Have you ever wondered whether it’s possible to use reverse psychology on a man? Does it really work or is it a waste of time?
Maybe you laid your eyes on that one special guy. You tried every possible solution that could make him fall for you bot nothing seemed to work.
Perhaps you want him to commit to you but you’re too scared to ask him. Or you even want to make your ex-boyfriend get back with you without asking him directly because it makes you look desperate.
In the meantime, you’ve come across the art of reverse psychology and you want to know whether it really works.
Can you use this technique to make a certain man fall for you, without telling him what you actually want from him?
Let’s be honest. Reverse psychology is seen as a form of manipulation. Why? Because it’s a way of playing mind games with a specific person you want to use it on. You say the opposite of what you expect them to do and they’ll do what you actually wanted from them.
When you want to make someone do something or behave the way you want, instead of making direct requests which you know won’t turn out the way you want, you simply use reverse psychology to get things your way.
It’s based on the reactance theory which generally means that as human beings, we love to believe that we aren’t controlled by other people’s opinions.
We love to believe that we have complete freedom over our actions.
We hate seeing that our freedom of choice is being taken away from us so we make sure to do the opposite of what we’re told to do.
Think about it.
There are usually two types of people: compliant and resistant.
Compliant people do as they’re told when they’re given an order.
They simply obey the rules, which is why reverse psychology doesn’t work on them.
But on the flip side, resistant people feel the need to rebel and behave by their own will, opposite to what they are told to do.
If you’re a resistant type of person and you see a sign that says ‘Keep off the grass‘ the chances are you’ll feel the need to walk on it.
Once you’re told to do something, your personality type makes you do the exact opposite, which gives you a feeling of being in control.
So, let’s say that it’s a Friday night and you want a guy to take you on a date. You know that he’s stubborn and doesn’t want to be told what to do.
Every time you ask him to do something for you, he usually does the exact opposite.
So, you’ve tried everything – from giving him subtle hints that you want him to do something for you, to being quiet and letting him come up with ideas of his own.
But nothing ever worked and reverse psychology became your last resort.
Now, instead of asking him to have a date night, you simply tell him, “Let’s not go out tonight. Having a date night would mean that I have to get ready and where could we even go?”
By doing this, you’re giving him two options, while accentuating the one that you actually want him to choose.
Also, you’re giving him the problem of where he could take you, which makes him feel that he has a task to come up with a solution.
And that’s how you can make reverse psychology work on a man.
How to use reverse psychology on a man and get him to do whatever you want
Now that you know how it works and that you can use it on a man, let me show you various tips that may be helpful when you’re trying to get things to go your way.
1. Figure out whether your man is a suitable personality type for the purposes of reverse psychology
You don’t want it to backfire on you so before taking the first step, make sure to know whether he’s the type of person who’s suitable for this method.
I already mentioned that there are two types of people: complaint and resistant.
If your man belongs to the latter category then you can use reverse psychology.
Resistant and stubborn people are more likely to fall under the influence of your words.
If they love to have things their way, then you stand high chances of succeeding.
That’s why you should first try to understand how your man acts in times of making decisions. Does he listen to your advice or does he go his own way?
Is it easy for him to agree with other people? Or maybe he tends to resist other possible options only because he wants to have things his way?
Once you figure this out, you’ll be able to know whether there’s a point in even trying to use reverse psychology on your man.
If you know that he doesn’t have a problem with doing things differently from what he wants, then there’s no point in trying this technique.
You could probably ask him politely and he would make your wish come true.
But if you realize that he’s a tough nut to crack and that he usually ignores other people just so he can make decisions on his own, then you can try using reverse psychology on your man.
If he’s really a resistant type, the chances are that you’ll be able to manipulate him into doing what you want much more easily.
2. Present him with an option
Now that you have serious intentions of trying to use reverse psychology on a guy, you first need to start by giving him an option – something you know he’ll usually resist.
You know that he already has an idea, but you need to give him something else to trigger his resistance.
Let’s say that you’re trying to make him watch a movie that everyone’s been raving about.
