Breakups are difficult in their own way since they leave you with wounds that require a significant amount of time to heal. But in that process of post-breakup healing, how to make him feel guilty for hurting you in the first place?
You have to understand that men and women are different when it comes to empathy and being aware of their actions. Men generally can’t comprehend that some of their actions or decisions can have a real impact on other people and their well-being.
That’s why, in most cases, they’re not even aware of the fact that they did something wrong to you. They’re just patiently waiting to see your reaction and if you don’t freak out immediately, they assume everything must be fine.
They can’t seem to grasp that women react differently when they’re being mistreated by their partners. That’s because women have a higher tolerance to pain than men. And that’s precisely why some women are able to give birth and go through tremendous amounts of pain without a single complaint.
This is the reason you’re not saying anything to him right now. You’re just ignoring the fact he hurt you until the emotions start to kick in. And trust me, they will.
Let me tell you that there are ways to make him feel guilty for what he’s done to you, but you need to be careful with how you’ll use them to your advantage.
How NOT to make him feel guilty for hurting you
Don’t think about making him feel guilty for hurting you by doing something that might include anything physical. So no swear words, cursing at him, ruining his property, and especially no assaults.
You should never let your anger govern you to do something that you’ll regret later on. And you never know, you may just have done something that hurt him and that’s why behaved the way he did.
Also, don’t ever spread lies or make up bad stories about him just to get back at him. That never turns out well.
Your goal is to make him feel guilty for hurting you, not ruin the rest of his life just because he’s done something wrong to you.
I understand that you’re hurting, but don’t follow in his footsteps and use his actions as an example.
If he cheated on you, it doesn’t mean that you have to be like that too. It would be foolish to retaliate in the same way.
Also, if you’ve broken up and he has a new girlfriend now, don’t try to contact her and tell her lies about him, thinking that it will help you.
That won’t be revenge and he wouldn’t feel guilty for hurting you. He’ll just think how pathetic and needy you actually are and sooner or later, the truth will come out and you’ll be left hurt again.
After everything he has done to you, he shouldn’t even be a priority to you. So don’t let your anger and pain fool you into believing that anything I’ve mentioned above would help you make him feel guilty for hurting you.
You are the one who’s controlling the situation. Be careful of how you use that control and don’t overdo it. You know what people say: Sometimes, less is more.
For him to realize that he hurt you, you have to be clear with yourself first.
If you truly need revenge to move on with your life and to be happy again, then seek emotional and not physical revenge.
By doing so, he’ll understand how badly he mistreated you, at which point he’ll realize that you’re not like other women and that he should never play with people’s feelings, ever!
That’s the type of revenge you should strive for. It will help you move on from him without looking needy or crazy.
How to make him feel guilty for hurting you?
Before you decide on doing anything to make him feel guilty for hurting you, promise yourself that your moves will be subtle. Don’t devote your entire life to making him feel guilty because you’ll only lose yourself in the process.
Instead, show him how it feels when someone hurts you. If done well, he won’t even realize that you’ve been planning this the whole time.
Your best option is that you move on with your life while teaching him a valuable lesson. That should be your end goal.
I understand that you’re suffering right now, but in a couple of months, it’ll eventually dawn on him that losing you was the worst thing that happened to him.
So, you must be wondering how precisely to make him feel guilty for hurting you? Well, these tips can help you achieve that. You just have to be patient and persistent in your goal.
1. Focus on yourself
It probably seems pointless to you now, but the best way to make him feel guilty for hurting you is if you start prioritizing yourself above anyone.
Don’t think about him or what he did to you. Make him part of your past and put some effort into improving yourself, both mentally as well as physically.
You don’t have to worry about how you’re going to incorporate your interests into your busy schedule while keeping your relationship alive. Why? Because you’ve got all the time in the world to do whatever it is that you want.
Take the opportunity and work on yourself. Do everything you always wanted to do but never had enough time to do it. Believe me, this will make him feel guilty for hurting you.
He’ll see how awesome and beautiful your life without him is and it’ll make him wonder why he hurt you in the first place.
You’re an amazing and wonderful person, and once you shift your attention to yourself, he’ll realize that.
Have a positive mindset and prepare yourself for new experiences. Life can be beautiful when you start embracing it. Focus and prioritize yourself above everyone else, and everything else will fall into place.
