“He is pursuing me slowly and I can’t figure out whether his feelings are real. What if he’s only stringing me along?”
Sometimes, you have a hard time figuring out where your relationship is actually headed. The pace gets different from what you’re used to, making you think that something must be wrong.
That’s when you get scared because you don’t want your heart to get broken. If your partner’s only intention is to play with your feelings then you better save yourself the pain and walk away before you get hurt.
But what if he doesn’t want to do anything like that? He’s simply taking things slow for one of many reasons so then walking away from him could also mean losing the one who could be your real love.
In this case, you have no idea what do to next.
Do you stay with this guy even though he’s taking things slow? Or do you leave him because he could never give you what you expect from a relationship?
The dilemma is there and all of your friends are on a mission to help you figure out what’s best for you. And how couldn’t they be as you keep calling them on a daily basis, rambling about this one thing, on and on.
“He is pursuing me slowly and I have no idea how to act on it. Does it mean that he’s only playing with my feelings or does he need some more time?”
If you’re asking yourself the same question then you should keep on reading. First, I’ll give you a list of tips you can use when you’re trying to figure out what’s actually going on, and then we’ll move on from there.
Tips to help you understand whether he’s pursuing you slowly or stringing you along
When a guy decides to take things slow, we usually see that as a red flag. If he doesn’t want to commit to you and make your relationship official then it’s often a warning sign that something’s wrong.
And in some cases, taking things slow actually happens because a man is afraid of commitment. Or it could be that he simply doesn’t want to be with just one woman.
However, this isn’t always the case.
Sometimes, his slow pace is his way of getting to know his partner better and making sure he’s taken all of the right steps. But how do you know whether he’s pursuing you slowly for the sake of your happiness or if he’s doing so because he’s stringing you along?
These are some pieces of advice that can help you solve the dilemma you’re currently faced with.
1. Know that a fast pace and commitment don’t have the same meaning
Just because a guy moves quickly in his relationship, it doesn’t mean that he’ll be committed to just you. In the same way, a slow pace isn’t always a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
A guy can have serious intentions with you but still decide to take things slow. This pace can help him feel the connection with the person he likes, which will then make it easier for him to be in a serious relationship.
Also, you may be dealing with a shy guy who has a hard time entering into a relationship. He wants to make sure you both get to know each other better so you can know what to expect once things are finally official.
There are many different reasons why he’s slowly pursuing you but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s playing with your feelings.
So, before you come to a final conclusion, you must realize that a fast pace isn’t an indication of commitment. You must come to terms with this statement before confidently deciding on what’s actually going on.
2. Does he avoid the, “What are we?” talk?
You can easily tell that a guy’s pursuing you slowly but isn’t playing with your feelings by the way he talks to you. When you start to ask him questions about your relationship, you’ll get all of the answers you want to know.
Does he avoid the topic like the plague or does he openly tell you what’s bothering him? Do you see him nervously fidgeting in his chair, getting upset every time you mention your relationship, or does he stay calm and make sure to explain to you what’s bothering him and why he’s taking things slow?
You can tell whether his feelings are real by the way he communicates with you. The more he fights to avoid the topic, the greater the chance that he’s stringing you along.
3. Measure your progress by days
We can all fall under the temptation to measure the progress of our relationship through important milestones. This includes the first kiss, the first time he tells you he loves you, or the first time you go on a vacation together.
I’m not saying that these moments aren’t a big deal when it comes to relationships. However, none of us feel ready for any of them at the exact same time.
At this point, it can get hard to keep track of the way your relationship is progressing. You focus your attention on the things that your partner maybe doesn’t feel ready for.
To make it easier for yourself, you must change your perspective. Instead of measuring your progress through those important moments, you should start looking at the way your relationship has been changing on a daily basis.
Does your partner make an effort to communicate with you, day in, day out? Has he gotten more attached to you since the first time you met?
Does he still takes you on dates and does it all happen without you being the main initiator? These are all signs that he may be pursuing you slowly but he’s still interested in you.
Even though he may need a bit more time, it doesn’t mean that he’s playing with your feelings and his actions are clear evidence of that.