You want the two of you to watch it together but you also know that the genre is far from his favorite.
Instead of giving up on your idea from the very beginning, you’re going to be sneaky about it.
So, what is it that you can do right now to convince your man to do what you want from him?
First of all, find out what he wants to see. Be aware of your opponent.
Now, mention the name of the movie you want to watch and say something like this, “Jane told me about it. She says that it has great reviews and that I have to watch it.”
Now, tell him a few good things about the movie or even let him see the trailer. But remember not to be pushy about it.
Don’t break in the middle of the process and beg him to watch it because you really like it and want to see it.
Instead, stay calm and just subtly tell him about all of the good sides of the film you want to see. When you’re done, retreat into a neutral zone.
You’ve planted the seed. All you can do now is wait.
3. With the help of subtle hints, make the other option more alluring
When you’re using reverse psychology on a man, the next step is to make him feel that your option is a better choice.
You can do that through subtle hints, so he doesn’t feel like you’re being too pushy.
You can mention some of the good parts of the movie to him, show him the best scenes, or tell him the experience your friend had while watching it.
Anything that can make him feel like he actually wants to see it because it sounds interesting.
Again, try to remember that you aren’t supposed to be too intense when it comes to this part.
Don’t ever beg him to do what you want because it only gives him a stronger reason to do the exact opposite.
So, be creative and really make him interested in your choice. Let him see that you’re actually giving him a good option.
Don’t worry if you see that he still isn’t giving in. His pride won’t let him do that at that time.
If he’s a resistant type of person who loves to have things his own way, this won’t be the right time to give up on his option.
Instead, it will only make him feel as if he lost control and let you make a choice. And people like this hate that feeling.
But if you stay patient, you’ll see what will happen later on.
4. Argue against your option
You gave him an option, made it sound interesting, and now it’s time to drop it completely. Sounds crazy I know but bear with me.
Now that you have him genuinely interested in the option, you want to give up on it yourself if you want to use reverse psychology on a man.
Now you might say something like this, “I know that everyone’s raving about this movie but I don’t think it sounds good at all. I mean, it looks lame, don’t you agree?”
Boom! The bomb has dropped.
By doing this, you’re letting your man know that you now don’t even want to watch it in the first place.
And if there’s nothing that makes you want to see the film, then there’s also nothing that holds him back from choosing it.
If he picks it, it won’t feel like he did so because he was listening to your opinion. How could it be like that when you don’t even want to see it, right?
You see what you did there.
You told him about your option, made it seem interesting, but you knew that he couldn’t pick it because you wanted him to. So, you simply gave up on it.
Now, he has the freedom of choice to pick whatever he wants.
And because you made your option sound interesting, the chances are that he’ll go with that one.
Who could know that things would end up like this?
5. Let him make the final decision
Now, it’s finally time to make the final decision. And when you’re trying to use reverse psychology on a man, he needs to be the one who has the final say.
So, tell him that you’re okay if he makes the choice because you have no preference. Whatever he chooses will be a good option.
This gives your man freedom of choice and because you already made him interested in the topic, he’ll probably choose your option.
It’s not like you asked him to choose it. Instead, he made sure to do it on his own, without feeling like he made your wish come true.
6. Try not to be too available
If you’re trying to use reverse psychology on your man because you want him to dedicate more time to you, then you should opt for this technique to get what you want.
You know how you’re always there for him. Even if you’re busy, you have no problem putting everything aside and focusing on him.
But when you expect him to do the same for you, he’s nowhere around.
Even when you need him the most, if you ask him to be there for you, he always looks for an excuse.
Now, you want him to act differently but you’ve realized that asking him to pay more attention to you doesn’t work.
It actually makes him feel like he’s being controlled.
That’s why you should try this method of reverse psychology on your man.
Instead of postponing everything because of him, try not to do anything like that anymore.
If you’ve already made plans, stick to them and let him be the one who’s waiting for you.
Let him see that you have your own life and that you won’t always be able to run into his arms when he calls you.
