Breakups

25 Signs Your Ex Is Miserable (And Still Cares)

25 Signs Your Ex Is Miserable (And Still Cares)
Written by Leslie Blair

So, you have applied the no contact rule but now your ex-partner has started texting you again for the first time since the break-up. You think that your ex regrets losing you and maybe you are considering giving him a second chance. It’s a good sign if he hasn’t been in a rebound relationship yet. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the signs your ex is miserable and still cares about you.

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    It’s your choice whether you will get your ex back and give him a second chance but before you do that, make sure that there are signs he misses you after you break up. Consider why you broke up in the first place. Maybe your serious relationship turned into a long-distance one because one of you had to move. Long-distance relationships aren’t easy, and a lot of people break up, so, make sure to consider his current situation and be sure to read our article on long-distance relationships as well.

    Your ex is miserable without you so before you get into a rebound relationship with a new partner, check for the signs he misses you after you break up. Consider whether you want your ex back because this is your opportunity to start a new life, with or without him.

    25 signs your ex is miserable (and still cares)

    1. He talks badly about you

    Your ex is miserable without you if he is always talking badly about you. Don’t be fooled into thinking that he will only trash-talk to his best friends; your ex-boyfriend will talk badly about you on social media as well, and to your mutual friends. It might not mean that he wants you back, but it’s definitely one of the signs your ex is miserable without you. But whatever you do, don’t retaliate. Instead, smile and keep your head held high. All the things he says about you on social media say more about him than you. After all, your mutual friends know the truth and will tell you all about it.

    2. He brags about his new relationship

    When your ex-partner starts bragging about his new life with his new partner, it’s just one of the signs your ex is miserable and is pretending to be over you. So, just because you see on social media how amazing his new life is, it doesn’t mean it’s true. If you were just an ex-girlfriend to him, why would he have the need for your approval? Don’t give him the satisfaction of acting insecure because it will give him the validation he needs. The truth is, your ex is miserable without you and just wants to get a reaction from you. Maybe he is trying to make you jealous.

    3. He talks badly about your new relationship

    It’s only natural for your ex-boyfriend to talk badly about your new boyfriend. Your mutual friends will tell you all about it but it is only a definite sign that your ex-boyfriend is unhappy with his life without you. He has probably realized that the relationship with you was the best thing that ever happened to him but he still doesn’t want to admit it, so he tries to insult your partner. Of course, he doesn’t have a clue about your new boyfriend’s personality and that is why he will talk badly about his looks, financial situation or something else. Just ignore him and let him talk. He is just jealous.

    4. He is obsessed with his dating life

    Don’t be surprised if your ex-boyfriend suddenly appears on all the dating apps and jumps from one app to another and changes partners often. You will see that he spends all of his time on dating sites and his social media might be full of frustrating and sad relationship quotes. In addition, he will talk badly about everyone he has dated. He is actually trying to find a substitution for his relationship with you but he is having trouble finding someone like you. It’s a definite sign that you are more than just an ex-girlfriend to him.

    5. He is doing drugs

    Your ex will do anything he can to get his mind off of his current situation and a lot of people who want to forget about their life turn to drugs. It could be the biggest sign that your ex regrets losing you. Even if it’s not drugs, he might have turned to alcohol for a solution. In either case, if your ex wasn’t an addict when he was in a serious relationship with you but has started to be one now, it’s one of the signs your ex is miserable after breaking up with you, especially if his first time using drugs was after you broke up. He is trying to forget about it and pretend that everything is still good.

    6. He is depressed

    Being depressed is a clear sign and you will see a lot of proof that your ex is depressed if you check out his social media profiles. The thing is, his social media is probably full of depressing songs and quotes, which is one of the signs your ex still cares. So, if you want your ex back, this is your opportunity, so make a phone call and arrange for you two to meet the next day. If you see him depressed and beat-up, it’s a good sign that he is willing to get back together. After all, he wouldn’t be depressed if he didn’t care for you in the first place.