2. Don’t call or text him
I understand you have the urge to text and call him and tell him all that’s been bothering you this entire time. However, that’s the last thing you should do if you want to make him feel guilty for hurting you.
The golden rule is not to contact him in any way and use the no-contact rule instead.
If you give in and text him – or even worse, call him – you’re letting him think he’s done nothing wrong. You’ll hear his voice and not be able to resist giving him a second chance.
Eventually, he’ll take you for granted again because he’ll see you as being a pathetic woman, begging for an apology.
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t ever stoop so low as to give a man the opportunity to use your soft heart against you.
Remember, your goal is to make him feel guilty for hurting you. You’re not mad at him, you’re disappointed by his behavior.
Yelling and swearing at him will only have a countereffect. You don’t want him to be even more confused than he is now.
Your desperate attempt to let him have a piece of your mind won’t do you any good. You’re not a desperate woman, never forget that.
You’re perfectly aware of what happened between you two. Even if he tells you otherwise, you have every right to be disappointed.
Ignoring him will help him realize what he’s done to you. On the flip side, yelling and screaming at him will mean that you’re mad at him when in reality, you’re not.
3. Be adventurous and try new things
If you really want to make him feel guilty for hurting you, then you need to show him that your life hasn’t ended and that you know how to live without him being a part of your life anymore.
Prove your point to him by working on yourself, trying new things, and creating a new life that’s a dozen times better than the one you had when you were with him.
Single life can be great, you know. You have enough time to build yourself up again and start dating other guys.
All you need is a positive mindset and an optimistic spirit. That’s a winning combination for healthy and positive changes in your life.
Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Go out and meet new friends.
Ask them to join you in your adventures such as hiking, windsurfing, or stuff like that. Plan doing new stuff that you were never able to try until now.
The only way to improve yourself and to start a new life is to have new experiences and meet new people.
Even if you’re a shy person who doesn’t go out all that often, you have to welcome those positive changes that are happening in your life right now.
Seek discomfort by climbing out of your comfort zone and your mind and soul will flourish. Your wounds will heal faster – and him seeing that will make him feel guilty for hurting you.
4. Prove to him that you’re not thinking about him anymore
The truth is, nothing hurts more than seeing your ex slowly but surely removing you from their life. And that’s exactly what you should do.
If you want to make him feel guilty for hurting you, you have to prove to him that you won’t spend the rest of your life thinking about him and what could’ve been between you two.
Your heart won’t beat faster at the sound of his voice and your body won’t tremble when you accidentally bump into him on the street or at your favorite restaurant.
Instead, you’ll be totally calm and collected and he’ll be just another one of your exes that doesn’t deserve you at all.
If he gathers the courage and approaches you, it’ll feel like a total stranger came and asked you for something.
You won’t show him how you cried yourself to sleep every night before realizing that he isn’t worth your love. You won’t show him any emotions. And you won’t give him that satisfaction because he doesn’t deserve it.
You’ll stand proudly in front of him, looking him straight in the eye and not moving a bit. Then he’ll know that you’re over him and he’ll feel guilty for hurting you in the first place.
As you know, a man’s ego is his pride and joy. He’ll protect it at all costs.
So the worst thing you can do to him is to hurt his ego. And that’s exactly what you’re going to do if you show zero emotions toward him.
Once that happens, he’ll be baffled by your strength and self-worth. He may even try to get back into your life, but you’re done with that chapter of your life.
He blew his chance when he hurt you. And now it’s your time to prove to him he won’t be able to come and go as he pleases.
5. Get rid of stuff that reminds you of him
After a breakup, the best thing you can do for your mental health is to get rid of all of the items he ever gave you.
Why should you have to do that? Well, that’s the easiest way to help you feel better, and at the same time, you get to make him feel guilty for hurting you.
The last thing you need is some teddy bear lying on the shelf, reminding you of a time when you two were together. That’s why you should pack up all of his things and deliver them by mail.
Don’t leave them at his doorstep because by doing that, you’re risking seeing him again. You don’t want him to think that you’re obsessed with him or something like that.
When he receives the delivery, he’ll be baffled at how non-emotional this act of yours is. He’ll start to reminisce about past memories of when he had you in his life, and it’ll help him see how badly he mistreated you.
He’ll feel sorry and guilty for hurting you and not being there when you needed him. Finally, he’ll realize how immature he was and that you were the perfect girlfriend to him. Except he became aware of it all too late.
