People always say that a private life is a happy life.
A life that’s kept on the low is always the most interesting one from the sidelines because people don’t know much about you or the things you do in life. They can only guess what you’ve been up to and what you’re doing.
You, on the other hand, won’t have any type of issue with the outside world.
Just remember how exhausting it is to be part of this society that has nothing better to do but to always stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. They keep telling you what you should do and how you should do it. Everyone seems to know better than you, especially when it comes to the issues you have in your life.
Most people don’t even have an off button. They continue asking so many inappropriate questions, you’re left dumbfounded at the audacity!
There’s only one conclusion that we can make: Nothing good will ever come out of everyone being in your business.
There’s so much power in retaining a little bit of mystery to your name. What other people don’t know, they can’t ruin.
You may not understand the actual reasons you should keep things on the low. With social media on a constant rise, people share everything. You’re tempted to do the same!
But it’s so much better if you choose against it. In this article, I will describe to you why and how.
Why a private life is a happy life
1. People can’t gossip about you
A happy life really is one that stays private for as long as possible. When you put everything out there for the world to see, you’re always involved in some type of drama.
If you have a problem or a minor issue, people exaggerate the importance of it.
We won’t sit here and pretend like none of us ever perk up our own ears at some juicy gossip, but you could be the topic of their awful stories one day. People could just as easily talk about you and make up stories about you.
Do you genuinely think that people won’t believe every word that goes around your neighborhood? They’re just waiting for something to be said about you so that they can thrive with their own insecurities.
That can’t happen if you continue to keep hidden from the public eye. There won’t have any tea to spill about you. Isn’t that what we’re all aiming to achieve in our lives?
2. You’re not looking for the affirmation of others
Insecure people are in constant need of affirmation from others. They seek others’ valued opinions and can’t continue with their lives if someone has something bad to say.
You can probably guess that’s because they’re so extremely insecure in the decisions they make, as well as in themselves.
Those people post everything online so that they can get a like or a positive comment. But the minute they get some type of negative criticism, their entire world crashes.
If anything, a private life is a happy life because there’s no need for compliments from others. You don’t need someone to tell you that you’re living a beautiful life. They also can’t tell you that your life is horrendous.
You live for yourself and for the people closest to you. Why would you need the affirmation of hundreds of followers on Instagram if you’re just another girl on that app to them? There’s no meaning behind their compliments because they don’t know you at all.
The same can’t be said about the people who are the closest to you. They’re part of your small inner circle and you can always count on them. They’re there for you.
3. It’s easier to make decisions for yourself
If your life isn’t private, then there’s no way for you to not care about the opinions of others before you make any major decision. You know things will be all over social media and that there’s no way for you to escape their judgment.
For example, if you’re trying to change majors and everyone knew that you were studying, let’s say, biology. If you want to change that, everyone’s going to assume something went wrong before they even talk to you about it.
Another thing that people always can’t wait to see is that you’ve broken up with your boyfriend. That’s when everyone’s at your tail to find out what happened.
Even if you’ve wanted to break up with him for a while now, you’re constantly thinking about the immediate reaction of all the people who know that you two were together.
That’s such an awful thing to always have to consider before making any type of decision for yourself.
For that exact reason, you’ll have to keep your life private. Why does anyone have to know what’s going on in your life? Why do they have to know that you were in a relationship in the first place?
I mean, that’s a bit extreme, but you get where I’m going. No one has to know that you’ve reconsidered your relationship and that you’re not back together after a little break.
You know just as well as I do that those people won’t be able to hold themselves back from constantly asking about what happened. Then you’ll have to justify your actions. You don’t have to do that.
4. You connect to people on a deeper level
Keeping your life private means that you surround yourself with a small number of people.
Those who thrive on exposing everything to the public are the same who have tons of people around them, but not close to any of them. There are no deep connections between them.
You can have the opposite of that. You know it’s better to have one good friend than a bunch of acquaintances. It’s fun to have people that you can go out with to parties and live it up, but at the end of the day, it’s almost always better to have genuine friendships that are filled with understanding and empathy.
