13 Signs He Is Secretly In Love With You

he is secretly in love with you
Written by Chloe M.

Things can get a bit tricky when it comes to love. You can’t really say whether the guy you are dating is really in love with you. Some men don’t express their feelings, and reading their mind is next to impossible. If you really want to know how he feels about you, there are a few signs to look out for if he is secretly in love with you. Maybe it would be the best to try and force your boyfriend to tell you that he loves you, but would you do that?

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    Maybe you should let him take his time to express his love. Saying the three magical words aren’t just words for men. They think that’s their way of assuring you that they are committed to you. By saying those words, they are committed to only you.

    Saying “I love you” for guys is a huge deal. What is just important as this is trust and mutual understanding. It takes more to be sure of his love than just saying those words, in case you don’t want just empty words.

    But if your boyfriend isn’t very vocal when it comes to expressing his feelings, he might try to show you his love in some other way. You should pay attention to his actions and behavior. Here are unspoken signs and gestures that prove your boyfriend is actually head over heels for you.

    13 signs he is secretly in love with you:

    He is a gentleman. Always.

    It can be really disappointing when you go on a date with a man who is rude and has no respect whatsoever for you. Being a gentleman is all about being polite. He doesn’t have to do grand gestures or woo you with a range of crazy techniques. All you need from a chivalrous man is respect and kindness. When you find a man who treats you like that, it’s one of the main signs he is secretly in love with you.

    Chivalry isn’t dead and some men prove that. While you have probably dated some absolute animals, when you find a gentleman he is well worth sticking around for. You are one lucky girl if he opens the door for you and pulls out a chair for you. It is not designed to be patronizing – he knows you are capable of doing those things for yourself. The difference is he wants to do it to show he cares for you. Some women would find this off-putting, but to most ladies, a man like this is very appealing.

    A real man is a gentleman to his lady, always. He will show you that he cares for you in small and subtle ways. He might treat you to dinner, or give you a lift to work, or walk you home after a night out. He cares what you think of him as a person because your perception of his behaviour is very important to him. He doesn’t just do it for your approval, though. He does it because he cares, and it is one of the clear cut signs he is secretly in love with you.

    He remembers what you say because he listens closely.

    Have you ever been out with a guy who just talks about himself constantly? Have you ever dated a man who claims he is listening, but gets distracted by every little thing? Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with a man more interested in the TV? Well, when it comes to signs he is secretly in love with you, look for a man who is listening to what you say.

    A guy in love will pay attention to everything you have to say. He will be constantly hanging on to every word you say, because he knows every word that comes out of your mouth is worth him listening to. If you are looking for signs he is secretly in love with you, look no further.

    If he is listening to you all the time, it is because he wants to get to know everything about you, your life, experiences, problems, and anything else you have to offer up. He genuinely cares about what you have to say, and it is quite easy for you to open up to him. You never have to worry about this guy ignoring you for as long as you are together – his ears are always open where you are concerned.

    He takes care of you.

    There are plenty of men out there who date women they don’t care about. You have probably dated a few jerks in your life, who never hold you when you cry, or abandon you when you need your man the most. Unfortunately, a man like that is not hard to find. Sometimes it feels like searching for a needle in a haystack in an attempt to find a decent man.

    However, if you are looking for signs he is secretly in love with you, see if he is caring. He might not naturally be a selfless person, but when it comes to you, you are always his main concern, and that’s how you can tell that he cares about you. Your man will always look for a way to make your life better if he is in love with you, and he will hold you up when you are certain you are about to fall down. He is going to show you by little things he cares for you, even if you are not yet together. If he is doing and saying all the right things, though, he probably is deserving of your love and compassion in return.

    He holds your hand in public.

    Not everyone is into public displays of affection, which is fair enough. Not everyone is into kissing on the street, dancing in the rain and running around like a teenager in love. However, it is always a bad sign if a man won’t hold your hand in public. It is such a small gesture that means so much, and rejecting it is far worse than having a kiss rejected. It means the man involved doesn’t care enough, and they might even be embarrassed to be seen being affectionate to you in public. That sign alone indicates that you should never date a man like that.

