Think aloud
Are you trying to write a letter to tell someone they hurt you, but struggling to find the words? The pain is there but it feels impossible to put it down on paper.
The moment you try to verbalize it, those powerful emotions they made you feel well up inside of you and you end up with nothing other than a list of random sad words.
Your goal is to show the person who hurt you how much pain you went through, but right now, that feels impossible. You simply have no idea how to express yourself so that they know just how deeply they hurt you.
You’ve picked up the pen numerous times and given your best to finally write a sincere letter. You’ve wiped the tears streaming down your face while trying to recollect all of the experiences you went through that broke you in the end.
But no matter how many times you’ve pushed yourself to let it all out, words aren’t your friends.
So, you looked for help online and stumbled upon this article. Good for you!
Here, you’ll be able to find three examples of letters for those who usually bring the most damage to our lives: partners, friends, and family members.
If any of these people hurt your feelings in a bad way and made you feel like you’re not the same person anymore, then these letters can help you tell him that. They will make it easier for you to express your feelings or you can always use them as they are to effectively tell someone that they really hurt you.
Sample letters to tell someone they hurt you
A part of you feels this need to let that one person know how much damage they inflicted on you. You want to express every single emotion you went through after they decided to play with your heart.
Since you won’t be able to move on until you get these words off your chest, I encourage you to keep on reading. These examples may help you with expressing your emotions, and eventually letting go.
Let’s start!
1. A letter to your ex-boyfriend
To the guy who broke me into pieces,
Some time has passed and I still can’t move on after all the things you did and said to me. Even now as I sit down to write this letter to tell that special someone who hurt me just how much they hurt me, tears are still running down my face.
My friends would probably tell me that I shouldn’t let you know I’m still suffering. I shouldn’t let you know how much control you still have over me.
But this time, I’ll stay true to my feelings and I’ll let myself be completely honest with you. I’ll tell you about all the things you did to me throughout our relationship. I choose to not stay silent.
My goal is to show you how bad your behavior toward me was so you can work on yourself and change for the next girl who comes into your life. If writing this letter with complete honesty can help save some woman’s heart, then I’ll call that a success.
From the very beginning, everyone around me kept telling me you’d break my heart. But as a woman who fell in love, I didn’t want to listen to their words.
I thought they were jealous of my happiness and I kept walking by your side even though you already started showing me that you weren’t the guy I pictured in my head.
But I obsessively kept finding explanations for every bad behavior you presented to me. There was always something to pull you up while your real personality made you sink.
Instead of admitting to myself that you were lying to me, I lived in denial that others were lying about you. I kept blaming the world around us for your actions until one day I woke up from the dream I was living in.
Even though you kept hurting me, I still thought you were the man I was meant to end up with. I couldn’t imagine my future with anyone else besides you.
You were my moon and all of my stars. I let you guide me through life, meanwhile, you were taking me into my own despair.
While I blindly followed you, you decided to play with my feelings. While you were the only thing on my mind, you kissed the lips of other girls.
That sinking feeling of betrayal when I saw you with someone else still keeps me awake at night. It’s one of the worst memories forever etched in my mind. And unfortunately, it’s the thing that won’t ever let me fully trust anyone else.
I loved you with every part of me. There were no restrictions; I simply gave all of my love to you.
Sometimes, it meant that I didn’t love myself properly, but as long as you were happy, I felt satisfied too.
But then, you crushed my heart into pieces and made it clear that you were never that guy I made you out to be. You were a cheater from the start and there was nothing I could do to change that.
Right now, I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to love someone the way I loved you. Partly because I’m scared of love and partly because I gave my all to you.
Then, instead of love, all I felt was pain. And I don’t want to go through that same experience ever again.
Now, before I fall asleep, there’s only one thing I pray for. I beg God to save me from men like you and to never let me feel the same ray of emotions. I constantly ask him to help me stay away from guys whose feelings aren’t real and who don’t think it’s bad to cheat on a woman who’s willing to give them her heart and soul.
