All of us deserve to be in a healthy relationship but when he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, he will show signs he doesn’t care about you or your relationship. No matter how much it hurts your self-esteem, you have to acknowledge the warning signs because if it’s true that he doesn’t care about being in a long-term relationship with you anymore, moving on is your only choice.
15 signs he doesn’t care (and it’s time to let go)
Every girl dreams of the day that she will say I do but do you really want to say I do to a toxic relationship? Do you want to say I do to a narcissist who will never try to make things work? Every good piece of relationship advice will tell you that moving on is necessary for your well-being. He might say, “I love you,” but love is the last thing on his mind when he is texting you those hurtful things.
My ex was a narcissist, and I could tell he didn’t care about me because of all the red flags. He would hurt my self-esteem from the beginning of the relationship. I knew that he didn’t love me because he would never put effort into making things work. It was a toxic relationship and my best friend helped me leave it. So, when he doesn’t care about your feelings, talk to your best friend about it, and they will help you see things clearly. You will get the best relationship advice from someone who truly loves you.
You have to have self-love in the first place and make your well-being a priority. Realize that there are a million good guys out there. You can have a healthy relationship, and your current man is going to miss you. It doesn’t matter how many times he says the words, “I love you,” because you will see signs that he doesn’t care.
Signs he doesn’t care
1. He doesn’t spend time with you
Spending time together is what makes a relationship serious but when he doesn’t care anymore, he will avoid spending time with you. Busy days at work happen to everyone, but nothing is an excuse for avoiding your partner. After all, the main problem isn’t that he doesn’t spend time with you, it is that he doesn’t want to spend time with you in the first place. So if things are starting to be different than they were at the beginning of the relationship, it’s a bad sign. Maybe he has become distant because he doesn’t care anymore. He may not miss you now, but be sure that he will miss you a whole lot once you are gone.
Of course, you both have lives outside of the relationship. No one says that you should just drop everything to be with each other. So, if he genuinely is busy, it’s a good sign but if being with you is the last thing he wants and he finds it boring, he probably doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Good guys dedicate themselves to their girlfriends and make them a priority, so if he can come up with a million excuses not to spend time with you, he doesn’t care. It is a big red flag and he might even have someone on the side.
2. You are the one chasing him
A guy will never miss you if you chase him, so you should never do that. If you feel like you have to beg for his love, he just doesn’t care. I can’t remember how many times I had to beg my narcissist ex-boyfriend to love me and I kept chasing him till I accepted that he didn’t care about me. The thing is, the more you chase them, the more they will run. This guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore, so what’s the point of chasing him? I realized that my ex would never care for me, whatever I did.
So you have to realize that if you keep chasing this guy, it will only leave you in tears. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. Read our advice on how to make him chase you to prevent this from happening in the future.
3. He blames you for everything
According to him, everything is your fault. When you two fight, he always finds a way to blame you for everything. He probably also never apologizes when it’s clearly his fault. You can see if he really does care by his ability to take responsibility. If he never takes responsibility for his actions or his words, it is because he doesn’t care. I think that my ex was perfectly aware that he was ruining our relationship but he would manipulate me into thinking that it was my fault. That’s how I knew he didn’t care about me.
Love in a serious relationship is about sharing an equal part of the blame. After all, it’s always a good sign when a partner is ready to apologize but narcissists are not capable of admitting when it’s their fault and that is why it’s important to see the warning signs. Read our article on men who have a narcissistic personality disorder to find out more about it.
4. He is the one who makes all the decisions
Love is about making decisions together; that is the only way a long-term relationship can work. So it is a really bad sign if he makes all the decisions. To answer the question of if he even cares, ask yourself if he asks you for your opinion. Perhaps he thinks that you are not smart enough to make decisions or he considers himself to be more capable. In any case, when he doesn’t care about your feelings, he will make decisions without you.
He doesn’t consider you to be an equal partner. It is possible that he is treating you like you are beneath him just to feel like a bigger man but all in all, it is one of the signs he doesn’t care enough about you and it means that this long-term relationship is toxic. You should end things with him and find someone who will respect you. Be aware that your opinions should be taken into account. As for your current boyfriend, he is going to miss you.
