What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? This might be an unusual question to some.
However, when you find yourself in this type of situation, you can’t help but wonder. It’s not easy dealing with a narcissist, especially when you’re planning a breakup.
These two types of people when matched together are a disaster waiting to happen. If you’re the empath, you may not think of it that way.
To compare these two for a better understanding, it’s like adding fuel to the fire. Narcissistic behavior is the fire that’s burning brightly, whereas an empath’s love and care represent the fuel.
Empaths are prone to feeling sorry for others. This is advantageous to narcissists because that’s what they need to achieve in order to manipulate people.
We all know that those with narcissistic personality disorder aren’t the most enjoyable ones out there. In fact, they can ruin your life in seconds, and knowing them even for a short period of time can feel like hell.
Somehow, we tend to miss out on some of the common red flags of a narcissist. They have this incredible ability to portray themselves as someone way better than who they really are.
Narcissists don’t have a hard time selecting and winning over their victims. Unfortunately, this is particularly true when it comes to empaths.
You can say they’re drawn to them like a moth to the flame. You’re not aware of this almost-obsession developing because you’re blinded by all the love and charm.
Perhaps you’re getting tired of all the narcissistic abuse you’ve been put through. But it’s hard deciding to split up and it can also be scary.
Why are empaths and narcissists attracted to each other?
At first glance, you might think that these two are poles apart. Narcissists are egocentric and don’t care about others, whereas empaths are complete opposites.
If you’re an empath, you know how much of a struggle it can be. You’d think that an empathetic person deserves to be treated the best way possible.
It’s completely true. Unfortunately, narcissists could care less about whether you’re an empath or not. A victim will always be just that in their eyes.
So, these fundamental differences might confuse you as to why these two are so attracted to each other. In order to find out what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, we must start from the beginning.
Why are empaths drawn to narcissists and vice versa?
An empath appears as the missing piece of a puzzle to a narcissist. They have all of the predispositions to become narcissists’ main targets.
With your sympathy and compassion, you become an easy target. However, you’ll likely not notice he’s using you right away. It can take months, even years for you to realize what’s happening.
And when his true face finally surfaces, there’s a high chance you’ll try to reason with his behavior. A narcissist never changes, remember that.
What goes on between a narcissist and an empath?
Being an empath is hard on its own. It’s especially hard when you’re being taken advantage of. But your nurturing and caring nature just won’t let you see things as they are.
You’re always trying to be comforting and wanting to help relieve the person’s pain. Unfortunately, in most cases, the one who really gets hurt is you.
Narcissists need someone to manipulate, gaslight, guilt trip, and love bomb. They have an inflated sense of self, which makes them treat others badly.
An empath is the ideal narcissistic supply. You may not know what this means yet, but I bet you can relate to it.
A narcissistic supply implies a person that constantly goes back to their abuser no matter how badly they get hurt. An empath is a perfect example of it.
You can’t believe your partner doesn’t wish you well. Because of your compassionate personality, you’re always seeking the tiniest bit of good in people.
But what happens when there is none of that good? You just keep on searching until you get worn out. It’s an endless search party, and in the end, you’re left with nothing. This is what life with a narcissist can look like for an empath.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll most likely feel drained all of the time. You don’t have the energy to confront your partner because you’re always wrong or making things up.
Due to your placidity and empathy, you tend to just drop it when he picks a fight. You’re so scared of hurting his feelings, you end up neglecting yours instead.
How does a narcissist manipulate an empath?
For a narcissist, it’s a piece of cake. They’re so experienced in what they do, so an empath doesn’t take up much of their effort.
If you have tendencies to feel sorry for others and sympathize with them, you’re prime prey. It’s basically everything narcissists look for in a person.
He will manipulate you into thinking that he’s always the victim, not you. He’s the one who got hurt and who carries the heavy burden.
He might’ve told you about his past toxic relationships and that’s where he had you. All it takes is a couple of pouts and maybe a few tears, and he’s got you hook, line, and sinker.
You can’t help but pity him, which only plays directly into his hand. It’s like getting stuck in quicksand. The more you try to comfort him and get close to him, the deeper he pulls you down.
In the end, you’re the one who suffers and suffocates. This is hard to avoid because, after all, you’re a people pleaser.
In a healthy relationship, this could be a match made in heaven – if you were just someone who wants to care deeply for a person and your partner just wants to be cared for.
However, in this scenario, it’s much more twisted. Your kindness is being exploited without remorse. A narcissist cares only for himself, but you don’t see that because you’re used to obliging someone else’s wishes.
