It’s a well-known story that men are afraid of commitment and the best way to get them to commit is by pulling away.
The number of women who are facing the same issue is constantly rising.
All of them want to know why are men afraid of it and which technique is best to use.
Relationships experts agree on the technique of pulling away as it’s shown the best results in making men commit.
You may ask yourself, “How could I make him commit to me if I’m willingly walking away from him?”
To get the answer to this question, you need to shift perspectives.
We all know that we start appreciating things the second they’re gone. That’s simply how our brain works.
When you have something, you don’t know how it feels when that something is gone as it’s simply there in your life.
Then at one point, when you lose it, you no longer take it for granted as you realize how amazing life was before.
Let’s say that someone is giving you $100 a week. There’s nothing you have to do in return – you simply get the money.
It feels alright. You’re not really thinking about it and to be honest, you probably aren’t paying much attention to it.
But at one point, you stop getting money. Only after that, you start appreciating what you had.
You know how it felt to have something and now that it’s gone, you don’t like your life without it.
The same applies to men who don’t want to commit. They now have everything with you.
You’ve given him all of the benefits of a relationship and he feels good about it.
At the same time, he’s not ready to commit because he already has everything he wants, so why would he want to change anything?
When you pull away, you’re giving him space and letting him know how his life would look if you weren’t around.
That’ll make him realize that he’s much happier when you’re there and he’ll willingly decide to commit to you as he doesn’t want to lose you.
Now that you understand how pulling away is directly connected with him making a commitment, let’s see what steps you should take after you’ve decided to try this method.
How to get him to commit by pulling away?
If you want to get him to commit by pulling away, it’s not enough to simply disappear from his life.
You need to know what to do every step of the way so you can be sure that he’ll come running to you.
We’ll now go deeper into the steps that’ll be your secure recipe for success.
1. Pull away from him without telling him why you’re doing it
If you’ve tried all options but nothing seems to work to get him to commit, then save this best one for last.
If you wanna get him to commit, you need to be willing to pull away and have faith in the process.
By doing this, you’re freeing him from the commitment talk and letting him know that you’re done with pressuring him.
This time, you won’t tell him that you want him to commit. You won’t tell him that you want to label your relationship.
Instead, you’ll simply pull away and let him wonder what’s going on.
I know that we women love to talk people into things. We believe that we can change them and influence them with our words.
But sometimes we’re doing more harm than good.
It’s hard to realize that men don’t like to be controlled.
They don’t like doing things they’re told to do as they want to know that something they did was primarily their own decision.
So, every time you’re talking with your man and telling him that you want him to commit, you’re actually pushing him away from you.
You’re building a wall that becomes higher with every persuasive word you say. At one point, that wall will be too high for him to even think about climbing over it.
Instead of getting him to commit, you’ll get him to run away. And because you’re currently reading this, I know that it’s not what you want.
That’s why you’ll take a different approach from now on. Instead of convincing him with your words, you’ll get him to commit willingly, without telling him a thing.
You’ll get him to commit by pulling away and not saying a word as to why you’re doing it.
You’ll be surprised at what will happen after that.
2. Move on with your life and let him miss you
Now that you’ve pulled away, you need to move on with your life. Getting him to commit by pulling away won’t work on its own.
You need to show him what he’s losing and let him realize that he will actually miss you when you’re not around.
Act like you’re too busy with your life and you don’t have time to wait for him.
In the age of social media and constant contact with people all across the globe, it’s quite easy to show him that your life is amazing and full of activities.
Take up a new hobby, go to parties, and spend time with your friends. And be a bit sneaky and publish all of that on your social media accounts.
Let him see what he’s missing out on. Let him see that you’re an amazing person who leads an amazing life and it won’t change even if he isn’t in it.
When he sees how much fun you’re having, he’ll wish that you were around him and start to miss you.
You know how they say, “Grass is always greener on the other side.” The same will happen with your guy who isn’t ready to commit.
He won’t want anything serious until he realizes all the things you can offer him.
While he’s with you, he longs for other things. But once he loses you, he wishes to have you back and be serious with you.
So, if you want him to commit, pull away, and let him miss you. He’ll come running back into your arms and never leave them again.
