Think aloud
“Just give him 3 days. Wait three days, no texts, no calls, no nothing. Then see if he comes back.”
The first time someone breaks your heart, you feel like you’ll never go back to your old self. You crawl through days filled with sadness with a feeling that nothing will ever be the same.
But as time goes by, you realize that you’re smiling once again. Your heart doesn’t break the moment you think about your ex-boyfriend or see him walk by you.
The truth is, you’re a human being, capable of healing wounds, even though you can’t see it coming at first.
After a while, you find yourself feeling attracted to other people. You date other guys, fall for them and eventually, let them break your heart. Again…
You wake up and feel like you finally have it all figured out. The next day, you get a text message where your new guy tells you he’s sorry but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for you two to be together.
Just like that, you go through these cycles of emotions. Sometimes, you’re high in the skies, and other times you don’t feel like getting out of bed.
But it all changes the moment you meet that one guy who truly feels like the right one. Suddenly, you get this idea that he could be the one to mend your broken heart forever.
When you look at him, he truly feels like the man you can imagine yourself growing old with.
Ecstatic, you run to your best friend, telling her everything about this new man you’re dating. And instead of feeling the same way you do, her face makes a dull reaction.
Give him 3 days!
Your friend keeps convincing you that you shouldn’t rush things this time. Instead of showing a guy how hard you fell for him, you should choose to stay calm and avoid letting him know how you feel about him.
At first, you think that your friend must be jealous of your happiness. You accuse her of trying to sabotage a perfectly fine romance.
But then you remember that your friend has been your rock every time your face was soaking with tears. She was the one who helped you move forward and turn all of the grief and sadness into something positive.
Believe me, she doesn’t want to see you going through another heartbreak. She only wants to protect you from the pain you’re about to feel if you rush into things this time.
She’s aware that every real relationship needs time and that you shouldn’t be in one only because you’re putting in your best efforts. A guy needs to do his share as well, and that’s never going to happen if you keep calling and texting him – if you keep doing everything while he simply sticks around until he gets bored.
When you give him 3 days, you give him a chance to figure out that he’s about to lose you if he doesn’t do something about it. He’s about to willingly push you away because he never lifted a finger for you.
If you still don’t believe me that you should apply this rule to your relationship, then keep reading. I’ll show you all of the benefits a simple 3 days can bring.
Benefits of giving him 3 days
A healthy relationship is about both partners putting in an equal amount of effort. It’s about showing each other that the only reason you’re together is that you truly want to.
It’s not because you’re lonely and bored. Or that you can’t stand not having anyone by your side.
A serious relationship requires you to text your partner “good morning” and “good night” because you can’t imagine texting anyone else those same words.
A lot of women ignore the fact that they shouldn’t be the only ones trying. That their partner must put in the same effort if they want a relationship to work.
By applying the 3-day rule, you’re actually testing his desire to be by your side. If he truly wants you in his life, he’ll use this chance to show you that.
Here are all of the benefits of giving your guy space and time. Applying a no-contact rule, even for those three days, will turn out to be beneficial for you, and here’s why.
1. You’ll know how he truly feels about you
After you’ve given him 3 days, you’ll finally get a clue about how he really feels about you. He’ll show you through his actions if he was only pretending.
Maybe all this time he’s been seducing you with sweet words, repeating how much he cares about you. But whenever you wanted him to prove those through actions, he failed to deliver.
That’s why this is a great opportunity to finally see if he’s either been sweet-talking you only so he can get what he wants from you, or been real about it this whole time.
Remember, if he doesn’t pick up his phone to call you after the three days have passed, then it’s obvious that he’s only playing with you. Eventually, a guy like that would decide to walk away from you, no matter how hard you try to keep him around.
But if he reaches out to you in the meantime and keeps the conversation going even after you stop texting him, then it’s obvious that his feelings are real. He doesn’t want to lose you and he doesn’t have an issue with being the first one to call.
By giving him three days, you’ll be able to figure out how he feels about you. And that’s exactly what you need if you don’t want to get your heart broken yet another time.
2. You’ll save yourself from chasing after him
Have you always be the one to chase after guys? Have you always felt as if you’re putting in way more effort than him?
