Think aloud
When you see the signs your affair partner loves you, it means that it’s not all just casual fun anymore.
Having a love affair can be romantic, passionate, and exciting, but it can also cause a lot of pain and damage.
What is a love affair anyway? It’s not just a casual hookup, but it’s not a normal relationship between two single people either.
We can call a love affair a physical relationship that lasts for a while. In that relationship, one of the people involved is committed to the other one.
A love affair is like an exhilarating adventure, but it inevitably gets someone hurt. Most often, everyone involved in it suffers the consequences.
This doesn’t mean that there are no love affairs that have a happy ending – some second marriages started as love affairs.
But most don’t ever end up as a relationship or marriage. As a matter of fact, 80 percent of all affairs have an unhappy ending and cause a lot of damage.
This means that having an affair isn’t such a great choice, but people often do it anyway.
But can people who are having an affair actually fall in love? Of course.
Unfortunately though, as I said earlier, most of the time people only get hurt in the end.
In the beginning, an affair starts off as something casual and physical.
Over time, though, it can turn into something more when one of the partners starts having feelings for the other.
That person will want and need something more, which will create additional problems.
Why do people who are having an affair fall in love?
Well, the reason often has more to do with the person they’re cheating on than themselves.
If a person is in a relationship that is all fighting and never being heard, they’ll search for someone else to listen to them.
They’ll seek affection elsewhere because they’re not getting it at home.
A lot of times, a person who’s having an affair is simply looking for someone better.
They’re tired of being criticized and want someone to simply accept them for who they are.
Another reason a person would have an affair could be that the thrill is over.
Relationships can become too serious and couples can even grow bored with each other.
There’s no more joking and laughing, which people need in a relationship.
Therefore, a person who cheats seeks someone to bring back the laughter and fun into their life.
People also cheat when their partner becomes overly dependent on them. That is when they search for someone else to relax with.
How do you know if your affair has turned into love?
When you see the signs your affair partner loves you, your affair has turned into a love affair.
This often happens when the affair lasts for a long time.
Maybe your affair partner wants you to meet their kids. If that happens to you, it undoubtedly means your lover has developed feelings for you.
We always assume that an affair starts with something purely physical. But it can just as well start because people already have feelings for each other.
12 Signs Your Affair Partner Loves You
So what are the surefire signs your affair partner has developed feelings for you? If they’re showing most of these, then you’ve got your answer!
1. They want you to think they’re better than your partner
One of the signs your affair partner loves you is when they start pointing out your partner’s flaws. They want you to think they’re better than your partner.
This is because they want to have you all for themselves and hope that you will leave the person you’re cheating on.
You could find yourself comparing the two of them, seeing more virtues in your lover and more flaws in your partner.
This may even help you feel less guilty about cheating on them.
Your affair partner wants to make you see why you should be in a relationship with them instead of the person you’re with.
2. They make sure you have a great time with them
Your affair partner wants you to feel bored without them. So they do all they can to keep you entertained.
They always try to make you laugh and give you the fun time you’ve been looking for, in an attempt to make you feel like life without them is dull and nothing compares to the excitement you feel when you are with them.
They want you to become disinterested in your relationship, and realize that you could have a better one with them.
It’s one of the signs your affair partner loves you and wants to have something more with you.
Keep in mind that most of the excitement is just because it’s a new person and you’re doing something forbidden.
If you’d end up in a relationship with them, you could easily get bored just like you are in your current relationship.
3. They want you to become independent and distant from the relationship
Your love affair partner wants you to become independent from the relationship and distance yourself from your partner.
You will have trouble making plans for the future with your partner. This is because your love affair partner always offers something better.
When your partner wants to go traveling with you, your love affair partner will suggest a romantic weekend getaway.
They make you choose between spending time with your partner and spending time with them.
4. They influence your mood
Your affair partner always tries to improve your mood.
They want you to feel good because of them. They want to make you happy.
It’s one of the signs your affair partner loves you. One message from them could drastically improve your mood, and it shows you’re falling for them too.
