Think aloud
Challenges may arise in any relationship. But things can get even more complicated when the two of you are miles apart and FaceTime and messages are the only means of everyday communication. What kills long-distance relationships, though?
The moment we fall in love with someone, we usually don’t plan to see them a couple of times a year and communicate with them only through calls. We all crave that face-to-face contact where we can look each other directly in the eyes. We all wish for a possibility to hug our partner and to hold their hand.
The importance of physical connection is indescribable but still, it’s the part that long-distance relationships miss out on. When you get to see your SO only a couple of times a year, you have to figure out how to make your relationship work without the physical proximity.
A long-distance relationship puts love and commitment above everything which is why many people can’t survive in one. But how challenging it is to be with someone whom you can’t see every day? And what are the things that tear these relationships apart? You’re about to find that out!
What kills long-distance relationships?
We would say that long-distance relationships are way more complicated in the sense that they’re easier to break. The added distance between the partners may make them feel like they’re alone even though they’re emotionally invested in someone.
When you don’t get to see your partner on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, all of the issues you face become ten times more detrimental to your relationship. That’s why a small disagreement can easily lead to a breakup since the two of you are unable to properly sit down and have a talk.
So, it’s not only hard to deal with the fact that your SO is a plane ride away from you but you also have to face all of the other consequences that come with long-distance relationships. When you crave to hug your partner but know that’s impossible, there’s hardly anything that can brighten up your mood.
But what are some main issues that could make your relationship fall apart? What kills long-distance relationships in a matter of seconds?
Here’s the truth!
1. On and off communication
When it comes to long-distance relationships, communication is extremely important. We could say that it’s the most important thing that can easily make or break your relationship.
Since the two of you don’t have the chance to meet in person, all of the communication will happen virtually. That’s why it’s of huge significance to keep in touch on a regular.
This can be hard to maintain, especially if you live in different time zones. Long-distance couples can have a hard time finding appropriate time to FaceTime each other and wind down. They usually text during the day but this isn’t enough as they need to hear each other’s voices, at least through a phone call.
Now, the moment you start looking for excuses not to talk to each other, you’re off to a bad start. When one of you breaks the communication routine, the foundation of your relationship gets shaken up.
It’s already hard enough to feel physically away from your partner. But when you add to that the fact that you don’t hear from each other regularly, things get even more complicated.
2. Insecurities and lack of trust
Insecurities often lead to trust issues. And once the trust is shaken, your relationship is off to a rocky start. So, the worst thing you can do is try and neglect your feelings and pretend like everything’s okay when in reality, you’re holding a grudge against your partner.
In this case, you should explain to your partner how you’re feeling and what’s making you doubt your relationship. The two of you need to build a solid base that’s going to allow your relationship to thrive. Without trust, you’ll soon find yourself doubting every little thing about your partner.
The moment you realize that insecurities are piling up and that your relationship is starting to suffer, you should react and do something to change that. Think of the reasons why you’re feeling the way you are. Is there something that your SO does that bothers you? And what can he do to make you feel more at peace?
3. Lack of commitment
Honestly, no relationship will work without commitment. But when we’re talking about long-distance relationships, commitment comes in different shapes.
In this case, being committed means having regular conversations with your partner. It means trusting each other fully and sticking through the bad days when nothing seems to be going well. It’s also about keeping in mind your final goal and taking the necessary steps to reach it.
The moment you or your partner forget about the importance of commitment, your relationship will start crumbling apart. Within days, it’ll lose the spark that you tried so hard to keep alive.
4. Different expectations
Different expectations are silent killers of any relationship, especially a long-distance one. That’s why it’s so important for you and your partner to be on the same page.
At the very beginning of your relationship, have a conversation about the things you expect from your partner. How often do you think that you should hear from each other? What are the plans for visiting each other? What are some things that are your deal-breakers?
These are all important information that both of you should know about. That way, you’ll be able to figure out if your relationship could work.
If you, however, had a chat with your partner about relationship expectations and still, those needs ended up unmet then be aware that your problems will start to accumulate. In no time, you’ll start keeping score and that’s when your relationship is bound to fall apart.
5. The feeling of being left out
Another thing that kills long-distance relationships that nobody talks about is the feeling of being left out. It’s the feeling that your partner is living his life away from you, having fun, meeting new friends, and experiencing everyday situations without you being there for him.
Long-distance partners don’t tend to talk about this much, but at some point, they all start to feel like they’re missing something. They feel like their partners are having the times of their lives while they’re far away from them.
Be honest! How many times have you experienced this sudden feeling of sadness because you couldn’t celebrate your partner’s birthday with him? How many times have you been jealous that he was partying without you? Have you ever felt miserable because you couldn’t congratulate him on his promotion in person?
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you live your life separately from your partner. Even though you keep the communication going, you still feel like you can’t share all those important moments together. You can’t create mutual memories which are often exactly what makes your relationship stronger.
When this feeling of being left out starts to kick in, your long-distance relationship goes through a crisis. And when that happens, there’s a chance that everything will fall apart right in front of your eyes.
6. Lack of plans for the future
The only thing that gives you motivation to fight for your relationship is the future plans you make with your partner. Once you stop setting goals, your relationship is bound to fall apart.
The two of you need to know what are your plans for the future. You certainly don’t want to spend the rest of your lives living far away from each other. There must be a final goal that you want to achieve. That’s why you’re putting all the effort into the relationship.
Couples who delay this serious conversation and don’t have a plan for what they want their lives to look like are couples who don’t make it through. Sooner or later, their relationship falls apart simply because they don’t feel the need to put in the energy and fight for each other.
Don’t let this happen to you. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, have an honest chat with your partner about what you want your life to look like. If you realize that he’s not willing to talk about it then don’t expect much from him.
7. Infidelity
Even though this is an obvious one, we still need to mention it. The main reason is that couples in long-distance relationships have to make it clear from the very start what infidelity means to them.
Is it considered cheating when one of you meets someone else and doesn’t mention it to the other person? Or is cheating strictly physical?
Also, what makes it harder is the fact that you’re away from your partner. Sometimes, you may even forget that you’re in a relationship since you never see each other.
There are all these temptations that you have to deal with and it can feel hard when you don’t get to meet your SO in person.
But the truth is that if you’re committed to your partner, you’re not going to risk the opportunity to lose them. Instead, you’re going to avoid all the temptations and have your eyes set on that one person who means the world to you. The only person you love, even though they’re miles and miles away.