How Narcissists Destroy Empaths: 13 Things You Need To Know

Understanding a narcissist
By Ashley Knight
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Have you ever wondered about how narcissists destroy empaths?

Maybe you’re an empath who isn’t even aware that you’re being manipulated to the point of no return?

When you were a little girl, did you always feel like you could feel the pain and happiness of others?

Were you always drawn to people and their energies?

If someone had a bad day, you would know that your day would become just as bad.

That’s because an empath feels the emotions of others very vividly.

This can become quite an issue when you encounter someone who doesn’t really have the purest of intentions with you.

Your love is supposed to heal people and you’re supposed to be loved by someone just as gentle as you are.

Even if you don’t want to believe it, your heart is safest with someone who knows how fragile you are and how easily moods and emotions affect you.

What would happen if you and your unconditional love fell into the hands of a narcissistic man? He wouldn’t wait long to destroy you.

As human beings, we search for people who have traits that we desire. You saw something special in him, you saw something that was worth loving.

Did you misjudge the situation?

Would someone with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) really be able to break another human being like that or is that just a myth?

How narcissists destroy empaths

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You might think that you could recognize narcissism from a mile away, but narcissists have found ways to incorporate themselves into society without anyone ever doubting them.

The red flags you’re looking for might be invisible to eyes that are clouded by love and affection.

Narcissists use manipulation tactics that are very unique to each one of them.

Narcissistic abuse isn’t something that we can spot naturally, it takes someone with excellent observational skills. 

You might believe that because of the fact you are so in tune with everyone around you, you’re able to see right through him, but abusers have their own tactics that they have been able to perfect over the years.

I would love to tell you that it’s easy to spot them but it’s not. That’s exactly how they destroy empaths.

The people they are most drawn to are those who are sensitive and they can give them the most satisfaction. 

The most obvious reason why an empath isn’t able to see that they are a victim of narcissistic abuse is that they would never do the things a narcissist does.

It usually takes an empath a massive wake-up call to realize that there are extremely bad people out there.

A narcissistic partner might even look like a victim in their eyes, if the narcissist really wants to present himself like that.

More often than not, an empath will try to shine some light into the dark mind of their partner.

An empathetic person wants to make everyone around them feel safe as well.

So, have you ever wondered how narcissists destroy empaths?

Are you an empath who’s scared of having this happen to you so you just want to be safe?

1. They create a codependent relationship

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We all know that codependency in relationships is extremely toxic.

When a narcissist finds a way to make you dependent on him, he will use it so that you can’t do anything without him.

As an empath, you will search for his validation on anything and everything you do.

This will go much deeper too.

For example, you’ll always ask him what he thinks about the things you do in your life and you won’t be able to make decisions for yourself.

There will come a point where you’ll feel like you can’t go out without him.

You don’t want to engage in an argument, so you choose to stay at home with him.

That’s his narcissistic personality expecting you to have all of your focus on him and to depend on him fully.

The dominant behavior he exudes is enough to make you believe that he really is your caretaker.

It’s very obvious how narcissists destroy empaths with this, because they make you believe that without them, you can’t do anything.

2. They make you lose contact with your loved ones

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The people who see how bad for you he really is are also the people who love you the most.

Your loved ones will tell you that he’s no good, that you’re better off without him. 

If you ever wondered how narcissists destroy empaths, this is another major way.

They make you lose contact with your loved ones, claiming that they want to separate you two.

A narcissist wants you to stay by his side for a long period of time so he can’t let your family and friends meddle in his plans. 

Once you do lose contact with your family and friends, there’s no one to tell you that you should leave him.

There’s no one left to tell you that you’ll be fine once you walk away. 

He makes you believe that your family members only want to separate you two and that your love is stronger than that.

These are just manipulation tactics where he wants you to only have him in your life.

3. They gaslight you

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At what point did gaslighting seem like something you’d encounter? You thought that the people around you were too good for such awful things.

Look around you. Do you feel like you’re forgetting stuff more easily?

Do you feel like you can’t really yell at him because you must have imagined certain things happening?

Does he call you crazy when you tell him how you feel?

You hide, you hug yourself tighter to take up less space, because what if he started arguing with you about something?

You always have the feeling like you’re under attack. 

Something inside you is screaming to flee and run as fast as you can, but your mind is telling you that you’re crazy for wanting that.

Another obvious way that narcissists destroy empaths is that they gaslight them into believing that tending to their own needs is selfish and that they’re undeserving of it.

