If you’ve been having marital problems, you might have prayed for signs God is working on your marriage. Have your prayers been answered and are things really looking up?
You’ll soon find out, but I need to tell you something first. Having faith and trusting that God will help you is good, but not enough.
If you’re meant to be together but sometimes seem to drift apart, God will push you back and keep you together. Still, it’s not always that simple.
If you don’t see the signs God is working on your marriage, it doesn’t mean that God didn’t hear your prayers. You can ask for guidance, strength, and even a miracle, but don’t expect it to happen if you just sit and wait for it.
God will always help you, but you have to help yourself as well.
You can pray for a path and God will show you one but you’re the one who has to walk on that path.
When you see the signs God is working on your marriage, it means that your spouse and you have also been working on it and you need to keep doing that so that you can get your marriage back on track.
Sometimes, people work on their marriage, but it still doesn’t help, so they pray for help.
God gives them what they need to succeed, but doesn’t do the work for them.
Will you be able to see signs God is working on your marriage?
If you and your spouse are meant to be together forever, God will make sure that you are. That’s why sometimes even miracles happen. All we can do is have faith, pray, and do our best to work on things that bother us.
We are given free will for a reason and we need to show what we truly want.
Perhaps you know all these things and have been working on your relationship.
If you see these signs God is working on your marriage too, you have every right to be hopeful.
Stay on the right track and you’ll be happy in your marriage again but know that every marriage occasionally runs into some difficulties.
Perhaps God is testing your love for each other and determination to stay together.
Sometimes, the difficulties are too frequent and too great, which can mean that you’re not meant for each other.
All you can really do is love each other, work on your issues and try to treat each other right.
God will always push you in the right direction and help you get there.
If you see these signs God is working on your marriage, things are really looking up.
1. You’ve started spending more quality time together
Maybe your spouse used to get home from work and head for the study right away.
Perhaps you stopped greeting each other with a kiss and hug when either of you got home.
You didn’t really spend much time together, nor look forward to it. Recently, that changed.
Now, you like spending quality time together when you both get home.
You look forward to the weekend so that you can just be with each other and enjoy time together.
It’s okay when couples want to spend some time apart. The problem is when they’d often rather spend their time apart than with each other.
If this was the issue you struggled with, but now it’s not, it’s one of the signs God is working on your marriage.
2. You fight sometimes
Sounds strange that a fight could be one of the signs God is working on your marriage, doesn’t it? Well, let me explain.
All couples fight sometimes, even in the happiest marriages. It’s when you can’t even get angry at each other that you should start to worry.
Sometimes, fights are necessary to deal with certain issues and solve some problems.
When you can’t even talk to each other or listen to one another, you let the problems pile up.
It’s best to simply talk and listen while remaining calm, but we’re only human. When you fight, you at least express your emotions.
Sometimes, a fight can get ugly but still lead to a resolution. When it gets unpleasant, it forces us to mention even the problems we don’t want to.
Naturally, there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed, and constantly fighting is a big problem but occasionally being angry is normal.
Couples who don’t fight are often actually indifferent and don’t care about the relationship.
Even anger is better than indifference when it comes to marriage.
You fight because you’re committed to the relationship; you don’t fight when you’ve given up on it.
Occasional fights are a good sign because they show that you haven’t thrown in the towel yet.
3. You can have uncomfortable conversations
Sometimes, there are challenges even in the healthiest, happiest marriage. The reason that it stays happy and healthy is talking about those challenges.
Can the two of you talk about touchy subjects?
It’s not good if you used to avoid uncomfortable conversations and mentioning sensitive subjects felt like nagging.
Now, you’ve started listening to one another, even if you’re not comfortable with the subject.
You have seen that it feels good to be honest and have a heart-to-heart conversation.
This means that you finally have a level of trust you never had before, and that’s great!
4. Your spouse agreed to try counseling
Maybe you managed to identify the problems your spouse and you have been having. You tried talking to them about it, but it simply didn’t help.
So, the problems became harder to handle, and you suggested counseling. Your spouse refused and didn’t want to hear about it.
Maybe you hoped that the problems would somehow just go away, but it just got worse.
One day, though, your spouse finally agreed to try the counseling.
This is one of the clear signs God is working on your marriage.
He helped your spouse understand that you have to seek help when you can’t work things out.
5. You distribute the housework equally
Most commonly, couples in relationships have problems with jealousy.
In marriage though, the most prevalent problem is the uneven distribution of housework.
There are chores around the house that someone has to do, so who’ll do them?
