Have you been able to escape a toxic relationship and now you’re ready to get back out there again?
You’re wondering if you’re ready. Which is, to be completely honest, an admirable trait to have.
You don’t want to hurt anyone else, you don’t want to get hurt yourself. All you want to do is fall in love with someone who’s actually good for you.
Dating after a toxic relationship can be really complicated. You don’t want to bring your broken heart into someone else’s life, but you’re just not sure how to avoid it.
You also don’t want to end up in the same situation again – meeting another toxic man, falling in love with him, and ignoring every red flag.
Many victims end up looking for a man similar to their ex because it feels like home. Don’t be one of them.
There are many ways for you to know if you’re ready for something new or not. You’re brave for wanting to take that risk and get back out there on the dating scene again.
So are you ready to date again after your toxic relationship ended?
1. You understand what went wrong
Likely the most important step after a toxic relationship is to understand what went wrong. You can’t even contemplate dating until you’ve completed this step.
Are you able to see the red flags you ignored? Do you realize that it wasn’t your fault? Are you able to see how he was manipulating you and are you finally healed from that?
If you believe that everything was your fault and that there’s so much you could have done better, then you’re not ready to date again.
You can’t say that you believe you’re entirely to blame for everything that went wrong and then want to start something new.
You need to be able to fully understand his responsibility. If you’re not ready to admit that he was the one to cause most of the drama, then you’re not ready for a new relationship.
This only means that he still has a firm hold on you and your life. Don’t bring that into a new relationship.
2. You don’t stalk him on his social media anymore
Stalking your ex on social media is probably the most normal thing to do when you’re just out of a relationship. You want to see what’s going on in his life! We all do it.
But when the relationship was toxic, you tend to go on his socials for a while longer. You want to know if he’s just as broken as you are right now. And the sad thing is, you probably won’t find what you’re looking for.
The very moment you realize that you’ve stopped stalking him, that you’ve stopped frequenting the places he visits, and that your mind is more at peace than ever before, you’re probably ready to get out there again.
You can’t date someone new and expect them to be okay with your obsession with your ex. How would you feel if you met someone who’s still checking out their exes social media accounts?
It’s really a good sign you’re ready for something new if you’ve stopped obsessing over what he’s posting and where he’s spending his time.
3. You’re genuinely happy
A toxic relationship can take everything away from you, especially your happiness. Are you genuinely happy with your life right now?
You’ll know by the fact that you’ve reconnected with all of your old friends, you’ve started going back to your hobbies, and whatever happens, you know that your toxic ex will never be able to take that away from you again.
When you’re able to experience that happiness, you’re ready for something new. Of course, you may be miserable for a few months after your breakup, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll stay miserable.
At one moment you’ll realize that your happiness comes from within and that’s when you’ll be able to get back on the dating scene.
Whatever happens, you’ll know that you’ll be happy. You won’t put the responsibility of your happiness on anyone else.
4. You’ve fallen back in love with yourself
A toxic relationship can take a lot away from you – including your self-love and self-care.
You forget to love yourself once you’re stuck in a toxic relationship because your partner makes you believe that there’s always something wrong with you.
Getting your power back and learning that your worth has nothing to do with anyone else but yourself – these are the best things that can happen to you.
That’s why, when you fall back in love with yourself and all those parts of you that he hated, that’s when you are ready to let someone else love you too.
5. You’re able to notice red flags
When you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, you tend to see their behavior as true signs of love. Because of that, even when you make it out of that relationship, you’ll search for similar things.
You’ll ignore red flags simply because you’ve been desensitized to toxic behavior. It’s familiar and even though it’s bad, you still mistake red flags for love.
You’re ready to get out on the dating scene again when you’re able to notice red flags for what they truly are. You realize that jealousy and possessiveness aren’t signs of love, but of his own deep insecurities.
When he says that he’s doing something for your own good, it’s not true. Because if he wanted the best for you, he’d let you make that decision for yourself.
Things like this are huge red flags and unless you know how to spot them and walk away from men who portray them, then you’re not ready to date again.
6. You simply know you’re ready
Sometimes it’s really that simple. It’s not about the signs that we write down or what your friends tell you. At one point or another, you’ll know that you’re ready to get out there.
Even when you want to lie to yourself and say that you’re ready when you’re actually not, you can feel your entire body protest. Don’t ignore your gut feeling. It will always tell you when you are and aren’t ready for something.
When you’re in a toxic relationship, you stop trusting yourself because you’ve been gaslighted for so long. But somewhere within you, your gut feeling will let you know when this ex is completely out of your system.
7. You really want to meet someone new
When you’ve made the decision to stay single for a while after your toxic relationship, you’ll come to a point where you’ll really want to meet someone new.
Not because you need them to validate you, but because you truly feel like you’re ready.
You’re ready to meet someone new, learn about their life, their hobbies, and what they love most about life. You’re ready to have deep conversations and plan the future with someone.
When you simply want to meet someone new is when you should truly go back out on the dating scene.
I know that leaving a toxic relationship isn’t the easiest thing to do and moving on from it is even harder, but when the time is right, you will move on.