Think aloud
When your ex broke up with you, you thought the two of you would never talk to each other again. You picked up the pieces of your broken heart and glued them back together. You did your best to forget about the two of you. What are the reasons why your ex contacts you out of the blue, then?
Small talk never bothered you, but you don’t understand why your ex would contact you to talk about the weather. You weren’t the one to break things off and you sure aren’t going to be the one to fix them. You weren’t the one to move out and move on first.
We can’t tell you precisely what your ex was thinking when he picked up the phone to text you, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are a lot of reasons why your ex might be contacting you right now.
Maybe the two of you didn’t end things on a good note and he was wondering whether he could change that. Perhaps the two of you never got the chance to talk about the breakup and he was hoping to get the closure he needs to move on.
More often than not, exes decide to reach out when they’re reflecting on the relationship, missing you, wanting to get back together, or even wanting to have one more night with you. What’s even worse, exes oftentimes reach out to you when they hear you’ve moved one.
What are the reasons why your ex contacts you after the break up although the two of you agreed to never speak to each other ever again? Whether the decision to split was a mutual one or you ended things on a sour note, you might need some help to decide what to do.
10 reasons why your ex contacts you
1. He misses you
One of the most obvious reasons why your ex contacts you might be the possibility that he simply misses you. Of course, there’s always a chance that the two of you aren’t going to get back together anyway – but your ex might not have gotten that memo.
We do need to mention that the content of the messages matters, too. Maybe your ex decided to text you to arrange to drop off your belongings. Perhaps he wanted to reach out because he didn’t want to end things on a bad note. We don’t know that for sure.
However, when your ex reaches out to talk about the silly little things you used to do together, to check up on you, or to see whether you moved on, that’s a telltale sign that he misses you.
2. He heard you have someone new
What’s worse than wanting to get back together with someone and figuring out that they’ve already moved on? Whenever you move on from a breakup, you receive a slew of texts from guys pining over you, asking you out on a date, or wanting to talk to you. Well, you might get a text from your ex, too.
When your ex hears that you’ve been out and about with another guy, he might be compelled to scope them out and compare himself to your new lover. While that might sound a little silly, men have a bad reputation for stepping in and messing things up every time they’re threatened by another man.
To be honest, they’re pretty similar to cats – they’re more territorial than you might think.
3. He wants an ego boost
Breakups are hard, but there’s one thing almost all breakups share – nobody wants to see the other person move on before them. When you go through a traumatic breakup, you want nothing more than to get better, become hotter, and move on with someone who resembles one of the Hemsworth brothers.
Maybe your new boyfriend doesn’t look like a Hemsworth, but that doesn’t mean that your ex doesn’t want to rip the poor guy to shreds. Your ex might be contacting you because he wants to talk smack about your new boyfriend. You might not see it that way, but your ex is desperate for an ego boost.
We’d argue that he probably wants to hear from your mouth that you miss him and that you’re trying to get his attention by going out with another guy. Good luck with that!
4. He’s struggling to move on
We don’t mean to be sorry for your ex, but maybe he’s struggling to move on. When you break up with someone, you go through a myriad of stages of grief.
Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression are important parts of moving on, and they’re all there to prepare you for the final stage – acceptance. Your ex might contact you to see whether there’s a chance the two of you can work things out.
You might not be ready to talk to him about your breakup, but you might need to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to what he has to say. You don’t have to take him back, but you might need to go easy on him.
5. He’s worried about you
One of the reasons why your ex contacts you after the breakup might be that he’s worried about your well-being. Whether you broke up with him or he pulled the plug, he might be worried about how you’re dealing with the breakup and how you’re taking care of yourself.
Truth be told, certain people honestly and genuinely care about the well-being of others.
The two of you shared a beautiful relationship before you decided to call it quits, and it’s only natural that you’re still in love with each other. The love you felt for each other didn’t disappear, it shifted and changed into something else.
6. He wants to have a fight with you
We know that sounds silly, but sometimes you simply want to have a fight after the breakup to get rid of some of that built-up anger and resentment. You want to call your ex, start a fight, and scream your little heart out because you’re hurt. You want to express your bitterness and speak from your heart.
When your ex contacts you out of the blue and starts accusing you of all the stuff you did wrong, there’s a chance that he might be trying to do that. You might not agree with the way he’s handling things, but he probably doesn’t know how to deal with what he’s going through. You need to cut him some slack.
7. He’s reminiscing about the good old times
Perhaps your ex stumbled upon a picture of the two of you celebrating your second anniversary and decided that you needed to see the picture, too. Maybe he was walking down memory lane when he remembered something funny you told him and wanted to share a laugh with you, too.
When your ex texts you about something that the two of you shared, that doesn’t mean that he wants you back. We all go through tough times and we want to share them with someone close to us. We know that the two of you broke up, and your ex knows that, too – but he probably needed some comfort.
8. He wants to annoy you
There’s no easy way to say that. There comes a time when you and your one true love become each other’s worst enemies and that’s when you might receive a text message meant to annoy you, anger you, or even get you to react.
Whether you dumped your ex or you did something that prompted him to call it quits, he might decide to text you every now and then out of spite.
He wants to see how you’re doing. He wants to make sure he’s doing better than you. He wants to remind you of what a great guy he is and what a great mistake you made by letting him go. You’re better off blocking him than dealing with his messages, but that’s up to you to decide.
9. He still has feelings for you
Let’s be honest here. If you’re getting random, late-night texts from your ex asking you about your day, talking about the weather, or making small talk, your ex is probably texting you because he still has feelings for you and needs to talk to you. It’s about time you face the truth and react.
What if your ex texts you and says they’re still in love with you? What are you going to do? If you don’t feel the same, don’t lead him on. If you do, tell him the truth and talk it through.
10. He wants you back
We’re ending the article on a positive note, sort of. When your ex reaches out to you after the breakup, he’s probably texting you to spark up a conversation that might lead to him trying to win you back.
He might start complimenting you, talking about the good old times, and wondering if you would consider seeing him in person. He might go the other way and stick to small talk for the time being.
Whatever strategy your ex decides to go with, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to get back together with him. Wait and watch for positive signs in his behavior and keep your fingers crossed!