Nowadays, one of the most common questions is “Why do men lie?” This doesn’t mean that women don’t, but it really feels like men are becoming professionals. Perhaps he’ll start with a white lie, and proceed to never tell you the truth again.
It’s a bit scary to think that some of the people who matter the most could lie to you while looking into your eyes. How can you trust anyone after that? If the feeling of betrayal is something you’d rather avoid, here are some explanations about why men lie. Are you ready to finally learn the truth?
Why do men lie?
Honestly, most people lie on a daily basis, and this isn’t news to anyone. These lies, however, become a problem if they turn into something destructive for your relationship. Maybe they were “white lies” in the beginning, but they’re much more advanced now.
There are multiple reasons why men lie, and some of them have a connection to their self-esteem, while others relate to anxiety. Sometimes, he simply doesn’t care, about anyone or anything. In those moments, he doesn’t even think about the things he’s saying, and he’s lying a lot.
But, let’s be real, men mostly lie about these three things: their emotions, their schedule, and their achievements. All of them somehow define themselves as individuals, and they don’t want to be the ones oversharing private stuff.
So, why do men lie? Maybe he got carried away, or he was afraid of your reaction. I’m not saying, that you have to justify him, and that’s not the reason why I’ve decided to write this list. You’ll be able to read the most common reasons why men lie, just so you can understand the situation better.
Most of the time, when we’re hurt and deceived, we tend to think that it’s our fault. Well, it’s not. He’s the one who has to get his ducks in a row before he moves on and hurts someone else.
9 most common reasons why men lie explained
After quickly going through all of this, it’s time to explain the most common reasons why men lie. It’s not going to be easy for some of you to read it, so buckle up. You may be triggered, but you have to keep in mind – when a person lies, it’s always her or his choice to do so.
So, what are the reasons why men lie? Are they really doing that just to hurt you?
1. He’s not aware that he’s lying
Well, we have to start somewhere, right? And, is there a better place for that than at the beginning of your relationship? When you started dating officially, did you set boundaries? Okay, if you did that, have you talked about what lying means to each one of you?
Generally speaking, a lie is the opposite of the truth, no doubt about that. But what else do you consider a lie? Will you call him out for not telling you that he went to a pub with his female coworker after work? Or, if he canceled your date night (which you arranged a long time ago) because he remembered that he has to finish something for work?
Your man will sometimes lie, and he won’t be even aware of that. Just talk with him and try to solve all the issues that appear along the way.
2. He’s insecure
Another reason why a man could be lying to you is that he’s insecure. He’s going to tell you something to impress you, whether it’s the truth, or not. Later on, he’ll figure out what to do in case you realize that he was lying.
I mean, he could tell you that he loves reading books, simply because you said that you’re a bookworm, or he mentioned how he’s working in a famous company and gets paid really well. He’ll lie to you, because his self-esteem is low, and he’s sure that you won’t like him for who he is.
This way, he’ll make sure that he’s ahead of his competition in your eyes and this is usually something minor, something that shouldn’t have an enormous effect on your relationship.
3. He’s worried about your reaction to the truth
How many times did you actually stay quiet or slightly change the truth because you knew that the other person won’t react in a good way? Well, one of the answers to the question “Why do men lie?” is exactly this one: he’s worried about your reaction to the truth.
Did you ask him if you look fat in the dress you’re wearing? Okay, how is he supposed to react? If he tells you that you did gain some weight, you’ll burst into tears, or start an argument with him. Maybe, you’ll call him out for being dishonest if you believe that you did gain weight, and he tells you that you look perfect.
4. He wants to protect you
One of the reasons that I personally find adorable, but I don’t approve of it at all, is this one. Your man is lying to you because he wants to protect you. Sometimes, the truth may be a double-edged sword, and he’d rather tell you an innocent lie than hurt you.
When a man genuinely loves you, he’ll do anything in his power to protect you, even from himself. Therefore, if he knows that some of his actions may hurt you emotionally, he’ll avoid sharing the story rather than telling you a lie.
In these moments, all I’m asking you is to be approachable, so he knows that he can tell you anything and that you will love him despite his wrongdoing. However, make sure that he doesn’t manipulate you and forgive him only if he’s truly sorry.
5. He’s protecting his reputation
What’s one of the most important things for men? Their reputation, right? If you ever catch him in a lie, it’s possible that he chose it because he was trying to protect his reputation. Everybody from his group is saying that he’s a womanizer, so he has to step up his game and own the story.
If he’s known as a bad boy in his group or someone who likes to travel, he’ll invent a couple of stories to substantiate gossip. He may also feel ashamed of something he did, so he’ll rather lie than confess the truth and accept the fact that he can fail, too.
6. He can get away with lies
Why do men lie? Because they can. As simple as that. Perhaps you’ve let one lie slip, and he tried again. Then, the second lie was ignored, too, the third one as well, and so on. You’re probably finding all the explanations, and you’re justifying everything he says.
He told you a lie because he didn’t want to hurt you. Or, maybe, he didn’t tell you where he was simply because you sometimes make a fuss out of things. Tell me honestly, do you want your whole relationship to be built on lies? Wake up woman, and confront him about it.
These are some serious red flags we’re talking about, both in yourself and in him. You have to take control of your life and finally sort things out. Good luck!
7. He’s addicted to lying
Some people are addicted to different substances and on some rare occasions the answer to the question “Why do men lie?” will be because it gives them the hype. You know, their heart starts pumping faster, and the adrenaline kicks in since they’re afraid the truth will be visible on their faces.
It’s also possible that lying was a part of his job, so he kind of got used to lying, and he can’t tell the truth anymore. If you remember that famous Jim Carrey movie called Liar, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.
Lawyers, agents, and sales representatives, for example, need persuasive skills to convince people of their lies when they’re doing the job. It’s not like those lies are something big, but when they do it on a daily basis, it just sticks to them.
8. He doesn’t care if you find out the truth
Time to face the truth, a man is lying to you because he doesn’t care about your opinion or if you’ll find out the truth. He’s probably saying things that he knows you’d like to hear, just to win you over and leave you as soon as he decides it’s over.
When a man is in love, he’ll be honest and will avoid telling lies, because he’s afraid that he may lose you. However, when it comes to casual relationships, he won’t think twice. He’ll probably lie every time his lips start moving. Especially if he notices that you’re interested in something more, and he couldn’t care less.
That’s when he’ll tell you how he has to go and save lives and promise you a text that will never arrive because he didn’t even ask for your number.
9. He’s trying to manipulate you
I think this is the most obvious answer to the question “Why do men lie?” He’s a narcissist, and he’s trying to manipulate you. Don’t give in and try to keep him away from your life. You don’t need someone who’s going to hurt you and put you through abuse of any kind.
There are other personality disorders that will make a person lie, but narcissism tops all of them. A narcissist will turn into a perfect man for you in no time. Unfortunately, once you start seeing through his scheme and decide to expose him, he’ll start with gaslighting, guilt-tripping, triangulation – you name it.
If you noticed that your man is lying to you, I hope you could get a clearer view of things after reading this article. In case you’re sure it’s a red flag and not a white lie, don’t wait up. Leave him asap!