4. Give the relationship some time so you can see where it’s headed
If you’re still at the very beginning of the relationship, that could be the reason why things aren’t moving as fast as you would want them to. It’s just that it’s still way too early to be sure what’s actually going on.
In this case, you need to give both of you some time to figure out your emotions. Whenever you think about texting your friend that same old message, “He’s pursuing me slowly and I don’t think that I can bear it anymore!!!” you should maybe try to pause the drama instead.
Give this guy a month or so and let him show you what his plans are. If he doesn’t make any progress in this time, then feel free to walk away from him.
But if you realize that he’s been taking his own steps forward then perhaps it’s not time to give up on him. Maybe his way of showing his feelings is different from yours and you must accept that if you want to be in a relationship with him.
5. Always listen to your gut
Even though I just told you that you should give him some more time, I want to remind you of the power your intuition has. The moment your gut feeling starts telling you that something’s wrong, you then have every right to walk away, without feeling guilty for doing so.
If you realize that the only reason why he’s pursuing you slowly is so he has someone so he’s not alone, then you have no reason to wait for him.
Once it becomes obvious that you’re giving him everything but getting nothing in return, your gut feeling will react. And once you feel it, you should listen to what it’s trying to tell you.
“He’s pursuing me slowly and I want to know why.” 5 possible reasons why he’s doing this
When a guy decides to take things slow, you may immediately assume that he’ll never commit to you. But trust me, there are many different reasons why he could be acting the way he is.
Even if you think it’s because he doesn’t want anything serious with you, there are also other explanations for the way he’s been acting.
1. He wants to create an emotional connection
He may be pursuing you slowly because he wants to create an emotional connection with you. And by moving too quickly through the relationship, he won’t be able to do that.
In his past, he probably had bad experiences with fast-paced relationships which brought him more harm than good. This time, he wants to do things differently.
He wants to make sure that both of you feel connected to one another before taking the next step in your relationship.
2. He wants to be sure it’s love
At the very beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to make a distinction between love and infatuation. You get the feeling that you’ve met the person you’re destined to grow old with and only later do you realize that it all happened too fast to be called love.
Maybe your guy is looking for a serious, long-term relationship and he doesn’t want to make a mistake and give his heart to someone who’ll be gone within months. That’s why he’s pursuing you slowly, as he’s trying to figure out where he stands.
The moment he sees that he doesn’t want to lose you and that what he feels for you are real emotions, he won’t hesitate to take your relationship to the next level.
3. He wants to get to know you better
This guy may be pursuing you slowly because he really wants to get to know you better before he makes the next move. And let’s be honest, that feeling of slowly learning new things about a person you like a lot is certainly something that hardly compares with other feelings.
If your guy appreciates these moments of getting to know you then he’ll want to enjoy them for as long as possible. And that’s why he’ll choose to take a slow pace, without rushing things.
4. He has other problems on his mind and your relationship isn’t his main priority right now
One of the reasons why he’s pursuing you slowly could be that he’s dealing with all sorts of things right now. His mind is filled with different issues and your relationship isn’t his main priority at the moment.
At the same time, he doesn’t want to lose you and that’s why he’s keeping you by his side until he sorts this out.
He knows that having a relationship with you right now wouldn’t make either of you happy. He wouldn’t be able to fully focus on you and you wouldn’t feel satisfied with a guy whose mind is all over the place.
That’s why he probably thinks it’s better to wait some time and see what the future holds. The moment he solves all of the issues he’s currently dealing with, he’ll be able to pay all of his attention on you.
So, it feels better for him to slow things down and wait for better timing than to ruin everything you’ve already built.
5. He wants to be sure he’s over his ex
If your guy just came out of a relationship, then it makes sense that he’s slowly pursuing you. The reason is clear – he wants to make sure he’s over his ex before he fully commits to you.
If he was in a serious relationship before you then he probably needs some time to sort his feelings out. He needs to realize where he stands since he doesn’t want to end up hurting you.
Choosing a slower pace is what will work best for him in this case. And even if you don’t like it right now, later, you’ll likely appreciate the fact that he gave himself some time to get over his ex before making things official with you.
Trust me, this benefits both of you, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.
