How To Ignore Your Boyfriend To Teach Him A Lesson

The ignoring game
By Zoella Woods
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Recently, you feel like your partner hasn’t been treating you right. Maybe he’s been giving you the silent treatment, disregarding you, or hasn’t been spending time with you at all. So now you’ve reached the stage where you want to know how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson.

You don’t want to break up with him, but you do want him to see that he needs to change his behavior. Right now, he’s making it hard for you to believe that he’s your actual true love, and you don’t want to feel that way.

You deserve to be treated with respect, not taken for granted. And maybe right now, that’s exactly how you’re feeling.

You’re not a fan of playing mind games with a partner, but you also want to make sure that he knows his behavior isn’t acceptable. 

That’s exactly why you landed up here – to figure out what you could do to teach him a lesson. So, let’s dive into all of the options you’ve got.

How to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson

You can take many different approaches to ignore your boyfriend for the purpose of teaching him a lesson. Some can end up being too extreme and start to feel as if you’re ghosting him.

That’s why it’s important to know what you’re doing without taking things too far.

Most women tend to overdo the ignoring game. Then, when they cross that line, they wonder what went wrong.

So, if you don’t want to be that one, here are some rules you should follow. The most important thing is to know when it’s time to stop so you don’t end up losing your partner completely.

1. Rearrange your priorities

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When you’re trying to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, the first thing you can do is rearrange your priorities.

If you’ve always put him first, now is your time to slightly change that. It’s time to show him how it feels to have to fight for your attention.

Instead of dropping everything just so you can be with him, let him know you’re busy. Let him miss your presence for a change, because that’s the only thing that’ll make him realize how a life without you looks.

The first time you reject his invitation, it will feel like the hardest thing ever. But you must remind yourself that this is the only way he’ll realize your value.

In order not to think about him all the time while you’re putting him on hold, shift your focus to other things that make you happy.

Maybe you’ve never had enough time to finish your favorite book since you kept putting it down to be at his every beck and call. This is your opportunity to enjoy it with a cup of coffee, without any interruptions.

Now you have a chance to redirect your energy to all of the things you’ve been neglecting for the sake of your relationship. It’s time to put your other passions first and let your partner see you’re done being always there for him at the expense of your happiness.

If he doesn’t treat you right, then you’ll give him the same in return.

2. Subtly change your body language

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Another good way to teach your boyfriend a lesson through ignoring him is to change your body language. I’m talking about those slight changes that will make it obvious to him you’re keeping him at distance for a certain period of time.

If you’re used to constantly hugging him and giving him a kiss every time you depart, this is your time to do things differently.

When you meet up with him, don’t give him a hug. If he reaches out to hold your hand, let him know you’re not in the mood for that. And when he tries to kiss you, turn your head so he gets to only give a peck on the cheek.

These slight changes of behavior will act like red flags to him. He’ll realize something’s off and then try to get to the bottom of it.

This may make him chase harder after you or encourage him to have a serious talk with you.

Getting a taste of his own medicine will certainly feel uncomfortable, but it’s one of the most effective ways to get him to react. Maybe he thought that not putting you first for a while was no big deal. But once he gets an idea of how it feels, he’ll then realize his mistakes.

3. Reduce the communication

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Communication is what keeps the relationship strong. As soon as there’s a change in the way you communicate, your boyfriend will realize that something’s wrong.

So, if you want to ignore him to teach him a lesson, you can always do that by reducing talk time.

Stop sending him texts and don’t even think about being the first one to call. Also, start cutting back on touching base with him through social media or by liking everything he posts.

Even though you love him, you can’t always be the one who saves the relationship. He must realize that he should put in some effort as well.

A relationship is a two-way street and if he’s not willing to cooperate, then he must know he may end up losing you. When you pull away, he should see that as a warning sign that he must react and do something before it’s too late and you’re gone.

It’s a lesson he must learn after he hasn’t treated you right for some time.

If he’s really as in love with you as he says, then he’ll realize you haven’t been reaching out to him as much as usual. He’ll feel that something’s up and show a willingness to fix things.

And that’s how you ignore him the right way so he learns his lesson.

