Think aloud
“My ex texted me after a week of no contact. What should I do?”
There are two possible scenarios when going no contact with your ex – either you move on or you get back together.
It might be that you’ll never speak to him after the breakup. Although, you still might get a message from your ex after a week of no contact. It happens out of the blue, and you wonder why. Now you need to decide if you should text him back or not.
If he did something wrong, he may want to apologize to get back together. That’s why you could receive a message from him even this early on.
Unfortunately, most of the time, guys use this tactic just to see if you’re suffering. They want to know if the breakup hurts you just as much as it hurts them.
When he texts you after a week of no contact, and you ask yourself what you should do about it, I hope you take to heart my advice: Don’t answer his texts right away. This way you’ll get more time to see if he sincerely wants to get back together, or he just wants to soothe his injured ego a bit.
To get a better understanding of why he just texted you, get yourself a cup of coffee and keep on reading. The following text will help you realize what’s going on in your ex’s head.
“My ex texted me after a week of no contact”: Reasons why he broke the rule
The no contact rule is a defined amount of time (longer than a week; at least a month) during which you shouldn’t contact your ex in any way. Be it through text, call, social media, or in person. It’s because you should use this time to heal after the breakup and focus on yourself.
This time is also supposed to make your ex think about everything you’ve been through. It could also make him realize that he wants you back.
The no contact rule is not a meaningless endeavor. It has a purpose – to be 100 % sure whether or not it was a good idea to break up.
Unless you take this necessary time off, it’ll be harder for the both of you to get on the same page regarding your relationship.
Since your ex broke all of the rules by texting you, you now want to know what are the reasons for his behavior. After you get a better understanding of why he chose to send you a message, it will be easier to figure out your next step.
1. He’s concerned that you’ll forget him quickly
He’ll lose his mind once he realizes you’re not chasing after him once he’s out the door. He assumed that you would be calling and texting him all the time, but it’s been a week and he hasn’t heard back from you.
Does it mean that you’re over him? Have you moved on and forgotten about him while he’s still constantly thinking about you? These are the thoughts that are going through his mind right now.
You can utilize the no contact rule perfectly in this situation and make him suffer even more! Your absence and cool demeanor will certainly drive him crazy.
Trust me, this is something you’re looking for because he didn’t deserve any better. He won’t receive any of your attention anymore – the attention he got so used to receiving.
He wants to see you suffering after the breakup but unfortunately for him, that won’t happen. At this point, he’s the only one who’s desperate since he stooped so low and texted you after a week of being apart.
This is your chance to show him that he can’t win you over that easily. When he sees you behaving like this, he’ll be dumbfounded. He’ll be surprised that you don’t care anymore and it’ll put him in a frenzy.
2. He’s nervous because you’re quiet
Breakups aren’t easy to handle for anyone, not even for a guy. We get used to our partners, and living without them is a big change we need to adapt to.
He may feel disoriented in this new situation that he’s found himself in. Especially if he’s somewhat older than you. Changes – whether in work or relationships – are not so welcome as we get older because we want to settle down.
Obviously, he didn’t manage to use the chance he had, and he’ll start thinking about the choices he’s made. When he sees that you’re gone, and you don’t care anymore, he’ll lose faith in love.
Besides all of this, you won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you desperate. It’ll look like you’re getting out of this as a winner. And we all know how terrible it feels to end up as a loser.
That’s why he’s trying to contact you to convince himself the game isn’t over yet. He was the one with the leading score, and now he’s behind.
He’s nervous that he could be losing you forever and just wants to make sure that he still has a chance to get you back. A guy who told you that he would never ask you to get back with him is the same one who’s texting you after a week of no contact.
Look how the tables have turned.
3. He needs an ego boost
“My ex texted me after a week of no contact and I’m struggling to figure out why.”
Well, since he’s so edgy, he’ll try to text you just to check if you’re still in love with him. He also hopes to see you struggling to reconcile with the breakup.
This is his way of getting an ego boost. He needs to know that you still want him, even if he was the one who broke your heart in two.
To figure out if you’re still attracted to him, he’ll simply text you even though it’s been only a week after the breakup. At this point, if you text him back saying that you want to get back together, he’ll be satisfied.
