Think aloud
You might be feeling lost, but you should be proud of yourself for trying to figure out how to find yourself again. Why?
Well, some people stay lost for a long time or even never find themselves.
The only reason this happens is that they never realize or accept that they’re feeling lost in the first place.
They never wonder how to find themselves again.
By coming to this article, you’ve already made the first step toward finding yourself again! But how did you get in this situation in the first place?
Maybe you care too much about what other people think. You let them dictate your life a lot more than you should.
Maybe you neglect your intuition. You don’t trust your inner voice that’s there to help guide you through life.
Maybe you think negatively about yourself and even talk negatively about yourself.
Eventually, you start believing those negative thoughts as the truth.
Maybe you don’t know what your real purpose is.
You’re tired of spending most of your time at a job that doesn’t bring you the fulfillment that you need.
Any of this sound familiar? If you’re wondering how to find yourself again, some of this could be the reason you’re feeling lost.
But what can you do about it?
Don’t care too much about what other people think and don’t let them tell you how to live your life.
Sure, you can ask them for advice or opinion, but don’t simply take it as true fact.
Don’t think that your intellect should play the only role in solving problems.
Trust your instinct – sometimes it can help you even more than your rational brain.
Don’t compare yourself to others and forget your real potential and power.
Give yourself some credit, try to engage in positive self-talk instead of negative, and use positive affirmations.
Don’t give your attention only to your job.
Write down all the things that interest you, then try to find a way to either make some money from them or simply start doing them as a hobby.
These are all great things to try if you want to know how to find yourself again (depending on the reason you feel lost, of course).
There’s still more you can do though! Keep reading to learn how to find yourself again, and come back any time you feel lost.
Some of the things I’ll mention are traditional methods and some are unconventional.
Don’t hesitate to try all of them and find out what works best for you.
How to find yourself again?
1. Accept everything positive and negative about yourself
If you want to learn how to find yourself again, you have to learn to accept yourself.
First, I need to make it clear that self-acceptance and self-esteem are not the same things.
Self-esteem, whether it’s low or high, stands for the way you feel about yourself and your accomplishments.
Self-acceptance is your ability to embrace all the good and bad things about yourself.
You have to accept yourself to find yourself.
After all, to find yourself, you have to get to know yourself, right?
And in order to do that, you have to recognize all the things about yourself, even those you don’t like.
It’s not possible to improve these bad things unless you recognize and accept them first.
Since childhood and throughout our lives, people let us know how they see us.
Perhaps your parents told you what you are and aren’t capable of.
Romantic interests maybe haven’t reciprocated your feelings.
The grades you got at school might have made you think that you aren’t smart enough.
You need to figure out who you are on your own.
Try to focus more on the positive things, and they will easily overshadow the negative. Identify both of them, though, and accept them as a part of who you are.
Once you do that, you’ll be able to use your positive characteristics to achieve your goals. You’ll also strengthen those positive traits.
As for the negative ones, you’ll be able to work on them. For instance, you can avoid environments that trigger them.
2. Discover your true calling and take baby steps
Everyone has their true calling in life, and figuring out what it is is a part of learning how to find yourself again.
What passions do you have and what goals fit them best? Once you know the answer to that, you’ll be able to work toward those goals.
Maybe you want to run a marathon, write a book, or paint a portrait. Why don’t you walk a mile, write an outline, or take a painting class?
You need to dream big but take small steps. It’s a gradual process to discover your purpose.
Keep in mind that, when it comes down to it, “perfection” and a “waste of time” don’t exist.
Don’t ever think that any dream is too big. Keep working towards it and keep improving.
Of course, you need to be realistic when you think about what you could do right now…
But when it comes to what you could do in the future, be free to be as bold as you can.
Every time you complete one goal, it becomes easier to complete another.
Your goals will also start being more focused and get you closer to your true calling and your true self.
Don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments. Even if the accomplishment isn’t related to your true calling, celebrate it, and be proud of yourself.
3. Start journalling
Listing all the moments in your life that were most impactful is a great way to start finding yourself.
It will help you know yourself better and see where you’re headed.
Write about where you’ve been and it will be easier to see where you’re going and where you want to be.
Keep writing in the journal after that too. And keep it in a safe place where no one can find it – it’s something personal.
Write about your days and all the things that happened, no matter how menial.
Even if you don’t know what to write, simply start writing and you’ll see that you’ll find a direction.
Since your journal is something only you’ll be reading, with time, it will get easier to really open up.