6. Regain your confidence
One of the worst things that can happen to you as a result of a breakup is to lose your self-worth. You feel like no one is going to love you the way he did, but you’re wrong.
If you want to make him feel guilty for hurting you, then you have to find your self-worth again.
I know that it’s easy to be overtaken by negative emotions and thoughts after you’ve been hurt.
You start wondering if there was something that you could’ve done differently to avoid the breakup. But the best cure for heartbreak is to improve your self-confidence.
Remember, one of the possible reasons he left you was that he didn’t realize how much you’re actually worth. But that’s exactly why you should leave him where he belongs – in the past.
Work on yourself because that’s the only way you’ll make him feel guilty for hurting you. Become a superwoman and a person he’s going to regret losing.
Let’s face it. You’re gorgeous, strong, courageous, and independent. And you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
7. Ignore him
If you ask any guy what’s the one thing he hates the most when it comes to women, he’d probably say when a woman ignores him. And that’s precisely what you should do if you want to make him feel guilty for hurting you.
This ties in with the second tip I’ve given. Give him the full silent treatment, use the no-contact rule. If you didn’t know it by now, it’s the most effective way to make a man realize some things.
Just be careful, as your goal isn’t to get him to miss you or give him a second chance. Instead, you want to create a series of positive changes in your life and nothing else.
Letting go of someone you used to love is hard, but you need to remember how that particular person made you feel.
Honestly, your happiness doesn’t depend on your ex-boyfriend. You only need yourself to feel joy again and the best way to do so is to not pay much attention to him.
And if you fail in your attempt to ignore him entirely, at least suppress your urge to reply to his messages with a lengthy text. Instead, give him a curt “Yes” or “No” answer, and he’ll realize what he’s done to you.
You’ll hurt his ego and make him feel guilty for hurting you.
Remember what he’s done to you. Because of all that, he doesn’t deserve your attention or conversation.
And no matter what, don’t let him provoke you with his words and actions. Don’t fall for his petty games and please don’t believe in his half-truths.
Give yourself some time, and you’ll soon see how hurt he is for hurting you.
Signs he feels guilty for hurting you
Now that you know the strategies to help him realize what he’s done to you, you must be wondering how you’ll know whether or not they actually worked? Well, fear not because there are signs he feels guilty for hurting you, and here are a couple of the most common ones.
1. He apologizes to you
Men have never been too good at expressing their emotions. A guy will rather show them through his actions than try to put them in words.
But if your ex-boyfriend feels guilty for hurting you, then he’ll do anything he can to show you that he’s sorry for it. Granted, that’s only the case if he really cared for you.
A sincere apology at the right time is a major clue that he’s overtaken by guilt.
He may feel bad about what he has done to you and now he’s trying to make amends. He can’t get rid of the awful emotion and the only way to move forward and make you feel better is through a heartfelt apology.
2. He goes quiet on you
Another great sign of a guilty conscience is when he acts quieter than usual. Maybe he’s not his usual self and instead of pouring his heart out to you, he goes quiet and says nothing at all.
It could be that he’s thinking about what he should do next, or that he’s genuinely sorry for what he’s done or said. Either way, if you see that his behavior changes, that’s a sign he feels guilty for hurting you.
3. He speaks highly of you to others
Are you hearing from your mutual friends that your ex is always talking about how wonderful you are? Does he say that he’s the one responsible for the breakup?
If he often speaks well of you to other people, that’s definitely a sign he’s feeling guilty for hurting you.
4. He often calls you up to see how you’re doing
This guy wants to make sure you’re not hurting too much and to let you know that if there’s anything he can do, he’ll do it.
He wants you to feel that you can turn to him if you need any support. And he realizes that he caused you pain and wants to do whatever he can to ease it.
Even if he knows deep down in his heart that he’s the source of your hurt feelings and there isn’t much he can do about it, he’ll still call to check up on you.
5. He tells you that you deserve better
We all heard it before and most of us have fallen for it at some stage. But saying that “you deserve so much better” and “you’re too good for me” is a good way to ease your guilty conscience and put the burden on the other person.
Usually, men who have low self-esteem tend to do this. And if you hear your ex-boyfriend saying things like this to you, then you better believe that he feels guilty for hurting you – he’s just not willing to admit it.