If the answer is “yes” then you should apply the 3-day rule and see if giving your partner space will be the thing that stops the communication. Maybe he’s there to play games with you but you’ve failed to see that since you always end up giving him way more chances than he deserves.
Whenever he gives you a cold shoulder, you run after him, trying to fix all of the mistakes in your relationship. And whenever he doesn’t call you for days, you swallow your pride and reach out to him first.
But this time it’ll be different since you have to make a promise to yourself that you won’t end up being the one to call. This time, you won’t chase after him but will give him a chance to show you how much you mean to him.
Maybe you’re scared to do so because you’re wondering: Will he come back if you give him space? Or will it only push him away?
But if you need to be the one who initiates the communication all the time, then you have nothing to look forward to in this relationship. Period.
3. It’ll be easier to accept that you’re not meant to be
If you just started dating and decided to give him 3 days to see how he’ll react, then it will be easier to accept the fact that your relationship was never made to last.
In these 3 days, you’ll have enough time to accept the truth. His feelings were never real and he kept you around for all of the wrong reasons.
If he truly loved you, the messaging wouldn’t stop the second you decided to wait for him to text first. Those late-night calls would still be the thing, even if you’re not the one to dial his number first.
Giving your man space shouldn’t be the reason he completely forgets that you even exist. It shouldn’t be why you don’t hear from him anymore once you stop reaching out first.
In those three days, you’ll face the truth and it will be clear if you weren’t made to last. He wasn’t your soulmate but only a guy who’d teach you a lesson.
You can’t make people love you. Even when you give your best to do so.
If they aren’t willing to be there for you because they truly want to, then you’re better off without them.
7 things to remember when you give him 3 days to reach out
Before you begin your journey of giving him three days to show you how much you actually mean to him, there are some things you should keep in mind. These are super important points in order to apply this rule successfully.
1. Accept that it won’t be easy
It doesn’t sound like much, right? What are three days in comparison to a month or even more? It will pass in the blink of an eye.
But things won’t be easy, trust me.
When you’re used to speaking with someone on a daily basis, three days can feel like a lifetime. At one point, it may seem like time is dragging on at a snail’s pace.
That’s why you need to admit to yourself that this won’t be a cakewalk. When you give him 3 days, it will also feel as if you’ve given yourself the hardest challenge ever.
You’ll keep waiting for him to call you. You’ll keep listening out for that notification bell on your phone in case he sends you a message.
But it will be especially hard if none of those things happen and you start to realize that he’s not even thinking about you. While he’s the only thought on your mind, he hasn’t even realized that you haven’t been hearing from each other.
At first, this realization will hurt like hell but it will all ease down as time goes by.
As long as you’re aware that it will all get better, you’re good to go. It might not be easy, but you’re strong enough to endure it and get over it.
2. Put your phone down
When you give him 3 days to enjoy his own space and his own life, you’ll be glued to your phone.
You’ll keep scrolling through social media, checking if he posted anything. You’ll keep reopening and closing his chat endlessly, desperately wishing to text him and end the agony.
But you must stay strong. You must avoid doing anything that’ll take you back to square one.
I know it’s agonizing, but you must do it for yourself. This is your chance to check if his feelings are real or if he’s only playing games with you.
In this case, putting your phone down is the best thing to do. It will allow you to stop obsessively checking up on him, trying to see if he’s having fun without you.
Also, if he posts anything that proves to you he’s not even thinking about you, you’ll possibly end up reaching out to him, which isn’t the way to go. Do yourself a favor and let time show you the reality of the situation.
If he really likes you, he’ll miss you and in no time, you’ll see his name on your screen. But if it’s all a charade and his feelings aren’t real, then it’s better for you to know that before you fall for him even more.
3. It’s okay to feel the way you do
Another thing to prepare yourself for is that you’ll feel a whole range of emotions in those three days.
One day, you’ll wake up feeling crushed because you can’t face the idea that he can go 24 hours without hearing from you. You’ll feel played and start doubting that you should trust anyone from now on.
The next moment, you’ll be glad that you spotted a liar whose only intention was to break your heart. After reading a bunch of life quotes, you’ll feel inspired to move on after him, without even looking back.
These emotions are part of the process and you have every right to feel them. This emotional journey can seem a lot like a roller coaster that you can’t get off.