When you keep everything on the low you’ll see that only the most generous and loving people will stick around. They’re not friends with you for the social media exposure, they want to spend time loving you for the person that you are when no one’s watching.
No one wants to be friends with a girl who’s always taking pictures when she’s out.
5. Moving on is so much easier
If you’re still thinking about how a private life can be a happy life, well, this reason may convince you of how true this actually is.
How many times have you had to relive your breakup because people were at your throat asking for all the gory details they can get from you? How many times have you had to hide from those curious stares when you walk through your town all by yourself?
People love to inject themselves into situations that have nothing to do with them. Especially if they can make a huge deal about it.
Can you imagine how peaceful a breakup would be if you kept the entire relationship private from the very beginning? People wouldn’t even know what to ask if they did find out that you were in a relationship.
Moving on from heartbreak would be a whole lot easier if you could simply avoid talking to anyone besides the people you love the most in your life. Those people will be there for you unconditionally, but those who probe for the sake of probing have nothing good to contribute in these vulnerable moments.
6. People trust you with their secrets
When you know someone thrives on the attention of others, do you tell them your secrets? Do you confide in them about your deepest and darkest insecurities?
Of course not. You know they’ll tweet about it or blab it to anyone who lends them an ear.
You’ll know that a private life is a happy one when people around you completely trust you with what’s happening in their lives. They know you won’t tell anyone and will try your best to maintain their trust.
Someone who doesn’t care what others think about them won’t just share secrets they know to earn someone’s approval. That’s something that you should never do. Your life and the life of those closest to you aren’t there to be talked about at every available opportunity.
Keep those things to yourself. No one has to know. Just because you feel like you’ll get a tap on the back for gossiping about something doesn’t mean that you should actually do it.
7. You’re always safe
One thing that people don’t realize is just how much online information there is out there. They tag their location when posting a photo or post about the place they work at. Things like that seem quite insignificant for now, but at one point or another, they could become very important.
Do you know how many women out there have stalkers on their necks just trying to get more intel on their whereabouts? Do you know how many people have issues because they didn’t think before they posted something?
Keeping your private life to yourself and always making sure that you’re not posting everything online will definitely help to keep yourself safe.
Especially if you’re someone who just got out of an abusive relationship. You know just as well as I do, men who are prepared to abuse a woman are prepared to do so many more things. He doesn’t have to try hard to know what you’re doing if you’re posting everything online.
He just has to look you up from his fake account and he’ll be right there, knocking on the door of your new apartment.
8. Your employers can’t find anything
Another good thing that comes with keeping your life private is that your employers can’t find anything on you. It can help your career enormously.
Every time you apply for a job, your employers will look you up online to see what info they can gather. Do you think that it’ll be a good thing if they can find every little dirty secret that’s on there?
I don’t believe you want people of their importance to find out everything you did in your college days, as well as all the parties you go to every single weekend.
You can do all of that, of course, but by keeping those things private, you’ll be happier with your life. Your employers will only see the things that they need to in order to realize you’re the right person for the job. Your online presence won’t sabotage your chances of getting your rightful place at the company.
How to make your life private and happy
Are you finally convinced that you need to keep your private life away from the public eye in order to be happy? You can have fewer worries in your life just by making sure that only a few people know everything that’s going on with you.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about how you can lead a life behind the scenes so that no one has to know your every move. It may sound like I’m taking away all of your fun, but these things aren’t really as much fun as you think they are.
In order for you to lead a happy life without any drama attached to your name, there are only a few things you need to do.
1. Stop sharing everything on social media
I know that you’re super tempted to do this. You want everyone to know all about the good parts of your life and see that you’re thriving.
You can’t handle seeing the lives of others all over your feed, while you’re keeping those amazing photos on your phone.
But no one’s telling you that you can’t post pictures in order to lead a happy and private life. You can post about all the things that you’re proud of and still keep some things to yourself.
