Your relationship with your partner has been going through some strange times. Something feels different and you’re currently facing a dilemma of your lifetime. Is he losing interest or just stressed out?
It feels impossible to find an answer to this question on your own. If your friend was going through the same issue, you would simply look at things objectively and let her know what’s actually going on.
But since the situation is more personal, you’re torn. Your whole being wants to say that your partner is simply stressed due to the amount of work he’s been facing at work. But then again, you don’t want to be the one lying to yourself if the reality is different.
You know that men have a tendency to pull away whenever they hit a rough patch. They try to deal with the problems on their own because they don’t want to end up looking vulnerable and weak.
But you also know that every time a guy loses interest, he takes a step back and changes his behavior.
Which one are you currently facing then? Is your love life about to go through a complete change or will things go back to their original state once the pressure at work settles down?
How to determine if he’s losing interest or just stressed?
As human beings, we all tend to rush to conclusions from time to time. We make decisions irrationally before we’re actually sure of what’s going on.
To avoid this, there are some questions you should answer, and based on them, you’ll then be able to tell what you’re dealing with.
There’s a significant difference in the behavior of a guy who’s facing a lack of interest and a guy who’s simply stressed out due to external factors.
Now is your time to be honest with yourself and objectively state what you’ve been going through these past few weeks or months.
1. Has he changed his behavior out of nowhere or has it happened gradually?
Usually, when a guy changes his behavior out of nowhere, it’s because something happened to him. Something affected him terribly and in a second, things came crashing down like a house of cards.
The last time you saw him, he seemed perfectly fine. He behaved the same as always and you had a great time together.
Today, you sent him a text to check in on him and you haven’t got a reply for hours. Eventually, when he did reply, his message was brief and cold. And from that point on, he’s been acting the same way and you still have no clue why.
This sudden change of behavior could be a result of stress at work or another aspect of his life. Something happened and it affected him a lot more than he’s willing to admit.
This issue has taken control over him and that’s why he’s been behaving differently.
However, if your guy’s behavior has been gradually changing, then there’s a chance that stress isn’t the actual cause. It’s more likely that he’s been steadily losing interest in you and that’s why you no longer see him acting as he did in the beginning.
It’s possible that he’s considering a breakup but doesn’t know how to tell you. Hence the weird behavior that looks nothing like him.
2. Has he been giving you sketchy excuses?
Your partner used to be that kind of guy who enjoyed spending time with you. He used every possible opportunity to be around you and have some fun with you. It used to be the thing that made him feel better, even on those days where he didn’t feel like himself.
Lately, it’s all changed and you’ve been getting constant excuses. Every time you call him to hang out, he seems to have some other plans or he gives you the most awkward excuses.
Honestly, this doesn’t sound like a guy who’s stressed. It resembles more to someone who’s losing interest but doesn’t know how to admit that to you.
Right now, he feels like it’s easier for him to find a way that excuses him from hanging out with you than to admit he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. It looks like, from now on, he’ll keep choosing the path of least resistance.
3. Does he keep making plans without you?
When you’re trying to figure out if he is losing interest or if he’s just stressed, you should compare the way he acts around you with how he acts around other people. That’s how you’ll know what’s actually going on.
A huge red flag is when a guy keeps avoiding you and only you. No other sphere of his personal life gets affected other than his love life.
It doesn’t feel good when you realize that he’s still got an active social life – hanging out with others, playing sports, and focusing on his hobbies – while you’re waiting on the side for your turn to be noticed.
This doesn’t seem like the behavior of a guy who’s stressed at work. If your guy was under a lot of pressure work-wise or in some other major area of his life, he wouldn’t only be avoiding you.
4. Is he keeping secrets from you?
In your committed relationship, you’re used to sharing everything with each other. But this has changed and from a guy who’d always tell you everything, you’re now looking at a guy who locks his phone every time you approach him.
He takes it with him wherever he goes and in those rare times he invites you out, his phone is faced down all the time and it’s always on silent. And he often storms off out of the room without letting you know what’s going on.
Excuse me, but this behavior doesn’t feel like the consequence of stress. It looks like he’s disinterested in you, even though it isn’t the thing you want to hear right now.