3. Stop constantly communicating with him
When you make a decision that you’ll get your guy to commit by pulling away, you also need to understand that your communication should get reduced.
No more constant texts and calls – you’re now on vacation from communication.
If you think that pulling away in order to get him to commit can work if the two of you are constantly hanging on your phones, then you’re wrong.
You’re not giving him space. You’re not letting him see how sad his life would be without you.
And you’re not letting him miss you if you’re telling him about your day down to the smallest details.
On the flip side, if you reduce your level of communication, he’ll have no idea what’s going on.
He’ll start thinking about you: Where is she? Why isn’t she texting me? She never told me that she’d be busy.
Things like this will trigger him and he’ll try to reach out to you harder than before. And that’s what you want.
You want him to realize that you have no intention of giving your full attention to someone who doesn’t want to commit.
But you want him to do it on his own, without persuading him that it’s the right thing to do.
So, next time he texts you to go to dinner, let him wait for your response.
And even if you decide to text him back, tell him that you’re too busy and you can’t make it work.
He’ll be left wanting more, but you won’t be giving him that until he’s ready to commit to you!
4. Go on dates with other people
By pulling away from him, you’re giving him enough space and time to realize what it is that he wants.
But it doesn’t mean that you should be waiting for him and stopping your life until he makes a decision.
Instead, move on with your life. And that means going on dates with other people.
You’re still single, so why shouldn’t you look around? Maybe you’ll find someone who suits you better and is ready to commit.
I know that you care about him, but if you let him see that you’ll pause your whole life for him and that he’s the one who’s in control, you’ll only ruin your chances of getting what you want.
On the other hand, if he sees that you’re moving on with your life regardless of his decision to commit or not commit to you, he’ll want to be a part of it again.
If he really likes you and is ready to commit, he won’t stand seeing you going out with other people.
He’ll want to make you his, no matter what it takes.
Don’t think that he’ll decide that he’s ready to commit if you’re sitting by the phone and waiting for him to tell you those magical words.
Instead, show him how amazing you are and how you’re not ready to press the pause button on your life only to wait for him to make up his mind.
So, go on dates and show him what he’s losing out on. It’ll only make him want you harder.
5. Let him see that you won’t be waiting for him
It’s not your duty to spend your whole life in suspense, unsure what will happen next with you and him.
Will he wake up one morning and tell you that this thing you have is nothing serious and that he’s been going out with other girls while with you?
Or will he wake up and ask you to marry him?
There’s a huge difference between the two.
That’s why you want him to commit and let you know that his intentions are real.
Even if your relationship falls apart, at least you’d know that the feelings on both sides were genuine.
If he’s not willing to do that, then you shouldn’t be willing to live your life waiting for him to make a move.
Yes, you want to be with him, but if it’s not something that he wants, then you won’t wait for him to change his mind.
You’re not forced to be with someone who’s unsure of his feelings and you should show him that.
When you pull away from him, he’ll see that you are serious and won’t let him treat you the way you don’t want to be treated.
If he can’t make any effort then why should you? You’re a strong, confident woman who knows what she wants.
If he doesn’t want to be serious with you, you won’t wait for him.
6. Be mysterious
Sometimes, less is more.
When you pull away from him, you wanna make sure that you’re not giving him too much information, but at the same time, enough that he knows what he’s losing.
Don’t openly tell him: I’m up to this and that. Instead, include a bit of mystery and let him ask himself questions about you:
Why can’t she go out with me this weekend? Why isn’t she answering my calls?
Don’t tell him all the good stuff the moment you find out about them.
Instead, share things with him later on, once you decide that it’s time to accept his date invite.
Be a bit calculating. If he can do it, then why can’t you?
By telling him everything about you, you’re not letting anything to the imagination.
You’re showing him all parts of you and he probably won’t like all that so soon.
But when you’re feeding him piece by piece, you’re keeping him interested for a longer period of time and he’ll always come back for more.
So instead of being completely open with him, let him dig deeper if he wants to get to know you better.
7. Let him chase you for a while
Even if he tells you that he’s ready to commit, you should let him show that his words are genuine.