A narcissist is also prone to gaslighting an empath. It’s a ridiculous method they use to deceive people that fall victim to their ways.
It leaves you thinking you’re going crazy and imagining things. He distorts reality so you believe you’ve gone bonkers.
Why does an empath give in to a narcissist’s abuse?
Most of the time, it’s hard for an empath to control their emotions. They constantly feel the urge to help someone else.
This can lead them to believe people are always seeking their help, even if they’re not. Oftentimes, they’ll put aside their feelings in order to please another.
When an empath crosses paths with a narcissist, all hell breaks loose. If you’re an empath yourself, you desire to find a partner who likes being taken care of.
You have the innate need to fulfill all of their wishes, no questions asked. This trait can come back to bite you in the face.
What happens when an empath falls for a narcissist? It leaves them captivated by this person who accepts all of the love they have to give.
People ask you, “Why did you stay with your narcissistic partner for so long?” “Why didn’t you leave them earlier?” And to be fair, you sometimes ask yourself these same things.
But you don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. You especially don’t have to justify your actions to people, certainly not to those who’ve never been in this kind of situation.
However, don’t mistake people who offer help for nosey parkers or meddlers. A narcissist has many tricks up his sleeve and he knows how to distance you from your loved ones.
Before you know it, he’s convinced you everyone is out to destroy you and you’re left all alone. All of a sudden, he’s the one who’s been by our side all this time…
It’s not that an empath gives in to the narcissist’s abuse. They’re being taken advantage of and it might take some time for them to come to terms with it.
What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist?
There are plenty of possible case scenarios. If you plan on leaving your narcissist partner, you might want to brace yourself for the outcome.
I don’t mean to scare you, but narcissists are a pain in the neck. Your partner will probably try to keep you by their side.
As I previously said, it’s all about having someone to lash out at. He may tell you how much he loves you and how sorry he is, but don’t fall for this trap once again.
You’ve felt sorry for him and people like him for quite some time now. It’s about time you stand up for yourself and say enough is enough.
You’ve finally come to the conclusion that you must leave this narcissist, but you’re scared of the consequences. Perhaps you already tried in the past and things didn’t go as planned.
Here are some of the possible case scenarios of what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist.
Narcissist edition
1. He wants you back
When someone relies on you as much as a narcissist relies on an empath, they won’t want to let you go that easily.
He’ll try reasoning with you and probably try to stop you from leaving. If you abandon him, he’ll be left without his narcissistic supply.
Don’t be fooled by his sweet words, though. He doesn’t love you and he doesn’t miss you for who you are. He simply doesn’t want to lose someone who serves as his punching bag. Harsh, but true.
His intentions are to make you feel sorry for him. This is the same trap that you fell into in the beginning.
2. It’s you
A narcissist loves blaming others for everything. If they did it for a living, I’m sure they’d make a fortune.
If you confront him and suggest separation, it probably won’t go that smoothly. Once again, you’ll be accused of not trying hard enough.
Moreover, he’ll point fingers at you for breaking up. It’s never a narcissist who’s at fault. No, this is a perfect way to make you feel sorry for him once again.
He’ll constantly guilt-trip you in the hopes of changing your mind. This is a common tactic for a narcissist, manipulator, and gaslighter.
A narcissist’s goal is to make the person feel bad about themselves and to manipulate them into doing what suits him.
Also, he changes the perception of reality so you believe everything he says. The end goal is to make you trust him more. Before you know it, you seek his validation and confirmation.
3. He’s sorry
Another thing that happens when an empath leaves a narcissist is that he gets this newfound sense of regret. He hasn’t had this before, and yes, it’s suspicious. You must think to yourself that he only came to realize what’s happening now.
This isn’t the case. It’s more likely that he’s trying to manipulate you again to stay by his side. A simple “sorry” won’t cut it and you know it.
However, you might feel compelled to stay in order to see if he can really change. Just remember what we said: Narcissists don’t change. Ever.
4. Here come the promises
When he realizes he’s unsuccessful in persuading you to stay, he’ll become desperate. In the spur of the moment, he becomes someone else.
You’re looking at him in disbelief and can’t understand what’s happening. Who’s this person standing in front of you?
He came with all different kinds of proposals, promises, and feigned honesty. Yes, that’s how narcissists can be when trying to manipulate someone.
They’re awfully convincing, so be careful. He won’t give up if he senses you still have feelings for him and you’re having second thoughts.