But if you try to stay away from him, he’ll start to think that he’s not up to your standards. He’ll feel angry for not hearing back from you.
That’s normal for a person who’s trying to get an ego boost from you. He did reach out first but he wasn’t ready to beg for a response.
No one likes to feel like they’re easy to replace. When we feel like we’re replaceable, we start to compare ourselves to others and that makes it harder to enter new relationships.
If he sees that you don’t contact him, or answer his messages, it will shake his self-esteem. It will make him realize that you’re not as desperate as he wanted you to be.
4. He wants you to come back to him
It’s not uncommon to see couples getting back together after some time off. Breakups can even be a good thing because people may realize how much they actually appreciate each other.
They see if they should fight for their relationship and if so, they reunite with a stronger bond than before.
This could happen to anyone. He may contact you because the breakup was impulsive. He probably took some time to cool down, and simply wants to speak to you again in a calmer state.
If this is true, your ex will send you a message to let you know he’s feeling sorry for the mistakes he’s made and wants to work on your relationship again.
If your ex texted you after a week of no contact, my advice is to wait a bit before answering. Be prepared that if you don’t answer right away, he may try to contact you in other ways.
These actions will signify that his intentions are clear and sincere. Then you’ll be able to decide whether you should text him back or not.
5. He wants to see if you’re okay because he genuinely cares
Sometimes we walk away from our partners, not because they’re bad people, but because the relationship didn’t have any chance of surviving. However, you still feel concerned about your ex.
He’ll probably feel sorry at times, too, and will want to contact you just to see if you’re doing okay. He genuinely cares and knows this breakup has been hard for both of you.
“My ex texted me after a week of no contact!” You yell these words as you’re talking to your friend since you’re 100% sure it means that he wants to get back to you.
But the thing is that he could’ve simply felt the need to check up on you. You’ve spent a lot of time together, so he won’t be able to suddenly stop caring about you.
Sometimes men contact women more than once after breaking up. This behavior can be suspicious to women because they assume men want to get back together.
But the truth is, they just care enough about you to see if you need anything. They’re aware that the post-breakup period can be depressing and stressful at the same time.
In this case, they’ll be careful what they write, so you don’t misinterpret them as if they’re trying to approach you again romantically.
6. He’s just curious about your life after him
Yes, your ex will text you if he’s concerned about you. But he will sometimes message you just to see what you’re doing, where you are, and if you’ve found a new partner.
If his message pops up and you hear your brain scream, “Why is my ex texting me after a week of no contact?!”, don’t freak out! He could just be curious about what’s going on in your life after he walked out of it.
Let’s be real, if he was feeling genuine love for you, he wouldn’t accept easily that he lost you. It would be hard for him to wait so long to hear from you again.
In this case, his curiosity makes him a bad person and he needs to stay out of your life. How can you know if he really cares or just wants to stick his nose into your business?
That’s why you shouldn’t text him back. What good can come out of sharing any info with such a person?
“What does he want now?” If you’re asking yourself this, no doubt that he’s just being a douche. Try not to let his messages affect you. Ignore your ex and don’t let him rob you of your inner peace.
7. He misses you
When you’re together, you’ll start your days by speaking to your boyfriend and finish them the same way. When two people are romantically involved, they share every moment with each other.
Talking to each other will feel natural, and you’ll get hooked on it quickly. Your partner becomes your best friend. He becomes the shoulder you can lean on and you go to him whenever you have a problem.
Imagine this going on for a long time, and suddenly, you find yourself without this person. Don’t you think this is hard for him right now?
My opinion is that he’s feeling devastated because it’s been a week since he texted you. This new situation he’s found himself in is unfamiliar, especially if he always wore his heart on his sleeve.
By the way, don’t automatically think that he’s texting you after a week because he wants to get back together. At least not for now.
He just feels the urge to talk to you like he did before. Maybe you had some misunderstanding as well, and he’s trying to make things better by speaking to you once in a while.
8. He’s thinking about you all the time
There’s no human on this planet immune to the effects of love. It permeates our whole being.
Whatever happened, it would be weird not to send or receive a message after one week. Because there’s no chance that he’s not thinking of you during those first couple of days after the breakup.
So if your ex texted you after a week of no contact, it’s no surprise to me! It was probably too tempting for him not to contact you whatsoever.