Someone who loves you will do whatever it takes to have you, and it’s the same when you have an affair partner.
They want you to be happier with them than you are with your partner. This is because they want to have you all to themselves.
It could cause you to become irritated with everyone and everything when you’re not with your affair partner.
When you’re with them, everything is suddenly alright and you live for those stolen moments.
5. They gladly listen to your complaints
When you start complaining about your partner to your affair partner, they encourage you.
Nothing your partner does is okay anymore, and your affair partner helps you think that.
They want to listen to all the complaints you have about your partner.
You prefer being with them than at home, and they enjoy that. After all, they want you to leave your partner and be with them.
That’s why they’re ready to hear about everything that’s wrong in your relationship.
They also make sure you know you won’t have those problems with them.
Your love affair partner does all it takes to make you think they’re better than your partner.
6. They constantly think about you
Falling in love is the same for everyone. Once you start falling for someone, you can’t get them out of your head.
This means that your partner is constantly thinking of you.
They feel butterflies when someone mentions your name. This means they’re in love with you.
You get romantic messages from them because they want you to know they’re thinking about you.
If you can’t stop thinking about them either, it could mean that you’re in love too.
The butterflies you feel will, unfortunately, be followed by feelings of guilt.
If your affair partner is in love with you, they aren’t happy with only the stolen moments.
Since you’re constantly on their mind, they want to see you more often and text you whenever they want.
7. They want to spend a lot of time with you
Suddenly, those stolen moments aren’t enough for them anymore. They need much more time with you.
You’re going to have to come up with a lot of excuses to grant them that wish.
They want you to spend more time with them than with your partner, and if they don’t get it, they get upset or angry.
This means that they’ve fallen in love and having just a physical affair isn’t enough for them anymore.
They want to get to fall asleep next to you and wake up beside you every day.
But if you don’t leave your partner for them, that will be impossible.
Maybe you want to spend more time with them too – a sign you’re falling for them too.
8. They always try to look their best for you
One of the ways to tell someone loves you is when they try to always look their best for you.
They want to impress you, so they start paying extra attention to their appearance.
Your love affair partner always looks great and it’s not just because they want to impress you. They also want to be better looking than your partner.
They’re probably hoping that you’ll leave your partner for them if they look attractive to you.
They want you to fall in love with them because they’ve fallen for you.
If you also try to look your best whenever you see your affair partner, you’re probably already in love with them.
9. They show you that they understand you
Your love affair partner wants you to feel that they get you better than your partner.
They’re full of understanding whenever you talk to them. You feel like they’re the only person in the world who truly gets you.
This is because they are trying to create an emotional bond and not just a physical one.
Why would they want that unless they’re in love with you?
They want to spend as much time as they can just talking to you and listening to what you have to say.
If you complain to them about your partner, they help you feel less guilty about cheating.
10. They contact you more often
When you first started the affair, you probably agreed on certain times when it’s okay for you to contact each other.
Maybe you avoided contacting each other altogether.
But recently, that’s changed. They’ve started contacting you much more often.
You find yourself texting each other every day and you get messages from them at night.
They just want to talk to you, and even call just to hear your voice.
This is making it hard for you to keep your affair a secret.
They were probably also more careful with what they texted you when you first started having an affair.
Now, they openly write romantic things and don’t hide their feelings for you.
If you smile every time you get a message from them, you’re probably falling for them too.
They’re thinking about you much more than before because they’ve fallen in love. This is why they can’t help but contact you more often.
11. They have trouble with focusing
When you fall in love, it’s hard to concentrate on anything but on the object of your affection.
It’s hard to sleep and eat, and they’re constantly on your mind. The only thing you can think about is when you’ll get to see them again.
This is what’s happening to your affair partner if they’re in love with you.
They aren’t able to focus on anything but the affair they’re having with you.
You probably get texts from them late at night because they can’t sleep. They spend their nights thinking of you and imagining your future together.
This is one of the clear signs your affair partner loves you.