Most often, if one of the spouses doesn’t have a job or has more flexibility, they will take on more work.
This sounds fair, but unfortunately, this person often ends up taking care of everything.
It creates problems whenever household duties aren’t evenly divided. If you have children, it gets even worse.
Maybe you used to take care of the kids and everything around the house.
That can be harder than a full-time job, but you might even have one as well.
Either way, until recently, your spouse wasn’t willing to participate in the daily chores.
Even when they occasionally did, they called it ‘helping you’, like it was your responsibility.
Now, they understand that it’s something you both need to do. You’ve finally started dividing the household chores equally.
They might have even realized that it can be fun and can bring you closer together.
For instance, instead of watching TV while you cook, you started cooking together.
6. You stopped keeping score and bringing up mistakes from the past
Arguing can be healthy, but bringing up mistakes from the past and keeping score can’t.
Your spouse used to mention even minor transgressions that happened years ago.
No matter how clear it was that you weren’t the same person anymore, they couldn’t let it go.
They got stuck on an old version of you and seem to have an incredible memory.
You didn’t even remember what exactly happened, but they didn’t hesitate to remind you.
This is very unhealthy and, even though seemingly not a big deal, it’s a huge problem.
Suddenly, it stopped happening. God helped your spouse let go and realize that living in the past could ruin the future.
7. You started respecting each other’s privacy more
Maybe you used to check your spouse’s phone and read their texts without them knowing.
Perhaps they used to secretly check your messages on social media.
This was a big problem because it indicated a huge lack of trust.
However, instead of doing things like this, you talked about it and realized how wrong it was.
One of the signs God is working on your marriage is if you trust each other more. Now, you have more respect for each other’s privacy.
Maybe you simply agreed to be more open about who you message. You don’t hide your phone, but don’t share everything either.
You’re more open about your online activities and they don’t have the need to check and the same goes for them.
8. You don’t publicly embarrass or humiliate each other
Sometimes, partners tease each other and make inappropriate jokes. As long as it doesn’t happen too often, there’s nothing wrong with it.
Embarrassing or humiliating your spouse is a whole other thing.
This is not okay even if there’s no one around to hear it but it’s even worse when you do it in front of relatives, co-workers, or friends.
It can happen that you publicly embarrass or humiliate your spouse without any intention of doing so.
Accidents happen, and once or twice can be an accident, but after that, it’s a choice.
Intentionally or just carelessly, your spouse used to publicly humiliate or embarrass you.
Now, they have much more respect for the sanctity of marriage.
Isn’t that clearly one of the signs God is working on your marriage?
Your spouse is now much more cautious not to ever say anything that could embarrass you.
9. One of the amazing signs God is working on your marriage is when you’re the first to know everything
When you’re the last one to know what’s going on with your spouse, it’s a red flag. It makes you feel betrayed, disrespected, and even unloved.
In a marriage, your spouse should be the first person you share things with, or at least among the first to know.
Your other half used to make plans with others and make important decisions without telling you.
Instead, you’d hear it from them when you asked or even found out from someone else.
For instance, you might have found out that your spouse enrolled your kids in some classes.
The problem is that you found it out from their teacher who was surprised that you didn’t know.
Now, your spouse has started sharing information with you first and making decisions together.
10. You started truly celebrating special occasions
Until recently, your spouse would forget anniversaries and birthdays. These days are special to you, but they should be special to them too.
When they would remember, they put no effort into actually celebrating it.
I’m not talking about throwing a party and hiring a band but getting home late with flowers from a gas station doesn’t count as effort.
You even got used to it and didn’t expect anything anymore but this last special occasion, your spouse didn’t just remember, they actually made you feel special on the day that was finally special to them too.
It wasn’t just a one-time thing because they really understand the point now.
Maybe now they won’t even wait for a special occasion to surprise you.
Instead of wilted flowers for an anniversary, you may get beautiful roses for no occasion.
11. You look forward to going home
It’s natural to not look forward to going home when your spouse is angry at you.
If you left during a fight that wasn’t finished, you don’t know what’s waiting for you.
When you don’t look forward to going home even when things are fine, it’s really bad.
In a happy marriage, spouses are happy when they get home from work. They know that their loved one will greet them with a smile and a kiss.
Afterward, they’ll talk to them about their day, and they’re even eager to do so. Until recently, this was not the case in your marriage.
You would even find ways to avoid going straight home. Maybe you worked late, went shopping or met your friends…
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with doing these things.
However, when they become an alarming regularity and an excuse to avoid going home, there is.
