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Let’s Settle It: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?

Let’s Settle It: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?

We’ve all heard of horror honeymoon phase stories where you take your rose-colored glasses off and work out that you’re actually disgusted by your partner. Worry not, that’s not something that happens to all couples. What’s the tea on the honeymoon phase, and how long does the honeymoon phase last?

When you get together with someone for the first time, you’re probably obsessed with everything about them. You spend hours and hours every day getting to know each other, making plans for the future, and whispering sweet nothings when no one’s around. You can’t get enough of each other’s company.

While that can go on for years and years, more times than not, couples report that the honeymoon phase ends before the serious, committed, grown-up relationship starts. Well, that’s the thing with the honeymoon phase – phases are meant to come by, last for a little bit, and go away.

When the honeymoon phase ends, you might end up feeling like you’re no longer itching to be in a relationship with your partner or like you’re falling out of love with your partner. We’re bringing you everything you need to know to help you understand this period and how to navigate it.

What is the honeymoon phase?

Let's Settle It: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?

Starting with the obvious question, we do need to first define the honeymoon phase.

Whether you’re at the beginning of a relationship or going strong with your partner for months and months, you’ve probably heard your friends and family say something along the lines of “Wait till the honeymoon phase is over!” or “You’re blinded by the honeymoon phase!”

What’s up with that? Now, the term “honeymoon phase” refers to the beginning of the relationship where everything the two of you do together seems perfect, carefree, and blissful. You’re having the time of your lives, bonding, and laughing together. You’re making memories. You’re falling head over heels.

We’d argue that the honeymoon phase typically starts at the beginning of the relationship and goes on for a couple of months, depending on the couple’s compatibility. We’d also argue that every couple goes through the honeymoon phase, regardless of how long the phase ends up lasting.

When does the honeymoon phase start?

As we’ve already mentioned, the honeymoon phase typically starts from the get-go. More times than not, when you meet someone who draws your attention, you end up wanting to know everything about that person – and, coincidentally, everything about that person sounds fascinating.

We don’t know the science behind the honeymoon phase, but we do know that there’s something to be underlined about the fact that you’re suddenly building your entire life around a stranger who smells great and makes you smile. We do, however, need to state that the honeymoon phase can be tricky.

While there’s nothing wrong with getting excited about the prospect of meeting “the one,” you do need to remind yourself that your partner might not be as perfect as you’re conditioned to believe. When the honeymoon phase ends, you might be surprised to see that your partner was a mere human all along.

How long does the honeymoon phase last?

Lets Settle It How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last

All relationships are different, which means all honeymoon phases are different. While you and your partner might experience the honeymoon phase from the beginning of your relationship, your friends might enter the honeymoon phase after they get engaged or get married.

With that in mind, your honeymoon phase might last anywhere between six months and two years, but there is no hard and fast rule for how long you may be in this phase. When you’re in love, you should focus on enjoying the time the two of you spend together, rather than obsessing over some phase.

After all, you can’t predict the future, and you can’t tell whether you and your partner are going to be all over each other forever or for the time being. The best thing you can do is enjoy every minute of it and take it one day at a time. When you get out of the honeymoon phase, you’ll know it.

How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over?

1. You start to notice your partner’s flaws

Now that we answered the burning question, we can tackle the ramifications of the end of the honeymoon phase. When you and your partner notice a shift, you might be scared that your relationship might be coming to an end. Don’t stress, that’s not the case.

When the honeymoon phase comes to an end, you might start to pick up on your partner’s flaws, get annoyed by their quirks, and overthink the little things they do. While that might be a tough pill to swallow, there’s nothing wrong with that.

After all, you’re also aware that your partner isn’t perfect.

2. You struggle to compromise

Let's Settle It: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?

Where problems might arise, though, is when you and your partner start to struggle with communication and compromise because you’ve taken the rose-colored glasses off. Sure, you might feel like you’re doing something wrong or like the two of you aren’t compatible, but most times, that’s not what’s going on.

When you get over the exciting getting-to-know-each-other phase, you might develop a reluctance to do everything your partner wants you to do. At the beginning of the relationship, you wanted to compromise about everything because you wanted to make your partner happy.

And now that the two of you are entering the serious, committed phase, you’re starting to take your own feelings and needs more seriously, too.

3. You become more susceptible to conflict

Ugh, as the novelty of the relationship wears off, you might find yourself becoming more likely to butt heads, too. Although you were one hundred percent sure you’d never say or do anything to hurt each other, suddenly you’re getting on each other’s nerves and pushing each other’s buttons.

We’re not saying that conflict should be a part of a healthy relationship, but you’re allowed to have healthy discussions and arguments with your partner. It’s perfectly normal to disagree. It’s okay to have a bad day and react badly.

When you start getting more and more annoyed by your partner, you’re probably out of the honeymoon phase – and that’s okay.

4. You start to pull away from your partner physically and emotionally

Lets Settle It How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last 4

We might be stepping on some toes here, but we do need to address the fact that your partner may start pulling away from you physically and emotionally. There’s no need to freak out over this, but you should consider the possibility that the two of you are getting comfortable around each other.

When you’re at the beginning of the relationship, all you want to do is spend time together. You want to watch Netflix, snuggle, whisper sweet nothings, and bond over pretty much everything. You want to share your days with each other.

When you get out of the honeymoon phase, though, you want to spend some time alone – not because you’re bored with your partner, but because you don’t want your relationship to become the number one thing that gets you out of bed.

5. You become (too) comfortable around your partner

While we’re on the topic of getting comfortable around your partner, we might as well address the fact that sometimes you may take things a little too far. When are you too comfortable around your partner?

When the honeymoon phase ends and the two of you start getting closer, chummier, and more chill around each other, you might notice that you’re comfortable with not wearing makeup, not getting dressed up, or even not leaving the room when you need to burp.

While that might work for some couples, other couples might feel like they’ve lost the mystery or the spark that kept them coming back for more. Whatever the case might be, you and your partner need to figure out what works for you.

6. You start taking your partner for granted

Let's Settle It: How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?

Not everything at the end of the honeymoon phase needs to be negative, but sometimes that’s what the entire process feels like. When you suddenly start noticing your partner’s flaws, arguing, and taking your partner for granted, you might feel like you’re falling out of love.

We’re here to reassure you: There’s nothing wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship. You’ve simply come to a point in your relationship in which you need to decide which route to go. You need to decide whether you’re ready to work on your relationship or give up.

You’ve done the “I can’t imagine my life without you” thing, and now you need to do the “how do I make this relationship work” thing. All of this is not just perfectly acceptable, but it’s also imperative for the growth of your relationship. A long-term relationship begins when the honeymoon phase ends.

What to do when the honeymoon phase ends?

When the honeymoon phase ends, you might feel like you’ve reached the end of your relationship, too. You might feel like you’re pulling away from your partner or like you’re walking on eggshells every time you’re having a hard conversation. You might feel like you’re deciding on the future of your relationship.

Whether you’re in love with your partner or confused about your emotions, you need to take things one step at a time. Be patient. Be present. Be mindful of your partner and your relationship.

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