Think aloud
Wives often don’t notice some clear signs of cheating husband guilt.
It’s hard to even imagine that the reason your husband is always jittery and nervous is that he cheated on you. How wouldn’t it be when it’s only natural to assume that the person you’re married to will stay faithful to you?
This is the man who promised to always love and respect you and stay by your side forever… Is it possible that the same man could betray your trust and hurt you so badly?
Unfortunately, it is.
After all this time, how could he look you in the eye and lie to you? How could he wrap his arms around another woman and then come home to lie in bed next to you and sleep like a baby?
He can’t, at least not without feeling guilty about it.
Even if your husband cheated on you, he’s not a monster. He knows that what he did was wrong and he can’t help but feel guilty about it.
If your husband is being unfaithful to you, rest assured that he’s worried about the consequences.
He can hide a shirt with lipstick on it or but he can’t hide his feelings of guilt. It will make him do things he normally doesn’t do.
Cheaters can be incredibly good at lying, manipulating, and covering their tracks.
They’ll even make you think that you’re over-reacting and that you’re the one who’s acting strange.
But you can’t ignore your gut feeling and clear signs of cheating husband guilt.
The thing is, everyone knows that cheating is wrong, especially in a marriage.
Sometimes, people don’t even know why they cheat. It may happen because of compatibility issues, frustration, or even sheer boredom.
A new female coworker could give a man some attention and he could think that it’s a breath of fresh air.
One thing leads to another, and before you know it, he’s having an affair with her.
It might even just be an emotional affair, but it could easily turn into a physical one.
Sometimes, a cheater may even blame his partner for cheating on him.
A man could tell you that you’ve made him cheat because you’ve neglected him.
Whatever you did or didn’t do, know that it’s not your fault if your husband cheats on you.
When you’re not happy with someone or want to be with someone else, the right thing to do is to end the relationship.
He knows that he chose to do the wrong thing instead and just doesn’t want to feel guilty about it, so he blames you.
Every decent human being feels guilty after cheating.
Unless your husband is a sociopath, he’ll experience cheater’s guilt… and his guilty reactions will give him away.
Most cheaters don’t actually plan to cheat on their partner.
You can’t truly understand why he cheated on you, but the truth is, he probably doesn’t know why either.
He’ll make excuses, but the signs of cheating husband guilt will be clearly visible.
We always talk about how cheating hurts the person who got cheated on, but believe it or not, it actually hurts the cheater too.
An unfaithful husband will enjoy the novelty and excitement of being with another woman, but it will wear off…
Once it does, he’ll be left with terrible feelings of guilt, anxiety, shame, and fear of losing his wife.
He’ll be aware of how his extramarital affair could destroy you and your marriage.
Yes, he’ll find pleasure in the new romance, but he’ll also hate himself.
He’ll know that he could lose you and your love, his family (if you have kids), and even the respect of others.
As long as your husband is a normal human being, he won’t enjoy being the cause of misery and mess he’ll put you through.
22 Surefire signs of cheating husband guilt:
1. He acts strange and distant
As you probably already know, a drastic change in behavior is one of the most visible signs of cheating husband guilt.
You surely noticed if your husband is constantly acting distant and weird, but you might have chosen to ignore it.
He constantly seems to be sad for no apparent reason when he’s around you.
Your husband also started to avoid eye contact and it’s just a way to prevent you from seeing the guilt in his eyes.
He ignores you and acts weird because that’s his defense mechanism.
It’s a strategy to avoid facing reality, admitting his wrongdoing, and having to deal with the issue – and the consequences.
2. He gets defensive even over small things
Your husband seems unusually touchy or sensitive about small things that seem completely trivial to you.
You ask him a simple and innocent question such as what he had for lunch and he just snaps at you.
He even accuses you of being demanding and controlling.
If you’ve had to walk on eggshells around him lately, know that it’s one of the signs of cheating husband guilt.
3. He suddenly gives you a lot of compliments, attention, and gifts
All of a sudden, your husband started showering you with expensive gifts, extra attention, and tons of compliments.
Seems great, but if it’s out of the ordinary, the reason for it is probably that he feels very guilty about something.
He feels remorse for cheating and his conscience is basically forcing him to try making it up to you somehow.
So, he’s more attentive, often tells you that you’re beautiful, and surprises you with lavish gifts.
4. He feels the need to justify everything he does
When a man tries to cover his infidelity, he often goes too far in his attempts to be convincing.
Say you casually mention that he came home a little late – he gives you a long, detailed explanation.
You’d be happy with a simple “sorry, sweetie” but it seems like he has a prepared speech and presentation.
