Can we ever stop chasing after unavailable men? I’m not even talking about the fact that some women are going after men in relationships who obviously aren’t interested.
There are other men who are also emotionally unavailable. They forget what love and affection feel like, because of their past. That’s when you start to wonder what he’d be like if he was actually a nice guy.
Do you even understand why you’re so attracted to men like that? You’re probably waiting on a text from him right now without even knowing why you’re so lovestruck.
Everyone says that it’s a savior complex. As if you just really want to save them from the darkness that keeps coming into their lives. However, there are many other reasons, too.
One is that you’re so used to being around unstable and emotionally unavailable people that you simply find it to be the norm. Those moments when he’s kind and considerate are like Christmas to you.
But let’s be honest for a moment. Are you listening? Good.
You. Don’t. Need. A. Guy. Like. That. You deserve so much better!
You’ve probably heard this from your friends as well, but you never listen. I genuinely believe that you only need someone to tell you a few tips and tricks on how to actually stop chasing after unavailable men. Once you master this art, you’ll find someone worthy of your time and effort.
Until then, let’s find out how you can kick this habit once and for all.
1. Realize the pattern
There’s always a pattern to this type of behavior. Men who are emotionally unavailable tend to have something that you’re interested in, to the point where they intrigue you enough to make you fall for them.
You can watch for the smallest similarities between them. Do you keep falling for men who think that relationships aren’t for them? Do you want to prove him wrong when he tells you that love doesn’t exist?
Or have you just been waiting for someone to get out of a relationship in order to show them that they can be treated right?
There’s a specific pattern that you keep falling for without even realizing it. It’s important that you identify what’s happening because otherwise, you’ll never find a way out of this.
Once you define what this pattern is for you, it’ll be so much easier to rationalize your emotions for someone. Do you actually like him or is he merely someone who seems a little damaged?
2. Don’t settle for the bare minimum
The next thing you need to do in order to stop chasing after unavailable men is to realize you need to raise your standards. You’ve been accepting the bare minimum! Do you genuinely believe that this is how a woman of your caliber should operate? Absolutely not.
Stop settling for the minimum, because that’s merely basic human decency. We get so excited when someone loves us 50% because when you love yourself 30%, 50% seems like a lot. However, that’s just half of their love.
Maybe these men can’t love you more, but at least be aware of their potential. Don’t be delusional and believe that you’ll awaken love from somewhere within him.
When you start to steadily raise your standards, you’ll see that so many men don’t make the cut. And that’s completely okay. Just also always remember that the one man who’s meant for you is rare and you should never settle for less just because he’s taking his time.
3. Work on your confidence
What do you need in your life in order to feel more confident? I’d like to believe that confidence is a skill, and like any other skill, it has to be developed. You can’t just expect to know how to code if you’ve never even practiced!
You need to learn what makes you feel confident. If there’s really nothing that makes you feel like you’re the most amazing woman in this world, then I’m sorry to say, you have bigger issues on your hands! You simply can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.
You can’t ever let someone love you and treat you right if you feel like you don’t deserve that. So, stop the self-deprecation and start embracing your confidence. If anything, it’ll repel those stupid men who aren’t ready to face your opinions.
Be loud. Take up space. Show them that you’re not scared to speak up about your opinions.
I can guarantee you that all those insecure men will pack their stuff and you won’t even be able to chase after them.
Does that scare you? Well, too bad. They weren’t worthy of your attention either way.
4. Get rid of the fear of being single
The main stumbling block to stopping chasing after an unavailable man is that you’re petrified of being single. You think that the world will end if you don’t have someone to share it with.
That’s simply the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! Okay, this sounds very aggressive, but I’m just trying to get a point across.
What I’m trying to tell you is that you’ll run into any type of relationship without even being sure that you want that person. You’re just sure that you want to have someone to take care of so they can affirm that you’re still a good person.
Be honest. Doesn’t that sound sad? An emotionally unavailable man simply isn’t the right guy for you if you’re looking for something serious.
Do you want to waste the rest of your life with someone who’s ready to break someone’s heart above working on his own issues? I mean, you can, but you definitely shouldn’t.
The right guy won’t hesitate to commit to you from the very first day and he’ll show you his unconditional love. You just need to stop blocking your blessings or he won’t find his way to you.