Your home should be the place where you feel most comfortable and your spouse should be someone you’re eager to see and to talk to about your day.
You realized that and did some soul searching to figure out what the problem was.
Maybe you’re still not looking forward to going home, but you don’t avoid it either.
Instead, you made it a priority to fix whatever was making you avoid it. You talked to your spouse about it and you’re both working on it.
12. You stopped using the word ‘divorce’
In a marriage, ‘divorce’ is a very serious word that shouldn’t be tossed around lightly.
Whenever you’d argue about something before, your spouse would use it. They often used to threaten divorce, which is very alarming.
Maybe it was because they were unhappy in the marriage and actually thought about divorce.
Perhaps it was nothing other than poor conflict resolution skills.
Whatever it was, they realized that you get to use the word ‘divorce’ only once in a marriage… When it’s over.
Sometimes, it just has to be over because people aren’t really meant to be together.
There are some early signs your marriage will last that can reassure you whether you are truly meant to be.
13. One of the clear signs God is working on your marriage is if you stopped having emotional affairs
Naturally, infidelity isn’t acceptable in a marriage, but what counts as infidelity?
Sometimes, people can have emotional affairs, which is not quite like cheating.
When we say cheating, we often think of something that requires a physical affair.
But what if you just start having romantic feelings for someone else without doing anything about it?
Sharing your intimate secrets with this person and developing a deep connection sounds like falling in love, doesn’t it?
This is why this is still called an affair, even if just an emotional one. It’s very dangerous territory that can lead to a lot of problems.
Yes, married people can start having feelings for others. When they aren’t going to do anything about it, they may think that it’s not wrong.
Still, not ending a relationship that clearly isn’t just friendly counts as cheating.
Maybe your husband thinks he does nothing wrong when he looks at another woman the way he used to look at you.
Perhaps your wife thinks she’s doing nothing wrong when she giggles at another man’s joke.
Maybe there’s really nothing wrong since that’s just one detail, but your spouse and you did have emotional affairs.
You actually had a romantic relationship with someone else.
Since you didn’t act on your emotions, you thought that it was okay.
This was just a friend you enjoyed talking to, looking at, and letting make your heart skip a beat…
That’s called falling in love and it’s not that innocent just because it didn’t get physical.
Nevertheless, God worked on your marriage by helping you realize that.
You’re not in a relationship just because you kiss and sleep in the same bed. Your marriage should mean that you’re two people in love.
If you’re falling in love with someone else, you’re cheating. It can still happen, but how you end it as soon as you notice it happening.
14. You stopped feeling lonely
Feeling lonely when you’re single can be normal but when you’re feeling lonely in a marriage, there’s something very wrong.
Your need for emotional support and companionship were not being met. Somehow, your spouse was with you only physically.
You started feeling more uncomfortable with them than when you were alone. They never actively participated in things you loved doing.
It didn’t matter whether it was going to a concert, watching sports, cooking or dancing.
You just always had to do those things alone or with your friends.
God didn’t intend for people to feel lonely when they’re not alone and as if a miracle happened, your spouse doesn’t let you feel alone anymore.
They show interest in what you like doing and join you.
15. You stopped feeling controlled
Maybe you used to have no say in things you definitely should have. Whether this was manifested in small or big ways, it was a problem.
Perhaps your spouse would always decide what was for lunch. Maybe they decided what kind of car you’d buy.
This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but you had no say in it, and that is a considerable problem.
Your opinions and points of view were always dismissed.
Maybe they also used money to control you. If you had limited access to money or they wouldn’t let you deal with finances, it’s not okay.
Your spouse realized that it isn’t though, and things have changed.
You now have access to banking and a credit card of your own, and when decisions are being made, you have an equal say in them.
These are perfectly normal things, but if it wasn’t like that, you might not have realized it.
16. You’re ready to take a big step
When people in a relationship aren’t ready to take a big step, it’s a problem.
Depending on the relationship, that step could be anything.
While you were just dating, it was committing, meeting the family, getting engaged, and getting married.
You did all those things, but it doesn’t mean that it’s over with big steps.
Maybe you want to buy a home, go back to college, change jobs, move to another country…
These are huge decisions and it’s only natural to be a little scared… But you and your spouse hadn’t taken any big steps after getting married.
I’m not talking about having children. That’s something there’s no exact time frame for, and it’s okay to be ready or not.
However, your spouse and you couldn’t take any big steps before now. You simply weren’t ready for a change and felt stuck.
One of the signs God is working on your marriage is if you’re ready now.
Have faith in Him, but learn how to fix a broken marriage if you’re having issues.