All women wonder, “When do guys start to miss you after a breakup?” and I’m here to answer that question once and for all.
If you are thinking about your ex-boyfriend, you’re in the right place. You’re about to find out when an ex starts to miss you.
Do you want to know if he misses you? Are you wondering whether there is a chance that you’ll get back together or if he has moved on?
Well, we’ll talk about when a man starts to miss you, how to make him miss you, and what you can do in different scenarios.
Before we get to that, it’s important that you realize that it all depends on the specific scenario and on the specific person.
There’s not only one exact answer to when do guys start to miss you after a breakup.
The truth is, most people miss their ex at some point, but it all depends on a lot of factors. How long was your relationship? Who broke up with whom?
Those are very important questions you need to ask yourself when trying to figure out if your ex misses you.
Do you know about the science behind missing the person you love?
We often compare what a person goes through after a breakup to what addicts go through during substance withdrawal.
Do you know why that is? Well, when you break up with the person you love, the same parts of your brain get activated as when you are experiencing withdrawal.
In fact, during romantic love, the same areas of the brain light up as when using cocaine.
When you fall in love, your brain releases certain neurotransmitters and hormones which make you feel good when you do something.
For example, when you cuddle up to your boyfriend, you produce oxytocin, which is a hormone that helps you form an attachment and a bond.
Women actually produce a lot of oxytocin right after having a baby and this hormone can even be produced when you stroke your pet.
Do you know about the so-called happy chemical as well? It’s dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter.
When you perform a certain action, dopamine makes you feel pleasure and happiness.
When you are falling in love with someone, your brain goes into overdrive and produces a lot of these hormones.
Oxytocin makes you feel more attached, and it’s what makes guys wish to protect their girl and girls to nurture their guy.
Dopamine makes us feel happiness and pleasure when we are with the person we love. We then associate those feelings with that person.
That is why you feel better when you’re with the person you love, and naturally, you want to keep feeling that way.
These feelings of happiness and pleasure are what makes us act like addicts.
When we break up with the person we love, our brain doesn’t produce those hormones anymore. That is why it’s a lot like withdrawal.
When our brain doesn’t produce the hormones which make us feel so good, we want it to happen again.
We feel awful when the person we love is gone after being used to those good feelings.
That is the science that can explain love and missing someone. When you miss someone, you actually miss the way they made you feel.
Now that you understand that, let’s get back to the big question and finally answer it. When do guys start to miss you after a breakup?
How long does it take for a guy to miss you after a breakup?
Does your ex miss you? The answer to this question depends on a lot of things, and every situation is different.
After you finish reading this article, you will have a better understanding of this topic, and it will help you find the answer.
First, we need to talk about some basic psychological characteristics of your ex.
The truth is, his type of character is the most important thing that will help us answer your question.
Of course, guys aren’t that simple, but if you manage to figure out his type, it will help you realize when he’ll miss you.
When does a man start to miss you? Just answer these questions first:
1. Is he the independent type?
If he has an interesting and full life, it won’t be hard for him to fill the gap that’s left after the breakup.
He will simply use his hobbies and interests to distract himself from thinking about the relationship you had and about you.
This type of man doesn’t rely on others for his self-worth or validation. He is emotionally strong and mentally balanced.
Unfortunately, if your ex is independent, he probably doesn’t miss you, and won’t.
2. Is he the insecure type?
Some men feel complete only when they have a girlfriend. If your ex feels like half a person when he isn’t in a relationship, you don’t have to worry about him not missing you.
Just the fact that you broke up made him miss you right away.
You need to be careful, though, because he could be missing being in a relationship more than he misses you.
3. Is he the indecisive type?
There are men who just aren’t sure of anything, which includes not knowing what they really want.
They are indecisive about everything, and they always think someone else has a better life than them.
If your ex is indecisive, he will probably start going on some casual dates after the breakup.
Once he realizes you were the right person for him all along, he will come back and beg you to give him a chance again.
He will start missing you after a couple of weeks or a few months.
Guys start missing you when you stop missing them
When does an ex start to miss you? Most of the time, it’s right after you stop missing him.