Whatever the reasons, his thoughts are so persistent that he has to take his phone out, and send the simplest “Hey, what’s up?” text. This may be a period of processing all that happened, and he’s seeking advice or closure from you.
There are probably a couple of unanswered questions, especially if he’s not quite sure of his decision to end your relationship. That’s why you’re constantly on his mind.
He can’t seem to stop thinking about you, no matter how hard he tries. And since he couldn’t find a better way to deal with his thoughts, he figured that he could simply reach out to you and see what will happen from there.
Who knows, maybe both of you had enough time to realize that your relationship could work out if you put more effort into it.
9. He can’t stand being alone
“The weirdest thing just happened! My ex texted me after a week of no contact and I get a feeling that the only reason why he’s doing it is that he’s not used to being alone. Could that be the case?”
Let me tell you that you could be 100% right!
When he was in a relationship with you, he had someone to hang out with every day. Even when his friends were occupied, he had you to go to. Needless to say, it’s a sad thing to lose your truest companion who gave you a kind word, praise, and support when you needed it.
The good, the bad; everything is easier when we’re not alone. Life’s hardships are easier to handle when you have your favorite person besides you.
That being said, If your ex texted you after a week of no contact, he’s probably lonely.
Although it’s not just loneliness. He also realizes how much you meant to him, in the end. Things will be different for him from now on. Your absence is now another problem he’ll have to deal with. And the magic of sharing a life with you – the woman any man would dream of – is gone.
Since this might be the case, you need to stick to the no contact rule. It’s better for both of you to adjust to being alone as soon as possible.
10. He wants you to know that he unblocked you
Many couples encounter this situation. In a moment of anger, it’s normal to block each other.
In your case, it could be that your ex reached for the “block” button, and now, he regrets it. He knows that his impulsive reaction is simply a sign of his immaturity.
And since he’s aware of the consequences, he wants to undo his move. So, he finally unblocked you but he doesn’t know how to let you know that.
At this point, a simple “What’s up?” message seems like a way to go. He’ll send you something like that just so you realize that you’re no longer blocked and that the two of you can interact with each other.
Phone calls are easier to ignore, cause you simply don’t have to answer them, but a text is somewhat different. You could ignore it but there’s no chance that you won’t see it.
That’s why he’s putting emphasis on texting. He wants to make sure that you’ll see his name on the screen after a week of radio silence.
11. He wants to know if you miss him, too
“I’m in shock! My ex texted me after a week of no contact! That’s the last thing I expected to happen. What does it even mean?”
One of the possible explanations is that your ex simply misses you. He misses having you around and he doesn’t know how to deal with those feelings.
Everything reminds him of you and he doesn’t know what to do about it. Since he’s looking for a way to help himself, he’s realized that he could text you just to see how you would react.
“I miss not having you around. Even though it’s only been a week, it truly feels like an eternity.”
If you answer his text message during the no contact, it will be obvious that you’re still not over him. And if you stay strong enough not to send him a message, he’ll think that you’ve moved on and it’ll hurt like hell.
Now, it’s up to you to figure out your next move. Think about if you miss him and if you want him to know that. Is it better to hide the truth from him or to be honest?
Also, observe his behavior after you reply (or don’t reply) to his text. Does it seem like he actually misses you or is he texting you only because he wants to feel missed?
12. He wants to manipulate you again
If you end up in a relationship with a toxic man, it’s a no-brainer that he’ll contact you despite the fact that you left him. Remember that men like him are dangerous!
He was obviously trying to do everything to hurt you during your relationship. Right now he’s doing the same thing again.
Do you understand that he actually takes pleasure in hurting you? I know, it seems unreal. You wonder how you even got into this awful situation.
He was trying to blame you for every problem that surfaced and just when you managed to snap out of it, he chose new ways to torture you.
Of course, when it hurts his inflated ego, he’ll try to keep up the pretense for a week that he doesn’t care if you don’t answer. But at some point, he’ll send you a message. He has this tiny, poor personality, and can’t stand seeing you happy without him.
He’ll try to make you swoon over him again with his charm, but please, don’t fall for it. If your toxic ex texted you after a week of no contact, you’ve been warned – don’t even think about answering!