Keep in mind that something mundane could lead to uncovering something profound.
Don’t hold anything back and you’ll become more self-aware.
4. Start asking yourself questions
Ask yourself anything you can think of. This is great for your journal, but you can do it while doing anything else too.
Whether you’re stuck in traffic, doing the dishes, or browsing the web, your mind can be elsewhere.
Ask yourself who you are and what you want.
What can you do today that would make you feel accomplished and benefit you tomorrow?
Where are you going?
Ask yourself anything and everything, and keep in mind that there’s no such thing as wrong questions or right answers.
When you develop a habit of asking yourself questions, it will help you find yourself.
It also improves your problem-solving ability and helps you find the answer to many of life’s challenges.
5. Find the time to do the things you love
If you don’t have a job that you’re passionate about and that fulfills you, don’t let it crush your spirit.
You can still look forward to doing the things you love when you get home from work.
Experiment in the kitchen, read up on how to write a screenplay, watch a tutorial about design, grab an instrument…
There are really no limits – you can do anything that makes you happy.
You need to make time for the things that make you excited.
Don’t forget that being good at something is never just about natural ability.
It takes determination, and a lot of practice to become really good at something.
You never know, you may just strike gold with some new idea or make a career out of your passion. It’s actually more possible than you think.
And even if it doesn’t happen, you will still be making a habit out of doing something you love.
Even if it doesn’t make you rich, it will make you happy!
And something that makes you happy is never a waste of your time!
To learn how to find yourself again, you need to embrace the things that excite you.
6. Experience new things
People often get lost because of the absence of change in their life. It’s all monotony, repetition, and routine.
This is why it’s important to occasionally leave your comfort zone and experience new things.
Why don’t you visit some new place you’ve never been to? Feel free to sometimes do things you would usually avoid.
You don’t have to travel to another country or go skydiving. It can be small things.
Walk to a neighborhood you haven’t been to or visit a nearby small town.
Start a conversation with a complete stranger or try listening to music you don’t usually listen to.
It could be anything, as long as it’s new to you. This will help you become better at thinking on your feet and meeting unforeseen challenges.
Naturally, it also helps you learn how to find yourself again.
7. Experience being really lost
To get out of your comfort zone means to make a conscious decision to experience something new and unknown.
If you want to take this a step further, you can experience being really lost.
When you’re feeling lost, literally get lost and wander aimlessly.
Don’t use your phone to find out where exactly you are. If your instinct is telling you to go left, go right instead.
Get behind the wheels of your car and simply start driving until you end up in an unknown area.
This sounds scary, but it’s because it’s meant to! Besides being scary, it’s very rewarding.
You feel lost and want to find yourself again. A great therapeutic exercise in this case is to actually get lost.
Its purpose is to remind you that you can always find your way back, regardless of how lost you get.
A literal exercise like this one translates into a figurative realization that can help you when feeling lost.
8. Ask for help
When you want to find yourself, a third-party perspective can be very helpful.
It’s good to seek help from those around you that inspire you. The downside of that is that they often have a biased perspective.
This is why you could use the help of a professional.
There are a lot of life coaches these days that can really help you.
If you’ve tried everything else and it still doesn’t work for you, there’s no shame in reaching out to a life coach or therapist.
9. Learn something new
It’s never a bad time to pick up a new hobby.
Maybe it will turn out to be something that you’re not really interested in, but that’s helpful too.
It’s always good to challenge yourself, and finding out what doesn’t interest you helps you find out what does.
You can find a class about pretty much anything that you can think of, especially online.
Maybe it’s something you’d like to make a career of or something you’d like to do for fun. Whatever it is, and for whatever reason you want it, go for it!
Try it, and if it’s not for you, try something else!
Learn something new and gain new skills.
10. Reconsider your relationships and your career
Are your relationships and career positive or negative? This is something to think about when feeling lost.
If you are in an unhealthy relationship and your career’s making you unhappy, you should do something about it.
It’s hard to let go of anything that is comfortable and we often consider things from a narrow, personal perspective.
This is why we often decide that unhealthy things are positive.
I’m not saying that you should instantly quit your job if it would mean that you’d struggle to survive.
Still, you could take steps towards changing your career path. It’s never too late for that.
As for the unhealthy relationship, I know that it’s not easy, but you can always end it.
If you choose to stay in it, you’re giving up a chance to have a new relationship that could make you happy.