Up and down, you’ll go through these phases of pain and happiness and it’ll all feel like too much to handle. But as time goes by, you’ll get better and in the end, you’ll feel like you’re the one who won the game, no matter the outcome.
If he reaches out to you, then you know he’s not playing with you. But if he forgets you exist, then you know you saved yourself from a guy who was only capable of hurting you.
4. Write your feelings down, but never send them to him
In those 3 days you give him, you’ll feel like you’re standing at the edge. This one constant thought will be marching around your head and you won’t be able to ignore it.
WRITE TO HIM. TEXT HIM. LET HIM KNOW THAT HE’S A DOUCHE. LET HIM KNOW HE MADE YOU SUFFER.
But if you actually go down that road and send him a message, you’ll only end up looking clingy.
So, instead of reaching out to him, find another avenue to let out those thoughts. Write down your feelings, without any intention of sending them to him.
Take your journal and start jotting down everything you’re currently feeling. Or open the notes on your phone and express your emotions there.
Once it’s all out of your system, you’ll feel much better about the whole situation. Plus, you won’t give him a chance to see how much he hurt you by proving you’re the last thing on his mind.
You won’t give him that satisfaction and it will be easier for you to move on once all of the bad feelings are out of your head.
5. Find something to occupy your mind
When you give him 3 days to reach out to you, you also need to find something to occupy your mind. You need something to help you not think about him all the time.
It may be a new hobby, spending more quality time with friends, or binge-listening to all of the new episodes of your favorite podcast.
You can literally choose anything you want, as long as you know it will help to steer your focus away from him.
It needs to be something that will make you feel better, something you’ll enjoy. That way, it will be easier to stop thinking about him and give you some room to breathe.
Cutting contact with a person who means a lot to you is never easy, especially if it becomes obvious that your special guy hasn’t even noticed that you’re gone. That’s why you need something to keep you sane and help you stay in the right lane.
Also, having your best friends close by is a great way to remind yourself that your life is still full of people who care about you. Maybe you’re about to lose that one guy, but you still have your friends who only want the best for you.
6. Remind yourself of your worth
When you’ve given him 3 days and not heard from him, you start to doubt yourself. Your mental health takes a knock and you start wondering if you’re even worthy of love.
I can tell you to stop thinking this way, but I know it’s easier said than done. When this happens, no command can prevent your mind from creating these scenarios where you see yourself as not good enough.
That’s why you need to be prepared ahead of time that you’ll feel this way, so that you’re able to reconvince yourself that your worth isn’t defined by a guy – regardless of whether he loves you or not.
Even if he was to reject you over and over again, your value would still remain the same.
So, instead of stressing about it and believing you’re not good enough, remember that his inability to love you for who you are is his flaw. It has nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t let it get to you.
7. Accept the fact that you can’t make people stay
When you give your guy 3 days to show you how much he cares about you, you should be prepared for the possibility that you’ll never hear back from him.
If all this time, his feelings were just pretense, then he won’t do anything to show you he cares about you. He won’t call or text because he never truly felt enough for you in the first place.
And there’s nothing you can do to change that. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to make him think differently.
He was always meant to be just a lesson and nothing more. He used you to boost his ego and to have someone so he’s not alone.
But both of those things are temporary and he would’ve left you sooner or later.
The good thing is that you realized his feelings are fake before it was too late.
Now, there’s only one thing left to do. Instead of pitying yourself and convincing yourself that you’re unlovable, you should keep one thing in mind.
Some people will never be able to love you, even if you show them the best parts of yourself.
You won’t be able to make them stay, even if you give them the best treatment ever. Their role is to teach you a valuable lesson.
You can give them everything they want, care about them more than you have anyone else, and it still won’t be enough. They will still find a reason to leave you.
So, stop stressing about it and let life lead you to where you’re destined to reach. Don’t even bother about those who were never meant to be yours.
This article is your cue to give him 3 days. Let him show you how much you mean to him.
If he makes effort then there’s a chance that your relationship will work out. But if you don’t hear from him in those few short days, then it’s obvious that it was inevitable for this relationship to end.
By putting in double the amount of effort, you only avoided its closure for a while. Eventually, your relationship would have the same outcome and there’s nothing you could do to change that.
