How to be a high-value woman when he pulls away is as easy as breathing when you know what to do.
You met this guy that seems like an actually amazing man, so you let yourself develop a little crush on him.
Judging from his behavior, you thought that he liked you just as much as you liked him.
You went out on dates, you got to know each other, and you really thought that things were going in the right direction.
There is no denying the chemistry that was present whenever you two were together.
That’s why you let yourself believe that this wasn’t just another fling, but rather something that had potential. You wanted it to last for a while longer.
Then out of nowhere, things changed.
He’s stopped returning your phone calls, he’s ghosting you, and when you meet him on the street, he seems to have no trouble avoiding you.
Did you do something wrong? Did you have stinky breath? What could you have said or done that could’ve made him rethink his choice in dating you?
Maybe the issue isn’t even with you?
The only thing that you do know is that he is pulling away and you need to maintain your high value in the midst of it.
It’s hard when someone hurts you like this and you start believing that it’s your fault.
You start thinking that you must have deserved his cold shoulder.
On the other hand, what if the problem is with him?
How do you maintain high value when he pulls away and you know you’re not the one at fault for it?
3 most common reasons why men pull away
There are many different reasons why men decide to pull away when it just starts getting interesting.
Just when you thought that things were going just peachy, he makes you reconsider everything.
Were you so blind to believe that a man is interested in you?
No. Believe me when I tell you that you are not the problem.
Every single sign you saw and deciphered as interest confirmed that you weren’t delusional.
You saw those signs and you were right in believing he was interested. Just because he pulled away doesn’t mean that you were imagining things.
So why do guys pull away in the first place?
1. Things were moving too fast
How to be high value when he pulls away isn’t that hard when he does so because things were moving too fast.
He literally thought that you were too good for him and he wasn’t ready to admit it yet.
When things move too fast for a man, it’s mostly because he wanted something casual, something that would be over sooner rather than later.
So the moment he realizes that you were too good and things were moving in the direction of commitment, he gets cold feet.
Instead of talking to you about this and telling you that he doesn’t want something serious, he pulls away.
2. He’s just really not interested
For whatever reason, he lost interest and pulled away from you.
How to be high value when he pulls away is a question you can ask yourself only if you really value his opinion of you above your own.
And we both know you shouldn’t.
In the beginning, he saw something in you that drew him in and he shamelessly flirted with you.
After a while, he got to know you better and just realized you weren’t his type.
That has nothing to do with you. It’s just natural that he’ll pull away from someone who he doesn’t see himself in a relationship with.
Of course, the rational thing to do was to tell you straight up instead of pulling away without saying another word. But it is a valid reason.
3. It seems too easy
It’s true that men love to pursue women.
They simply love the chase, so a woman who doesn’t put up a fight (at least a little bit) isn’t really interesting to them.
It’s sad, but it’s true.
You probably seemed too eager to please and he lost interest quickly.
You should’ve given him a reason to fight for you rather than telling him how much you liked him right off the bat.
I know that you find these games to be childish and stupid, but men think of them as law. If you’re too eager, something must be wrong.
You probably had the best intentions. Games are something that you play with kids, not with grown men.
So you thought that you should be as direct with your intentions as possible.
He couldn’t wrap his head around that, so he pulled away instead.
11 ways to be high value when he pulls away
We don’t automatically know how to act and be women of high value from the moment we’re born.
It’s a skill that we need to acquire throughout life. Good thing that it’s never too late to learn this valuable skill and realize your own worth.
When a man pulls away, he probably has a good enough reason to do so. Because of his absence, it’s easy to feel as if you’ve done something wrong.
Whatever his reason is, if he doesn’t contact you in a few days to explain his behavior, then you need to respect yourself enough to let it go.
But the question is, what does that even entail? No one told you how to be a high-value woman when a man pulls away.
That’s why I’m here to help you out with this little issue and show you how to get your worth across to a man who walked out of your life without a second thought.
Don’t freak out, don’t start spamming his phone with messages, and don’t go banging on his door. No.
We need to be women of high value and that’s not how we do it. There are better things you could be doing.
1. Don’t question his behavior
I know that our first instinct is to question his behavior and figure out what went wrong.
But we’re not going to do that now.
