Think aloud
“My ex wants nothing to do with me. Is it really over between us?”
The question many people with broken hearts keep asking themselves over and over again. Knowing that the person you love and want to be with doesn’t want to share his life with you anymore can really feel like a stab right to the heart.
You shared so much and you’ll still not over this person, but he said to you that he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a devastating feeling and it might even seem to you as if there’s no hope for you two to reconcile.
When you face a problem like this, many questions will certainly rise to the surface. Thinking “My ex wants nothing to do with me” might be an indication to turn a new page in your life, but it just doesn’t feel right to you.
You want him so much and you want to turn the tables around so that he realizes how happy he was when the two of you were together.
That’s why in this article, I’ll be talking about the possible reasons your ex wants nothing to do with you, as well as the signs that he is over you. Later, I’ll mention a couple of ways that can increase your chances of getting him back if that’s what you really want.
But for now, you have to ask yourself some serious questions. Be honest to yourself and think about what you truly want in your life. Also, think about how far you’re willing to go to achieve that. Even though it might seem to you that your ex is over you, nothing is impossible in love, if you really want it.
Can I get him back if he’s over me?
I know that this question is frustrating you because you just don’t know what’s going on inside his head. You’re simply unable to know his thought process, so that’s why this breakup period is really upsetting you and making you question your self-worth.
Sometimes you can’t know everything about him judging by behavior alone. It may appear from the outside as if he’s moved on, but in reality, he’s just trying to escape the unbearable pain of losing you.
It could be that he’s putting on a show and pretending to be totally fine, but he most likely isn’t. The truth is, pain doesn’t just magically go away after a breakup. You can’t control your emotions and flip a switch so you don’t feel pain anymore. Even if he was the one who broke up with you, he’s still suffering from losing you.
Whatever you think that he’s feeling right now, you need to keep your head cool and not panic. Even if this doesn’t seem to make sense, you don’t know what his behavior really means.
My ex wants nothing to do with me. Why is that so?
Even though you’re in a dark place right now, don’t lose hope. As I mentioned before, miracles can happen when it comes to love, you just have to believe in it.
To better understand his decision, here are a couple of reasons why your ex decided he wants nothing to do with you.
1. He doesn’t believe that you’ve changed or will ever change
Many people when they face a breakup and their emotions are all over the place, they’ll rather focus on getting their ex back, without taking a moment to think about what caused the breakup in the first place.
Eventually, when you get a chance to have a conversation with him, the way he interacts with you, his attitude and behavior are exactly the same as it was before.
But why does that happen?
Well, perhaps your ex-boyfriend senses that you haven’t changed a bit or that you’re unable to change at all. And when he sees that, he’ll never give you another chance, no matter how much you want it.
This is why you have to show him – not just with words, but in actions too – that you’ve already made some impressive changes about yourself and improved some of the things that matter to him.
For example, it may be that he always had a problem with your lack of confidence and it eventually drove him away.
But during the post-breakup period, you did some soul-searching and realized things about yourself that improved your overall confidence.
When your ex-boyfriend realizes that you made significant self-adjustments (I’m not talking about physical changes, but rather mental and emotional ones), then you’ll have his attention because he knows you won’t go back to making the same mistakes as before.
2. You’re offering him things he’s not interested in
In most cases, when someone breaks up with you, you get caught up trying to get your ex back as quickly as possible.
As a consequence, you fail to make necessary adjustments to your thinking, attitude, or behavior in ways that’ll eventually re-attract him.
As a result, you might end up offering him things that he doesn’t really care about and that will only push him further away from you.
After you face a breakup, you have to give yourself enough time to do some self-analysis and think about the things that need improvement.
Don’t make impulsive decisions and don’t immediately search how to get your ex back. It’s not worth it, since you’ll repeat the same mistakes once you get back together again.
On the other hand, if you take some time for yourself and think about what went wrong, and acknowledge your missteps, then you can make the necessary changes and become better and more mature.
And the more you give your ex the kind of attraction experience he always wanted from you, the less the chances of him breaking up with you again.
3. You still don’t know the real reasons for him breaking up with you
Most relationships don’t end because of the big things such as arguments or cheating, but rather the small, subtle things that built up over time and broke the bond you two once shared.