4. Pay more attention to your male friends

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Besides ignoring him by communicating less and slightly altering your behavior, you can also teach your boyfriend a lesson by paying more attention to your male friends.

Even though they hate to admit it, guys get incredibly jealous once they fall in love. They can’t stand the idea that some other man is talking to their girlfriend.

Their hero instinct kicks in and they do their best to show everyone around them that their girl is only theirs. No one else should even think about flirting with her because she’s taken.

So, when you pay more attention to your male friends, your boyfriend will start turning green-eyed. He’ll notice how you’ve been hanging out with your guy friends much more than usual and how much fun you’re having around them.

That’s when he’ll get scared to lose you and consequently put more effort into your relationship.

It’s a well-known fact that we all fight our hardest for people who mean the most to us once we realize they’re slipping away. This is exactly what will happen if you start spending more time around your male friends who feel like a threat to your boyfriend.

5. Live your best life

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We all know we should never ignore our own lives just because we’re in a relationship, but sometimes it happens and we unintentionally start doing it.

You focus all of your time and energy on your relationship and forget about all those who were there for you before you had a boyfriend.

Well, this is your chance to change that. Plus, it’s a great opportunity to ignore your boyfriend for a while so you can teach him a lesson.

Instead of spending your days with him, invite your bestie out and go on a clubbing spree with her. Have fun dancing and enjoying life like in the good old days.

Spend some time with your family if you haven’t seen them for a while. Go on a trip with your siblings and soak up every second of it.

Do all of the things you wanted to do for a long time but never had enough time for. Now is the perfect chance to enjoy your life and to remember that your relationship isn’t the only thing that matters.

There are many other ways to make yourself happy and you shouldn’t ignore them just because of your partner.

6. Stop taking the initiative

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How to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson? Well, you can try giving up on being the first one to initiate hanging out. At least until he realizes he’s made a mistake by not treating you right.

Maybe he’s used to letting you be the one who calls and texts all the time. He’s used to the fact that you always plan dates and pick the nights to go out.

But since he hasn’t treated you right in the first place, then you have every right to hit the break.

It’s easy to say “I love you,” but you also need him to show you through actions that he cares about you. And he hasn’t been doing that lately.

So, this is your chance to let him know he has to take the initiative if he wants the relationship to work. You can’t be the only one putting in effort while he’s not lifting a finger.

The time has come for him to do something or he might lose you. It’s up to him to make a choice.

Pros and cons of ignoring your boyfriend to teach him a lesson

If you’re thinking about using these above-mentioned techniques to teach your boyfriend a lesson, then you also need to know that they all come with risks.

Like with everything in life, ignoring your boyfriend has both its pros and cons. So, before you choose to do it, you must be aware of all of the possible consequences.

1. If he truly likes you, he won’t be able to stand this treatment

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If you ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, there’s a chance he’ll do something about it and change his behavior because he can’t stand the cold shoulder treatment. It pains him to see that the person he loves the most can easily change the way she treats him.

This will push him to talk to you and encourage him to look for the underlying reason behind your change. So, this change of your relationship dynamic will spring him into action.

Once he realizes he’s been the cause of the issue, he’ll do whatever it takes to change things. He’ll give you a million reasons to stay with him and grant him another chance since he doesn’t want to lose you.

In this case, your method will work and it will push him to put in some effort and make the relationship better than at the start.

2. He’ll kick into chase mode

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The good thing is that pretty much every man naturally loves to chase. He loves the challenge of fighting for a woman and proving to her that he’s what she needs in life.

This is exactly why ignoring your boyfriend works so well when aiming to teach him a lesson – since men are crazy about the pursuit.

The idea that you’re pulling away from him will only make him want you even more. It will make him do things he usually never does because he can’t stand the fact that you’re ignoring him.

But then again, you have to be careful as you don’t want to give him the wrong impression. You don’t want to ignore him completely so he assumes you no longer care about him and you want to end the relationship.

That’s why it’s important to give him the treatment that makes him realize he made a mistake, yet you’re still willing to give him a chance to fix it.

3. He’ll fail to take the hint

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One of the downsides of ignoring your boyfriend to teach him a lesson is the fact that you may not end up solving anything by it.

