Think aloud
How to get over a long-term relationship? Will you ever be able to heal completely from this breakup?
When a full recovery seems impossible, you start to drift even more into depression. It’s not because you want to, but because you planned your entire life with this person.
You thought that you would wake up next to this person every morning and that you would create a future together. There was no part of you that actually thought that you would part ways.
However, something happened. Life happened and you broke up. It doesn’t matter if your partner cheated on you or if he left you because he didn’t want to be with you anymore, or for some other reason.
It still broke your heart, and you felt like you lost a huge part of yourself. You may even feel like you spent all of these years wasting your time on someone who so easily left. Now, you’re left with the aftermath and you have to deal with it.
Nothing seems to make you happy anymore.
He was the one person who could make you smile just by looking at you. He knew you better than anyone else, and he still chose to do something stupid that made you continue your life without him.
Now you’re completely broken and bruised. What are the next steps? You’re left asking the internet how to get over a long-term relationship! I mean, these things have a lasting effect on everyone’s mental health.
This is why we need to talk about ways to help you go through this tough time. I promise you that it’ll get easier, you just have to try.
How to get over a long-term relationship?
1. Let yourself grieve
Instead of being on your bad girl train right off the bat, how about you go through your sad-girl era first? You have the right to grieve, woman!
You have the right to cry your eyes out for months, every single time you come home and your head hits the pillow. If anyone tells you that you’re wasting your time crying, they’re the ones who could use a reality check.
You just lost the man that you thought would be the love of your life!
For crying out loud (pun intended), you should be able to spend your days mourning the relationship and the future that you’ll never have with him. If you don’t let all of these emotions go, then you’ll be stuck in a continuous loop of confusion. You won’t be able to decipher what’s actually going on in your mind!
Let yourself grieve, cry, and scream. You deserve to experience those emotions because this is a very scary time for you.
2. Appreciate the time you spent together
How to get over a long-term relationship when you know that you’ve spent the most amazing years together?
Well, you don’t have to forget about those moments. I know that people have the tendency to say, “Oh, just forget about it and move on.” However, you and I both know that it’s not that simple.
What you actually have to do is appreciate the time you spent with him. You should appreciate the lessons that you’ve learned as well as the memories that remain.
Forgetting all of this would mean that it meant nothing to you – but it actually meant the world to you.
This should be reason enough to appreciate the good and the bad moments. Who knows what the Universe has prepared for your future, at least you have valuable lessons to carry with you.
3. Talk about it
Once you start thinking about how to get over a long-term relationship, you’ll also want to talk to your friends about it. The issue is that you may feel like a burden to them, but let me tell you – you’re not!
If you don’t talk about it, then you won’t be able to process it.
You need to find a safe space where you can go over your entire relationship and simply say everything that’s on your chest. If you feel like you can talk with your friends and family, then do so.
However, if something is keeping you from talking to them, then you should probably talk to a therapist about this. At the end of the day, the verdict stays the same. You have to talk to someone so that you can get this off your mind.
4. Don’t play the blame game
You can easily start blaming one another. Don’t do that.
As women, we always find issues within us. You start wondering what’s wrong with you, or are you unlovable. But it mostly has nothing to do with you.
Someone makes the conscious decision to leave or to do something to hurt you. He wanted to get out of that relationship. Blaming anyone will only put you into a deeper depression.
Especially if you start blaming yourself and believing that you’re unlovable. That’s when you get stuck into a continuous loop of self-hatred.
5. Clean your space from his energy
What I mean by this isn’t just to throw his things out of your apartment. I genuinely mean that you have to clean your space.
Do a deep cleaning session, turn on some good music, and go for it. You don’t have to throw his things out the window, but I’d hope that you’d at least consider putting them into a box. Hide that box somewhere out of sight where you won’t get into contact with it.
Those things hold energy, and they hold reminders of happier times. If you want to know how to get over a long-term relationship, then this is probably the most efficient way.
Deep-cleaning your house is also extremely therapeutic. Try it, honestly.
6. Find healthy ways to cope
Everyone has their own way of coping with things.
However, most of those coping mechanisms are unhealthy. People tend to use substances, they stop being functional human beings, and they forget who they actually were.
What I’d recommend for you to do is to find healthy ways to cope with this situation. Try going back to creative endeavors that you genuinely enjoyed before. Draw, paint, do pottery, write, listen to music.
You can even start going to the gym simply to let all of that negative energy out of your system. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with those emotions, and you won’t have a healthy outlet.
7. Remove reminders of him
I know that it’s hard when you’re thinking about how to get over a long-term relationship. You don’t want to let go of someone you love and the time you spent together, but you need to remove reminders of him.
For example, put the photos you have into an archived folder that you won’t be able to see. Also, take the pictures down, hide the gifts that you got from him, and make sure that there’s nothing there that could potentially trigger you.
8. Focus on yourself
Everyone tells you this, am I right? People go above and beyond to prove that by focusing on yourself, you’ll be free of hurt, pain, and sadness.
Well, that’s because it actually works.
I’m not telling you that you’ll feel better overnight. No. It’ll take much longer than that to actually feel good about yourself.
However, once you focus on yourself, your wants, and your dreams, you’ll be able to gain a new perspective on the entire relationship. Instead of mourning him, you have to mourn the person that you were and celebrate the beginning of a new life.
9. Decide what your next steps will be
When you’ve come to the stage where you’re wondering how to get over a long-term relationship, you genuinely have to consider your next steps. You can’t just go about your life without understanding what’s going to happen next.
For example, you genuinely have to ask yourself if you want to stay friends with this man. Do you want to greet him when he walks past you? Do you want to communicate with him over text messages? Do you care about where he’s going and with whom?
People may tell you that you shouldn’t care about him, but you were with him for years. I’d say that you need to consider your options and figure out your next steps.
10. Don’t jump into someone else’s arms
If this wasn’t a list of tips on how to get over a long-term relationship, then I would probably tell you that it’s okay to find a rebound. However, considering that you were invested in one relationship for years, you have to take things slow.
Don’t just rush into another relationship or into some type of intimate endeavor with someone new. You need time to heal and to properly find who you’re supposed to be when you’re all alone.
Being by yourself and focusing on yourself will help you get through all of this much easier.
By bringing someone else into your healing process, you may just break someone else’s heart. That’s definitely not what we want right now.