doesn’t make any sense and you’re not really sure why he’s doing this.
When you like someone, you do your best to get to know that person better. You don’t start going out with someone else. It simply doesn’t make any sense.
In this case, the worst thing is that you haven’t received any explanation. You simply stumbled upon him and saw him holding some other woman’s hand.
So, why does this even happen? Why does a guy who apparently likes you start dating someone else? How can he that easily forget the fact that a week ago, he told you he’s interested in you?
You’re about to find out the answers.
1. He’s playing games with you
One day, he tells you he likes you, and the next, you realize he’s already started dating someone else. The most probable reason is that he’s playing games with you.
To him, it’s all fun. After all, he’s not the one whose heart will get broken.
He probably thinks that it’s nothing serious since you haven’t been officially dating. Maybe you went out a few times and he then told you that he thinks you’re a great person.
But instead of working on your relationship, he made the stupid decision to date someone else. Why? Well, perhaps he wants to see how you’ll react.
Maybe he’s trying to see if you’ll be willing to chase after him. Maybe the only reason he’s dating this other woman is that he wants to feel wanted. And the fact that he can choose who to be with, feeds his ego and makes him feel that he’s a guy women are prepared to fight over.
But trust me, games won’t get him far.
At one point, you’ll give up on him and this other woman will also realize that he’s not the right man for her. That’s when he’ll be left all alone with no one running after him.
And that’s when he’ll realize that what goes around comes back around. You can’t play with someone else’s feelings without ending up hurt yourself.
That’s the lesson he’ll learn the hard way.
2. He thinks you’re out of his league
If he likes you but started dating someone else, maybe you should think about the way you treated him after he expressed his feelings for you.
You may have unconsciously done something that made him feel like you didn’t like him the same way he liked you. Maybe you didn’t give him a proper response, which then made him assume you’re out of his league.
Even though guys like to be seen as macho and tough, most of the time, they’re highly insecure when it comes to women.
They overthink every word they say and whether they’ve done anything that could push a woman away from them. They stress about how they look and talk when they’re around someone they like.
Honestly, since they’re petrified of rejection, they’ll do whatever they can to save themselves from it.
And sometimes, when a guy meets a woman he likes, he gets this impression that she’s in a whole other league. Especially if she doesn’t give him any signals that suggest she’s interested in him.
So, if a guy told you that he likes you and you didn’t give him an appropriate reaction, he may decide to pull away. He concluded that you’re unattainable and you’d never be with him.
So, to save himself from heartbreak, he’ll simply move on to the next girl – one he knows won’t reject him. But if this is the only reason he’s dating her, then that relationship won’t last long.
If you eventually realize you’ve made a mistake – that you want him to make a move but haven’t given him a sign that you like him – then that could be why you’re not together now. And maybe you still have time to fix that.
3. He’s not ready to commit
A guy may tell you he likes you, but as soon as you show him that you feel the same way about him, he may start casually dating someone else since he’s afraid of commitment.
When he tells you that he’s interested in you, he doesn’t see it as something serious. It’s not a part of his plan to become involved in a committed relationship right away.
But once you share your feelings with him, the whole story between the two of you takes another level. At this point, going out with you would intentionally lead to something else, something bigger. And maybe he’s not ready to do that right away.
If he’s afraid of commitment, he’ll immediately start thinking about what he could tell you once you express your concerns about wanting to make the relationship official. Since he’s not willing to take that step, he wants to make sure to save himself from ending up in that situation.
That’s exactly why he’s started dating someone else after telling you he likes you. He wants to make sure you won’t get your hopes when he can’t give you exactly what you want.
4. You’re his backup plan
“He told me he likes me but he started dating someone else. Am I just his backup until something better comes along?”
Unfortunately, that may be true. I know that the harsh truth stings, but you need to face reality.
He may have told you that he likes you because he was testing you. He wanted to see how you’d react and when your eyes lit up, he realized that you were the perfect girl to keep on the side.
When a guy sees that a woman likes him more than he likes her, he may take advantage of that fact by securing his place in her life. With a few simple words, he sweeps her off her feet and makes sure she thinks about him constantly.
In the meantime, he goes out with other girls, has fun with them, and then, when he gets bored (or when every one of them leaves him), he goes back to the girl who he knows is waiting for him.
If you’ve figured out that your guy is actually trying to make you his backup plan, then you know what you should do. Don’t give him a chance to even think you’d be willing to accept this treatment.
If you can’t be his priority, then you won’t be his option. End of story.
5. He’s actually not interested in you
Honestly, one of the most plausible reasons he told you he likes you but is dating someone else is because he’s actually not interested in you romantically.
I know he made it clear that he cares about you and would want to get to know you better. But honestly, those were only sweet words he used to impress you. When his actions show the opposite, you should always believe them.
Maybe he just wanted to see your reaction. Or maybe he had no idea what else to say. The words slipped out of his mouth and he immediately realized he made a mistake.
But once you see that he’s not doing anything to prove to you his feelings are real, that’s when you know it’s time for you to stop waiting for him.
Also, when you see him dating someone else, it’s obvious that you won’t get a chance with him. He had an opportunity to date you, yet he still chose another woman.
After that, there’s not much to stick around for as he already showed you his real feelings.
6. He got tired of waiting for you to make up your mind
If he told you that he likes you but you made it clear that you need some time to make up your mind, maybe your guy simply got tired of waiting.
He gave you plenty of opportunities to tell him how you feel about him, but you didn’t use any of them. He realized there was no point in waiting for you any longer, so he started dating someone else.