This is an extremely common method that all sociopaths and psychopaths use, as well as narcissists.

4. They lower your self-esteem

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When an empath’s self-esteem is very low, they stop believing that they deserve better treatment.

It’s kind of a superpower to make someone forget their self-worth and make them forget everything about self-care.

That’s exactly how narcissists destroy empaths. Empaths need to take care of themselves because they are so sensitive. 

Every empath should have a self-care regime that consists of the things they love doing by themselves, which is crucial for their self-esteem.

Because they feel things so deeply, they need to isolate their emotions from the emotions of others.

A narcissist doesn’t allow that. He demands all of your undivided time and attention and that’s when he becomes the only focus in your life.

5. They stalk your social media

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​When we say ‘stalking’, you might believe we just mean scrolling through your posts to see what’s going on. That’s not it. 

Someone with a narcissistic personality type will not only stalk your social media but also control every post you make, every picture you like, and every message you answer.

It’s a well-known fact that narcissists love to be in control, so they’ll try anything to control you as well.

As a true empath, you don’t want to make him mad, you don’t want to lose his trust and that’s why you obey. 

The first time he asks you for the passwords to your social media accounts, you might believe that it’s a joke or that he’s just trying to see something, but it’s not. 

This is one of the obvious ways that narcissists destroy empaths.

They cut off all of the contact you have with the outside world and they manipulate you into believing that it’s what you want.

If you post anything or reply to any message without previously consulting the narcissist, he will make a huge deal about it, believe me.

6. If you do find it in you to leave, the trauma will follow you

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It always depends on the individual as to how long it will take them to realize that they’re being manipulated by a narcissist.

Some people get stuck in these unhealthy relationship dynamics their entire life.

However, if you’re one of the lucky people who were able to spot that they were being manipulated by a narcissist and you manage to leave, just know that the trauma will follow.

This person has taught you that you deserve certain treatment that is not humane. You will doubt any other guy who comes into your life.

You will always be on the lookout and your empathetic heart will always be extremely anxious because of this.

It’ll take you a lot of time to figure things out and to heal from what you went through.

Your self-esteem is at an all-time low, your heart is broken and you doubt your every decision. This is exactly how narcissists destroy empaths.

Signs you’re dating a narcissist

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Now that we’ve discussed how narcissists destroy empaths, it’s a good idea to see whether the man you’re dating is a narcissist himself.

You might not even realize it.

As said before, a narcissist knows what he’s doing, as he’s had practice, and that’s why we need to get you out of there as soon as possible.

If you see any of these signs that you’re dating a narcissist or that you’re being manipulated, confide in any of your friends or family who will be there for you.

Reach out for help and don’t look back.

As soon as you start doubting your decision to leave a narcissist, he’ll catch on to it and use your weakness to his advantage.

This might sound to you like some predator-prey scenario, but for him, it is, even if he’s not aware of it.

If you’re an empath, you need to be able to identify a narcissist, simply to keep yourself safe.

1. He opened up to you on your first date

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This is one of the times when it’ll be obvious how narcissists destroy empaths. It’s also a huge sign that someone is actually a narcissist.

When you two meet for the first time, you go out on a date, and instead of doing what sociopaths do and question you, he’ll tell you a sad story about himself.

Sociopaths ask all sorts of questions to relate your personality with theirs.

Narcissists know that you’ll get suspicious of them, so they tell you stories first.

He will confide in you so fast that you might even be surprised by the amount of personal information he gives you.

Because you’re an empath, you’ll want to help him and he knows it.

If the man you’re currently dating told you extremely personal things before you even started to trust him in return, then you need to know that that’s the first sign he’s a narcissist.

2. He thrives on the compliments you give him

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So when he told you that sad story and you assured him that he was strong and that he could get through it, or if he told you that he isn’t that confident and you started telling him one compliment after another, how did he react?

He seemed to recover from that little setback quite quickly, wouldn’t you agree?

One moment he was all shy and gloomy, but the moment you complimented him, he was back in the game.

Narcissists feed off of empathy and compliments from other people because they help them keep sight of their target.

This is the scariest part of how narcissists destroy empaths.

He feeds off of your compliments and he uses all the energy you put into the conversation to lift himself up.

3. He constantly degrades you

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It started off as simple jokes that were thrown at you here and there, but now they are full-blown insults.

When you do call him out on it, he probably tells you that you need to learn how to take a joke or that you’re too sensitive.