One day, I’ll finally be able to let go of the bad experience you put me through. I’ll finally be able to forget about you completely and give my love to someone who deserves it.
In the meantime, I can only hope you’ll never put anyone else through the same pain I had to go through. I pray that no other woman will ever have to feel the terror of having her heart broken by the person who means the most to her.
By hurting me, you taught me a valuable lesson: We never know what’s hiding behind the mask. Now, I cautiously let people into my life as I don’t want to get burned by betrayal ever again.
I hope that one day, you’ll realize how much pain you inflicted and you’ll at least feel sorry for it. But even if you do, don’t even think about apologizing as our communication ends completely with this letter.
From now on, you won’t hear from me as these words are my closure.
Sincerely,
The one you told you love, but only so she can suffer even more when she sees you cheating
2. A letter to an ex-friend
Dear used-to-be-best friend,
Who would’ve thought that I would be writing a letter to you only to tell you how much you hurt me. This realization makes tears fall down my face, but I guess we never know what others are ready for.
From the moment you lent me a pen back in high school, we became inseparable. I remember how much fun we had together and how you turned every gloomy day into one filled with sunshine.
You truly were my best friend, the sister I never had. To this day, I still remember how people called us “PB and Jelly” since we were always together.
You taught me how to play guitar and I taught you how to rollerblade. While you were the one in charge of the good movies I had to watch, I was the one making a list of books to read.
Together, we were capable of going through every experience life would put us through. At least that’s what I thought.
In the end, I was the only one who was real about our friendship. While I defended you behind your back, you chose to stab a knife in mine thinking it wouldn’t hurt much.
I guess that I was the only one who knew the importance of loyalty in friendship. I was the only one who knew you’re supposed to protect your best friend and not make her feel alone in the world.
That’s why we chose to go down two completely different roads. While I made sure no one spoke against you, you chose to trash-talk me to others.
I had people approaching me on the street, telling me about the things you were sharing behind my back. About all of the secrets only you knew of. Of all of the lies you made up.
To this day, I have no idea why you decided to do that, to betray my trust and play with my feelings. I really thought you were my best friend and I treated you as such.
Sometimes, I did things that didn’t make me happy because I knew how much you enjoyed them. I put you and our friendship first, but for some reason, you used that to turn against me.
Even though some time has passed, I still think about you almost every day. I lost a great friend and I feel bummed because of it. Truthfully speaking, I’m still finding it hard to forgive you for everything you did to me.
You walked over me like I was just a stranger to you. You showed me that our friendship meant nothing to you and that all that time, you were only pretending.
I still have no idea why you felt the need to do such a terrible thing. But even though I could revenge myself on you, I chose not to react for the sake of all of the great moments we shared together.
Even though you made me cautious to trust people, I still treasure some of the greatest memories with you. You’ll always be that one person who understood me best, without saying a word.
I guess you had your reasons why you decided to stab a knife directly in my heart and I’m not really sure if I want to know them. I’m certain that no explanation could ever reduce the pain you inflicted.
We all make mistakes, but your one cost me a lot. Your actions made me feel like I was all alone in the world. The pain you made me feel is still one of the worst things I’ve had to go through.
For months, I couldn’t leave my room because I had no strength to get out of bed. I became depressed because that’s what happens when your best friend decides to play with your trust. The one who knows everything about you can sure crush you like no one else.
You ruined me, but I’m back on my feet now. I realized that I can’t give up on life after the first real lesson it taught me.
It’s only now that I realize how much truth there was in the words of my mom: “Don’t trust people lightly. They act all nice to you but then they trip you at the first opportunity.”
She was right. As always.
Right now, the only person I don’t want to be is someone like you. To be honest, I despise you for everything you could do to your best friend. If you’re that cruel with those who apparently mean the most to you, then I never want to be in a position of your enemy.
Thank you for showing me how fake you are. All of the words you said were lies and I can actually say that you deserve the title of the world’s greatest manipulator.