12. They want to talk about the future with you
Affairs aren’t meant to have a future and be long-term, but your affair partner has fallen head over heels for you.
This means that they want to talk about the future with you.
They may even ask you to leave your partner to be with them.
They want to know whether they’ll ever be able to have a real relationship with you.
Being just an affair partner isn’t enough for them anymore because they are in love.
They want something more and ask you to tell them whether or not it will ever be possible.
You can see that they love you by their kiss as well.
If you are thinking about the future with them too, it shows that you love them back.
Just keep in mind that an affair cannot have a future unless you leave your partner for them.
What to do if you want to end your love affair
The right thing to do would be to stop seeing the person you had an affair with and cut off all contact.
It would also be good to come clean about the affair and try marriage counseling with your spouse.
Recovering from ending a love affair is pretty much the same as recovering from breaking up with someone you were in a relationship with.
They say that a person who cheats once will cheat again, but that doesn’t have to be true.
People sometimes plan to have an affair and sometimes they don’t… But what happens when you see signs your affair partner loves you?
If you are having a love affair, I’m not judging you. You have your reasons and only you know what the relationship with your partner is like.
However, I have to warn you of the damaging consequences an affair could have.
You are constantly at risk of being caught, and even if you don’t, someone could still get hurt.
When you see the signs your affair partner loves you, it’s not all just fun and excitement anymore.
Even when you want to have just a physical relationship, love can happen.
You can’t control that. People who get romantically involved often start having feelings for each other.
Despite not wanting to, sometimes they just can’t help it.
Of course, you can control what actions you take, but you can’t control the feelings that develop.
Maybe you started having an affair because you wanted to escape a stressful relationship. Perhaps you were only looking for comfort.
Do you want to end the affair instead?
If you aren’t going to leave your partner for this person, it’s best to end things with them when they fall in love with you.
The first thing you need to do is to set boundaries.
You need them to understand that you’re not in a relationship and that your partner will always come first.
They will need to be aware of the role they have in your life and what they can and cannot do.
For instance, they shouldn’t text you in the middle of the night when you are with your partner.
This is the first step to ending things with them. Do this because they need to first become aware of the situation they are in.
They’ve started thinking they’re more than an affair partner to you, and you need to make it clear that they’re not.
Start acting indifferent toward them so that they see you don’t reciprocate their feelings.
They will notice the change in your behavior and realize things are coming to an end.
Maybe they’ll try to fix things and ask you what’s wrong. If that happens, just be honest with them and tell them it’s over.
Keep yourself busy so you don’t have time for them anymore. When you start spending less time with them, they will realize something’s going on.
Don’t take too long to explain to them that you can’t be with them anymore.
You need to be straightforward. When it’s time to end things, just be direct and bluntly tell them that it’s over.
Make it clear that you don’t want to have an affair with them anymore and that they need to leave you alone.
Don’t fall into the temptation of sugarcoating it. It needs to be clear to them that they can’t have a relationship with you.
End the affair straight away and make it clear that you’re not in love with them.
It will hurt them, but it will hurt much more if you string them along and give them false hope.
After you’ve ended the affair, the right thing to do would be to come clean about it to your partner.
But you need to be prepared that they perhaps won’t find it in them to forgive you.
If, on the other hand, you don’t want to end your affair, maybe you should end your relationship.
You and your affair partner may be in love. And you could be together if you break up the relationship you already have.
In any case, it’s best that you make up your mind about who you want to be with.
Love isn’t always simple and things get complicated in relationships. People cheat and people get hurt.
This is all true, but it’s also true that you can’t have your cake and eat it too… At least not for a long time.
Affairs usually end badly, so keep that in mind if you are having one.
You’re only human and not a bad person just because you cheated on someone. But you can prevent the possible damage it could cause.
Choose the person you want to be with and stick to them.
Anything other than that will just create problems in the future.
When there are signs your affair partner loves you, it’s not all fun and games anymore. You need to be aware of that.
Good luck!
