Think aloud
How to fall out of love with someone? He broke your heart, he made you cry more than you ever thought anyone would be able to. Now, it’s time to take your emotions into your own hands.
Loving someone who hurt you so much will make you lose faith in love completely.
You gave everything that you had and you still got pushed to the side.
It gets even worse when this person cheats on you, which makes you believe that you meant nothing to them. This act of emotional violence gives you a feeling that will stick with you for a very long time.
You’ll be triggered by so many different things without even realizing it. Especially, if we’re talking about a long-term relationship.
You were with this person for years, and they did this to you? How could they?!
Even if he didn’t just cheat on you, it’s still a heartbreaking thing to experience. You’re probably wondering how to fall out of love with someone.
Let me be the first one to tell you that you deserve the best that love has to offer, and if he wasn’t that, then you need to take things into your own hands.
How to fall out of love with someone?
1. Accept the reality of the situation
When you need to get over someone that you love, the best thing you can do is accept the reality of the situation.
Some questions that you need to ask yourself are:
- Was he a good boyfriend?
- Did he treat me with kindness?
- Would this man make a good husband and father in the future?
You can start with these questions and then move on to some deeper things that you should genuinely consider. Falling out of love will become as easy as riding a bike, once you understand that this isn’t the man for you.
Also, why would you even want to cry over someone who wasn’t able to love you the way you deserve to be loved? I mean, if he doesn’t want to be a part of your life, then he might as well begone.
“How to fall out of love with someone?” – this probably isn’t a question that you’re asking lightly. You want to move on, but the first thing you need to do is accept your position.
You’re not taken anymore, you’re single, you’re moving on. Most importantly: you’re not getting back together with him.
Because if you’re thinking about going back to the awful relationship that you were in, then there’s no point in you reading this article.
Please, accept your singleness as well as the fact that you’re hurting right now. Accepting this will remind you that all of these emotions will pass.
2. Relish in your anger
People believe that anger won’t help them when they’re trying to figure out how to fall out of love with someone. They want to demonize this emotion as if it’s something bad.
Everyone tells us that we need to forgive and forget, but I say that you need to relish in your anger. Enjoy it. Let it grow.
It won’t eat you up from the inside like people tell you, if anything it’ll give you the motivation you need to keep going.
Who does he think he is? Does he really think that he can treat you like that and get away with it? Well, he lost you and he’s not getting you back! He doesn’t deserve you.
Relishing in these thoughts will make you invincible. You won’t even feel the need to mourn him any longer.
3. Make yourself your biggest priority
The best way to fall out of love with someone would be to fall in love with yourself all over again. When you love yourself enough, no one and nothing can disrupt your peace.
Making yourself your biggest priority will make you consider your wants and needs at all times. You won’t have trouble understanding that life has so much more to offer than he ever could.
Also, when you love yourself, you won’t need anyone else to love you. You’ll be able to give yourself everything that you’ve been looking for in relationships.
Once you understand your importance in your own life, you’ll also make sure that everyone else understands it. You’ll be content with spending time with yourself, and you’ll throw everyone who doesn’t serve you out of your life.
This doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you confident and independent.
4. Get rid of the things that remind you of him
What do you have that reminds you of him? Is there something in your apartment or your house that makes your heart skip a beat?
If yes, get rid of it.
I’m not taking no for an answer. Simply, pack it all up and throw it away, or put it in a box and put it somewhere where it won’t be visible to you.
Falling out of love will be a very hard topic to talk about if you keep on cuddling the teddy that you got from him. Your heart will break every time you look at the photo of you two.
Delete those pictures. Untag yourself from pictures where the two of you are together. You’ll be doing a huge favor to yourself.
5. Take physical and digital distance from him
Talking of deleting pictures of him, how about you block him while the phone is in your hand?
Love is such a complicated thing because you feel like your heart is breaking when you think of this, but you need to do it. If you have a way to contact him, then you won’t be able to move on with ease.
Once you stop going to places where you may bump into him or stop checking on him on Instagram, you’ll see just how easy it is to let go of someone you love.
6. Go out and have fun
When you love someone who hurt you, you stop believing in the beautiful things that the world has to offer. You forget how much fun you can have without him present.
Which is why, you have to be reminded of this. The best way to do that is to go out and have fun!
Go into nature, try out hiking, or even rock climbing. If you’re not that type of person, then go out to clubs and the beach as often as your schedule will allow it.
Don’t bundle yourself up in your home and expect the emotions to pass. That’s only going to lead to depression. Getting over someone you love is an excruciating experience.
You might as well get out your sparkly heels and go out with your girlies. Don’t just mourn something that doesn’t deserve to even be mentioned.
I know, I know. You want to believe that relishing in your emotions is going to help you heal, but ask yourself – is it?
Just go out. Trust me. You’ll have an amazing time!
7. Learn from the experience
“How to fall out of love with someone?” This is a hard question to answer when I don’t know your situation. However, it’s much easier when you understand that you probably learned some valuable lessons through this experience.
You can’t diminish the fact that there was something that you did and didn’t want in this relationship. You can make a list of the lessons you’ve learned and the things that you want to avoid in your future romantic relationships.
There’s also a good chance that the breakup has shown you how strong you are and how good you’re dealing with all of this. You thought that you wouldn’t be able to live without this person, but here you are.
Take the good moments and learn from the bad ones.
8. Make a list of icks
The best advice that I got when I was asking how to fall out of love with someone is to make a list of icks.
To clarify, ick is the feeling that you get when he does something so weird that you feel slightly disgusted. For example, did he make you give him money before paying so that the waitress wouldn’t know that he wasn’t paying?
Or, the moment when you realized that he couldn’t ride a bike or couldn’t swim? You probably thought that he was such a loser for it.
However, you loved that man so you didn’t say anything. Well, making a list of those little icks will help you move on.
Just remember that time when he started moving his food around because he was such a picky eater that you had to remind yourself that this was a grown man. He had a full tantrum because his broccoli was touching the mashed potatoes! Oh. My. God!
9. Ask yourself, “Is this as good as love can get”
Love is the most beautiful thing that a person can experience in their lifetime. You know that love is worth the effort and the patience, but that wasn’t as good as love could get for you.
If you choose to journal and remind yourself of the things you had to go through because of this man, you’ll understand that you were in this relationship, and you never once felt actual love from him.
Love should be gentle. Love should feel like entering a house and finally realizing that you’re home.
That person should be your safe haven, not a stormy sea. If it makes you cry and doubt your partner, then there’s nothing for you to look for anymore.
Even though this sounds brutal, somewhere deep in your heart, you know that love has so much more to offer. Which is why you have to fall out of love with him!
Someone better is coming your way, for sure.