Signs he’s interested in you even though he’s pursuing you slowly
Even when a guy’s pursuing you slowly, he can still show you signs he’s interested in you. At this point, however, you can easily miss them as you’re too preoccupied with the fact that he’s not rushing things.
That’s why I’ll try to open your eyes and let you see the truth that may have been in front of you all of this time.
Here are some of the signs a guy will show if he’s interested in you. After reading this article, you won’t be able to miss them anymore.
1. He reaches out to you every day
Yes, he’s slowly pursuing you and choosing to take a slower pace. But he’s also calling or texting you every day.
And the fact that he thinks about you daily only goes to show how much he likes you.
Trust me, if he didn’t want to have anything to do with you, he wouldn’t even bother to contact you. He would simply start ignoring you if he didn’t care about you.
But when he keeps calling to see how you’re doing and when he texts to check on your day, then it becomes obvious how much he likes you.
The fact that he’s showing effort compensates for his slow pace.
2. He wants to get to know you better
A guy who’s interested in you wants to get to know you better. He lets you do the talking and he listens to you carefully as he wants to remember every single detail about you.
He shows interest in your life and if he didn’t care about you, he would never do that.
This only goes to show that he’s pursuing you slowly for some reason but it certainly isn’t because he’s stringing you along and playing with your feelings. Otherwise, why would he be bothering to get to know you better?
3. He’s always free to help you
A man’s brain is wired differently. If he likes you then he wants to show you that in various ways.
And is there a better way to show you how amazing of a guy he is than by helping you with all of the things you need help with? If you notice that your guy has been offering his help with anything you mention, then it’s clear that he’s interested in you.
The reason why he’s pursuing you slowly isn’t that he’s playing with your emotions. If that was the case, he wouldn’t even bother helping you with anything.
But when he shows you that you can always count on him and when he offers you his help whenever you need it, it’s obvious that he likes you more than you think.
Maybe he’s not moving at the pace you’re happy with but it’s obvious that he’s showing you how he feels about you through some other ways. And if you don’t open your eyes, the chances are that you’ll miss them.
4. His friends know about you
Trust me, when his friends know a lot more about you than you expected them to then you should see that as a sign that he’s interested in you.
His friends know everything he’s been going through. They know about all of his ups and downs.
But a guy won’t ever talk to his friends about a girl who’s not meant to stay in his life. He wouldn’t mention her to them if he wasn’t serious about her.
So, when you meet his friends and you realize how much they know about you, it’ll be clear to you that he’s been talking about you. A lot.
Even though he’s slowly pursuing you, his feelings are still real and he doesn’t want to lose you. As time goes on, you should notice a difference in his behavior as he’ll finally feel ready to make things official with you.
5. You always have his attention
Whenever you hang out, it becomes evident that his eyes are focused only on you. He doesn’t care what’s going on around him and he doesn’t seem to notice when his phone beeps.
When he’s with you, there’s no other place he would rather be. The eye contact between the two of you gets intense and in some moments, you feel like you can understand him without saying a word.
Even if hours go by, you still have a lot to talk about, and in none of those moments do you see him looking bored, trying to find a way to finally go home.
You may think that he’s slowly pursuing you because he wants to keep you as an option. But when you see him talking to you for hours, you’ll realize that you came to the wrong conclusion.
6. He asks for your opinion
When he a guy doesn’t like you, he won’t ask you for your opinion. End of story.
You may think this is silly but it’s the way things work in a man’s world.
When a guy likes a woman, he asks her for her viewpoint. When he doesn’t feel anything for her, he ignores every possible word that comes out of her mouth.
Call me harsh but that’s the reality of the situation. Venting about his problems and asking you to share advice with him isn’t something a guy will do easily, especially if he isn’t interested in you.
He would rather keep it all in and try to find a solution by himself than sharing his issues with a woman he doesn’t like.
So, if you feel that he’s pursuing you slowly because he doesn’t care enough about you but he keeps showing any of the above-mentioned signs, I must say that you could be wrong.
A guy can show you he’s interested in you in many different ways. Sometimes, it’ll take him a bit more time to make things official but it doesn’t immediately have to mean that he’s stringing you along.
For one of many reasons, it may take him longer to fully commit to you but if you know what you’re looking for, you can effortlessly see through him and figure out what’s actually going on.