It doesn’t matter whether you tell him that you like something or if it’s about your appearance, he will go straight for an insult and degrade you.

He’s trying to keep himself in control of the situation by putting down your own self-esteem. A narcissist won’t bat an eyelid when they insult you.

That’s why you can’t take this lightly. If he makes you feel uncomfortable because of anything that he says, you have the full right to talk about it.

If he doesn’t apologize right away, or if he apologizes only to repeat the mistake, you can leave him.

He is a narcissist. Do you now understand how narcissists destroy empaths?

​4. He doesn’t listen to you and thinks that he’s always right

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No one is perfect. Let’s get that out of the way.

You know that and you’re willing to acknowledge your own faults and work on them, but you’re also ready to forgive mistakes.

However, what happens when you’re dating a narcissist?

It’s a huge red flag when you see that he refuses to listen to anything that you say and he always thinks he’s right.

When he talks to you, it always seems like he’s talking down to you. 

You might even try to explain certain things to him, or you might try to confront him about something bad that he did.

He just seems to look right through you and turns the conversation into something extremely emotionally manipulative. 

That is NOT what a relationship should look like.

If you’re experiencing these things with someone, he’s most probably a narcissist, especially if you know you’re right but he keeps trying to convince you otherwise.

Don’t doubt yourself now that you know how narcissists destroy empaths.

​5. He doesn’t want to commit

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There are many reasons why someone doesn’t want to commit and it’s their choice.

However, if you see this sign in addition to some of the others that we’ve talked about here, then you have a narcissist on your hands.

A narcissist believes that they’re too good for just one relationship and they’re always looking for another partner, someone who will be easier to manipulate.

You have to understand that your codependent relationship isn’t just based on you depending on him.

That’s why he’s keeping you around, even though he doesn’t want to make it official.

He needs you to make him feel special. You are the empath he turns to when he needs validation as well.

He needs you just as much in order to feed his psychosis.

6. He guilt-trips you into staying

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So you already tried leaving the guy who you think to be a narcissist? When you tried to walk away, he emotionally guilt-tripped you into staying?

When you try to leave him, a narcissist might use all the knowledge he has accumulated about you against you.

Don’t forget that narcissists are extremely intelligent and they know what they’re doing.

He will start to panic when you try to leave and he will tell you that you’re abandoning him.

He might even start to threaten that he’ll hurt himself just because you’re leaving.

A man like this won’t shy away from telling you that you’re throwing away everything you two built together.

He might even go so far as to tell you that you never loved him anyway.

These are all manipulation tactics that show how narcissists destroy empaths, but don’t let yourself be fooled.

He does all of that on purpose just to keep you from leaving.

And if you believe that he’s doing it out of love for you, you would be greatly mistaken.

7. He becomes mad when you stick to your decision

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When you stick to your guns and decide that you’re going to leave him, he’ll just lash out at you.

He’ll call you extremely offensive names, and he’ll tell you that he could do so much better without you and that he’ll find someone prettier.

His words will hurt like hell but don’t let yourself be fooled and don’t turn around. He’s playing a dangerous game that you don’t want to be a part of. 

Show him that you’re better than that and just keep on walking. You deserve so much better. 

Life after a narcissist

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When you leave your narcissistic partner, you might feel like you’ve done something wrong and that’s because he made you believe that he’s the only person who will ever love you.

Believe me when I tell you that he never loved you. Narcissists are not capable of love and affection.

He was not capable of feeling any empathy toward any of the things you were going through.

Narcissists are pathological liars who only look for victims to blame for their poor choices in life. That’s what this is actually about.

Life after surviving narcissistic abuse isn’t that easy.

You’ll cry a lot, you’ll doubt your own decisions, and you’ll question whether you truly did the right thing.

Things will look very dark and you’ll feel hopeless at times.

I’m just keeping it real with you, because leaving a narcissistic partner isn’t the easiest thing you will do.

It’s not roses and butterflies and it’s not a walk in the park.

Believe me when I tell you that leaving him will be the easier part, because you’ll have to work on yourself a lot after you walk away from him.

But it will be worth it.

You’ll regain your own strength. You’ll find your own voice again.

Once you leave him, you will glow up, because life has a funny way of working out in your favor.

Even if you’re concerned about how narcissists destroy empaths, you can still fight for yourself.

You are stronger than him and you will win this battle! Fight for yourself, because you don’t deserve his abuse.

I promise you, you’ll be fine.

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