Think aloud
We’ve all been in an unhealthy relationship at one point in our lives. It drains us and makes us feel broken and lethargic. However, no one seems to be aware that they’re in an unhealthy relationship while they’re experiencing those high emotions.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about romantic relationships, friendships, family relations, or even relationships at work – any one of them can be extremely toxic!
These relationships can have a significant impact on your physical, mental, and emotional health. There’s even a good chance that you’ll deal with the aftermath for years afterward.
So many people don’t make it out of these unhealthy relationships, and they end up losing themselves in the process. In order for you to find your way out of a relationship like this, it’s crucial to recognize the signs and admit to yourself that this relationship isn’t healthy in any way, shape, or form.
Once you realize this, it’ll hopefully be much easier to leave. This is why we’ve compiled a list of signs that you’re currently stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
11 signs you’re in an unhealthy relationship
1. There’s a lack of trust
A lack of trust in any type of relationship is detrimental, but in romantic relationships, it can cause so much damage.
The absence of trust can lead your partner to some extremely toxic behaviors. He may go through your phone when you’re not looking, stalk you, or not let you go out without him.
In the beginning, it may seem like he’s caring, and his jealousy is actually cute at times, but after a while, it makes you wonder if he’ll ever trust you enough.
Why is this unhealthy? Well, can you imagine always feeling like you’re being watched and questioned for everything that you’re doing? It creates so much anxiety that you can’t think straight.
In a healthy relationship, two partners have a lot of trust because they know that they don’t have to be controlling or possessive for the relationship to work!
2. You feel like you’ve lost control over your life
In an unhealthy relationship, you’ll feel like you can’t make decisions by yourself. When you constantly have to check in with your man and ask for his approval, you lose your sense of self.
Every decision you make has to be carefully thought through because you’re scared that he may get mad. So, from all of that anxiety, you stop doing anything! You’re too scared, so you end up doing nothing.
Losing control over your life is quite a common thing in toxic relationships because the toxic partner takes over every aspect of life.
3. Your boundaries aren’t respected
“Please stop doing that, I don’t feel comfortable.”
“Could you stop texting your ex, it’s disrespectful.”
“When you comment on other women’s looks, it makes me insecure. I would appreciate it if you would stop.”
In an unhealthy relationship, it doesn’t matter how you phrase your boundaries, they’ll never be respected. Your partner thinks of them as laughable and pathetic.
He always finds an excuse to go around your boundaries and disrespect your feelings. He makes excuses for his behavior and then accuses you of being the toxic one. Which, in turn, makes you pull back until you stop bringing these things up.
In a healthy relationship, your partner respects your boundaries and never puts you in a position where you feel uncomfortable. You’re free to communicate your wants and needs!
4. You catch him lying often
Some things just don’t add up, right? He tells you that he’s with the boys, but his friends post a story without him there. He tells you that he’s at work, even though you know that they have a day off.
He might even lie about the stupidest things. This man may straight up tell you that he put the dishes in the dishwasher while you’re standing next to a full sink of dishes.
Pathological liars are the worst partners ever. You end up in an unhealthy relationship where he gaslights you into believing that you’re the crazy one.
5. You’re scared of him
Even though he never raised his hand to you or hurt you physically, you know he’s capable of it. Maybe he never even threatened you, but the look on his face says enough.
Humans have a fight-or-flight response when we feel like we’re in danger. We can sense a predator, even when we don’t have a rational reason to suspect anything.
I believe that the unofficial term is “getting the heebie-jeebies”. Something just doesn’t feel right, and it creates an absolute power imbalance in your relationship. This doesn’t happen in a healthy environment.
6. You can’t seem to communicate properly
When push comes to shove, you need to sit down and talk to your partner. In an unhealthy relationship, there’s absolutely no room for that.
Your partner makes you feel crazy for wanting to talk about things. When you want to address an issue, he’ll only say “There’s always something wrong with you” or “You’re too emotional”. When, in actuality, he’s the problem, and he should genuinely work on making things better.
Partners in a healthy relationship don’t have to make a scene about everything. They sit down and talk things through! Also, talking is immediately followed by action. There’s no need for you to bring up things a million times – you know your partner is efficient when it comes to implementing changes in your relationship.
7. There’s a lot of abuse
Unhealthy relationships aren’t by default abusive. However, abuse is extremely dangerous and should never be taken lightly.
You could experience many different types of abuse: mental abuse, emotional, physical, or financial.
In an unhealthy relationship, you never feel completely safe. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for your partner to have a fit of anger and/or aggression.
This is completely unjustified. No one should have to go through this, no matter what they do.
I’m so sorry if you’re experiencing this, but at this time, you’re the only one who can save you.
8. He made you believe you can’t live without him
“Who’d want to be with you? You should be happy that I tolerate being around you.”
“You really believe you’d be able to live without me? You’re delusional.”
Have you ever heard words like this come out of your partner’s mouth? Anything along these lines is completely unnecessary and extremely toxic.
An unhealthy relationship can make you believe that you have no value as a person and that your entire worth is tied to your partner.
This is a control tactic that toxic partners use to make sure that the victim never leaves. It’s one of those bright red flags telling you to run the other way.
9. You feel isolated from the world
Another obvious sign of an unhealthy relationship is when your partner completely isolates you from the entire world. He tells you that your friends and family aren’t important and that you need to make him your only priority.
He’ll even go as far as to tell you that they want to separate the two of you. This man will make it seem as if he cares about your relationship, but actually, he’s manipulating you.
It’s easier to control someone when they don’t have someone to tell them how bad his behavior is. Your friends will try to save you, but he’ll make it look like they’re the bad guys.
This, in turn, will leave you completely alone. You’ll end up feeling like you have no one to turn to because he made you separate from all of your loved ones.
10. He sabotages you
In an unhealthy relationship, your partner won’t be able to admit that you’re better than he is at something. If you bring up how someone complimented you, he simply puts you down.
If you tell him that you’ve gotten a promotion at work, he makes it seem like it’s no big deal. All of these comments leave you conflicted about your own worth.
Even if you’re trying to apply for a new job, he finds a way to sabotage it. He may delete your application or tell you things to make you give up on the idea.
In a healthy relationship, your partner would be happy to support your ambitions. He’d push you forward instead of pull you down to his level.
11. He’s disloyal
Disloyalty is a big part of an unhealthy relationship. Many people don’t even know all the things that cheating entails, so they don’t know if they should react.
Disloyalty includes entertaining anyone outside the relationship. It could be by texting another woman, hooking up with other women, or even lying about seeing female friends.
Within an unhealthy relationship, you feel like you’re at fault for even getting mad at him. Men have their needs, am I right? What an utter lie.
So, don’t fall for these tricks. If you don’t feel comfortable with something that he’s doing, then he’s being disloyal to you.
You might as well pack your bags right away.