Instead of choosing him every time, choose yourself for a change. Be your own priority.
When you do that, you’re actually making him want you more than before.
You’re showing him that you’re a strong woman who can function on her own. You don’t need a guy to lead a happy life.
That’s how reverse psychology works on men; when you don’t let them get everything they want, they actually start fighting harder for it. And that’s exactly what you’re looking for.
From now on, he’ll be the one who calls and texts you all the time. He’ll start initiating your date nights and he’ll dedicate more of his time to you.
If you had only known that it was this simple, you would have been able to do it a long time ago. It would have saved you from all those sleepless nights.
I guess that you learn something new every day…
7. Stay calm while using reverse psychology on a man
The first time you try to use reverse psychology on a man, you’ll probably feel nervous.
What if he realizes what you’re doing? What if he gets upset and accuses you of manipulating him?
They are possible scenarios but as long as you know what you’re doing, everything will be fine.
However, know that if you lose control over your thoughts, you might slip up and fall into a trap.
And if your man realizes that you were trying to manipulate him, you can say bye-bye to your relationship.
8. Avoid overdoing it
Using reverse psychology on a man can be a great way of getting things that you want.
But it doesn’t always work and you certainly shouldn’t be using it on a daily basis.
If you’re up for Chinese food tonight and your man wants Indian, you could get your own way with the help of reverse psychology.
But if you keep using it all the time, and when you can’t go a day without trying to manipulate him to get things the way you want, then you’re in trouble.
Overdoing it can be seriously dangerous for a relationship and can make both partners suffer.
Let’s be honest – how would you feel if you realized that your partner had been playing mind games with you just to get things his way? It doesn’t sound nice, right?
So, make sure to know what you’re doing and try to control yourself.
It’s nice to call the shots, but it certainly doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship when you’re always manipulating your partner to get what you want.
9. Avoid using reverse psychology in serious situations
When it comes to dealing with serious situations, you should never use reverse psychology to get things your way.
I know that it would feel amazing to have everything the way you want all the time, but that’s just not the way life works.
Let’s say that you and your partner are talking about taking the next step in your relationship.
Maybe he needs more time while you already feel ready and want to get things going right now.
If you use reverse psychology on him then, it means that you’re going to push him into something he isn’t ready for.
And sooner or later, that will backfire on you.
If he finds out that you lured him in, he’s probably going to get upset.
He might even break up with you because he feels that you played with him to get things the way you want.
So, no matter how appealing it looks, don’t ever choose to play with serious things.
In those cases, forget about reverse psychology and pretend like it doesn’t exist.
You know what they say – ‘It’s better to be safe than sorry‘.
And trust me, if you use reverse psychology while dealing with more serious things, you could end up being sorry.
Negative effects of reverse psychology!
Don’t ever forget that reverse psychology is a form of manipulation.
No matter why you’re using it, you’re still manipulating your man’s feelings in order to get what you want.
That’s why I want you to be familiar with the negative effects of this technique.
Trust me, there are many things that can be ruined just because you decide to use reverse psychology on your man.
It can ruin your relationship and damage trust forever.
If your partner finds out that you’ve been playing games with him, he’ll probably get really upset.
He trusted you and then you showed him that he was just a toy that you played with. He’s a pawn that you’ve been using to get things your own way.
It feels disheartening to find this out.
That’s how using reverse psychology on a man can actually make him lose trust in you and ruin your relationship forever.
Your man may feel insulted or humiliated.
If he realizes that you’ve been manipulating his choices, your guy can feel offended.
He might feel like you’re treating him like a child, and no one wants to feel that way.
He may also think that you humiliated him by making him do what you wanted, without actually asking him to.
If only you had let him know what you wanted from him, the situation wouldn’t have escalated this far.
If reverse psychology backfires on you, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth forever.
When you feel the consequences of your deeds once, you’ll feel the bad taste in your mouth for the rest of your life.
Sometimes, our mistakes cost us more than we expect them to, and this one might be one of them.
You might be sorry about the things you did because you know how it feels when your actions hit you like a boomerang.