Think aloud
“He has a girlfriend, but I think he likes me.”
No one wants to catch the stares of a man who’s already in a relationship. At least not someone who has a moral compass pointing the right way.
We all know that a man who’s unfaithful to his current girlfriend is incapable of being faithful to you either.
However, sometimes, this happens even when you try to hide all your interest. You don’t want to show him that you get all shy or flustered when your eyes meet, nor do you want him to notice how your heart skips a beat.
That started happening after he showed interest in you. You probably wouldn’t even look in his direction from the very moment you saw his hand around another woman’s waist. Why would you? He’s taken!
But then he started showing signs that he likes you. Or are you just confused? Is your brain playing tricks on you?
You’ve seen the way he looks at you and you know that you should feel guilty for the thoughts you’re having, but to be honest, he’s the one at fault! He should stay away from any temptations. You’re the one who’s single and ready to mingle.
That doesn’t change the fact that you still feel quite bad for his girlfriend, though.
So you want to make sure that you’re seeing the right signs before you figure out your next move.
He has a girlfriend but I think he likes me: What signs I should look out for?
You have to understand that a guy who’s in a relationship will be much more careful with his body language and the words he uses when he’s around you. He won’t be as open about his attraction towards you as any other guy.
That’s because he doesn’t want you to see his affection towards you right away.
He’ll try to conceal his intentions with jokes or other coping mechanisms that are obvious when he’s anxious. So if he’s trying to show you any signs, he’ll be quite subtle about them. It won’t really be like a flag waving in front of your face.
I know it’s scary to suspect he likes you while he has a girlfriend. You’re at a cross-road here and you don’t really know what you should do.
In this article, we’ll tackle the moral dilemma of the situation you’ve found yourself in, as well as what you can do about it.
But first and foremost, let’s make sure that you’re seeing the right signs and not just confusing them for friendliness.
1. He always asks for your opinion
This is a very subtle one, of course. We all ask our friends for their opinion on things, right?
But it’s a little different with this guy. He seems a little more interested in your opinion on different topics than your other friends.
When you talk about these things, he probably makes sure to tell you how he shares your thoughts and he’ll bring his girlfriend down for thinking anything different.
This happens because he wants to subtly let you know that he considers your opinions valid. You’re obviously very important to him. He thinks of you as someone very valuable in his life and respects the things you share with him.
If a guy didn’t like you in a romantic sense, he wouldn’t bother with this information. He could simply ask his girlfriend if he had any dilemma regarding those topics. Especially if it’s about something serious like if he should or shouldn’t take that job offer.
Or even if it’s something simple as advice on how he should cut his hair. It shows just how much more he values your stance on things than his girlfriends’.
2. He constantly compliments you
You’re right to think he likes you even if he has a girlfriend when he continues to compliment you. Frankly speaking, that sounds like someone who’s begging for your attention.
When a guy compliments you, it’s his way of paying you a lot of attention and wanting you to know it. He wants you to realize that he sees the little details about you better than anyone else.
This is especially true if those compliments are about your appearance. We’re used to getting compliments about our personality from our friends.
But our male friends don’t complement our appearance unless we do something very out of the ordinary for us.
The thing is, he doesn’t seem to fall into any of those friendly boxes. He has his own box. He compliments you on the way you put your makeup on, on how your outfit looks on you, and so on.
This man even notices when you do something different with your hair.
Not to mention the fact that he seems to always devour you with his eyes. Whenever you ask him what he’s looking at, he makes some cheesy remark about how you’re just a sight for sore eyes.
A man like that is obviously playing a dangerous game because you’re trying really hard to ignore his advances. At one point, those compliments will get to your head and you’ll feel your heart skip a few beats.
3. He doesn’t keep physical distance from you
To me, it sounds like he likes you even though he has a girlfriend, and I think that he’s trying to tell you that with his own body language. He might try to conceal his infatuation with you, but he can’t help standing a bit too close to you.
This is the safest way he can be close to you without anyone misunderstanding his behavior. He doesn’t want people to go to his girlfriend with this info, so he’s being very careful.
But he doesn’t seem to hide it too well, because you’re able to see through every move he makes.
