Think aloud
When your husband looks at another woman, what is he thinking?
This is a question that almost all women want to know the answer to, because almost all men do this, at least occasionally.
Let me start by being perfectly honest with you… My husband looks at other females too, so I know how you feel.
When my husband looks at other women in front of me, it makes me feel jealous and insecure, and I bet you feel the same way.
I always start thinking that he isn’t attracted to me anymore, and even sometimes suspect that he’s cheating on me.
Imagine a situation where you’re having drinks in a bar with the love of your life, and a beautiful woman walks by.
The man who’s the father of your children, or who you want to be that one day, turns his head and checks her out from head to toe.
When your husband looks at another woman, what is he thinking? It is only one of a million questions that come to your mind.
Does he think that she is prettier than me? Is he attracted to her more than he is to me? Could it be that he isn’t as faithful as I thought he was?
I know you don’t really need to imagine this scenario since you can visualize it pretty well because you’ve been in that situation.
The truth is, almost all women have been.
This is because almost all men look at other women, no matter how amazing and beautiful the woman they are with is.
It isn’t true that only single men, players, or cheaters look at other women because all of them do; some of them just do it more discreetly.
All women have the same reaction when they catch their man staring at other women.
We get hurt and angry, and our insecurities make us assume what they are thinking.
When my husband looks at other women in front of me, I just want to walk away and leave him forever.
That’s how upset I get by it, and I feel sure that what he’s thinking is that he would be better off with her than with me.
If you wonder the same thing, you probably want to learn how to tell if your husband is in love with another woman.
I know I think about that, but wait; how did we jump from looking to being in love?
The first thing you need to know is that you shouldn’t assume what’s going on in his head at that moment.
You’re being emotional, and you shouldn’t make any conclusions without calming down and talking to him about it first.
My husband looks at other females, just like anyone else’s husband, and since it bothers me so much, I did some research first.
Firstly, we need to distinguish between the variations of this situation and figure out the possible meanings of each.
Here are some variations of your husband looking at other women.
1. Is your husband looking at other women online?
This is something that all of them do, and it could mean nothing, but it could also be a problem.
When you catch your husband looking at other women online, it’s perfectly understandable that it upsets you.
Who are these women, and does he interact with them or only look? This is a very important question.
Does your husband hide his phone from you and keep his online activities private, or does he openly do this?
If your husband is acting suspiciously regarding his online activities, there could be a reason for it.
We can help you find out the truth, and you just need to read our other article.
However, if your husband just looks at other women online and doesn’t act weird about it, it’s probably just normal guy behavior.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him if it bothers you.
Talk to him about it and let him know about your worries, as it might turn out to be easy to solve this problem.
Be sure to read our other article to find out what the signs of Facebook secret conversations and cheating are if you catch your husband looking at other women online.
2. Does your husband look at one particular woman?
This is the only time when wondering how to tell if your husband is in love with another woman can actually be justified.
If your husband is always looking at his female friend or co-worker, or even your female friend, there could be a reason to be worried.
Of course, he can also be looking at her just out of friendliness, but I think that you know the difference between checking someone out and a friendly look.
If there’s a particular woman he often stares at, it’s possible that he is attracted to her or even has romantic feelings for her.
I get how worried you are, especially if he often spends a lot of time alone with her, but does it mean he’s cheating on you?
Not necessarily, but he could be thinking about it.
Is he protective of his phone? Has he been less interested in you lately?
Does he come up with excuses not to spend time with you and go somewhere else instead? Is he making sure that he looks his best lately?
Does he act nervous, jumpy, and sneaky around you?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, he could be having an affair, but if not, you should just talk to him about the woman he’s been looking at a lot.
3. Does your husband look at various random women?
Let’s get back to the most probable situation, and your main question – when your husband looks at another woman, what is he thinking?
You need to realize that men who look at other women are nothing out of the ordinary; in fact, it’s quite a normal thing and our reactions to that are also perfectly normal.
The looks he gives other women doesn’t mean that he thinks that they are prettier than you, and it’s not a sign of him not being attracted to you anymore.
He could be perfectly happy with the relationship he has with you and love you more than anything in the world.
Looking at other women doesn’t mean that that isn’t true.
It also doesn’t mean that there’s a problem, or that it’s the worst-case scenario and that he’s cheating on you.