5. He found another victim
Only when a narcissist finds someone else to bother is when he’ll move on. Unless another person falls victim to his abuse, he won’t give you up that easily.
You were easy prey because of your empathetic personality. He didn’t have to work that hard to get you all caught up in his web of lies.
Also, he just enjoyed himself too much. This might be hard to hear, but it’s the unfortunate truth. And you need to hear this in order to comprehend what’s happened.
A narcissist will stop calling and texting you when he determines he doesn’t need you anymore. He drained his narcissistic supply so he has no more use for you.
This is tough to hear, but it is what’s going through his mind. A person who thinks highly of himself won’t let his victim slip that easily unless he wants to.
Empath edition
1. You rethink your choice
You’ve been in this abusive relationship for so long. It’s all you’ve known for the last couple of years.
It’s hard to just get up and leave him. Although he’s hurt you a lot in the past, you still feel attached to him.
You may believe that this is not the person you fell in love with and that’s true. However, a wolf in a sheep’s clothing is still a wolf.
There’s a chance you might feel sorry for your narcissistic partner once again. You feel guilty for giving up that easily.
Despite your attempts to help him these past years, it wasn’t enough. Perhaps you could’ve done things differently?
These thoughts can mess with your mind. You know it’s wrong to want to go back, but you can’t help it. It’s just how you are.
His dependency might deceive you into thinking that he really needs you. This is dangerous because it can lead you right into his trap once again.
2. Your future is unknown
Being stuck with a narcissist in a relationship for so long can be exhausting. However, it’s been your only reality for some time now.
This might stop you from mustering up the courage to move on. You’re unsure of what a new life looks like without your partner in it.
In fact, you’re so used to the abuse that you started to think it’s normal. You’re not too eager to find out how it feels to be on your own.
Even if he was using you for his own benefit, you tried to reason his behavior and simply dismiss it as a mistake. But let me ask you something, can you keep count of his mistakes?
3. You feel sorry once again
You might just want to give up and think that you’re wired this way. Is this what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist?
There’s actually a high chance of this taking place. You know you can’t help your ex, but there’s a voice telling you to give it a shot.
But don’t you think you’ve done enough of this? Trying to make him a better person and constantly feeling sorry and guilty for not succeeding?
It’s not you, it’s him. This is the one time that this sentence is completely true.
You can’t go on narcissist rescue missions because they don’t want that. They don’t want someone to help them because they enjoy being who they are. They’re convinced they have this great power to make people their prisoners.
Think long and hard before you feel sorry for your narcissistic partner once again.
4. Cognition kicks in
When an empath leaves a narcissist, will one or both of them suffer greatly?
Well, an empath will have a hard time for some period. Once they finally realize that this place isn’t where they’re supposed to be, they’ll make a decision.
If you’ve just recently come to the conclusion that you should leave your narcissistic partner, you might feel relieved. This great feeling of freedom is all it takes to help you take that next step.
You started to recall all the bad things he’s done to you. This hit you and it hit you hard. This time, you’re not feeling sorry for him, but for yourself because you endured all of that.
5. What will others say?
If you’re an empath, you’re used to putting other people first. It’s what you did with your narcissist partner as well.
Your emotions and well-being were never your priority. You somehow never have the time to pay attention to how you feel.
Instead, you always take into consideration other people’s feelings and opinions. You gladly listen to them and genuinely care about their perspective and needs. However, this can take you a major step back from moving on.
You’re likely to contemplate what others will say if you break up. It’s a common scenario that happens when an empath leaves a narcissist. The empath wishes to resist the urge to care about others’ opinions but doesn’t know how.
If you think you don’t have it in you, trust me, you do. You can do it; it takes only a couple of tries.
Bottom line
If you wondered what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, I hope this cleared it for you. There are tons of different case scenarios that could take place.
Keep in mind that narcissists are oftentimes unpredictable, with many tricks up their sleeves and a backup plan. A narcissist will hold onto an empath tightly to gain continued access to his narcissistic supply.
Many empaths fall victim to narcissistic abuse because of their caring and forgiving nature. They’re worried about what people may think and often overanalyze things. A narcissist uses these personality traits to his great advantage.
It’s like a game of cat and mouse. He’s chasing you until you fall into one of his traps. This can either be manipulation, gaslighting, or love bombing, next to other infamous tactics.
All of your previous experiences with your narcissistic partner assured you he’s not the one you want to pick a fight with. Because in the end, you’re always the one to get the short end of the stick.
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