He’ll talk about where he’s been for 30 minutes and use overly specific details.
When people have nothing to hide, they don’t feel the need to justify everything they do.
5. He comes home from a long day at work smelling great
Your husband allegedly spent the entire day at work and used the subway to get home. You’d expect the smell of sweat, yet he actually smells great.
You know what? It’s pretty fishy when your man smells of soap after supposedly being nowhere near a shower.
Unless he actually took a shower at a motel to wash off his feeling of guilt after cheating on you.
6. He has constant mood swings
Your husband whole demeanor has changed. He now has constant mood swings.
One moment he acts happy and even laughs with you, and the next he’s flipping his lid about something.
You don’t even know what he’s angry about and he refuses to talk about it.
Balancing two relationships can have consequences when it comes to mood and emotions… It simply gets overwhelming.
One of the signs of cheating husband guilt is frequent mood swings because he feels bad about betraying you.
He just can’t help it, even if he wants to feel good about the affair.
7. He acts overly jealous and even accuses you of being unfaithful to him
A person who feels guilty often feels the need to project his feelings onto others and accuse them of what he himself has done.
If your husband accused you of being unfaithful to him, it might actually be because he’s the one who’s cheating on you.
Cheaters often have low self-esteem so they cheat to feel a little more worthy and confident. This also explains why he acts insecure and jealous.
Add the feeling of guilt to that and you have a recipe for inevitable disaster.
8. He keeps changing his story
If he feels guilty about cheating, he won’t be able to give the same answer to your question every time – especially when you ask him about his whereabouts.
It’s not that easy to lie since you mustn’t forget the exact details of the story you’ve spun.
You don’t need to watch your every word when you’re just recounting the truth…
Your husband’s not being truthful, so his stories sometimes don’t even make sense.
Ask him where he’s been today and he’ll say at Mark’s place. After a few days, ask him again where he was that day and he’ll say at Ben’s.
It’s hard for a person to keep track of all the details when he lies and makes excuses.
If your husband feels guilty about cheating, something like Mark becoming Ben will inevitably slip out.
9. He constantly complains about your appearance or habits
One of the clear signs of cheating husband guilt is complaining about your appearance or habits.
He just wants to use your flaws and anything else about you to justify his cheating – and make you feel the guilt he’s feeling.
Suddenly, he has a big problem with anything you say or do, and that’s just his guilty conscience talking.
The only way he makes that guilt go away is by making it seem that it’s somehow your fault that he’s cheating.
10. His friends avoid you or act uncomfortable around you
Cheaters don’t actually work that hard to hide their infidelity from their friends… In fact, they often even talk to them about it.
If your husband is cheating on you, his friends probably know about it – especially if he feels guilty – since he’ll confide in them.
Even your mutual friends might be aware of it long before you find out. And they’ll show some signs too.
Even if they don’t want to, knowing that your husband is cheating on you will make them act differently around you.
If they started avoiding you or acting uncomfortable around you, they definitely know something you don’t.
11. He puts much more work into his appearance
Married people often don’t pay too much attention to the way they look – until they start having an affair.
Your husband might have never set foot in a gym his entire life, but now he’s suddenly obsessed with it.
It could be because he wants to look better for his mistress or to deal with his guilt by working out.
Unless he sincerely wants to live a healthier life, cheating is the only explanation.
12. He makes excuses to be away from you
You already know that a cheater will be away from home more often. They’ll often say they need to work late or meet with coworkers.
What you might not know is that your man won’t make excuses just to see his mistress.
He’ll simply want to be away from you anyway because he can’t look you in the eye.
Your husband feels guilty and makes up some fake plans that require him to be away from home.
13. He’s changed his grooming habits
All of a sudden, your husband has started wearing blue much more often. Or maybe he’s changed his cologne.
Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like a big deal… But it could mean that his mistress likes him in blue and prefers that specific scent on him.
He’s probably not even aware that his guilt is forcing him to somehow give you a hint about his affair.
14. He hides his phone
People who have nothing to hide don’t get overly protective over their phones.
What kind of utterly confidential information could be on his phone that he doesn’t want his wife to know about it?
When you demand to know why he’s hiding his phone from you, he accuses you of overreacting.
He feels guilty about cheating and all the romantic texts he’s sent to another woman.
His phone holds the proof of his infidelity so he makes sure that you don’t get a hold of it.
15. He talks you up
Your husband has started praising you in front of others, especially your family and friends.
He wants them to see him as the faithful loving husband they assume he is.
He also feels guilty about knowing that he’s not and thinking about how they’d react if they knew.