11. Open up to others
Discussing deep issues and truths, and getting something off your chest can be incredibly therapeutic.
Stop talking only about mundane topics. Don’t discuss just school, work, or the weather, but open up to other subjects.
It will lead to having a deeper connection with both others and yourself.
You’ll also constantly learn something new about those around you and yourself as well.
It can lead to new ways of thinking and new ideas, and this is very beneficial.
You’ll learn to truly be who you are around others, plus it’s one more way to leave your comfort zone.
12. Express your feelings
Feeling lost comes with feeling like nothing will ever change and a sense of hopelessness.
You might even feel like no one truly cares about how you feel.
Maybe you are also afraid of confrontation, bottling up your feelings until you reach your bursting point.
Expressing yourself is really important and you need to have a say in the environment you’re in.
Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and it will help you find yourself. It will also become easier to formulate how you feel.
When you can express an issue to someone else, expressing it to yourself becomes easy.
There’s something else that you need to realize too.
If someone doesn’t respect your wishes, they don’t respect you. This means that you should reconsider having them in your life in the first place.
13. Try meditating
Even though some people don’t believe that meditation can help, there’s something there. When you center your mind and try to clear it, it relaxes you.
It can also put into perspective or clarify some obstacles and problems you’re facing.
In any case, there’s no harm in trying, right?
If it’s just not your thing, that’s okay, but it’s always good to try something new and keep an open mind.
14. Reconnect with old friends
Sometimes people lose touch just because they stopped making the time to contact each other.
Reach out to someone you lost touch with. Don’t just send a text, call them instead. Ask them to meet up for a drink, lunch, or coffee.
It’s even better to reconnect with someone you were friends at a time when you felt like you knew yourself.
You’ll trigger a nostalgia that will benefit you.
15. Act a little crazy
Doing something crazy can feel amazing.
It can be something small as looking at the mirror and making stupid faces to make yourself laugh.
Of course, it can be something a lot bigger like trying bungee jumping.
Either way, when you act a little crazy, it clears negative energy and loosens you up.
If something feels right, do it, even if it seems crazy to others or to the version of you that is lost.
Maybe doing something a little crazy is an important part of your path to finding yourself.
16. Be spontaneous
Being spontaneous can be similar to acting a little crazy, but the difference is in repetition.
If you notice a store while walking home from work, go inside and look around.
Maybe you didn’t plan to go anywhere, but when you see an ad for a movie or concert, go see it.
When someone asks you for a drink, just say yes instead of thinking of all the reasons why you can’t.
Being spontaneous is often said to be a positive characteristic. Anyone can be spontaneous, so it’s not like it’s necessarily a personality trait.
Just go out and do something. Seize the moment, seize the day, and you’ll find excitement in doing something you didn’t plan to.
Be willing to say “yes” whenever there’s a good opportunity to try something new.
It will help you learn things about yourself that you weren’t aware of.
17. Don’t live in the past and forgive yourself
We have all done things in the past that we’re not proud of.
Think for a second about the skeletons in your closet and forgive yourself for everything bad that you did.
Forgive yourself for any missed opportunities and past transgressions. Don’t forget that you are your own biggest critic.
Once you let go of the past and forgive yourself, you’ll be able to start creating a better future.
It’s not healthy to dwell on the past and it might be what caused you to lose yourself in the first place.
You need to love yourself, and to be able to do that, you first have to forgive yourself.
All of us have regrets and faults, but we can’t let them stop us from finding true happiness.
Maybe you could talk to someone in confidence about the things you feel regretful or guilty about, be it a trusted loved one, therapist, priest, or life coach.
18. Live in the present moment
Try making the most of every moment because each one is a gift.
Feel, watch, dance, laugh, enjoy, listen, daydream, sing.
Every second of your life is a wonderful and beautiful miracle of existence.
Are you washing the dishes? Relive a past experience that made you feel most alive by recalling every detail of it.
Are you stuck in traffic? Turn on the radio and sing from the top of your lungs.
Be brave enough to take chances and to make mistakes.
Stop believing in certain myths and find true love.
Whatever you do, enjoy your life!
Work on the things that bother you about yourself and your life. Is there something you can change?
Ignore the things that prevent you from leading a happy life, because you owe it to yourself to be happy!
Ultimately, remember that you won’t feel lost forever.
You will find yourself again, and once you do, make sure to love yourself and make yourself happy!
We only have one life, and it’s a shame to spend it without enjoying each second of it.
Good luck!
