Think aloud
When you think about the potential obstacles you and your significant other might face in your romantic relationship, your boyfriend moving away ranks pretty high on the list.
It’s difficult to cope with the fact that your partner might be miles away from you. It could be that his family decided to relocate, or because of a job opportunity or any other life change.
Whatever the case, dealing with the physical distance is always stressful and tough on the heart.
There’s no doubt that your relationship will go through significant changes since you have to adapt to this whole new situation.
Many people think long-distance relationships can’t and won’t work. Your friends may advise you to leave him or your family may discourage you from continuing your relationship with your boyfriend.
But, if he truly cares about you and you care about him, who’s to say you’ll get heartbroken?
Okay, nobody says it’ll be easy. The physical distance between the two of you will challenge the love that you have for each other.
You’ll definitely get lonely and sad, and things could get complicated from time to time.
But once you overcome the initial problems that come with LDRs, you’ll start to appreciate the simplest things, such as eating together, holding each other’s hand, taking a walk together, and those kinds of things. These small things will be even sweeter than they were before once you finally get to see each other again.
Before jumping to the tips and tricks on how to survive a long-distance relationship, there are a couple of things that we need to clarify first.
Should you stay in a relationship with your boyfriend?
Well, no one can answer this question for you. And it’s certainly not something that should be taken lightly because it’s a decision that will have a huge impact on your life.
You and your partner must work together on a solution that will work for both of you.
Ask yourself and your partner this: Is your relationship and love worth it?
If you have a positive answer to this question, then there’s no doubt that you should continue dating your boyfriend.
If you’re serious about each other and if your relationship goes in the right direction, then an LDR won’t be a problem for you.
But if it’s more of a casual relationship that you two have, then now it’s the perfect time to call it off and go your separate ways.
Your boyfriend is moving away and it’s not a big deal, trust me. But whether or not you continue your relationship entirely depends on you and him.
Think about your future together and how both of you will be affected by him moving away.
Take your time and don’t make any impulse decisions as someone might get hurt.
If you’re overwhelmed by the whole situation and can’t get your head straight, then ask your family or friends for advice if you need to.
How to talk to your boyfriend about your worries?
The best way would be to have a face-to-face conversation. And whatever you do, avoid talking over text or social media about serious issues.
Have an honest talk with him and tell him how you feel about this whole situation.
Stay calm and don’t let your emotions govern your actions. If your boyfriend is moving away, chances are that it’s not his fault. He’s not intentionally trying to distance himself from you. Maybe he moved to go to college or for a new job.
As you’re having the conversation with him, share your concerns and try to figure out a solution.
If you work together, you’ll feel much better about your relationship and worry less about him falling out of love and finding another girl there.
There are a couple of things that you should address before your boyfriend moves away. Try to come up with an agreement of some type because it will help you deal with the transition more easily.
Ask him how many times he expects you to visit him and vice versa? You might also suggest that you video call each other every other night just so you can see each other’s faces.
It’s difficult to date because of the distance, but today’s technology has made it a bit easier for those in long-distance relationships. The most usual way to virtual-date is via social media apps and video calling.
You can always suggest to him that you start watching a favorite TV show together via video call.
Be understanding and flexible if your boyfriend is moving away because of college, though, as he’ll have a lot of responsibilities there and not as much time for you as he did before.
What to avoid when your boyfriend is moving away?
When your significant other decides to move away, it’s so easy to let your emotions cloud your judgment. But remember, you’re a strong woman and you’ve survived worse situations.
Keep in mind that you should never blame him for moving away from you.
It’s easy to say that it’s his fault for moving away, but as I mentioned before, you have to understand that he’s making the right decision for himself. Maybe he got a job offer that he can’t and shouldn’t pass up.
Many women go into panic mode when their partner tells them they’re moving away, and the pain they’re feeling can quickly turn into anger.
But if you play the blame game with your partner, your relationship will slowly deteriorate and all you’ll have left is resentment toward each other.
And no matter how much time you give yourself and your partner, the regret will never go away.
That’s why you should work and stand together if you want your long-distance relationship to work.
Never disrespect each other’s feelings.
