Think aloud
When George Clooney decided to settle down and put a ring on Amal Alamuddin’s hand, or when John Mayer decided to give up partying, dating, and cycling through women to become a better person, we couldn’t help but wonder – what makes a man stop being a player?
When we’re talking about players, we’re referring to the slew of men we’ve come across over time who don’t want to settle down, be committed boyfriends, or dedicated husbands. Players fear growing up, changing, and giving away the one thing that makes them feel alive – their freedom.
Now, not all men are players. Players are labeled that way because they’re naturally non-monogamous, haven’t had the opportunity to experience a relationship with integrity, or haven’t met their match. Someone who will make them want to settle down. Players can change, but what does that mean for you?
Whether you’ve got your sight set on a player or going out with someone who doesn’t seem to want to commit to you, you might wonder what makes a man stop being a player. Should you wait around and find out? Or should you run for the hills and protect your heart? Read all that and more below!
What makes a man stop being a player?
Now, what are you supposed to do when you’re dealing with a player? When you’re not above sitting around and waiting, you might want to accept the fact that you’re dating a player, be a great partner, and allow the situation to progress – do not try to pressure your partner to commit.
With that out of the way, though, we do urge you to give your relationship a time limit. We assume you wouldn’t want to be with a partner who doesn’t want to be with you, and that’s why we suggest you cut your losses once you notice that your relationship might not be going anywhere.
What makes a man stop being a player? Whether he gets bored with the Casanova lifestyle, meets the right person, or suffers the consequences of going from one woman to another, a player might wake up one day and decide to change. Whatever the case might be, a player can change – and here’s how.
1. He outgrows the Casanova lifestyle
When you’re dating a player, you might notice that every conversation about commitment ends with him yapping on about freedom, not wanting to be tied down, and not wanting to change. Players are known to value freedom more than anything, and they’re not likely to change their minds while they’re with you.
With that out of the way, though, there are times when players outgrow the Casanova lifestyle, get bored with going from one woman to the other, and wish to settle down.
While the Casanova lifestyle comes with its perks, it’s clear that it’s not a sustainable way of life for anyone. When a player figures that out, you might have a chance to build a life with him without the constant reminders of his past.
2. He meets the right person
When you meet the right person, you want to settle down with them, right? You don’t want to waste your time talking to other people. You don’t want to chase that person away by taking your sweet time and overthinking whether you’re ready for commitment. Well, that’s what happens to players, too.
When a player meets the right person, everything else becomes unimportant. With the right person, the player doesn’t feel like he’s trapped or like he’s forced to commit to someone he’s not ready to commit to. What makes a man stop being a player, you wonder? Developing a deeper emotional connection!
3. He self-reflects
Now, you might think that players are above self-reflection because they’re adamant about doing whatever they want, without consequences or thoughts. But that’s not the case. Most players are capable of sitting down, evaluating their lifestyle, and deciding to switch things up a bit.
When a player becomes tired of going out, partying, and engaging in meaningless conversations, he might realize that he’s leading an unfulfilling lifestyle. When that happens, he might desire something more meaningful and long-lasting, and he might turn to, well, you.
It’s up to you to decide whether you’re ready to give him the time and space he needs to figure out what he wants from life.
4. He wants to become the best version of himself
We might have a bad opinion of players because we’ve been played by them, but that doesn’t mean that they’re unaware of what people think of them.
More times than not, players are aware that they’re equally attractive and unattractive to people. People are aware of what they can expect from players, and that’s why they’re likely to talk down on them or even despise them. When that happens, a player might want to become a better person.
Whether that means that he stops being a player, focuses on bettering his career, or improves his relationship with his friends and family, that’s up to the player to decide.
Whatever the case, a man might decide to stop being a player when he realizes that he can’t grow and change while he’s wasting his time on meaningless relationships.
5. He realizes the emotional toll of his actions
Going out, dating multiple women at the same time, and having the same conversations over and over again can take a physical and (more importantly!) emotional toll on a man. Players might not be devoid of emotions, after all. They may decide to do things differently and even apologize to those they’ve hurt.
Whether you’re going on dates with players or contemplating a relationship with a player, get him to see the consequences of his actions. Show him that being with one woman who values him for who he is can be much better than being with multiple women who don’t even know his name.
6. He pursues long-term goals
We’re aware that a player can be any man, of any age, who values the womanizer lifestyle more than anything. Whether that’s because he’s young and wants to have fun or because he’s been hurt before, we don’t know that.
What we do know is that players typically change their opinion after they reach a certain age. When they’re met with the reality of life, they realize that they have long-term goals that would make them much happier than the short-term ones.
Rather than wanting to sleep with as many women as possible, they realize that they’d be happier with a family, a dog, and a career.
7. He changes his close circle of friends
We’re not surprised that players surround themselves with people who share the same passion for the Casanova lifestyle. Players typically hang out with men who want to party, drink the night away, and go home with a different woman every night – because that’s what they value the most at the time.
When a player changes his close circle of friends and starts hanging out with high-value men who prioritize healthy relationships and professional success, he might see the flaws of his lifestyle. He might see that he’d be happier pursuing different goals. He might be inspired to follow their lead.
8. He suffers the consequences of his actions
Remember that even players face negative consequences. Well, you can’t go around breaking women’s hearts, neglecting your career, and wasting your time on things that don’t matter without suffering a consequence or two, right?
We’d argue that every player will continue being a player for as long as he’s having the time of his life, living carelessly, and enjoying a life without responsibilities. When he gets a slap on the wrist and realizes that what he’s doing comes with repercussions, though, he might be inclined to change.
9. He wants to settle down and start a family
We’re not saying that every player eventually wants to settle down and start a family. We’ve seen examples of famous players (Leonardo DiCaprio) going their entire lives without the slightest wish to settle down, and we know that not everyone’s meant to start a family.
With that in mind, though, it’s one of the most common reasons men give up the player lifestyle when they meet the right woman. When they’re presented with someone who makes them want to be a better man, they’re more than happy to give up partying and drinking.
10. He experiences heartbreak
We’ve arrived at the end of the article with something nobody wants to experience. When you get your heart broken, chances are that you want to change everything about your life – you suddenly want to start working out, dive into a new hobby, and even chase that promotion.
We don’t know why that’s the case, but players do the same thing. When they meet a woman who makes them want to be a better man and that woman breaks their heart, they get the desire to turn their life around.
Whether that’s because they regret their previous choices or because they want to prove to themselves that they’re worthy of something serious, well, the world might never know.