Think aloud
Sometimes, it’s hard to break up with someone and completely cut off contact with them for the sake of your own happiness, especially if you’ve been together for a long time and you’re used to having them around.
Once you do, you keep convincing yourself that giving them another chance may be the right call. You think that they’ll change for the better and your relationship will finally thrive.
But most of the time, we don’t realize that giving them another shot only hurts us. The deeds that they’ve already done will most likely end up being done all over again.
People rarely change, especially when they see that you keep forgiving them for their mistakes. However, torn between your mind and your heart, the chances are you’ll listen to the latter, as you’re too afraid to lose this person.
If you’re facing the same dilemma right now, then you should know what the no-brainers are when it comes to not giving a guy a second chance. If he does any of these things, he doesn’t deserve to have you by his side.
1. He cheats on you
There’s no excuse for cheating and you should never let yourself forgive him for it. Don’t make excuses for him, saying that he didn’t know what he was doing or that this girl lured him in, as it doesn’t mean anything.
The truth is that your guy decided to betray your trust and see another girl while he was still in a relationship with you. And there’s no right explanation for that; he knew the consequences of his actions and he still decided to do it.
If he doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore or if he no longer loves you, he could easily end your relationship first and then look for another woman.
However, cheating on you and trying to have his cake and eat it is not something you should forgive him for.
Trust me, there’s no way that he should get a second shot after kissing another woman behind your back, let alone doing more than that.
2. He disrespects you
If he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t deserve you. There’s nothing more to say.
If you see that your guy has been acting rude to you, that he calls you names or puts you down, then there’s no reason why you should stay with him.
Mutual respect is one of the core values behind every healthy relationship. So, if he doesn’t treat you as an equal and instead keeps showing you signs of disrespect, then there’s nothing a second chance could fix.
He’ll always remain the same, particularly if you show him that you’re willing to tolerate his rude behavior.
3. He’s violent
Violence often turns into abuse. Yelling at you or throwing things like he’s a kid having a tantrum can easily lead to the point where he won’t be able to control his anger.
If your guy has a history of bad behavior and keeps acting the same way even after you tell him that you’re not comfortable with it, then giving him a second chance won’t make a difference.
His aggressive way of dealing with life will keep following him, no matter how many times you forgive him for it.
Even if he feels like a perfect match, you should know that his bad temper could create many problems in your relationship.
So, you should leave him in the past, where he’s supposed to be, as this guy isn’t about to change any time soon.
4. He puts you down and talks negatively about you
A guy who puts you down regularly isn’t someone you’re supposed to keep around. Period.
It makes no difference whether his words come as a result of anger or not, if he always finds something to say which he knows is degrading, then there’s nothing else to say.
Maybe you keep taking his words as jokes but the point is that he doesn’t change this even if you ask him to.
How many times have you told him that you hate it when he treats you as if you have no value at all? How many times have you repeated to him that you don’t like it when he points out your flaws?
And do you see him making a difference? Have you noticed any changes in his behavior?
If the answers are no, then it’s better to walk away from this guy and save yourself from any more pain.
The chances are that he doesn’t think well of himself, so he keeps putting you down to inflate his ego. But that’s not the way you treat the person you love and he should know that.
5. He’s done it many times before
If any of these things have happened before and you’ve already given him more chances, then there’s no point in thinking about forgiving him one more time.
He already had his fair share of second chances and it looks like he’s done nothing differently. Instead, he kept treating you the same way or maybe even worse.
Maybe he knows that you’ll fall for his sweet words once again and that you’ll forgive him for what he says are just mistakes. But it’s not a mistake if it keeps happening over and over again.
As a matter of fact, his behavior is an actual choice. That’s the only truth.
So, this time, you should be strong enough to walk away from him the moment you realize what he’s doing.
It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to change because if he did, you wouldn’t even have to consider giving him more chances. He would treat you the way you deserve to be treated and right now, he’s far from doing that.