You never know how your boyfriend will react to him having to move away. Maybe he’s genuinely excited about this new job opportunity, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s thrilled about leaving you behind.
You never know what life has in store for you, so you shouldn’t give up so easily and be frustrated with your boyfriend. Find your inner peace and always respect your partners’ feelings.
The worst thing you can do is make assumptions.
Every couple has their own issues that they need to solve. Whenever a painful change occurs, our first reaction is to assume what might happen.
But it’s unwise to jump to conclusions or allow your mind to create imaginary scenarios that might never happen.
If you let your negative thoughts and emotions take over you, you won’t have the strength to talk with your partner about the future of your relationship.
How to survive a long-distance relationship?
Being in a long-distance relationship is difficult, but it has its own surprises too. You have to have a lot of understanding and patience for your love to survive.
So here I’ve put together the most useful tips that can help you and your partner overcome this challenging period.
1. Enjoy your alone time
Once your boyfriend moves away to a different location, you might feel lonely and scared about what might happen next between the two of you.
Don’t let that fear stop you from living your best life. You’re not lonely unless you choose to feel that way.
You’re alone, but you had a life outside of your relationship anyway, am I right? Doing stuff that you want to do, even though you have a partner, is one of the pillars for a healthy relationship.
And truth be told, your world doesn’t revolve around your partner and neither does his around you.
You’re surrounded by awesome people who mean the world to you. You have your friends and family, so why shouldn’t you enjoy your alone time?
You can choose to spend it with your friends and family or on going out and enjoying your free time.
Hit the gym if you want to. Suggest to your friends that you go on a hiking trip together, or ask your sibling to join you in binge-watching Harry Potter or whatever else.
There are plenty of awesome things for you to do outside of your relationship.
I’m not saying that you should completely forget about your boyfriend, just that it’s not the end of the world for you if your boyfriend has moved away to another city.
2. Avoid any “dangerous” situations
If you and your boyfriend have already agreed that you or he shouldn’t go party every night with friends, then neither of you should do it.
And if your friends have invited you to a girl’s night out, then make sure that your boyfriend is okay with it first.
Reassure him that nothing will happen. Otherwise, he might suspect that you’re cheating on him.
Men don’t like to be in a position where they lack control and feel powerless.
And if you go out without telling him who you’re going with and where you’ll be, then he’ll be worried and upset that you might do something you shouldn’t.
Neither of you should ever put yourself in a dangerous position. Hiding the truth from your partner (however innocent at the time) will have a negative impact on your love.
And besides, even though you’re physically distant from each other, it doesn’t mean that your partner won’t find out the truth.
The most important factor in a long-distance relationship is trusting each other. Without it, the love that you have for each other will slowly fade away.
3. See this as an opportunity to grow together
Being apart from each other is tough, I get that, but you should view it as an opportunity for the both of you to grow together as a couple. Maybe God is testing the love you have for each other.
Don’t automatically assume that the distance will tear you two apart. Instead, believe that it will only strengthen the bond you two created.
A long-distance relationship is a true test of how much you love each other, but it’s also a great opportunity to get to know each other better if you didn’t have the chance before.
If both of you are ready to put in the effort to make it work, no distance in the world could drag you two apart. Love is the greatest force in this world.
4. Avoid communicating too much
It’s completely natural for you to miss your boyfriend if he’s moved away to another city.
At first, you’ll feel the urge to touch him even though you know you can’t. So, to satisfy your need, you might resort to video calling him just so you can see his face again.
But what if that doesn’t satisfy you enough? Should you call him again in an hour or two? Well, it would be unwise for you to be overly possessive now that he’s moved to a different location.
Being in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean that you have to communicate ten hours a day to keep your relationship alive.
If you think that you should compensate for the distance by doing more, you’re wrong about that. It could only worsen your situation because soon your boyfriend will feel pressured to call you every time he’s on the phone.
The worst mistake you can make is to be clingy-needy in this situation. Less is always more, so pick the right moment to tease him a bit and let him do the rest.
You’ll see that your relationship will only get better once you realize that you shouldn’t call or text him all the time.
5. Visit each other
Every long-distance relationship struggles with visits. They are the highlight of the relationship.
