Think aloud
“He took me for granted so I left him. Have I made a mistake?”
There’s nothing worse than when the person you love the most takes you for granted. The realization that you made them a priority while they don’t mind putting you last is enough to break your heart.
You want your romantic relationship to be based on love and an equal amount of effort. Instead, it turned out to be a constant battle for your boyfriend’s attention.
No, you don’t want to make him chase you. That was never a part of the plan.
You simply want him to show you that you’re his priority through all of the little things. And you want that to happen because he truly wants to do it and not because you made him.
What would’ve happened if you didn’t leave him when he took you for granted?
Even though you may be doubting your decision, it’s obvious that you didn’t make a mistake. You gave him plenty of chances and opportunities to change his behavior.
Still, he decided to do the same. Instead of showing you how much you mean to him, he acted like your presence in his life isn’t a big deal.
Becuase of that, your only right choice was to leave. It was either you end the relationship or your self-esteem suffers.
You did the right thing by choosing to walk away from him. It’s always better to be an ex-girlfriend than to be a girlfriend who lets her guy walk all over her.
But if you’re still doubting whether you did the right thing by leaving a guy who took you for granted, then keep on reading.
I’ll share with you all of the things that would’ve happened if you chose to stay in a relationship that wasn’t making you happy anymore.
1. Unhappiness would’ve consumed you
Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that your partner is allowed to take you for granted. Just because you’ve been together for a while, it doesn’t give him permission to change the way he treats you.
When you start to see all of the red flags and realize you’ve been taken for granted, your whole mood changes. You become upset and dissatisfied with the direction you’re headed.
Your partner replaces all of the small things he used to do for you with empty promises and a nagging feeling of neglect. And as days go by, you start to feel worse about yourself.
The only two feelings you experience end up being unhappiness and dissatisfaction. And after that, you mirror these emotions into every other aspect of your life.
If you didn’t do anything to change the situation you were currently in, your pain would’ve only snowballed. All of the simple things that used to bring a smile to your face would no longer be able to do that.
You would become chronically unhappy and all of that because your partner was taking you for granted.
This would’ve been your reality had you not decided to react. If you stayed in an unhappy relationship, you would’ve steadily ruined your own life.
But fortunately, you did the right thing and decided to walk away. That’s what saved you from going through a lot of unnecessary pain.
2. You would’ve started to resent him
When being taken for granted over a long period of time, you start to resent the person you’re actually supposed to love.
Your loved one becomes your biggest enemy and you no longer know how to act around him. The moment you see him, you only start thinking about the way he’s been treating you lately.
It no longer matters that you shared a ton of amazing memories together. The only thing on your mind is the fact that he treats you as if you’re not his partner.
These feelings of resentment eventually turn into hate. Instead of loving your boyfriend the most, you start to feel happier whenever he’s not around.
So, the moment you left that guy who took you for granted, you did one of the best things you could do for yourself.
3. You would’ve started to look for happiness elsewhere
When a guy takes you for granted, your love life suffers. Because you don’t feel happy and fulfilled in your relationship, you start looking for these somewhere else.
No matter how many times you tell your boyfriend that he needs to change, you still see no results. You feel stuck and this desperate need for something that will make you feel happy once again.
In this case, you may turn to cheating or some kind of an addiction, neither of which is ever a good choice. But these are all possible scenarios that could’ve happened had you decided to stay in a relationship where you were being taken for granted.
Fortunately, when you left this toxic place for the sake of your happiness, you immediately changed the final outcome. You gave yourself a chance to once again lead a life you deserve to have.
When you left him, you saved yourself from all of the negativity that could’ve ruined you.
6 possible reasons why he took you for granted
Even though you probably don’t want your ex back, you still want to know what made him take you for granted in the first place. You need to know all of the possible reasons that made him treat you the way he did.
That way, when you find yourself in a new relationship, you’ll be able to prevent your new partner from treating you the way this guy did.
