My Boyfriend Is Happier With His Friends: What’s The Catch?

“My boyfriend is happier with his friends, and I’m not really sure why. Am I too much of a burden to him? Does it mean I don’t make him happy?”

When you find yourself in a situation where you start to feel like you’re not making your partner happy, things can go downhill pretty fast. You start to question yourself, your relationship, and your boyfriend’s feelings for you.

“What’s going on? Am I doing something wrong?”

When you catch your SO having the time of his life with his buddies, you naturally feel happy that he’s got such close friends. But at the same time, you may get slightly jealous since he never acts the same way around you. Does it mean that he’s not feeling comfortable with you? Or is this an even more serious issue?

I understand how you’re feeling right now. You don’t want to be upset with him, but the idea that someone else gets to hear him laugh is making you sad. Shouldn’t you be the main reason for his happiness?

Let’s find out what’s going on and why it feels that your partner’s always in a better mood when he’s around his pals.

My boyfriend is happier with his friends! What’s going on?

Firstly, you have to realize that your boyfriend shouldn’t have to cut his friends off just because he’s now in a relationship. He’s known these people probably for much longer than he knows you, and they’ve been an important part of his life.

They’ve stuck with him through some tough times and shared many happy memories together. For those reasons, he can’t just abandon them because he’s no longer single.

So, please don’t expect him to forget about his friends. He needs to have his own life apart from you, just as you should. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Now, let’s get back to the topic and figure out why he seems happier around his buddies.

1. He’s more relaxed around them

First, guys don’t act the same when they’re around their friends as they do when they’re with their girlfriends. That’s a fact. And second, your man has probably known his friends for a very long time, which is why he’s more relaxed around them.

At this point in their friendship, he doesn’t need to pretend about anything. He’s free to be himself, which is the best feeling ever.

If your relationship is still fresh, maybe he doesn’t yet feel this way around you. Maybe he’s still afraid that he’s going to mess things up, so he’s doing his best to impress you.

Again, this is completely normal for new couples. You’re still trying to get to know each other, which is why your boyfriend feels pressured not to make any mistakes.

When you catch him laughing with his friends, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not happy with you. It simply shows that he’s more relaxed around them since he has known them for longer.

2. You don’t do anything fun together

What do you do when you’re hanging out? Do you stay inside, watching Netflix, or do you go out to do something fun?

If you spend the majority of your time together in an apartment, having chill nights, or if you only go out to grab a coffee or lunch, it makes sense why you feel like your boyfriend has more fun with his friends.

The truth is that you’re not doing anything fun. You’re stuck in a routine and honestly, there’s nothing interesting about it.

If this sounds like your relationship, try to change things up a bit. Book an adventurous weekend away, go hiking or sightseeing, pretending you’re tourists in your own city. Do whatever sounds fun to both of you and see how your boyfriend reacts to it.

If you notice a change in his behavior, then know that the only reason he seems happier with his friends is that they’re always doing something new. So, try to put more effort into your relationship and do something fun when you’re hanging out. It could make a huge difference.

3. You don’t share the same interests

Maybe you and your boyfriend don’t share the same interests, which is why he can’t enthusiastically talk with you about the things that spark his joy. His friends, on the other hand, probably have the same hobbies as him.

When they’re together, you’ll hear them talking about baseball, basketball, hockey, or whatever other sport they like. They talk about cars and play games for hours since they all share the same love for these things.

That’s why you’ll get the impression that your boyfriend is happier with his friends when in reality, he’s more eager to talk with them about their mutual interests because he knows they understand him.

In this case, try to figure out if there’s something both of you love doing. Maybe you’re both obsessed with movies, so you can have a movie night or even get a ticket to a movie you’d love to watch together.

Do this and see how he reacts. If he seems super excited, then you can be sure that nothing’s wrong with your relationship. It’s just that you both need to realize that you have many things in common – you just have to figure them out.

4. He thinks that you won’t accept him for who he really is

At the beginning of a relationship, guys want to present themselves in the best light possible. They act all nice and play the best version of themselves because they don’t want to be rejected by the woman they like.

If you’re still getting to know each other, chances are that your boyfriend is afraid to show you who he truly is. He’s afraid that he’ll push you away if he shows you his quirky side, so he tries to hide it until he’s sure that you like him exactly as he is.

This is a common thing among new couples. You’re probably guilty of making sure you look your best, laughing at his jokes even if you don’t find them funny, and eating carefully when you’re having dinner together. Naturally, we want to impress those we like.

Whenever he’s with his friends, though, he can put his guard down and show his true self. This doesn’t mean that he’s not comfortable with you. It just means that he needs more time to realize that you like everything about him, including his flaws and weird habits.

5. You always nag him about something

I know it’s not pleasant hearing that you’re the source of the problem, but sometimes that’s the case. From time to time, we all do things we aren’t proud of, and maybe you’re aware that you nag your boyfriend way too much, yet you don’t know how to change it.

This affects him and the way he acts around you since he’s always on edge that he’ll say or do something you’ll complain about. So, when he’s out with his friends, he feels like he can be who he actually is.

If you’re aware of this issue, then try being more considerate about your nagging. We all have our flaws, and he probably does some things that push your buttons, but there’s always a better way to express your feelings.

Try having an honest conversation with him and let him know how it makes you feel when he does certain things. But don’t turn it into a direct attack.

“You do this” and “You make me feel like this” are sentences that will make him defend himself. Instead, try saying something such as “I feel like this” and “I don’t feel comfortable with this” so he can better understand what’s going on through your head when he does or says something.

6. You’re clingy

Maybe you’re just a clingy person and you love the feeling of having your boyfriend all for yourself. You feel the need to make him happy and when you see him having fun with someone else, you get afraid that you’re going to lose him.

This probably stems from your past experiences and failed relationships. Your self-esteem is low, and you get upset each time you see your boyfriend having fun with people other than you.

You desperately want to be the main source of his happiness, but you don’t realize that’s impossible. Your partner has to have a life outside the relationship the same way you do. So, take it easy and try to realize that keeping him only for yourself can push him away. And that’s definitely not something you want.

7. Your relationship isn’t making him happy

This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but maybe your boyfriend isn’t happy in your relationship. Maybe he realized that the two of you aren’t a match, but he doesn’t know how to tell you as much.

Each time he’s out with his friends, he feels alive. When he hangs out with you, he acts completely different. That’s why he seems so happy with his pals and completely broken down when he’s with you.

This is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s always better to face the truth and move away from a relationship when one of the partners isn’t happy. At least you know that you won’t be wasting your time with someone who can’t imagine his future with you.