    On the other hand, one of the signs he is secretly in love with you is if he is happy to hold your hand, even just as friends. He might grab on to you to guide you through a crowd rather than just waiting on the other side. He might reach for your hand during a scary part in a movie. He might touch your hand when you are upset. Though many people think kissing is the most intimate thing you can do in public, there is nothing that speaks louder than a man wanting to hold your hand.

    This is a very small gesture but it means your man is in love with you. He is protective and he wants to assure you that you are safe with him. Holding your hand matters more than you might think, and it is a very blatant sign he wants to be with you if he isn’t already.

    He values your opinions.

    It can be difficult to date someone if they never agree with anything you have to say. Though friendly debates and arguments can be an interesting part of a relationship, when two people differ too much, it doesn’t usually work. It is especially difficult when there’s a strong difference of opinion and he completely disagrees with you in a way that makes you feel attacked.

    However, one of the true signs he is secretly in love with you is if he hears your opinion out. He may have already made his mind up and will refuse to change it, but he will still give you an opportunity to speak your mind. He values your opinion because he knows you are an intelligent and thoughtful person, and he wants to hear anything you have to say. When it comes to love, if you have different ideas, he will try to compromise to be with you because he knows that making a few sacrifices is worth it to be with you, and that is one of the signs he is secretly in love with you.

    He talks about future together.

    You immediately know when a relationship isn’t going anywhere because the man involved expresses no interest in future plans. It can be hard enough to get him to plan the week ahead, let alone a life together. When looking for signs he is secretly in love with you, you have to consider the question – does he see a vision of you and him in the future?

    When he talks about his goals and plans in life, he includes you in them. He may seem like he is talking about your friendship, but any serious plans he includes you in show as one of the signs he is secretly in love with you. Inviting you to big events and parties as his partner may initially be seen as a sign of a strong friendship, but he could go with anyone and he is picked you. That means he loves you as more than a friend and he wants to be with you in the long run.

    He is protective.

    He is waiting for your call when you are going somewhere or even just hanging out with your girls because he wants to know you are safe. Sometimes he acts more like a parent than a boyfriend, but girl, you are lucky—he loves you and he doesn’t want you to get hurt.

    He is jealous.

    Sometimes, there’s nothing worse than jealousy, but at other times, it’s reassuring to know that someone cares enough to get jealous over something menial. You’ve probably experienced those times where you get offended that a partner of yours wasn’t protective at all, and it was probably a sign he didn’t care as much as he should have done.

    However, if your man is getting jealous, something is going right between you. If he wraps his hands around you when you are at a party, he just wants to tell everyone you are just his girl and they all need to back off. A little jealousy is totally a good thing in a relationship, but don’t let it get too far, and never put him in a position where he should be jealous. These situations crop up naturally from time to time, but it’s not healthy to pursue it to get a reaction out of him.

    He makes up after a fight.

    Sometimes, a fight can completely end a relationship. There’s no love lost between you and it’s kind of a relief to call it quits because nothing seems to be going well. However, if your guy calls you up to make up after a fight it’s definitely one of the signs he is secretly in love with you.

    If he makes up with you after a fight as much as you do, then he shows his willingness to fix things. Just remember, men don’t like to put their ego aside, but if he is in love with you, he will try to make everything okay. Don’t let silly things get in the way of your relationship.

    He is always there to help.

    When you ask him to help you with something, he never says no. He will put everything aside for you because he is in love with you.

    He respects you.

    He respects you and the decisions you make. While you are out with him in public he doesn’t look other girls. A man who doesn’t interrupt you during conversation surely respects you. The same respect you should give to him.

    He puts in effort.

    Your man isn’t worth it if he isn’t putting in the time of day for you. If he is, he is a keeper. He always makes sure you are happy before anything else, since you are first and foremost his main priority.

    It’s not just you he tries to make an effort with, though. He is determined to win over your family and friends because he knows how important they are for you. He wants to be an active part of your life, even if it means being around difficult to please family members. He often organizes dates and trips for you because he wants you to enjoy spending time with him rather than just going through the motions. He always makes compromises so that you are both happy and not just himself.

    If your man does things on the list, you should know he is in love with you. Hold on to your man, girl. He is the right one.

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    About the author

    Chloe M.

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