He always stands a little closer than usual to you.
His hand brushes against yours too often to be a coincidence and even when he’s just trying to walk past you, he puts a hand on your lower back and you just know that he’s a little too close for your own good.
But you can’t really confront him about it, because you’re not sure what his intentions are.
So at the end of the day, you just let these things slide.
He’s being quite subtle about it right now, but you know that he wouldn’t be standing this close next to you if his girlfriend was anywhere in sight. If she walked into the room right now, he would back away faster than lightning.
4. He tells you his problems
You won’t really ever see a guy in a happy relationship rant about his issues to other women. Men who have a loving girlfriend don’t have to do that because they already have someone who is their support system.
When a guy has a girlfriend and loves her dearly, he has no reason to talk to other women about anything regarding his life. Especially not his problems.
Of course, you’re his friend, he has a right to seek your advice and shoulder when things get tough.
But if you’ve asked him what his girlfriend thinks of it and he’s simply told you that he hasn’t talked to her about it yet, that’s a huge red flag.
That man doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that you’re more important to him than his girlfriend. And while it may seem rather flattering at the time, that just means that he doesn’t respect her at all.
Another example is when he complains about her to you. You’re the first person he comes to when they have a fight and he goes on about her so much that you really sometimes feel like he’s about to break up with her any moment.
Whenever you tell him that he should talk to her about these issues, he just tells you that no one understands him as well as you do.
If anything, this should be the biggest sign that he likes you more than he likes her. He would go to her first if he was really that into her.
5. He invites you to parties (even when she’s there)
It’s a cute gesture to invite your friends to parties, as it always feels like you’re special to them.
But when you see other signs that he likes you and then he continues to invite you everywhere (even though his girlfriend is there), you’re right to get a tad suspicious.
To me, it sounds like he likes you even if he has a girlfriend. Because, come on, who would ever invite someone they find attractive to a party if they knew their partner would be there?
You know that you won’t be alone there, you know so many people, but he’s not leaving your side. He continues to talk to you and when his girlfriend tries to get him to dance with her, he looks annoyed and apologetic.
Why would a guy treat his girlfriend like that? He could just as easily break up with her and continue on with his life as if nothing ever happened.
But I genuinely doubt that she’s such an awful human being that she deserves this type of treatment. Neither of you deserves it.
You might think that he does this just to show you how much he cares about you, but he should care about how his girlfriend feels first and foremost.
6. He never mentions her around you
It’s like he wants you to forget that she exists at all. As if it’s so much easier to ignore the existence of his girlfriend than to address the elephant in the room when he’s obviously flirting with you.
When you ask about her, he keeps his answers short and you could swear you hear the annoyance in his voice. You can hear that he wants to get the topic over with and talk about anything else.
Why would he avoid talking about the girl he presumably loves? He should be ecstatic at any chance to mention her and to just remind everyone just how absolutely amazing his girlfriend is. But he’d rather talk about you and not her.
This is a very subtle sign you’ll have to look out for. You can’t really say that he avoids talking about her based on one instance.
He could’ve just been mad at her and didn’t feel like talking about her. But when this happens more than once, you can be sure that there’s something more to his story.
He probably doesn’t want to mention her because he wants to forget about her when he’s with you. Most importantly, he wants you to forget that he already has a girlfriend.
7. He ditched her to spend time with you
It doesn’t matter if you did or didn’t ask him to do this, he should always prioritize his girlfriend. But he obviously doesn’t. You’re his biggest priority.
You probably asked him to hang out with you, but when he came to pick you up, he told you that he had to cancel a date with his girlfriend to be with you. Who does this?
Of course, your friends are always important and you’d do anything for them. But canceling a date? For a friend of the opposite gender?
If that doesn’t sound suspicious, I don’t know what does.
I really do think that he likes you because to me it sounds like he prioritizes you even though he has a girlfriend.
You feel like you’re always taking up way too much of his time, but that’s a decision he made for himself. He wants to spend more time with you than with her.
This is definitely his way of telling you both who takes top ranking in his life. Why would he do that if he didn’t like you more than he liked his girlfriend?