If your ex doesn’t ask you to get back together after a month or two, he could just need a little more time.
How much time? No one can say. Most often, it’s just the amount of time that you need to stop missing him.
If he was the one who left you, not the other way around, there would need to be a reason for him to start missing you.
What could that reason be? Well, he could fail at dating or be in bad physical or emotional health.
He could have some financial issues or lose family or friends. Maybe he’ll lose the security he had or his job.
It could be anything really, as long as it somehow hurts him. Once he has a hard time and a lot of stress he needs to deal with, he will start missing you.
The worse his life is now, the more he will think about the time when his life was great because he was with you.
He will start missing you then, and he’ll need you to make him feel good again by giving him validation and soothing his anxiety.
This is why sticking to the no contact rule is a good way to make your ex miss you.
By not having any communication with him, you’ll give him the chance to experience life without you.
Once he sees life was better with you, he will want to come back.
How to make a guy miss you
1. Apply the no contact rule
Do you know what no contact means? There should be no texting, no calls, no stalking his social media, and no asking around about him.
It’s actually like giving him the most effective silent treatment.
Will it make him miss you? Well, constantly being in contact with him definitely won’t.
You need some space and time to recover from the breakup, and no contact will provide you with that.
It will give both of you enough time to heal and stop being angry at each other.
Afterward, you will be calm enough to talk about giving your relationship another chance.
When do people start missing you? It’s when you are not available, when you are not there, and when they can’t reach you.
Just think about that, and you’ll realize that it’s obvious that someone can’t miss you when you’re there.
If you’re always around your ex, he’ll never start missing you.
Let him feel your absence, and he’ll have a chance to really miss you. He will come to you after the breakup, but you need to let him.
2. Start focusing on yourself
The no contact period will also allow you to start focusing on yourself instead of being focused on him and the breakup.
Of course, the breakup will leave you feeling lethargic and low, but you can do something about it.
Give yourself a chance to heal from all that by taking care of yourself.
You have two options. One option is that you stay in your sweatpants and just cry all day.
Another option is that you hit the gym, go out with your friends, and look better than ever.
Just ask yourself which one of these options would attract someone to you.
The relationship you had with your ex is not what defines you, and neither should the breakup.
If you are a happy, positive person, you will be more likely to get another chance with your ex if you want that.
No one is attracted to a depressed, sad ex-partner who’s obsessed with them.
People are attracted to positivity, independence, and success, and your ex is no different.
If you choose to be a successful, independent, and positive person, your ex will want you back.
3. Stay positive and open to new things
There’s a reason why everyone will tell you to be positive. When you are positive, you automatically attract positive things into your life.
Having a positive attitude will help you discover a lot of new opportunities. You could meet many new people.
Some of them could have the same interests as you or help you grow your career.
Maybe one of those new people will even turn out to be your new boyfriend! You just need to stay positive and open to new things and possibilities.
4. Look your best and play hard to get
If you want to get back together with your ex, there are some things that you can do about it.
Give yourself a complete makeover, and it will make you feel better even if your ex doesn’t come back. Change your hairstyle and get a new outfit.
Once you’ve done that, go out with your friends and make sure to end up with some amazing photos of you having the time of your life.
Post these pictures on social media, and your ex will surely see them.
When he sees how much fun you’re having without him, he’ll want you back.
Another thing you can do is recall the things that your ex was attracted to about you. Once you see him again, make sure to make him see those things.
For example, maybe you have a dress he loved to see you in. Wear that dress when you meet up with him for the first time after the breakup.
The most important thing you need to remember is to play it cool when you see him. Don’t let yourself seem too available or even desperate.
Just make sure that you’re having fun and focusing on yourself before that day comes, and you’ll be fine.
Make him see that you know your worth by playing hard to get.
For your ex to come back, he first needs to start missing you. Follow these tips, and he will, but keep in mind that it takes time.
Don’t worry about him hooking up with someone else, because if he’s the right man for you, that won’t happen.
He’ll instead miss you as soon as you break up.
What you can do if you miss him
Do you remember what we talked about at the beginning of this article?