    7. He is always getting into conflict with others

    One of the signs your ex is miserable is when he picks fights with others; his ego is so broken that this is the only way for him to feel like a man. Since you two broke up and established the no contact rule, he always gets involved in some drama. Maybe he even isn’t on good terms with his best friend anymore. The thing is, he is angry, and even if he apologizes the next day, he will get into a conflict again.

    8. He is envious of others’ success

    The next time you accomplish something, you will hear your ex bad-mouthing it. People who are envious of others’ success are the worst and if your ex is like that, it’s one of the signs your ex is miserable. Those who feel successful don’t envy other people on their success but your ex will do things such as competing against you and gossiping behind your back. When he praises you, it will be insincere and he will instead celebrate your failures. It doesn’t stop there because he will also mock your passions. Those are clear signs your ex is miserable.

    9. He has gained or lost weight

    A clear sign, and probably the biggest sign that someone is miserable, is when their weight suddenly changes. It doesn’t really matter whether they gain or lose weight, but the change is obvious. The thing is, when people are stressed, they either eat more or less than they used to. They also tend to let themselves go due to their depressed state. These eating disorders are signs your ex still cares about you and can’t live like he used to. He is unhappy and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

    10. He pretends to be very happy

    The thing about the signs that your ex is miserable is that he might try to hide them. He doesn’t want you to know how miserable he really is so he will pretend he’s happy but you know your ex very well by now so you will see how fake it all is. The thing is, he would rather lose you forever than admit he made a mistake. People tend to do that because they hate hearing, “I told you so,” that much. Still, him pretending can’t go on forever, so his happy mask is going to fall off any minute now.

    11. He calls you when he’s drunk

    Have you already received drunk phone calls and text messages from your ex? If not, they are on the way. Whether he keeps texting you that he misses you or calls to say he wants you back, your ex will do it soon. All those misspelled text messages are just signs your ex still cares and is desperate to get you back but even if you want him back, avoid texting when he’s drunk. Wait for when he sobers up to talk about all the things he said when he was drunk, as he might not be so ready to repeat them when he’s sober.

    12. He doesn’t leave the house

    One of the signs your ex is miserable is if he has locked himself up and refuses to leave his house. That is how depressed people often act. He doesn’t have the motivation to leave the house and it’s making him anxious to be outside. What’s more, he doesn’t have many friends left to drag him out. He needs some time to grieve alone but after a while, he will snap out of it and get himself together. So, if you want him back, use this time while he is miserable and wants you back.

    13. He doesn’t have ambitions or goals anymore

    A life without ambitions and goals is a truly miserable life so if your ex has chosen that path, it’s one of the signs he still cares. He simply can’t get himself together after the break-up. People without goals and ambitions simply exist in the moment without a long-term destination and for him, it is probably because he doesn’t see the point of it all. He was picturing a future with you in it so now that you’re gone, he doesn’t see a future at all.

    14. He hasn’t returned your things

    If your ex is still holding on to the stuff you left at his place, he is still hoping that you will need it again and this is because he wants you to come by again. Someone who wants to forget about their ex will return their stuff immediately because they don’t want to have any reminders of their ex in their home but when your ex doesn’t want to give you your stuff back, it’s because he doesn’t want it to be over. He is still attached to every one of your things and it hurts him to part with them. Another thing is that he also believes that you will come back and that is why he doesn’t want to return your things.

    15. He is taking responsibility

    So he has started to take responsibility for why you broke up and he is apologizing even for things that aren’t his fault. This is an obvious sign that he wants to get back together because he is miserable without you in his life. Don’t be surprised if he starts promising you that he will never make the same mistakes again. So, if you want your ex to come back to you, this is your chance. He definitely wants you back so it’s up to you whether you want to give it another go.

    16. He asks around about you

    When a man feels miserable and wants to get back together with you, he will start asking around about you. He will stalk your social media profiles, but that won’t be enough for him. All of your friends will hear from him because he wants to find out what’s going on in your life but most importantly, he will want to find out about your love life. He wants to know whether you have found someone new or if there is still hope for the two of you.

    17. He says he’s miserable after the break-up

    This happens in rare cases because most exes will pretend that they are happy but if your ex is ready to admit that he is miserable after the break-up, you have to give the man some credit. The best thing about it is that you can be sure that he won’t lie about it. Maybe he won’t tell you directly but he might tell your friends about how unhappy he is and this is because he is actually hoping that they will tell you about it. He is in fact sending you a message through your friends and waiting for your response. What will it be?