1. He cares more about his friends, family, and work than he cares about you
When a guy doesn’t care about you the same way you care about him, he’ll show it by taking you for granted. He knows you love him, so he doesn’t bother to make an effort around you.
He’s sure you won’t leave him no matter what, so he chooses to put everyone and everything else in front of you.
He bails on your plans to hang out with his friends, he puts his family first, and even his coworkers get more of his attention than you do. All in all, it becomes obvious that he cares more about all of the other human beings around him than he does about you.
You could only tolerate this behavior for so long before you realized you had enough and that you couldn’t let him treat you like this. That’s when you decided you had to leave him for the sake of your own happiness.
2. He didn’t know how to break up with you
Maybe he took you for granted because he had no idea how to break up with you. He couldn’t just walk away from you but he also didn’t know how to tell you that he wanted out of the relationship.
In this case, it seemed much easier to give you the cold shoulder and ignore you for a while. No matter what you did for him, he wouldn’t give you the same in return. He simply took you for granted until you had enough.
It may sound like the easy way out to him, but it certainly isn’t the right way to leave a healthy relationship. If he had any respect for you, he would’ve had a conversation with you and been open about his feelings.
But by taking you for granted, he only showed you that he didn’t have enough respect for you enough to act maturely with you. Instead, he chose to play with your feelings, regardless of how that made you feel.
3. He grew up in a similar environment
This guy you left because he took you for granted possibly grew up surrounded by the same treatment. Maybe his parents never had a stable, healthy relationship so he’s not used to treating his partner the right way.
He considers all of the things he saw as a child as the norm, and now he’s mirroring them in his own relationship. To be honest, maybe he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing is wrong.
If he grew up in a similar environment but his parents never parted ways from each other, he may think that this behavior is normal. He may feel that it’s common in every relationship.
The main issue with this is that it can take an enormous amount of time and effort to change these unhealthy patterns. Since your guy is convinced that he’s not doing anything wrong, it’s almost impossible to make him see the reality of the situation.
He lived in denial that your relationship dynamic was just fine and that there was nothing he should change about it. And that’s why you had a hard time reaching out to him and pointing out all of his mistakes to him.
4. He was afraid of being vulnerable in front of you
Guys’ minds work differently. Some of them believe that showing any kind of affection and expressing emotion is wrong, as it makes them look vulnerable.
So, one of the reasons that guy you left may have taken you for granted is that he was afraid of sharing some parts of himself with you.
Maybe he thought you would see him as weak or his friends would make fun of him. To avoid those feelings, he started taking you for granted, thinking that would make him more manly.
In the end, he only did himself an injustice by pushing away a girl who deeply cared about him. He deprived himself of a chance to spend the rest of his life with an amazing woman.
5. He was cheating on you
This one is tough to chew, but it’s definitely a possibility. I know it’s the last thing you want to hear right now, but if you want the honest truth, then we can’t leave this one out.
A guy who takes you for granted can end up being one who’s cheating on you. I know that these words hurt like knives aimed directly at the heart, but there’s a chance that they’re true.
If he was cheating on you, then his efforts and energy would have been directed to someone else. That’s why you weren’t given anything, despite your efforts remaining the same.
To be sure that’s exactly what happened, you should’ve noticed many of the different signs he was cheating on you. They were probably there, but maybe you chose to ignore them.
6. He realized you hate confrontation
If a guy noticed that you hate confronting people, he might have used that to his advantage. He knew it would be hard for you to tell him what’s bothering you, so he decided to capitalize on that.
He knew you’re a people pleaser, so you wouldn’t be able to say “no” to him. Self-assured as he is, he thought that you would stay by his side, no matter how he treated you.
To him, it was like the perfect one-sided relationship – one with all the benefits and zero responsibility. While you were giving him all of your love and attention, he took you for granted without any regrets.
But he never considered that things would eventually get too overwhelming for you. He never imagined that you’d finally raise your voice and walk out on him.
You left this guy who took you for granted because it was all too much to handle. At the same time, you learned your lessons. You now know that sometimes confronting people is the only option you have.