5. What is your gut feeling telling you?
Want to know if he’s losing interest or just stressed? When you really think about this, what comes to mind first? What is your gut telling you?
A lot of people tend to ignore the power of intuition because they’re afraid to admit what’s actually going on. But if you follow your heart, you’ll realize that you need to trust it.
Deep down, you know what’s actually going on and you have to stare the truth directly in the eyes if you want to allow yourself to feel happy once again.
Telltale signs he’s actually losing interest and isn’t just stressed!
No matter how hard you try to ignore the truth, life will keep giving you all of the warning signs that your guy is losing interest in you.
At first, you may try to avoid them, but at one point, it will become clear what’s actually going on and that’s when you’ll have to act.
Here are some signs that speak the truth louder than words. If you see them, then there’s a high chance that your partner’s feelings for you have changed. And his behavior acts only as confirmation of that.
1. You no longer feel like a priority
A guy who used to put you first no matter what has turned into a guy who puts you last on his list of priorities. And this change is blatantly obvious.
You know that all men lose interest from time to time, but you’ve been secretly wishing that this won’t happen to you. You’ve kept blaming the way he’s been treating you on his stressful job, but this game has been going on for way too long.
He’s been acting this way for too long that stress is the cause of it. Face it, he would’ve told you if that was the reason.
But right now, you don’t hear him speaking with you as much as he used to, you see him choosing everyone else over you, and it feels as if every possible obligation serves as an excuse that prevents him from spending time with you.
I know you don’t want to hear it, but this is sketchy and it’s one of the biggest signs he’s losing interest in you.
2. He makes minimal effort
Your partner used to put all of his efforts into your relationship. From the first date onward, he never made you feel like you’re not worth his time.
Until recently, he’s always shown you how much he cares about you and kept the relationship fresh as if you just started dating.
Now it’s all changed and you’ve started wondering if he’s losing interest or if he’s just stressed out about some other stuff. You desperately want stress to be the cause, but right now, it’s really not looking like it.
His effort is on a gradual decline. So much so, you feel like the best he can do is ask how you’re doing once a month. That’s how low it’s dropped.
You know your effort hasn’t changed and you still keep showing him how much he means to you, but you fail to get the same in return. And honestly, you don’t have to be a relationship expert to spot what’s actually going on.
3. He’s no longer affectionate
Physical intimacy is an important part of every romantic relationship. It makes you feel close to the person who means the world to you and it communicates the feelings words can’t convey.
When this part of your relationship starts changing, you know that something’s off.
He no longer holds your hand when you’re alone or in public, even though he used to do it all the time. He rarely kisses you, where before, he’d never let you go home before giving you a kiss.
All those little things he used to do to show you his love in a non-verbal way are now part of the past. You can’t remember the last time he squeezed you in a hug or kissed you on the forehead.
Right now, you feel distant from him, and it hurts even more when you realize that still greets his friends with a hug and kisses his family members on the cheek. It looks like you’re the only one who got the change of treatment, which makes it obvious that stress isn’t the reason for it.
4. Every time you try to talk to him, he pulls away
You miss those intimate moments when it was only two of you, talking the whole night and falling asleep with the first rays of sunshine.
Now, every time you try to have a decent conversation with your partner, you literally feel him pulling away from you. Is he losing interest or is he stressed? I think you’re well aware of the right answer.
When a guy pulls away emotionally from you and stops letting you into his world, you know that you no longer have a place in his life.
His feelings have changed and he’s looking for a way to let you know that, without hurting you.
In this case, your partner thinks that he should keep distance between the two of you, so eventually you realize what’s going on. Once you figure it all out by yourself, he won’t need to explain himself.
So, when you see him pull away and refuse to keep the connection between the two of you, you know that he is losing interest or perhaps has already lost it altogether. It’s the sad reality you must face.
5. He gets progressively slower at responding to your text messages and phone calls
A guy who’s losing interest will slow down the communication. Over time, you’ll realize that you no longer text each other daily but instead, you hear from him maybe twice a week.
You used to go on dates every week, but now not seeing each other as much. And on the rare occasion you do hang out, it happens only because you finally succeeded at convincing him to go out with you.