After all, you’ve been waiting all this time just so you can touch and kiss him. Even though these are pretty common things to other couples, they’re rather special and extra intimate for those who are in a long-distance relationship.
It just feels different seeing each other after so many weeks or months and you actually feel nervous and scared just like you did the first time you met him.
If you want your LDR to work out, you have to agree on when and where you’re going to see each other next time.
You must have understanding for each other’s duties and if you can’t go and visit him, then he should make the effort to come to you.
When you do have the opportunity to see each other again, I promise you, it will be like a fireworks show.
6. Know each other’s schedule
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it is important that you know when the other person is busy or free, so that you can plan to call or text each other at the right time.
You shouldn’t bother your boyfriend if he’s in the middle of a business meeting or just stepped into class.
Knowing when he has his meetings, trips, and exams is crucial for you because you can then plan when to see or hear from each other according to that schedule.
I know that it’s tough for you ever since he moved away to another city, but remember, it’s hard for him too. You have to keep in mind that he sacrificed many things to be there where he is now.
7. Surprise him with a gift
Giving something to your boyfriend before he leaves can keep the spark alive between the two of you. It could be a simple keychain, teddy bear, or a photo album.
People often give certain objects a meaning. They like when something reminds them of a certain someone.
It’s only natural for us to store our memories in physical things, hoping that once we hold them in our hands, it’ll help us be closer to the people we care about.
So why not surprise your boyfriend with a gift before he moves away? By doing so, he can always have something that he’ll remember you by.
Don’t underestimate the power of memory. Even something small as a ring can mean a lot to a person.
8. Remember to stay positive
I understand that it might be tough for you to look on the bright side of things, but you have to if you want to keep your sanity. If you want to keep your LDR alive, then you have to stay positive.
The fact that you have to wait so long just to touch and hug him hurts you, but remember that he’s going through the same emotions as you do. He also feels lonely and misses you.
But remember what you’re fighting for. Eventually, you’ll see each other again, it’s just a matter of time.
Be grateful for what you have and be thankful that you have someone in your life who loves you as much as he does.
Be thankful for those late-night calls or good morning messages that he sends you. Good things will come to those who are prepared to wait for them.
9. Work on your communication
Keep in mind that he’s always one phone call away from you. You can make an arrangement to greet each other with “good morning” and “good night” every day when you wake up and go to bed.
Some days might be boring and lame, but that doesn’t stop you from letting your partner know what’s going on in your life and its happenings.
If you think that your communication might get a little stale, then you can always spice things up by sending him a few selfies, emojis, or audio clips from time to time.
By showing him that you care about your relationship, you’ll prove to him that you still love him and that you’ll do anything you can to make it work. Now, it’s up to him to reciprocate.
10. Be honest with each other
The worst mistake you can make is to hide any negative emotions or thoughts from your partner and suppress them within yourself.
It’s dangerous to keep your partner in the dark regarding your feelings, and even more so when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
Talk to each other every day and be honest about the feelings you might have, be it jealousy, fear, or insecurity.
You’re in this together, remember? You’re not alone even if he’s miles away from you.
Don’t try to deal with those gruesome feelings all by yourself. If you need him to support you, then allow him to help you in any way he can.
It will only get worse as time passes if you try to hide anything from your partner.
And if you have a problem with your long-distance relationship, then share your thoughts with him. Indeed, some people can’t handle the distance and that’s completely fine.
Talk to him and figure out what’s best for both of you. It doesn’t matter that you’re miles apart, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with letting your partner know that you have an issue.
11. Have a goal in mind
What about your future? How long does he plan to stay? When is he coming back? Does he plan to come back, eventually? These are just a couple of questions that you have to ask when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
Even if you are miles apart, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way forever. Eventually, your boyfriend will decide that he needs to settle down.
That’s why you should have a goal in mind and make a plan with each other. You two have to be on the same page if you want your love to succeed.
Both of you need to be motivated to work together so that you can build a future that includes each other.
Being in a long-distance relationship requires a lot of understanding and sacrifice on both ends, but if you’re willing to put in the effort to make it work, there’s nothing that can tear you apart.