5. He doesn’t put effort into making things work
A clear sign that a guy doesn’t mean it when he says, “I love you,” is when he doesn’t make an effort. If he doesn’t care about your relationship, why would he try to fix it? It’s simple as that. You are the one doing all the work in the relationship. To answer the question of if he cares, just consider if you are the only one fighting to salvage this relationship. It seems like he is a passive bystander who doesn’t care about what will happen with your relationship and he doesn’t care about your future together. It seems like he wouldn’t miss you if you left.
Maybe he has found someone else or doesn’t want to be with you for some other reason but there is no excuse when he doesn’t care about your feelings. If you have to ask yourself if he does even care, it’s because he doesn’t and he should tell you that so as to not make you suffer in the relationship. It’s always better to end it fairly than to treat someone badly until they leave. But if that’s what he’s doing, don’t wait much longer to leave him for real. He will miss you later, but that’s his problem.
6. He doesn’t listen
Signs he doesn’t care enough include all those times when he wasn’t listening to you. Everyone knows that communication is the key to a successful relationship and that naturally implies that partners should listen to each other. Of course, every now and then, it’s possible for a guy to be too tired to listen to you talk about your new hairstyle but if he doesn’t care about anything you say, it’s a clear sign that you have a problem. The reason why he isn’t listening is that he isn’t interested in you anymore, much like the reason why he doesn’t ask about your day is that he didn’t miss you.
You have to understand that if a guy doesn’t listen to you, it means that he doesn’t respect you and you can’t have a happy relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, especially when it means that he takes you for granted and thinks that your opinion isn’t worthy. Does he even care? I guess not. And you shouldn’t either. Find someone who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. Leave this guy to miss you.
7. He shows no interest in your life
Being in a relationship is about sharing everything with each other. Someone who loves you will want to get to know you better and notice all the details about you but if your boyfriend is not like that and he doesn’t care how you spend your days, he doesn’t care about you. It even seems like all your friends and followers on social media know more about your life than him. He almost never sends you text messages to ask what you have been up to and even when you try to talk to him about your day, he doesn’t care to listen.
If your boyfriend has no idea about your job or hobbies, why are you with him? He doesn’t care about finding out more about your hopes, fears, or dreams so stop justifying him. You deserve to be treated so much better. After all, you are never going to be a priority to this guy… and you don’t have to take that. This type of guy will never give you the credit that you deserve. He will never see you as the amazing and interesting woman you are, but there are plenty of guys who will.
8. He shamelessly flirts with other girls
Trust me, girl, when a man loves you, you will be the only woman in his life because he sees you as the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. So, why would he look at others? Unless, of course, he doesn’t care about you. Is he constantly liking other women’s pictures on social media? Maybe he is also commenting in a flirty manner? Does he receive late-night text messages that he doesn’t want to talk to you about? If you really mean that little to him, you will even see him flirting with other women in front of you and be sure that he won’t feel any remorse at all.
You shouldn’t let any man treat you like that. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that he is only flirting and would never cheat on you; maybe he already did. But even if he didn’t, if you mean that little to him, why wouldn’t he cheat? He isn’t afraid of losing you anyway. Have you already caught him texting other girls? If he is prepared to humiliate you like that, you should get away from him. Be sure that he will cheat on you as soon as he gets an opportunity. There is no reason for you to stay with such a man.
9. He is never jealous
Nobody wants a guy who will constantly make jealous scenes as soon as you talk to another man but a little jealousy is normal and even healthy in a relationship. Anyone who is afraid of losing you will get jealous from time to time but if your boyfriend isn’t bothered by other guys coming on to you, it’s because he doesn’t care if you leave. He isn’t afraid that anyone will take you away from him because he wants you to go.
So if your guy is never jealous of other guys, he probably has no more feelings toward you. Don’t tell me that you don’t know what that means; it means that it’s time for you to leave this man who will never appreciate you. You will find a man who will go crazy if another guy tries to take you away from him; that is what guys in love are like.