Then, when you’re out and about, you realize that his phone is always in his hands and he keeps texting other people.
By connecting the dots, it becomes obvious that’s he’s ignoring your calls and messages on purpose, and not doing it because he is too busy with work or has something else to do.
At first, you don’t feel like complaining because we all have those moments where we really don’t have time to call and text. But right now, this behavior has become his new normal and he doesn’t seem to want to make a change.
6. He stops noticing the little things
Of course, a guy can fail to notice all of the little things he used to if he’s feeling stressed, but when it keeps happening during a longer period of time then, it becomes a red flag that he’s actually losing interest.
He no longer notices when you buy him his favorite chocolate because you know how much he likes it. He doesn’t seem to realize when you get a haircut, where before, he’d notice even the slightest change in your appearance.
The one who cared the most about the little things turned into someone who looks at you but doesn’t see anything. He doesn’t pay attention to you and it hurts to see how much he’s changed.
It’s obvious that he’s losing his feelings for you and that’s why his behavior has been different. Even though it hurts to see a man falling out of love with you, you must accept what’s currently going on and that there’s not much you can do about it.
7. He ignores exclusively you
There’s a significant difference between a guy who’s losing interest and the one who’s stressed. It manifests in the way he treats the people around him.
When you see him going to parties with his friends while rejecting all of your invitations out, you know that something’s wrong. When you see him inviting his pals on trips when he promised to take you, you know you’re losing him.
A guy who’s losing interest will ignore ONLY you while he’ll still be on great terms with everyone else.
Others will get to see him daily while all you’ll get from him are constant rejections. He’ll ignore your calls and even if you knock on his door, he’ll find a reason to not invite you in.
This behavior hurts like hell because you don’t expect the love of your life to treat you like you’re a complete stranger in his life. But it’s the truth you must hear if you want to plan your next step.
When it becomes obvious that all of the rejections and last-minute changes in plans aren’t accidental, then you realize what’s actually going on.
8. He no longer makes future plans with you
A stressed man doesn’t change his plans that include you. He still wants you to be in his life, despite not feeling like himself recently. But a man who’s losing his interest will no longer be sure if he wants to spend his life with you.
All of a sudden, he’ll start to show you that you’re no longer a part of his near or distant future.
When he gets invited to a wedding, you’ll no longer be his plus one. He’d rather go alone than with you because he knows his feelings have changed.
He’ll spend summer vacation with his friends, even though you two usually always made plans together for it. He’ll simply text you in the middle of the night saying he can’t go with you because he made a promise to his pals, and he won’t even bother to make it up to you.
A guy who’s losing his interest will slowly but surely keep showing you how he doesn’t see his future with you. Right now, he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life by your side and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
And unfortunately, in a situation like this, I’m not really sure if I can give you relationship advice that will make everything go back to the way it was. When a man’s feelings change, there’s not much you can do other than sit and wait to see what will happen next.
Still wondering if he’s losing interest or just stressed?
Then, there’s only one thing you can do…
ASK HIM DIRECTLY!
Even though you’re seeing many of the signs he’s losing interest in you, you still need that final confirmation. You need something to make it clear that your gut feeling isn’t wrong.
In that case, you’re left with one option only. You must have a talk with him and ask him to explain what’s going on. That way, you’ll be sure that there hasn’t been a misunderstanding between the two of you.
Sit down with your partner and let him know how you’ve been feeling for the last couple of weeks (or months). Let him know that you want him to be honest with you and to share his feelings with you.
Even if he’s actually losing interest in you and his behavior has nothing to do with stress, it will be better for both of you to know the truth. You’ll finally know what you’re facing and stop living a life in denial.
Who knows, maybe you got it all wrong and your partner has been going through some serious issues. Or maybe your gut feeling has been right this whole time but he just had no idea how to tell you the truth.
No matter the outcome, an honest conversation will do both of you only good. Your partner will feel like a huge burden is lifted off his chest and you’ll no longer feel like a puppet in your own life.
Good luck and don’t be afraid of the future! It will all turn out exactly how it’s supposed to.