What’s the tea on guarded men? No matter what you do, you always end up falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, cautious, and scared of commitment. Needless to say, you’re desperate to figure out the telltale signs a guarded man is falling in love with you before you lose all your senses.
A guarded man might have a tough exterior, but that’s not to say that he’s the worst thing that can happen to you. Guarded men are capable of falling in love, committing to a relationship, and being the best partners in crime, but – there’s always a but when we’re talking about someone who’s been hurt.
Guarded men don’t hide the deeper parts of themselves because they want to annoy you or wipe the floor with you. Somewhere along the line, they opened up to someone, bore their souls, let their walls down, and got their hearts broken into a million pieces.
We’re aware that we know very little about your mystery man, but we’re comfortable with saying that you shouldn’t be discouraged and that you shouldn’t pass on the opportunity to build a relationship with someone who might (or might not) be guarded. Guarded men fall in love in steps, after all.
While you might not see things that way right now, you want a guarded man to fall in love with you. A guarded man will love you differently. Worry not, though, we’re bringing you 10 signs a guarded man is falling in love with you to ensure you’re equipped to recognize what’s going on early on.
10 signs a guarded man is falling in love
1. He’s starting to open up to you
Maybe you’ve been dating for a while and you were 100% sure the two of you would never share a genuine connection. Maybe you went on a couple of dates and you decided to stop trying because you noticed you were the only one opening up and talking about things that matter.
Whatever the case might be, something changed. When a guarded man starts falling in love with you, you’re going to notice right away. You’re going to notice that the two of you are talking about the future more often. You’re going to notice that you’re talking about your emotions, hopes, and dreams.
When that happens, know that your guarded man might consider you someone worth the time, effort, and energy. We’re rooting for both of you.
2. He’s putting the emphasis on your happiness
We mentioned beforehand that guarded men are typically the ones who have been hurt before. Because of that, they’re likely to put themselves first and focus on what works for them rather than what works for the other person. Before you roll your eyes at the thought of being with someone like that, be patient.
When a guarded man falls in love with you, he’ll start emphasizing your relationship, your happiness, and everything related to you. Maybe he’ll start arranging romantic dates, surprising you at work, or taking you to places you always wanted to see. Maybe he’ll start calling you or texting you regularly.
We’re positive that once that happens, your guarded man is telling you that he’s all in.
3. He remembers the little things
When you’re dating a guarded man, you might not even be aware that you’re dating someone who’s keeping you at a distance. You might notice that the two of you never share the connection you used to share with your exes. You might notice that you don’t feel like you’re together or like you’re an item.
We’d argue that guarded men don’t pay attention to the little things because they expect the relationship to fail. Once your guarded man starts showing you affection and attention, you’re probably going to understand what we’re talking about.
On one hand, you might notice that he’s listening to you much more attentively than before. On the other, you might be surprised by sudden acts of affection. He might buy you the chocolate you casually mentioned you liked or take you to a restaurant you wanted to visit.
4. He talks about your future together
What better way to understand the signs a guarded man is falling in love with you than to observe how he talks about the future? When you’re with someone emotionally unavailable, chances are you’re going to get the cliche question “Who knows where life is going to take us? Let’s see what happens!”
While there’s nothing wrong with being casual and blurring the lines between a friendship and a relationship, you might want to know where you’re standing with your guarded man.
When he starts talking about your future together, going over plans that include you, and casually mentioning that you’re going to attend his brother’s wedding with him or accompany him to his firm’s Christmas party – you’re in!
5. He’s there for you
Men who build their walls high might not be interested in listening to how your day went or how your friends didn’t invite you to hang out with them – but he is.
When a guarded man falls in love with you, you’re going to notice a difference. You’re going to notice that he’s more than happy to listen to you ramble for hours about something that bothers you. You’re going to notice that he’s there for you when you’re struggling at work or dealing with personal problems.
While he might still be guarded with other people, he’s not guarded with you. We know that he’s struggling to open up to you, but he’s over the moon to allow you to open up to him. Whatever his reasons for being guarded are, he’s letting his walls down for you.
6. He seeks your opinion
When a guarded man falls in love with you, he’s going to start seeking your opinion. Whether he asks you to help him out with something related to his problems or invites you to share your opinion on his plans, he’s going to make you feel included.
What’s great about that happens to be the fact that an emotionally unavailable man would never do something like that. A man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship and doesn’t want to share his life with someone isn’t going to care about your options. After all, he isn’t serious about you.
A guarded man who falls in love with you is, though.
7. He celebrates your success
When two people love each other, they’re more than happy to celebrate each other’s success. Maybe they go out for dinner every time the other person gets a promotion at work or achieves something they’ve been working on for a while. Maybe they high-five each other at the end of the day for pushing through.
Whatever the case might be, they’re not afraid to show their emotions for each other. With a guarded man, you might notice that you never get to boast about your accomplishments because you never feel comfortable enough to celebrate them with him.
When he falls in love with you, though, you’re going to notice a change.
8. He shows up for you
Now, one of the most telling signs a guarded man is falling in love with you is his unwavering presence. No matter what you do, no matter how bad the fight you had was, and no matter where you stand in your relationship at the time, he always shows up for you.
Whether you’re having a tough time at work, throwing a get-together for your family, or trying to find time for your friends, he makes sure to be there for you. Maybe he offers to take care of your dog while you’re on a trip. Maybe he offers to accompany you to a work party.
No matter where the two of you stand at the moment, he makes sure you know he’s there for you.
9. He spends time with you
While that might sound like the bare minimum, you’d be surprised at how many guarded men refuse to spend time with someone they’re interested in. Whether that’s because they’re scared of getting too close to them or scared of getting hurt, they’re known to play hot and cold – all the time.
When a guarded man starts spending more and more time with you, know that he’s falling in love with you. He might look like he’s simply enjoying your company and spending time with you because that’s what works for him at the moment, but that’s not the case. He wants to be with you. He’s all in.
10. He talks about you to people who matter
We can’t stress this enough – one of the biggest signs a guarded man is falling in love with you is him talking to all his friends and family about you.
A guarded man doesn’t want to risk explaining everything to his friends and family when things go south (and in his mind, they will), so he makes sure to never talk about the people he’s seeing. At the end of the day, a guarded man is simply trying to protect his heart.
When a guarded man falls in love with you, though, he’s going to talk about you to people who matter to him. It might take some time for your guarded man to let his walls down but, when he does, you’re going to be happy that you stuck by his side.