If you message him asking for an explanation, he’s probably just going to roll his eyes and think that you’re too demanding. We don’t want that.
The reason doesn’t matter. You might think that I’m off my rocker for saying that, but believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t matter.
Being high value when he pulls away doesn’t entail you going after him to demand an explanation.
Keep your cool. Keep calm and show him that you aren’t affected by his absence.
Even if it does hurt you, eventually it’ll go away and you’ll feel better again. Let him come to you first.
2. Take some time to reflect
Many relationships have been destroyed simply because we assumed things about the people we were dating.
We assume the worst and start being awful toward our partner, or we assume the best and give them more chances than they deserve.
When you take some time to reflect on your encounters, you might see what’s actually going on.
Did he mention a close deadline for a project that was very important to him?
Did he mention, at any point, that he wasn’t interested in something serious?
Just because you want to forget certain things, doesn’t mean that they didn’t happen.
Because of that, we need to understand how important reflecting on the situation actually is. You have to understand what he was trying to tell you.
One way to be high value when he pulls away is to realize that you can’t assume things about someone.
What you thought to be him pulling away could just be some time apart so he can finish whatever important things he’s got going on.
3. Don’t pursue him
As stated before, men love the chase. They love knowing that they’re in charge of the situation.
You shouldn’t be the one to pursue him if you want to be high value when he pulls away.
Running after him, messaging him, showing up at places where you know he’ll be – it all just shows your desperation and doesn’t say much about your worth.
It makes it seem like you have very low self-esteem and need his validation.
I know that it can be really hard to deal with the radio silence and not go after him.
You want an explanation just as much as you want him to see what he’s losing.
But that’s not how you’ll get his attention or get him interested in you again.
You’re just wasting precious time and energy you could be spending on yourself.
4. Take care of your appearance
I’d really love to put this one aside and tell you that your appearance doesn’t matter to him.
But we’re here to be realistic, so we’re going to start by admitting that men are visual creatures.
They love visual stimulation, so how’s he going to know what he’s missing out on if you have to make him regret his decision from afar?
The only option left is to take care of your appearance to make him watch without being able to touch you or talk to you.
He’ll come to you the very moment he sees how absolutely beautiful you are.
Even if you were putting a lot of effort into your appearance before, just continue what you were doing.
It’ll make you feel good – and that’s what matters the most at the end of the day.
Granted, being high value when he pulls away isn’t all about how you look, but it can make you feel more confident.
You’re a queen and you deserve to look the part.
5. Focus on yourself and your life
Okay, yes, he’s an amazing man who you’re really into. You like him enough to feel his absence in your life.
But let’s get one thing out of the way: He’s just a man.
There are others out there and that should be enough reassurance for you to be able to focus on yourself.
You can’t put your life on hold just because a man is ghosting you at the moment.
Don’t forget to treat yourself well. Start a new project, go back to that hobby you really enjoyed.
Putting your life on hold for a man like him isn’t going to do you any good. Instead, focus on yourself and make things amazing for yourself.
The best thing about it is that when you focus on your own life, you forget all about that one man who couldn’t bother texting you back.
Go out with your girlfriends, have fun, and flirt with strangers.
Why sit around and wait for him to realize what he’s lost when he chose to pull away from you?
Being high value when he pulls away doesn’t mean you need to pretend to be of high value. No, you have to live that truth.
When you think that it’s hard, just remember that he was nothing more than the cherry on top of your already delicious life.
6. Go on other dates
What? He’s pulling away from you, ghosting you, pretending like you don’t exist – so now you’re going celibate?
Let’s not go to extremes, even though you want to be dramatic just to show him how much you’re affected.
That’s not how you’ll get him interested again at all.
What he needs to see is that you’re completely and utterly unaffected by his lack of attention.
And what better way to do that than to continue your life like nothing ever happened?
You need to get out on the dating scene again, just like you did before things went wrong with him.
In order to understand how to be high value when he pulls away, you need to recognize your own value and embrace it.
One way to do so is to go on other dates and stop feeling like you’re obligated to wait for him.
Go out and flirt shamelessly.
You’ll find someone who’ll give you the same energy in return and show you that moping over someone who doesn’t see your beauty isn’t even worth the effort.