For example, a guy may end things with you because you judge him too much. Or you talk down to him and disrespect him.
Perhaps you’re trying to change something about him that he doesn’t feel is necessary to change. Or it could be that he feels insecure when you test him.
That’s why you must get to the bottom of what really caused you two to break up.
Once you do that, you’ll be able to address and improve those things. Finally, when you do get the chance to talk to him and when he sees how different you actually are, then he’ll begin to respect you more and he’ll be attracted to you again.
After he experiences the new you, he won’t be able to hold back his feelings for you. He’ll be drawn to you again.
When that happens, he’ll forget about those bad moments he had with you and be open up to the idea of getting back together with you.
4. You begged for too long
The shock you experience when going through a breakup can certainly force you to do things you never thought you were capable of doing.
And the thought of losing a guy forever can certainly make you react in a way that you wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Suddenly, you panic and beg him to change his mind, to give your love another chance.
Perhaps you thought about sending him a long, sad message of how you can’t picture your life without him and how you’re sorry for everything you did, even though you aren’t the blame for your breakup.
Although this is not an ideal reaction for a woman to have, you shouldn’t be ashamed if you surrender to your emotions and really do this. It’s not the end of the world.
As long as you realize that this begging or pleading won’t get you anywhere, then you can recover from your mistake.
Then you can focus on saying and doing things that will make a difference and reignite the feelings he had for you. Sooner or later, he’ll be baffled by the new you and he’ll start to chase you again.
If your only approach to getting your ex back is pleading and begging him to change his mind, then you’ll reduce your chances unintentionally by appearing clingy or needy. And that’s a huge turn-off.
5. He sees no reason to give your love another chance
Unless you’re actively doing and saying things that will reignite your ex’s romantic feelings for you, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll ever get back together with you.
Rather than sitting all day in your room and crying over him because he left you, pick yourself up and do things that will ignite his emotions for you. Of course, this only applies if you really want to get back together with him.
Making your ex feel respected, attracted, and excited is the surest way to get him back.
Instead of worrying about what he may say to you and whether or not he’ll reject you, initiate a conversation with him and make him feel attracted to you again.
Don’t just sit around feeling discouraged and accepting what he says to you. If you do that, he won’t have any reason to give your love another chance and you’ll lose him forever.
How do I know that my ex wants nothing to do with me?
If you’re unsure whether or not your ex might be over you, then there are a couple of signs that can help you determine where he’s at with his feelings for you.
1. He’s cold whenever you talk to him
The old, thoughtful boyfriend is long gone. When you get the chance to talk to him, he instead seems distant and cold. He acts like a stranger who wants nothing to do with you.
This could be an indication that he’s really over you and the feelings he had for you have disappeared completely.
On the flip side, it could mean that he still has feelings for you, but doesn’t want to face them, or he’s trying to force himself to get you out of his heart.
Men are excellent at compartmentalizing their emotions, and what he may be doing to you is putting his emotions in a large box and sealing it away so he doesn’t suffer. Many women can’t do this since they’re more emotional than men.
This depends entirely on the context of the situation. Don’t just assume if you recognize this sign that he’s really over you.
If he’s really cold toward you, maybe he’s still upset about things that happened in your relationship and how you didn’t realize you made a mistake. He might just need more time to deal with his emotions.
The worst mistake you can make here is to try to apologize and try to get him to be emotionally responsive. If you do that, you’ll make everything worse. Just give him space – but not for that long that you end up losing him for good.
2. He’s blocked you on social media
Even though there’s an option to re-follow someone, being unfriended or blocked still feels strangely permanent. But don’t worry about this too much. By blocking you, he’s trying everything he can to physically distance himself from you.
Being physically distant is rather hard to do in today’s age, especially with the rise of social media apps.
Granted, you may not speak with each other anymore, but you can still know what he’s doing or where he’s been thanks to social media.
So, if your ex-boyfriend rally wants nothing to do with you and is trying to fully move on from you, then he’ll unfriend or block you on social media.
He’ll completely cut you off because he doesn’t want to be reminded of you at every twist and turn. It’s too painful for him and it makes him question his decision to leave you.
3. He’s moved away
Whether he graduated or got a new job, it really doesn’t matter.