Even though you hate doing it, you should never let anyone walk over you. You have enough self-respect to stand up for yourself and put your own needs first.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What to do after you leave your boyfriend who took you for granted
“He took me for granted so I left him. But what do I do now? How do I move on?”
Breakups are hard. But it’s a whole other story when you still have feelings for the person you left.
You know that you took the right step because you couldn’t let him treat you worse than you deserve. But it’s not easy to pick yourself up and find the strength to move on.
So, if you just got out of a relationship where you’ve been taken for granted, then these are all of the things you should do. Step by step, you’ll be giving yourself enough time to heal and get over the guy who wasn’t willing to treat you like the queen you are.
1. Live the life you deserve
He took you for granted, so you left him. But now, you must promise yourself that was the last time someone put you at the very bottom of their priority list.
You deserve to live a life that makes you happy and that’s exactly what you’re about to do. You’ve been someone’s doormat for way too long and now is your time to shine.
It’s time to put yourself first and give yourself all of the love others failed to give you.
You’ve been through enough and you’ve learned your lessons the hard way. That’s why you deserve to finally enjoy your life by doing whatever makes you happy.
Breathe in the new air and let the journey of your life begin. You deserve to be happy – remind yourself of this, day after day.
2. Apply the no-contact rule
After you leave a guy who took you for granted, you want to make sure to apply the no-contact rule.
It doesn’t mean you’re trying to get him to reach out to you after a certain period of time. You should do it for the sake of your happiness and getting him out of your system completely.
Let him realize that you crossed him out of your life forever. He must know that he wasted all of his chances with a girl who wanted to be his.
I’m not saying that this will be easy. Some days, you’ll wake up and the only thing you’ll want to do is call your ex.
But remember, it’s just because you’re used to having him around. As time goes by, it will become easier to live a life without him. And at one point, you’ll realize how drastically your life has improved after breaking up with him.
​That guy who took you for granted was never meant to stay in your life. He was only there to teach you a valuable lesson: You must love yourself first so others can love you too.
3. Work on yourself
Even though he was the one who took you for granted, there are still many things about you that you must improve. And now is the perfect time to grow as a person.
Think about all of those things you let him do because you were too scared to end up without him. Learn how to confront people and teach yourself that you should never let anyone walk over you.
​No matter how much someone means to you, your own happiness and sanity should always come first. As long as you’re unsatisfied with your choices, you won’t be able to live the life you deserve.
Use the time away from him to your advantage. Work on yourself and grow as a person.
After that, you’ll see a massive change in the course of your life. And that’s when you’ll realize that you did the right thing. You did exactly what needed to be done.
4. Surround yourself with people who love you
After leaving a guy who took you for granted, you’ll need support from people who mean the most to you. You’ll need them by your side so you don’t go through this breakup all alone.
That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with those who love you – those who’d never let you down. They will be the wind at your back and reassure you that you deserve only the best treatment.
Your friends and family will make you realize that you’re not alone and that you can always count on them. Even when things don’t work out the way you wanted them to, you’ll never have to fight your battles on your own.
And that’s all that matters.
5. Don’t ever chase after him!
This guy took you for granted and that’s why you left him, remember? So under no circumstances should you ever resort to chasing after him.
Even on those days when you crave his presence in your life, you must remind yourself of all of the mistakes he made.
He had a chance to be by your side but he instead chose to treat you poorly. While he was always your priority, he put you last – and that’s not the way a relationship should ever work.
At one point, he’ll figure out that he made a mistake and that’s when he may decide to get you back. He’ll regret the fact that he treated you badly and probably want to fix it.
But even if that happens, you must be one hundred percent sure that you actually want to get back together. You must remember how he treated you while you were still a couple.
If you think that you can forgive him, then consider getting back together. But if, deep down, you know that he’ll always remain the same, no matter what, then welcoming him back into your life is a huge mistake.
You know what’s best for you and you have every right to do as you like. But please don’t let him play with your heart ever again. You don’t deserve to go through the same torture twice.
