Most women aren’t even aware when they’re dealing with a passive-aggressive man. These men know how to hide their tracks and how to make you rethink your beliefs constantly.
Do you have a man like this in your life?
Anger is a completely normal human emotion. It’s there to protect us from pain; it sets our boundaries. That said, the only healthy way to express it is through open communication.
That’s why it’s so important to always be open about your thoughts. But someone who’s passive-aggressive doesn’t know how to do that properly.
If you don’t know, passive aggression is a pattern of communication distinguished by indirect expressions of negative emotions. Those moments may be verbal or non-verbal, but in either case, it’s very obvious that the true emotions behind the behavior aren’t addressed properly.
So, are you seeing the signs that you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive man?
1. He uses a lot of sarcasm
Your man is passive-aggressive if he uses irony and sarcasm to mock you and/or convey contempt for something. You can tell he’s not being genuine when he says something because the tone of his voice changes.
Yes, sarcasm can be used as humor. Sometimes it truly is funny to all parties involved.
However, if one person is laughing and the other one isn’t, then it becomes an issue. That’s when sarcasm and backhanded compliments are nothing other than a direct attack on you.
For instance, you can hear a change in his voice after you told him to buy something that you need for dinner and he says something like “Sure, it’s not like I have anything better to do” or “Yeah, for a moment there, I thought you’d go.”
In a normal conversation, that would sound like someone who was genuinely wondering, but with his change in tone and his demeanor, you simply know that he’s using it as a way to mock you.
2. He always “forgets” to do something
For a passive-aggressive man, it’s very important to always be on top of the game. He needs to be the one in control.
That’s why he’ll go to extreme measures to ensure that he’s the one who is always right and holds everything in his own hands.
That’s why something like forgetfulness is common. When he conveniently forgets something just to spite you, it’s an obvious sign of passive aggression.
For example, he conveniently forgets that you planned to go out together tonight. So he either waits for you to call or he sends you a last-minute text to cancel or to tell you that he’s going to be late.
If this is a once-off occurrence, it’s no biggie, but if he makes a habit of it, you’ve got a problem.
3. He leaves things undone
Here’s another subtle sign you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive guy.
He starts doing something, but in a matter of seconds, he’s done with it. You know that you’ll have to go and finish the job he started because he won’t do anything properly.
He leaves things undone or partially done all the time. For example, when he orders food for you both and he forgets your order. Or he goes to wash the dishes, but he leaves a certain pile that he couldn’t have overlooked.
He does these things to spite you. He reckons if he does it enough times, then one day you’ll simply give up asking him for help and start doing it all yourself.
4. He withholds communication and affection from you
If you’re in a relationship with a passive-aggressive man, you know what it feels like when he gives you the cold shoulder.
When you reach out to hold his hand, he yanks it away from you. When you go in for a hug, he pushes you away and tells you that you’re annoying for always needing attention.
Even at times when you try to talk to him about an issue, he just brushes it off and says that it’s not important. In these situations, he may even blame you for all of it and tell you that you’re just being annoying.
Of course, that’s not true. Your need for communication and affection is completely valid and you have a right to it. If your partner doesn’t feel good about something, he should be able to communicate it with you.
Even if he wants space, he should say it outright.
The fact that he’s not even trying to communicate with you is just a sign that he wants to hurt you somehow.
This is also one of the signs your ex is miserable. He won’t want to talk to you about anything and will completely withdraw from the situation just to upset you more and cause you more pain.
5. He constantly says “I’m fine” when he’s clearly not
I’d like to believe that there’s a special circle in hell for people who continue saying that they’re fine when they’re not.
When you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive man, he doesn’t want you to think that you hurt him in any kind of way.
So he ends up telling you that everything’s okay when the vein on his forehead looks like it’s about to pop from all the anger building up inside him.
And then, when you press him hard enough, that’s when the anger inside him explodes. He starts shouting at you and telling you that you should know why he’s angry.
He’s just avoiding the topic and finding any way possible to tell you that you’re the problem and not him.
At one point, he’ll even tell you that you need to think before you act, which will make you end up feeling much worse than you should.
We’re all human – we all make mistakes. But we can learn. If you truly did hurt him, then he should’ve been able to communicate that with you instead of behaving like this.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about an ex here or your current boyfriend, the ultimate truth is that he’s a passive-aggressive man.