    18. He makes excuses to see you

    Maybe you have noticed that your ex is still somehow always around. He appears everywhere you go, even if you didn’t tell him where you’d be. When someone is so desperate to see you, they will come up with all sorts of excuses and they also won’t hesitate to stalk you a little if needed. He might come up with all kinds of things he allegedly needs from you. So if you notice your ex doing this, you can be sure that he wants to get back together. Now it’s up to you whether you will take him back or not.

    19. The reason you two broke up was distance

    I already mentioned that the reason why you two broke up could be the distance between you, so, if that is the case, it’s most likely that you will get back together. It’s hard to maintain a relationship when there is a huge distance between you two and the worst thing about it is that you can’t even touch each other. So, there is no need to explain how that could be a problem in a relationship. But if that is the only reason why you two broke up and he is miserable, maybe you should give it another shot.

    20. He is dating your polar opposite

    The reason why he is dating someone who seems to be your polar opposite is because he is trying to forget you. To tell you the truth, he still cares about you deeply, but it’s hurting him and that is why he is trying to replace you with someone different. It’s his way of trying to forget all about you. Still, it will only work temporarily; he is actually forcing himself to be with someone else when he wants to be with you. That can’t last forever and he will realize it any time now. So it’s your turn to take him back or let him find another way to forget about you.

    21. He is still single

    This is one of the obvious signs your ex is miserable without you and wants you back. If it has been some time since you broke up but he still hasn’t found someone new, he is actually waiting for you to come around and take him back. That is why he hasn’t started dating anyone still but he is also too depressed to meet new people. All in all, he hopes that you will take him back and he doesn’t want to be with anyone else. So, if you are looking for ways to get your ex back, he might be doing exactly the same thing as we speak.

    22. You two broke up on good terms

    If infidelity or playing mind games wasn’t the reason why you two broke up, there’s still hope. You two broke it off on good terms and that is why there’s still hope. Nothing is so damaged that it can’t be fixed. If you two stayed friends, it’s only a matter of time when you are going to get back together. Your ex is already showing signs he is miserable without you and if in addition you two still talk to each other, you’re going to get back together any second now.

    23. He treats you really well

    Your ex might be miserable but it’s not stopping him from treating you like a princess. He tries his best to make you feel special even since you broke up. It even seems like you didn’t really have that big of a reason to break up with him but now you do have a reason to take him back. Even when he feels so bad, like now that he is miserable, he still does all the right things. If the problem in your relationship was that he didn’t give you attention, he is trying to make up for that. He is showing you that he can be better because he desperately wants you back.

    24. He answers your calls right away

    It seems like he is waiting by the phone for your call and it seems that way because he probably really is waiting by the phone. He has been hoping that you would call and doesn’t want to wait another second. You two surely have a lot to talk about and one of those things could be that he wants you back because he is miserable now that you are out of his life. All in all, be sure that he wouldn’t answer your calls right away if he didn’t still care about you.

    25. He has stayed the same

    A lot of the time, when people break up, they change; they change their hairstyle as well as their attitude. This is because they want to somehow erase the past and everything that reminds them of their ex. So, if your ex is doing exactly the opposite and hasn’t changed at all, this is because he wants things to stay the same as they were. He wants you two to be together again because he is miserable now that you have broken up. The reason why he hasn’t made any big changes is because he doesn’t want to create that new changed life without you; he would much rather have his old life back, with you in it. Living in the past is better for him than choosing to live a life without you by his side; that is how much he really cares about you. Maybe you should give him a chance. But the decision is up to you.

    25 Signs Your Ex Is Miserable (And Still Cares)

    About the author

    Leslie Blair

    I decided to become a Dating and Relationship Coach because of my interest in human relationships and desire to help people experience more fulfilling, authentic relationships with themselves and ultimately others. Creating a healthy intimate relationship is about much more than finding the "perfect" partner. I’ll help you to identify and overcome every obstacle you’re going through in your relationship.

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