When your husband’s behavior drastically changes and he’s suddenly the best husband in the world, it’s suspicious.
Maybe something great happened so he’s in a better mood. Or maybe he actually has changed.
But it could also be one of the signs of cheating husband guilt.
Don’t jump to conclusions and instantly assume he’s cheating if he does something differently.
But don’t ignore the possibility and pretend like you’re not noticing something odd either.
16. He often ignores your calls and turns off his phone
When your man is occasionally unreachable and has a reasonable, valid excuse for it, there’s no reason to worry.
But if he often doesn’t answer your calls and you have no idea where he is, it’s awfully suspicious.
Cheaters need to have prepared answers about their whereabouts, and there’s a simple way to avoid those questions…
When he doesn’t want to worry about alibis because he’s with his mistress at that moment, he just turns off his phone.
By being unreachable for some time, he doesn’t have to answer your questions – and he gets more time to think of believable answers.
17. He acts guilty whenever you do nice things for him
Your husband avoids feeling guilty by convincing himself that it’s your fault that he’s cheating on you.
He makes himself think that you’re someone who makes his life miserable.
You don’t treat him right and you don’t make him happy, that’s why he went looking for someone who would…
He tells himself that and goes off to his mistress reassured that he’s not really doing anything wrong.
But then he comes home to you waiting for him with a smile on your face and his favorite cake in your hands.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve baked a cake, smiled and said you love him, or bought him a new jacket – as long as you did something nice for him, you’re forcing him to think about how wrong it is to cheat on you.
All the lies he’s been telling himself about you just fade away and leave a visible sign of guilt on his face.
18. He stops saying he loves you
Can you remember the last time he said “I love you”?
You can’t remember the exact date, but he said it, so why does it matter? Well, if you can’t remember, it’s been too long.
A very big sign of cheating husband guilt is when he stops expressing his love for you.
He can’t get himself to use those three words while knowing what he’s doing behind your back.
It might also be one of the signs your husband is not attracted to you anymore.
Maybe you think that they’re just words, but people in happy relationships use them – often.
When you don’t feel the need to tell your partner that you love them, something’s not right.
19. He suddenly listens to different music than he used to
Your husband’s taste in music suddenly changed. This is something most wives won’t pay any attention to…
But how do people develop a new interest in a certain different genre of music? Most often, it has something to do with their social life.
New company often comes with new influence.
If his friends still listen to the same style of music, where did he hear the new songs and why has he gotten so into them?
Often, people get more interested in the music that the person they’re romantically involved with is a fan of.
20. He picks up a new unhealthy habit
Feeling of guilt makes you want to reach for something to help you cope, and it’s often something unhealthy.
Perhaps your husband never smoked before, but recently picked up the habit. Or maybe he’s started drinking a lot lately.
He might be using alcohol, nicotine, or other habits to try to feel less remorse about cheating on you.
And it might even work for a short while, but eventually he sobers up and remembers what he did to you.
We can run from things, but not forever. Soon enough, we must face the truth and the consequences of our actions.
21. He doesn’t complain anymore
We always notice when our partner is acting moody or negatively in any way.
But signs of cheating husband guilt can be often missed because we like the positive change.
Has your husband suddenly stopped complaining about something you do and you just feel relieved?
If he always used to complain about something, but suddenly doesn’t anymore, it could mean that he’s cheating.
He feels guilty about it and doesn’t think he has the right to complain anymore.
How could he complain when you ignore his desires if he got what he wanted from someone else?
Maybe he even seems unusually content, considering the seriousness of the issue that used to bother him so much.
Perhaps you didn’t meet his needs, but he found someone who did.
People whose needs are met often seem content and won’t keep complaining to the person who ignored those needs.
In addition, people may stop complaining when they’ve already decided to end the relationship.
Don’t jump to conclusions if this is the only sign you see, though.
It’s still suspicious, but your husband might have just finally made peace with what he used to complain about.
22. He threatens with divorce
People in relationships fight, but when during the fight they threaten to end the relationship, it’s not just about the issue at hand.
This is especially true in a marriage.
You don’t just toss around the word “divorce” when you’re happily married, no matter how bad the fight gets.
Your husband can’t stand feeling guilty anymore and that’s why he threatens with divorce.
If not, maybe he’s simply not scared of leaving you because he already replaced you with someone else.
Most of the time, it’s a little bit of both.
He can’t stay with you because of his guilt and he also feels safe to end the marriage because he’s already found someone else.
If he never threatened with divorce before, you need to ask him what’s really going on.
You might also like to learn how to make the other woman go away.