I hope you’ll realize you should change or you’ll end up with no one. The more you keep hurting people around you, the lonelier you’ll get. Trust me.
This is my goodbye to a person who meant the most to me but decided to tear me down. Instead of being the one I keep making memories with, you ended being the one to hurt me.
I guess I could thank you for opening my eyes. Apparently, it’s the only right thing you ever did right.
Best regards,
The one who still keeps your secrets unrevealed
3. A letter to a family member
To the one whose words still haunt me,
Even though you’re a part of the family, you’re also the one who’s getting my letter to tell you how much you hurt me.
Maybe you think that your words weren’t harmful, but each one of them pierced my heart. Instead of being my support, you ended up being the one who kept putting me down.
Over and over again, you said some things that I couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard I tried. The pain only kept growing and at one point, I had enough.
That’s why I cut contact with you without an explanation. I simply had to get away from someone whose only way of communication was criticism.
Every time I did my best to impress you, you made it clear that it still wasn’t good enough.
My food was never tasty. It always missed something so I stopped cooking. The book I was writing kept being dull and boring, so I quit doing it.
Every time I lost some weight, I was still a bit chubby for your standards so I kept going until I finally ended up in the hospital due to exhaustion.
I did my best to impress you, but the only words I ever got from you were, “It’s not good enough” and “You can do it better if you try harder.”
So, I kept “becoming better” – until I realized that it was all in vain. You’d always somehow find a flaw in me and I’d never be good enough for you. It was obvious that no matter the efforts, you’d still tell me I’m not up to your standards.
Maybe you never realized that, but your words harmed me more than anything ever did. For God’s sake, you’re my family and I needed you to be by my side. I needed you to be my support, not someone who puts me down.
But since you couldn’t do that, you deserve to get this letter that will always be there to tell you how much you hurt me. You turned me into an insecure woman when I used to burst with confidence.
From someone who wanted to try everything, I’m now that person who avoids any kind of activities because I’m afraid that people will start criticizing me right away.
And I’m not saying that you had this intention. I’m just saying that you chose to ignore all those times my eyes were filled with tears because of something you said to me. You didn’t want to realize that my bubbly personality was slowly fading away with your every critique.
Right now, my only goal is to build myself back. To become the person I used to be before your words brought me down.
I have no will to fight with you or to even try to explain this face to face because I know you’ll start defending yourself. You’ll start telling me that I’m being too emotional. Or that what I’m saying is silly and makes no sense.
But you can’t choose how am I going to feel. You’ve already done your part of the work.
What you did to me actually brought me down to my knees and it will take me a long time to pick myself up. But I’ll have to do it for the sake of my happiness. I’ll have to find a way to close the wounds you created.
In the meantime, I want to ask you to be careful with your words. You never know how deep you’re cutting and how much damage you bring with them.
Even when you don’t have bad intentions, your advice can still end up being harmful.
You used to be my favorite family member and now, I’m struggling to fix myself after everything you’ve done. But I’m going to make it, I know I will. I just need some time and I’ll be as good as my old self.
Sincerely,
That one family member who still cries because of your words
Wrapping up…
If they suit the situation, you can always use these letters to tell someone they hurt you. But they can also serve as the inspiration so you can write your own one.
Keep in mind that you have every right to feel the way you do. No one is allowed to tell you that you’re being too sensitive or that you’re making matters worse than they are.
You’re the only one who’s aware of your feelings and maybe it’s time to free them. Maybe they’ve been locked up in your heart for too long and that’s why you haven’t been able to move on.
Writing a letter can be a great way to let go of the suppressed emotions and to tell that one person how much they hurt you. After that, you’ll realize that it’s easier to breathe once you let out the pain you’ve been keeping inside.
When someone you love breaks your heart, it can seem impossible to move on. But you’re so much stronger than everything they did or said to you, and that’s why you’re going to make it.
This experience will make you grow – if you keep going forward.