10. You are never a priority to him
You should be your man’s first choice, not an option. If he always chooses everything else before you, you don’t really matter to him. It doesn’t matter whether it’s his job, hobby, or friends, but you come last on his list. A man like that will never truly appreciate you. You will always feel like he chooses you only when there’s nothing else to do and you deserve so much better than that.
Every woman deserves to have a man who will always put her first. Trust me, a guy in love always makes you a priority so, don’t settle for anything other than being his first choice. If he doesn’t care enough to make you his priority, it’s time you leave him alone with his priorities and find yourself someone who will clear his schedule for you.
11. He doesn’t treat you special
You want the man you love to treat you special but if the man in your life is treating you like everyone else, you have a problem. It means that he doesn’t consider you to be special, and that couldn’t be true if he loved you. With a man like that, you will never feel the joy of having someone’s full attention and you also won’t get to feel special. But most importantly, you won’t be happy because you won’t be loved. So, don’t stay with him just so you could see it become your future.
Only if you move on will you be able to find a man who will treat you special. Don’t think that you don’t deserve it because you do, and you are special. You just haven’t found the right man so he could show it to you but that isn’t a reason to stick with your mistake and keep dating this guy. He will never make you happy and you know it so stop wasting your precious time on him.
12. He avoids having sex with you
A very obvious sign that he doesn’t love you is when he starts avoiding being intimate with you. Of course, guys aren’t sex machines, so it’s understandable that he is sometimes tired. It could also happen that he just isn’t in the mood but when you are the one who inititates sex all the time and he keeps avoiding it, it is very clear that he simply doesn’t care about you anymore. Maybe he has even already found someone new whom he sleeps with instead.
Sex is an important part of every romantic relationship and the truth is that a guy who loves you won’t be able to keep his hands off you. The flame does die out in every relationship after a while, but not so much that you don’t enjoy intimacy anymore so if your boyfriend avoids any physical contact, such as kisses and hugs, he isn’t into you anymore. On the other hand, it also isn’t good if he only wants sex.
13. He doesn’t talk about your future together
In a happy relationship, you would get to enjoy planning the future with your partner. You two would stay up all night talking about a white picket fence and the Golden Retriever you will have and it would be a fun activity for you two to think of your children’s names. But if your partner avoids talking about the future with you, it is because he doesn’t plan to keep you around much longer. This guy doesn’t plan to have a future with you; he is just too much of a chicken to tell you that himself.
When you try to start a topic about your future together, he flinches and changes the subject. He never seems to want to talk about any plans for the future and this is because he has already broken up with you in his mind, he just hasn’t told you. You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t plan a future with you. Relationships aren’t that hard; they’re just with the wrong person sometimes.
14. He doesn’t spend money on you
The thing about guys is that they won’t hesitate to spend their money on what is important to them, especially if that something is a beautiful woman they want to keep around. When my husband and I first started dating, he would spend all of his money on me. He considered his job as a way to provide for me. Later on, when we started living together, he would just give me his whole paycheck; he wouldn’t even flinch. Money means nothing to a man who is in love except a means to make the woman he loves happy.
I’m not saying that he should be buying you expensive gifts, but if he doesn’t spend any money on you, he doesn’t really care. Throughout history, men have always used their money to try and win the heart of a woman so if he isn’t willing to spend money on you, you don’t really matter that much to him.
15. He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends
He doesn’t have a problem with ditching you for his friends and if that wasn’t enough, it also doesn’t cross his mind to introduce you to them. It even seems like he is ashamed of you and doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend out loud and this is because he doesn’t intend for you to stay his girlfriend much longer. I am sorry to tell you, but the answer to why he hasn’t introduced you to his friends could be that he plans on using and dumping you.
You deserve to have a guy who will show you off to his friends, a guy who will be proud to call you his girlfriend in front of everyone. So, if this guy isn’t ready to do that, it’s time to call it quits. After all, you are an amazing person who deserves to be treated as one and you will be, as soon as you find someone who will truly love you.