Sure, you can definitely post things here and there. But don’t go and post pictures of your boyfriend at every chance you get. Keep some of the happiness to yourself.
Also, stop posting your location. I’m not even kidding on you on this one – you could get into serious trouble because of it.
So, instead of posting about anything and everything that’s happening to you, make sure to share when something genuinely exciting is going on in your life.
Another thing that you could do is keep a private account and decide who you want to allow access to your profile to see your photos. This way you have full control over who sees your posts. That’s the best thing you can do to assure that you’re safe.
2. Be the one to take the pictures, instead of the one who’s in every picture
This one might sound silly, but hear me out.
Do you always jump into the frame whenever someone’s taking a snapshot? Are you in every group photo your friends always post? Well, you see, in those situations, people know a lot more about you than you want them to.
They can easily see your location, your friend group, as well as your status in that group. Let’s not assume that everyone’s an awful person, but you know just as well as I do that someone can and will misuse that information.
They’ll want to get under your skin.
The best way to avoid this is to always stand behind the camera. You don’t have to always do this – there are memories that you want to be a part of – but don’t jump your way through the crowd to get into the middle of the picture.
Be calm and collected. There’s no reason for you to be in every single photo just to convince people that you have a social life or that you’re adventurous.
You’ll be so much happier if you decide to keep these things to yourself. If your friends need you in every picture to remember that you were there at all, then are they really your friends?
3. Realize that people don’t have to know everything about you
More often than not, we overshare things that we shouldn’t. Especially when we first meet someone.
For some reason, it’s so much easier to put some burden on a person when they still have no perception of us. We’re all guilty of oversharing to someone we’ve just met.
That person asks just one good question and we go for it! Isn’t that what happens? You completely forget that you probably shouldn’t tell these things to people.
This also happens when you know something that the person sitting next to you would find juicy. Those things can be something about a person they hate and you have that intel in your back pocket.
You could definitely use that to gain some affirmation from this person. But let’s be honest, you don’t need that.
Never tell people everything that you know. Nor should you tell them everything about yourself.
There are boundaries that you should never cross no matter how much you want to spill the beans to that person. You’ll stay safer and calmer this way.
Know that you can’t expect others to respect you and keep your secrets safe. They’ll use everything they have to attack you or to spread rumors that you may not want.
So, keep quiet. Tell people only as much as you believe won’t impact your life in any way.
4. Don’t kiss and tell
There’s nothing worse than when you deliberately out yourself and the men you’ve been with.
They don’t say that a private life is a happy life for no reason. People hold on to that statement because it reminds them how easily things can be ruined if they don’t keep their mouths shut.
And that’s what you need to do too when it comes to your dates and the men you’ve seen in the past.
If you’re the type of person who likes to date a lot, especially to have a wild night with them, then you need to keep that on the down-low. Don’t just go around telling people out of a need for compliments. They don’t need to know.
I would love to tell you that we, as a society, have stopped hating on free-spirited women who are in tune with their bodies, but we’re not. People will judge you for it and they’ll continue to hate on you for no reason other than their closed minds.
You can’t expect everyone to understand.
Besides that, people can’t wait to go blabbing about this to their friends. Your secrets can only be safe with the people you trust the most. That should be a very small circle of friends.
As you know, a lady never tells. So don’t kiss and tell. Besides, keeping it a secret could be even more exciting.
5. Pick your friends wisely
At the end of the day, there’s one important thing that we can learn from this entire article and that’s that you need to pick your friends wisely.
You’ll be surrounded by loads of people on a daily basis. But those who are worth your time will show you that they’re loyal on repeated occasions. They’ll always lend you a hand when you need it.
You can pick people for different things. For example, you have those crazy girls who love to party and you sure have a blast with them! But if you feel like they’ll use everything they know about you against you, then you shouldn’t risk talking to them about anything meaningful.
At the end of the day, a private life is a happy life. So now, pick who you want to surround yourself with before you regret it later on.