When you miss someone, it’s easy to think that you’re now willing to do everything for them. But let him prove that to you through his actions.
Let him choose you over and over again until you’re sure he’s not playing with you.
Men naturally love to chase things they don’t have but want to get. So, if he wants to be with you, he’ll chase you.
Show him what he can have and let him work for it. Let him earn your trust and let him show you respect.
Everyone can tell you that they want to be with you and expect you to trust them. But you want him to show it.
You want his actions to speak louder than words as that way only you’ll know his real intentions.
If you by any chance end up chasing him, you can delete any idea of him committing to you from your mind as there’s no way he’ll ever do it.
By chasing him, you’re giving him control and letting him choose. And no man likes to be with a woman who puts everything on the table.
That’s not attractive to him and it most certainly doesn’t make you irresistible.
You only end up looking desperate – running around him like he’s the only guy in the world.
Don’t let that happen to you. Instead, take the wheel and let him be the one who’s chasing.
If you want him to commit to you by pulling away, you need to know what you’re doing every step of the way.
What is it about men that makes them run away from commitment?
What’s so scary about committing to someone you like?
Whenever men hear the word “commitment” they run for the hills like their life depended on it.
So, there must be something behind it that triggers this bad feeling that makes them avoid commitment for as long as possible.
And indeed, there are some things men are afraid of that prevent them from stepping into a committed relationship.
Some of them are obvious, while others may surprise you.
1. You’re not the only woman in his life
This one is more than obvious. Your man isn’t ready to commit because he doesn’t want to.
He’s seeing other women and he’s not ready for anything serious.
He’ll give you excuses so you don’t leave him until he decides it’s time to break things off, but in the meantime, he won’t stop seeing other people.
He loves to have options and doesn’t want to limit himself.
I know you don’t want to believe that your man is afraid of commitment because he’s seeing other girls, but you should know that it’s a probability.
2. He thinks that commitment equals loss of freedom
When men hear the word “commitment” they instantly think of life in prison.
They think about always having to spend time with their girlfriend, including them in all their plans, and not being able to hang out with their friends.
Because of this idea, men hate commitment and have developed an irrational fear of it.
No one likes to be controlled and men think that when women ask for commitment, they ask for permission to control them.
They don’t understand that we’re only asking for assurance that we’ll be the only women in their lives.
3. Regardless of his age, he’s still immature
Commitment requires a strong will to grow with the person you’re in a relationship with.
It requires overcoming problems together and working on solving disagreements.
Commitment is teamwork where both of you are working for the sake of the other person.
So, if your man isn’t ready to commit, it might be because he’s still emotionally immature.
He isn’t sure of his future plans and doesn’t know what he wants from life.
The ideas in his head are still childish and he can’t give you more than that.
So, no matter how hard you try, he simply isn’t ready to commit, he’s just too immature for it.
4. It feels like too much pressure
Your man hears this word all the time and it’s started to bring him more pressure than he’d want.
He comes home and he listens to you constantly repeating that you want him to commit and it all haunts him, so he decides to escape from it.
Whenever you push someone to do something, the outcome isn’t as good as expected.
When we’re under pressure and doing things only because someone told us we should, we never get great results.
Instead, the work will be sloppy and half-done, and it simply won’t make you happy.
Same with commitment.
If he feels that he’s being pressured into something he doesn’t want, you’ll only succeed in pushing him away and making him run from you.
5. He’s afraid of everything commitment can bring
It’s not only about stepping into a committed relationship. It’s also about what could happen after that.
There’s the fear of missing out on something. Fear of failure and what to do after that. How to overcome it and continue your life after it?
And there’s the fear of the future. What to do if the relationship works out? Marriage, secure job, kids, buying a house…
There are too many things to take into consideration and no guide on what to do if any of them happen.
It seems safer to stay single or in a non-committal relationship than to go through the pain later on.
You need to know what to do and what to avoid, then you’re golden. And when that happens, he’ll choose you over every other girl.
Of course, this only works if his feelings are genuine and he doesn’t belong to the group of men called players.
If that’s the case, then your chances of getting him to commit by pulling away are low.
To be honest, they’re practically non-existent, as men like that are never ready to commit.