Think aloud
Let’s be honest, men can captivate us with a simple ‘How you doin’?’ and a flirtatious wink, but that’s not what makes a relationship work. What’s the best way to know whether or not you’re wasting your time on someone? What are the signs you’ve wasted enough time on him and you’re ready to move on?
Whether the two of you have been on and off for a while or you’ve never even made your relationship official, you’re probably wondering whether you need to bite the bullet and dump the poor guy because you’re unhappy. While being in love feels good, these feelings alone don’t spur solid, loving relationships.
Rather than quitting on him because your needs aren’t being met, you’re spending your Friday nights Google-searching all the signs that justify your decision to call it quits. Listen, if he’s unwilling to put in the effort and treat you right, it’s time to bail from the sinking ship before you drown in heartache.
Sure, you like this guy. Still, you get this uncomfortable feeling that he’s not as into you as you are into him. Listen to your gut and look out for the signs you’ve wasted enough time on him. Scroll down for more!
10 signs you’ve wasted enough time on him
1. You feel like you’ve outgrown your relationship
Whenever the two of you are together, you wonder whether you’re the one who changed. Your interactions leave you unsatisfied. You feel like you no longer communicate the same way you did before. You feel like he doesn’t even like you the way he did before.
While that might sound like an alarm that you’re doing something wrong, you’re not – you probably outgrew your relationship and feel like you’re stuck. Whether you decide to break up or talk things through, know that there’s nothing wrong with moving on from a relationship that no longer serves you.
2. You can’t be yourself around him
You’re starting to lose yourself in your relationship. You keep censoring yourself because you feel like he wouldn’t understand where you’re coming from. You keep tailoring who you are in the hopes that he’ll consider settling down and being with you for real.
With all that effort on your part, though, you still feel like you’re on the brink of breaking up. A happy and healthy relationship shouldn’t feel that way. A man who’s worth your while shouldn’t make you feel like you’re too much or like you’re not enough. After all, you should never have to apologize for who you are.
3. You can’t express your emotions freely
If you’re serious about searching for signs you’ve wasted enough time on him, it’s about time you took a step back and reevaluate the way you feel when you’re around him. You spend too much time focusing on him, his needs and wants, and his view of your relationship. Your needs need to be met too.
And if you can’t express your emotions freely around him, your needs aren’t being met. At the end of the day, a man who isn’t willing to sit down with you, talk things through, and improve your relationship one step at a time, isn’t worth your while.
4. You’re unhappy when you’re around him
We’ve all been there at one point and we all struggle to admit that we’re unhappy. Whether you’ve been trying to get him to commit to you for a while or you’ve been in a relationship with him since the dawn of time, you might feel like you’re stuck – you might be afraid to take the plunge and leave.
We’re here to tell you that’s exactly what you need to do. Relationships might require hard work, dedication, and loyalty, but they’re not supposed to make you miserable all the time. When you catch yourself crying over him over and over again, ask yourself, ‘Am I dating a man or an onion?’
5. He doesn’t treat you the way you deserve
No matter how obsessed you are with him, you need to be more obsessed with yourself.
You deserve to be treated with affection and appreciation. You deserve to get flowers from time to time or go on a date you didn’t need to plan. When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you don’t even need to think about these things – they’re a part of the deal.
When you’re wasting your time on someone, though, you find yourself wondering whether you’re doing something wrong all the time. You find yourself making excuses for why he doesn’t text or why he’s so weird. You drive yourself crazy because you don’t understand why the two of you aren’t working out.
6. He doesn’t appreciate you
Any time you start to pull away, he becomes the most amazing, affectionate, appreciative partner ever. He insists that he cares about you. He makes a million promises of changing, getting better at showing you love, and treating you better. He says what you want to hear, but he rarely follows through.
And although you know he’s lying, you ignore all the signs you’ve wasted enough time on him and you go back to him. You need to understand that you deserve better and that you’re better off alone than stringing him along. You deserve better than to feel like an afterthought or a chore.
7. He doesn’t want to make things official
We don’t know what the nature of your relationship might be, but we do need to underline the importance of ‘making things official.’ Some couples might be okay with on-and-off relationships, casual relationships, or friends-with-benefits types of relationships, but that doesn’t mean that you are.
If you’re banking on the fact that the two of you are going to end up in a committed relationship, you need to have a serious conversation with him and decide what to do afterward. And if he doesn’t want to make things official, it might be the right time for you to call it quits and move on.
8. Your needs aren’t being met
We all have different needs when we’re talking about what we expect to get from a relationship, whether they’re emotional, like wanting quality time with your partner, or functional, like requiring them to take care of the bills or do all the household chores.
Whatever your needs might be, your relationship or your partner must meet them – there’s no question about that. If your partner refuses to hear you out, talk things through, or figure out a way to meet your needs without fighting about them, you might need to consider breaking up and moving on.
It’s a sign that your partner doesn’t care whether or not your relationship is making you happy.
9. You’re uncertain about the future
When you start questioning whether you have a future with your partner, take a step back and breathe – that’s one of the biggest signs you’ve wasted enough time on him and you need to figure out whether you want to move on or stay and fight.
We suggest moving on simply because your relationship should make you feel safe and secure rather than make you question whether you have a future together at all.
You and your partner are supposed to work toward hitting all the relationship milestones, taking your relationship to the next level when you’re ready, or bettering your relationship – if you’re not, you’re probably in a relationship with someone who isn’t planning on growing old with you.
10. Your friends and family don’t support your relationship
We’re not saying that you should ever allow other people’s opinions to affect your relationships, but – there’s something to be said about the fact that your friends and family don’t support your relationship.
If the people who love and support you see that the person you’re in love with isn’t making you happy, that might be your cue to listen to them and reevaluate your relationship.
It might be silly, but we suggest you ask your friends and family whether they think you should wait a little longer to see what happens with your relationship.
When you’re with the right person, most people around you are happy for you and want the two of you to end up together. When you’re not, though, the people around you are going to raise their concerns to you, and you need to listen to them.