Instead of figuring out the solution for your problem, you’ll reduce the communication without any results. He probably won’t know why you’re acting the way you are and since you’re not telling him anything, he’ll have no idea what to change.

All that’ll happen is that you stop talking to each other while the issues you have keep accumulating.

Don’t get me wrong, he’ll realize that you’re upset at him, but he’ll have no idea why. And since you don’t want to express your reasons, he’ll keep acting the same way as usual.

In this case, you won’t teach him a lesson. If anything, the situation may only get progressively worse.

4. He’ll feel like you’re manipulating him

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When a guy realizes he’s being ignored on purpose, he may feel that you’re manipulating him. It all starts to seem like a game you’re playing with him and he doesn’t like that.

In this case, he deliberately doesn’t want to change his behavior purely because he knows that’s what you want. And if you’re not willing to work on issues maturely, then he doesn’t want to either.

As you can see, this behavior can create a boomerang effect. Instead of solving the problem, it can all backfire on you and turn out even worse than before.

No one likes to be manipulated into something and your partner isn’t any different. He wants to make sure his girlfriend is dealing with relationship problems the right way and not by ignoring him.

If you still decide to go down this road, you have to know what may wait for you at the finishing line. Don’t be surprised if you see him playing the same game as you once he realizes you tried to manipulate him into changing his behavior.

5. It doesn’t tell him what he’s doing wrong

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Another downside of ignoring your boyfriend to teach him a lesson is the fact that he won’t have any idea of what he did wrong. As long as you’re not verbalizing the issues, he won’t have a clue on what to do differently.

I understand that you want him to realize his mistakes on his own. But at the same time, it’s almost impossible to teach him a lesson if he doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing wrong.

And if he doesn’t have a clue that you’re angry at him, he may simply assume you’re facing some life issues and that’s why you’re not yourself.

As a result, he won’t even bother changing his behavior when he has no idea he made a mistake in the first place. So, you’ll keep being upset and he’ll keep acting the same way.

Over time, you’ll keep going in a vicious circle that’s hard to get out of. And the more upset you feel, the harder it will be to keep the relationship going.

When you ignore a boyfriend in order to teach him a lesson and then this happens, it’s obvious that things won’t turn out the way you intended them to.

So, before you actually go down the path of ignoring your partner, you should consider all of the possible outcomes. Only after that can you decide if you’re ready to take that step. 

What alternative is there to teach him a lesson?

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I know that you want to know how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson. But maybe you would feel happier if you knew a different approach to get him to see where he went wrong.

What can help your relationship thrive? What will make your partner recognize and fix the mistakes he’s been making?

Believe it or not, there’s something that works better than ignoring. It makes your partner want to change for the sake of your relationship.

Are you still wondering what this miracle is that will solve all of the issues you’re currently working on?

Communication

If your boyfriend hasn’t been treating you right, there’s one thing you should do – talk to him.

The best solution for any relationship problem is an honest conversation. It’s the only medicine for the issues you’ve been going through.

When you share your feelings with your boyfriend and let him know how his behavior has been making you feel, he gets a chance to understand what you’re going through.

After that, you know that his consequent behavior reveals how he actually feels about you.

If he truly loves you, he’ll want to change for the better. He’ll want to be the reason for a smile on your face all the time.

But if his feelings are fake and he’s not willing to work on a relationship, then you’ll at least know where you stand. You’ll know that your relationship was doomed to fail from the start and there’s nothing you could do to change that.

In this case, it will be easier to let go of him, if that’s what actually needs to be done. Since you already shared your feelings with him, you’ll know that you did whatever your could to save the relationship.

You can’t pressure him to do something he doesn’t want to, so maybe it’s better to leave him than to allow him to continue treating you poorly.

Ignoring him might end up being useless. If anything, you may only end up hurting even more.

But once you open up and tell him what’s bothering you, you’ll know you did your part. And if he doesn’t want to participate in finding the solution then it’s his problem and not yours.

Now that you know how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, you first must be aware of where that road could take you. If you can deal with the consequences, then feel free to do what you think is best for you.

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