7. Change up your daily routine
If you’re someone who doesn’t open up to other men that easily and can’t just quickly dive back into the dating scene, maybe it’s better to start slow.
Start with changing up your daily routine. Change up the little things that you do each day to spend less time pining over him.
Instead of drinking your coffee at home each morning, get one to go, and go to a park and read a book while you’re at it.
Instead of spending each night alone at home, get together with friends and have a movie night every once in a while.
Little things like these can make you realize how easy it is to stop thinking of someone who’s not interested in you.
These things will also help you to stop looking at your phone, waiting for him to text you back, which is a lot of your precious time wasted.
You don’t need to waste your time on him.
And when he does text you, let it come as a surprise and not as something you’ve waited to happen for days, maybe even weeks.
8. Be secure in your own worth
The most important thing you need to learn in order to be high-value is that no one can diminish your worth.
Just because a man isn’t able to see how worthy of love and affection you are doesn’t mean that you’re automatically worth less.
You need to be secure in your own worth if you really want to understand how to be high value when he pulls away.
No one – especially not a man – should be allowed to question it.
You are worthy of love, affection, attention, and all the care in this world. Sure, he pulled away and it hurts.
But that doesn’t imply that there isn’t someone out there who will love you for the incredible woman you are.
This also means that you need to find your worth when it’s not attached to the attention of a man.
Find your own value when no one is watching and be secure in what you’ve discovered.
9. Play a little game
So, what should you do when he texts you after pulling back? You want to jump out of your skin from excitement, but you know better than that.
Instead of seeming too eager for his attention, be the one to play little petty games for a bit.
If he has the liberty to disappear without saying anything, then you might as well do the same.
Pretend you’re not interested. If he asks you to hang out again after so much time apart, tell him that you have other plans.
Of course, you can ask him why he hasn’t been texting or calling you, but you might as well pretend like you couldn’t care less.
He doesn’t need to see how much it affected you. Believe me when I tell you that it’ll drive him crazy if you act like you haven’t noticed his absence.
You can now be the one to pull away to give him a dose of his own medicine.
The only problem is that he might just walk away from you completely, believing that you’re not interested at all.
That’s why it’s important to balance it out in a way where you’re still the one on top. Besides, a little game is sometimes so sweet to play.
10. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is extremely important when it comes to healthy relationships.
Okay, he pulled away without so much as a word, leaving with so many unanswered questions.
But he might have shown you that he’s worth your while, yet you didn’t set any boundaries.
If you don’t communicate your wants and needs, he can’t read your mind.
This also means that you need to let him go completely if he doesn’t want to fulfill your needs or listen to your boundaries.
You are someone who wants their partner to be available or at least communicate that they won’t be available.
Let him know that! You can’t expect him to understand it unless you tell him.
Try your best to set these boundaries, and talk to him about them so you don’t end up having these same issues over and over again.
If your needs and boundaries aren’t compatible, you’re better off not talking to each other at all. That’s the undeniable truth.
11. If you want to reach out to him, do this
You can’t wait forever, right? Of course, the best thing you can do is wait for him to reach out to you first.
You shouldn’t be the one to reach out to him, but sometimes it’s just like an itch that needs to be scratched.
That’s why I’ll tell you that it’s okay to send him one text message.
But don’t go showing up at his office or spamming his phone with calls simply because he hasn’t replied to you in five days.
The other thing is that he could also have a valid explanation but he just forgot to text you.
So what you’re going to do is send him one simple text message:
“Hey, I was just wondering if everything was alright? I haven’t heard from you in a while and just thought to check in.”
A simple text that makes you appear concerned and polite at the same time.
You’re not demanding his attention with this message, but rather indirectly asking for an explanation.
You’re letting him know what he’s done without being overbearing.
What do you do if he doesn’t reply at all?
Nothing. What else are you supposed to do?
Do you want to become a creepy stalker and go after him just because he doesn’t return your feelings?
No, you’re not doing that.
Being high-value when he pulls away is easy when you know that you need to respect yourself.
When a man doesn’t care enough to give you his time and effort, then you shouldn’t be all over him.
If he ignores the message you sent him, then you have your answer: This man really doesn’t care enough about you.
If you want to be a high-value woman, then you might as well start acting like one right now and block him.
You deserve better than that.