The truth is, if he was cheating on you, he would probably be more careful about revealing it.
So, what is he thinking then? Let’s see all the possible explanations, starting from the most common ones to the least likely scenario:
1. He can’t control his natural instincts
The most possible explanation is that he simply can’t help it.
Men aren’t so good at controlling their natural instincts, but we can’t control our emotional reactions either.
Most men simply look at other women because they can’t help but look when they notice a pretty girl.
They do it without thinking about it a lot, and the only thought in their head is, “Look, a pretty girl.”
He probably doesn’t even realize that he’s looking. His intention isn’t to hurt you, and it doesn’t mean that he cares any less about you.
He’s just filled with testosterone, and he can’t control himself or isn’t trying to.
If he isn’t trying to control himself, either he is simply careless, doesn’t know it bothers you, or there’s another problem, which brings us to the next possible answer.
2. He is disrespectful
Maybe he isn’t aware that this bothers you, but isn’t that illogical?
Even if he’s not aware that he’s doing it, if he’s not trying to control himself, he could be disrespectful and very mean.
This could mean that he doesn’t respect you enough, but it could also mean that he’s generally disrespectful to all women.
Some men objectify women, and if he’s one of those guys, he simply acts according to his personality.
On the other hand, if he’s being disrespectful only to you, and doesn’t care if it bothers you, that’s not a problem like cheating, but it’s still a problem.
All men look at other women, but when your man does it in front of you even if you’ve told him that it bothers you, it’s a huge sign of disrespect.
We can give them some slack considering this is something they often can’t control, but when they don’t even bother to try, it’s not okay.
3. He’s attracted to her
Being in a committed relationship such as marriage means that we have found the one person we want to spend the rest of our life with.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t make us any less human, and we can get attracted to other people.
The difference is that usually, we won’t do anything about it, and we won’t let that attraction last long.
Your husband probably doesn’t even think about cheating on you, but he can’t help but feel attracted to another woman.
It’s one thing when he notices her beauty, and that’s natural, but when he’s attracted to her, that’s a step further.
Is this a reason to be worried? Well, it is, and it isn’t.
The truth is, both men and women sometimes feel attracted to someone other than their partner.
This doesn’t have to mean that they would do anything about it, or that they don’t love their partner enough.
Of course, this applies when it happens on extremely rare occasions.
If this is something that happens often, there is clearly some sort of a problem, even if your partner never even thought about cheating on you.
4. He thinks about what being with her would be like, but in an innocent way
You’re not going to like this possible explanation, but that is why I pointed out that it’s completely harmless.
Your husband could notice a beautiful woman and remember his single days. He could imagine what it would be like to be single again and date that girl.
In an alternate universe, where he wasn’t married to you, would he be able to get a girl like that? What would the relationship be like?
This is just an innocent fantasy that doesn’t mean anything.
He doesn’t really want to be single again, nor does he want to get involved with another woman; he just enjoys picturing it in his mind.
Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you were married to, for example, Johnny Depp?
Well, this is pretty much the same thing, only he imagines relationships with random women.
5. He is a cheater
This is very unlikely! If your husband was a cheater, would he be so careless to look at other women in front of you and make you think that?
He would probably try to be more discreet, and he wouldn’t need to look at other women, since he would have his mistress to stare at.
On the other hand, this option, even though very unlikely, still exists and, in rare cases, does happen.
Go back to the part about looking at one particular woman to see the questions that will help you realize if he’s cheating on you.
As for the problem I had because my husband looks at other females, I finally talked to him about it.
I told him what goes through my head when he does that, and how it makes me feel.
Do you know what he said to me? I am writing it from memory, so these aren’t his exact words, but they are very similar:
“I’m so sorry, dear, I had no idea it made you feel that way, and my intention was never to hurt you.
To be honest, I don’t even notice I’m doing it. Let me give you my word that I will try my best not to make you question my love for you ever again.
If I ever do look at another woman again, I want you to know what I’m thinking about at that moment.
The thought, ‘That girl looks pretty’ goes through my head, but then I look at you again, and I know I’ve married the most beautiful one.
I forget about her instantly. You can trust me on all that.”
I did, and he really stopped looking at other women, at least in front of me, but if he does notice someone else when he’s not with me, I know that I don’t need to worry about it.
Talk to your husband, he might tell you the same thing.