If he moved away, that’s an obvious clue that he has no desire to get back together with you. He’s most likely moved on from you and wants to add another obstacle to the mix.
You’ll need to take this into consideration when you’re thinking about getting back together with your ex. Long-distance relationships are hard enough even when things are going pretty well.
And trying to reignite the spark when you’re miles apart is be extremely difficult.
4. He’s found a new girlfriend
“I think that my ex wants nothing to do with me, but I’m not sure.”
Well, if you two have been apart for a while and now he’s dating someone else, then he’s most likely moved on.
But even if he’s a new relationship, that doesn’t always mean he doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore. Perhaps he rushed into a new relationship because he can’t stand being alone.
Or he thinks that he’s moved on, but it’s possible that he’s in a rebound relationship.
The faster he gets into a new relationship, the more likely he misses you in his life.
He’s only trying to cover up his pain and drown his sorrow with someone else. Finding someone new helps him fill his emotional void and gives him instant relief.
At the same time, it boosts his confidence and he feels more desirable. His emotional and physical needs are met, even if it’s a short-term fling.
He’s basically using the girl as his escape from reality because he can’t deal with his own thoughts and emotions.
But he can’t run forever. Sooner or later, he’ll have to face them and he’ll probably realize he wants what he had with you back.
5. He gives you the silent treatment
The truth is, if you never hear from him anymore and he refuses to speak to you, then he has probably moved on and wants nothing to do with you.
And if you do on the rare occasion speak, you’re the first to reach out and initiate the conversation. He may reply to your message in a friendly manner, but he won’t be the one who makes the first move.
That’s when you know he’s giving you the silent treatment. He’s trying to distance himself from you, while on the other hand, you’re doing everything you can to get him back.
The best thing you can do to get his attention is to follow the no-contact rule for a period of at least four weeks.
If he does return to you, then you know that it worked. And if he doesn’t, then you’ll be able to fully move on after the breakup. Either way, you end up in a happier and better place.
Also, if he’s been giving you the silent treatment, it could be that he’s decided to go no-contact himself.
6. He doesn’t care if you’re dating someone
Jealousy can be a very powerful emotion. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing to show a bit of jealousy because it can be considered proof that you care about that person too.
But it’s not strange for one ex to be jealous of the other when they’re dating someone new. You might be jealous because you miss your ex and this new person makes you feel insecure about yourself.
So, if you’re dating someone new and your ex knows about it yet doesn’t seem to care at all, then he’s definitely over you and wants nothing to do with you.
He’s completely indifferent and unbothered by the fact that you’ve got a new man in your life and he might even be happy for you.
Either way, this is a clear indication that the two of you are working to keep your relationship in the past.
7. He’s asked you to return his things
If an ex isn’t totally over you, he might leave stuff at your place as a reason to see you again. But if everything is done and dusted and he’s already taken all of his things back, or if he refuses to pick them up, then consider your time with him over.
He won’t leave business unfinished if he’s eager to forget about you.
8. He seems genuinely happy with his life
“My ex wants nothing to do with me and he looks so happy. What does it mean?”
Well, it could mean that nothing is missing from his life (including you). Perhaps he’s genuinely happy with his choice and doesn’t miss you at all.
If his heart yearned for you, then he might express some regret or dissatisfaction in his life right now. He would probably show it on social media or use mutual friends to prove he misses you.
But if you’re hearing or seeing that he’s truly happy with his life, then try to be happy for him. After all, you don’t need him to be satisfied with yourself.
My ex wants nothing to do with me. What do I do?
If you’re really eager to get your ex back, then first you have to analyze what went wrong. What were the reasons you two broke up? Write these things down on a piece of paper so you can work on them later on.
That said, the most useful thing you can do is to follow the no-contact rule. While it may seem to you as counterintuitive to break off any contact with your ex, it actually helps you get him back.
When your ex realizes that he doesn’t have you anymore and that his life is empty without you, he’ll come running back to you. The moment he fears losing you is the moment he’ll want you back.
Even though this sounds super simple, it’s actually quite difficult to follow. You can’t contact him for at least thirty days. During that period, don’t forget to work on living your best life and becoming the best version of yourself.