I told you that withdrawal from a substance is a lot like withdrawal from love. Knowing that will help you heal after a breakup.
Once an addict stops using a dangerous substance, they have withdrawal symptoms which can be terrible.
They feel depressed, low, and like there’s a gap only the substance they used could fill.
Sound familiar? It’s the same as when we love someone and suffer after a breakup.
The amazing feeling you had when you were with your ex is now replaced by depression.
You believe that only your ex could fill the gap that is left in your life.
Every time you think about him, you get pleasurable emotions, but only seconds later, you remember reality and feel worse.
Everything reminds you of him. You hear a song you danced to or visit the bar where you met, and you can’t stop thinking about him.
Every time this happens, you experience those withdrawal symptoms again.
What can you do if you miss him? Start by processing the feelings and thoughts you have regarding the relationship you had.
You can do this by talking to a family member, a professional, or a close friend.
Figure out what went wrong and why it didn’t work out between the two of you. Put things into perspective and try to be critical and objective.
Stop all contact with your ex, and this will help you avoid those withdrawal symptoms.
During the no contact period, remember everything that’s great about you and who you were before that relationship.
Ask your close friends to help you remember all the positive attributes that you have.
You need to learn to love yourself again, and you should be with someone who can love you for the person you are.
Here are some situations that you could find yourself in and how to deal with them.
1. He tells you that he doesn’t miss you
There are guys who will tell you directly that they’re not missing you at all.
If your ex is one of them, you need to respect yourself enough to stay away from him.
Stick to the no contact rule, and give him some space. You probably haven’t done that, and that’s why he said what he said.
He needs to see you in a more positive light, so give him some time and space to get there. If you keep contacting him, he could even end up hating you.
Let him be and don’t contact him again until he contacts you first. If he has told you that he doesn’t miss you, he clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.
You have to accept that you won’t hear from him for a while. What you probably don’t realize is that it is actually a good thing.
He will need time to miss you, and now you’re aware of that so you can let him be for a while. The only way he could miss you is if you don’t stay around.
Try to get over him. If he starts dating someone else during the no contact period, it’s nothing to worry about.
Once he sees he can’t be as happy with that person as he was with you, he will come back.
Right now, you need to focus on moving on, and even if he doesn’t come back, you’ll be fine with it.
Don’t wait around for him to call you, because he will do that once he’s ready.
You can’t make him come back to you unless he wants to. Focus on yourself for now.
2. He is just too stubborn to reach out to you
The most often scenario is that an ex is too stubborn to reach out to the girl he broke up with. All that means is that he needs some time.
This is why the no contact rule is so important. No matter how stubborn your ex is, he will think about you if you give him some time and space.
If you think that he’s so stubborn that he will never come back to you because of it, I have to ask you something…
Why do you want to be with a person who’s that stubborn?
If he really is that type of person, he was probably never willing to make compromises.
Was your relationship really as great as you think it was? Look back on it and try to be objective.
Now, think about him, but try to be objective again. He surely had a lot more flaws than just his stubbornness.
You have to understand that those flaws won’t go away if you give your relationship another chance.
If they were the reason for your breakup, you’re just going to break up again.
Is there really no better person for you? I bet there is.
3. He never starts missing you
If your ex never starts missing you, that’s fine too. I know that it doesn’t seem that way to you now, but you will be fine.
In fact, you will even end up feeling glad that you didn’t get back together with your ex. Once you get over him, you’ll realize that you deserve better.
You’ll be happy that he’s out of your life because it will give you a chance to meet the right person.
Right now, you still love him, so you don’t see him objectively.
Eventually, you’re going to realize that he’s nowhere near that amazing man you think he is now.
Even if he is, he obviously isn’t the right man for you, and there’s someone who is.
You just need to start putting yourself first and give yourself some time to move on.
Maybe you’ll still miss him a month from now, but you’ll miss him less and less with each day.
Eventually, you will completely stop missing him, and that’s when you’ll realize you don’t even want him back.
Ironically, that’s probably when your ex will start missing you, but you won’t care.
You will feel happy again, and you won’t need him in your life anymore.