8. She asks you if something’s going on
You know that things have escalated when his girlfriend herself comes up to you to talk about this issue.
If you’ve come to this stage, she’ll ask you what’s going on between you two and if she should be worried. If she’s your friend as well, you’ll tell her the whole truth.
This just means that she is more perceptive than her boyfriend thinks she is. She’s been seeing the way he looks at you, how he touches you, and how he spends more time with you than with her.
Girls can sense when their partner’s feelings start to fade or change. We can especially see when our partner is developing feelings for someone else.
You could say that it’s some sort of a sensor that continues to go off whenever we feel like we’re not needed in our own relationship.
So if his girlfriend comes up to you, I can guarantee you that she knows about his feelings for you.
This is when everything should be clear to you because he probably talked about you to her a lot and now she’s simply too hurt to continue listening to it.
This has nothing to do with either one of you, but rather with his inability to make a decision.
What should I do when he has a girlfriend but I think he likes me?
There’s a limited amount of things that you can do in this situation because it’s a little too tricky to just let it go. Of course, you could choose to simply ignore it, but you could lose two friends and also a chance with the guy you like (if you like him at all, that is).
If you’re here looking for advice, you’re probably thinking about giving him a chance. But the situation is very delicate and you don’t know what you should do to not end up as the side chick.
That’s why we’re here to help you out!
1. Decide what you want
Deep down, you know what you want. You know if this is okay to do or not.
You could be a homewrecker and be with him, or you could deal with a broken heart and lose a good friend. It’s actually a lose-lose situation, but you could try either way.
Don’t tell me that you don’t know what you want. You know quite well. No one can make that decision for you and because of that, you really need to think this through thoroughly.
2. Analyze his actions
After you read all the possible signs that he likes you even though he has a girlfriend, you should definitely analyze his actions.
“He has a girlfriend but I think he likes me” is quite a tough thought to constantly consider because the pressure is real. You don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong.
This is your chance to analyze what he wants. You’re probably friends and know him quite well.
Listen to what your gut is telling you. Does it tell you that he’s just playing with your feelings because he’s bored? Does it tell you that his feelings are genuine? What’s your conscience telling you?
3. Confront him
If at any point you feel like he’s crossing some kind of boundary or if you simply can’t handle his moods anymore, you need to confront him.
This man has a girlfriend waiting for him at home, but here he is, showering you with compliments.
Does that really sound fair to either one of you?
You should confront him if you really want some clarity. You can overthink this situation and stress out about it, but that won’t be productive at all.
There’s no better thing to do but talk to him about it. Ask him all the questions you have, tell him all the signs you’ve been spotting, and demand answers.
It can go two ways. Either he’ll admit to everything and makes sure you come to a solution together. Or he will deny everything and play dumb. You’ll know what your next steps are based on his reaction.
4. Tell her what’s going on
If he doesn’t want to talk to her about this, you should be the one to tell her. I know that you probably want him just as much as he wants you, but she’s collateral damage. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt because of you two.
Girls support girls and all that. Don’t just turn a blind eye to her.
Sit down with her and tell her about the signals you’ve been getting from him, as well as what you and he have talked about. Tell her how you feel about everything and make sure that she understands the seriousness of the situation.
5. Tell him to leave her if he wants to be with you
If he truly wants to be with you and doesn’t want to walk out of your life, then you have every right to demand that he leaves her. You deserve more than to be someone’s second choice.
He needs to make a decision and he needs to do it now – before you make that decision for him.
Stand your ground because you shouldn’t have to share a man you’re interested in. You shouldn’t share him, especially if he’s ready to cheat on his girlfriend with you.
If he doesn’t leave her, then you’re out. You’re not going to stand around and watch how he continues to break two hearts at the same time.
6. Tell him to leave you alone
Ouch. This one hurts.
Especially if you think that he likes you even when he has a girlfriend. If this happened to me, I’d be heartbroken as well.
You don’t want him to leave, but you also refuse to be the other woman. You deserve so much better than that. If he’s not ready to leave her, then you have no reason to stay and wait for him to change his mind.
He’s obviously not able to look at you as a friend and stop his little games. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.