In the meantime, you probably got jealous because you saw him with another woman and now you’re blaming it all on him.
But if this is what happened, both of you carry the same responsibility. When he shared his feelings with you, you had a chance to react. But also, he should’ve asked you if you’ve made up your mind so he can know if he should move on.
After taking some wrong steps, both of you ended up in a place where you’re probably less than happy.
Maybe you’re sorry that you wasted your chance and he’s sorry that he didn’t get an opportunity to get to know you better. If this sounds like your case, then there might still be time to fix things.
What to do when he starts dating someone else, even though he told you he likes you
“He likes me but started dating someone else. What do I do now?”
Even though it seems like a situation that’s hard to get out of, there are some things you can do to save yourself from pain. Chances are high that you won’t end up together, but even though this realization hurts like hell, it’s not yet time to give up on love.
When a guy who apparently likes you starts dating someone else, you need to play your cards right if you don’t want to end up looking desperate. So, here’s what you should and shouldn’t do if you’re going through a similar situation.
1. Don’t chase after him
Yes, he once told you that he likes you, but fact remains that he’s dating someone else now. So there’s no point in you chasing after him, this is your cue to give up on him.
Don’t go down the immature road, trying to win his attention. You’re better than that – you shouldn’t ever downgrade yourself.
He has a right to choose and it’s obvious that you aren’t his first pick. So, do you really want to chase after him when he clearly doesn’t like you enough to be with you and not some other woman?
Also, by pursuing him, you’d only boost his ego and make him feel like he upset you for not choosing to be with you. And trust me, that’s a lot more attention than he deserves.
So, if you’re even considering chasing after him and proving to him he made the wrong decision, then you must stop yourself for your own sake.
He clearly doesn’t deserve you and there’s no point in you fighting for him. Brush it off and let go of him.
I know that it isn’t that simple, but it’s the only right thing you can do right now.
2. The fact that he chose someone else is his loss
Right now, you probably feel like you lost a great man. But is this really the case or did he not instead lose an amazing woman?
Apparently, he liked you, yet he still chose to date someone else. Does it seem like a scenario where you missed out on something amazing? Or does it look more like the universe saved you from a guy who wasn’t good enough for you?
He lost you as he chose someone else over you and there’s not much you can do about that. You simply must accept that he had a choice and decided to go down another road.
Once you change your perspective, it will be easier to let go of him and continue living your own life.
3. You’re not any less lovable
Most of us have this tendency to blame ourselves when guys decide to go after someone else. We find all these reasons for being the one responsible for an unsuccessful love story.
And right now, you probably feel that way. The guy who likes you started dating someone else because of something you did (or didn’t) do.
After that, your self-esteem starts to take a nosedive. It feels as if there are zero chances you’ll meet someone who’ll love you the right way.
We all feel insecure from time to time, I get that. But just because he went after someone else, it doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of love. Just because he didn’t choose you, it doesn’t mean that you’re any less lovable.
Your worth is never defined by guys who leave or reject you. That’s their choice and you can’t do anything to change that.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. If anything, it only means that they’re not the right ones for you.
So, instead of putting yourself down because of some man who wasn’t capable of staying with you, change your attitude and remind yourself of your worth. One day, you’ll make someone the happiest man alive because he has a chance to be with you.
So, all those who came before him will only be lessons and nothing more. Their ability to walk away from you doesn’t make you less lovable. It only prepares you for the right one.
4. He’s not the only guy in the world
You’re probably broken right now. Because this guy who liked you is dating someone else, it all feels like the end of the world.
But if you keep thinking like this, you’ll only sink deeper and deeper.
He’s not the only man in the world and it’s plainly obvious that he wasn’t right for you from the start. So why then let yourself suffer when there are many other opportunities you’ll get in life?
A few of them will have the same outcome, but others will take you to a place you always wanted to reach.
Stop crying after him and keep it in mind that one day, you’ll meet a guy who’ll know how to treat you right. With him, things will progress swiftly and you won’t feel like you have to bend your back to impress him.
5. If it’s not meant to be, you can’t force it
Okay, it’s pretty clear that the two of you aren’t meant to be. And no matter how badly you wanted the two of you to succeed, the universe had some other plans in mind.
Honestly, there isn’t much you could do to change the final outcome. And while you may like him, it looks like the connection between the two of you isn’t enough to make him stay.
Then why bother about what could’ve happened and miss on other great opportunities because of him! Rather prepare your heart for the one who’ll come along and finally make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
6. Don’t blame the other woman – it’s not her fault
When a guy tells you that he likes you but starts dating someone else, you immediately blame it all on that other girl. She seduced him and lured him in, and he couldn’t resist her.
Really? Do you really want to blame an innocent woman for something that’s not her fault? She, in all likelihood, didn’t even know about the two of you as he never mentioned you.
In this case, he was a douche for deciding to play with your feelings. She had nothing to do with that – after all, she wouldn’t be able to force him into anything.
So, for the sake of your own happiness, stop hating on her. She doesn’t deserve that and you’re well aware of that.
7. Move on with your life
“He likes me but started dating someone else. Do I ignore it and see if things change?”
There’s only one thing you’re allowed to do right now – move on with your life.
I know that you’re feeling disappointed and upset, but there’s really not much you can do to change the final outcome. He already has someone else and it won’t help a thing to fight for his attention.
He had his chance and decided to waste it. Cross him out and keep living your life.
Waiting for him to change his mind and realize what he’s lost is a waste of time. It’s not the way to find your happiness.
So, learn from this experience, remind yourself that you deserve better, and simply move on. That’s the least you can do for yourself right now.
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