Think aloud
“My girlfriend wants space but still texts me. It’s confusing! What does she want?”
One day, things seem just peachy between you two, but the next she’s acting completely differently. Before you even know it, she talking to you about how she needs space.
Is this just a break or is she breaking up with you? Were you an awful boyfriend to the point where she has to stay away from you to love you?
It’s awful to think these things when you’re so madly in love with your girlfriend! She’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more, so why does she keep acting like this?
Well, to be honest, it may not be something that you’re ready to hear, but there are many reasons why she needs space yet still keeps texting you. There’s something that’s keeping her stuck on you, even though she told you there are issues she has to think through.
It’s confusing and you just want things to go back to normal.
If she won’t give you that, then you at least want it all to end so you know that you don’t need to expect anything from her anymore.
The inevitable truth is that she’s still not letting go of you. No matter what she says, her actions speak differently.
In this article, we’ll first cover the possible reasons for her behavior. Afterward, we’ll discuss the things that you may want to do in this situation.
You need to keep your heart safe and this is what we’re here for.
Why does my girlfriend want space yet still text me?
Sometimes, a woman has valid reasons that are completely connected to you and your own behavior. But other times, those reasons are outright selfish.
If your girlfriend wants space but still texts you, you need to understand that her logic behind it may be completely different from what you may think. So let’s figure it out one by one.
Of course, the best thing you can do is actually sit down with her and have this difficult conversation. But I do understand that sometimes you want to figure it out yourself so you can be prepared for every single possibility.
1. She likes your attention
There are too many girls in this world who enjoy being the center of attention. The fact that she needs attention only proves that you aren’t that important to her currently.
She probably doesn’t want to be with you, but the absence of your attention makes her feel empty. She needs your words of affirmation and your time simply to feel good about herself.
This usually happens with girls who are everything but confident. She’s so insecure that she can’t think of anything else to do but text you.
She just wants to have you close enough so that you can feed her ego. And it’s probably getting worse and worse.
This woman obviously doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, but she doesn’t know how else to behave right now. She got so used to receiving compliments from you that the absence of them creates a hole in her.
If you believe that this is the answer to “Why my girlfriend wants space but still texts me” then you also have to understand that you’re not required to be there for her. You shouldn’t feel obliged to give her what she’s asking for.
2. She’s not sure if she wants to let go of you
Girls usually use codes like “taking a break” and “needing space” when they feel like the relationship is over but they don’t know how to let go of you.
She’s not sure about her feelings. That’s why she’ll much rather keep you around and interested enough so that you won’t move on. If you decide to move on from her, she would be devastated.
Even though she was the one who suggested the break, she can’t deal with the reality of you being completely out of her life. As long as she knows that she can come back to you, she’s okay with her decision.
Yes, she does need a break, but she also wants to know that you won’t just walk out on her. She doesn’t want to let go of you, but she also doesn’t want to have the emotional responsibility of being in a relationship with you.
She’s torn between those two options.
3. She’s treating you like a backup plan
Could there be someone else in her life? Did she fall in love with someone else while you were together?
There are times when a woman will demand a break in the relationship simply to see what other options are out there.
If she was a little distant a while before she decided that she needs space, then she was probably texting someone else at the same time.
I know you’re thinking, “My girlfriend wants space, but still texts me! Why would she do that if there’s someone else in her life?”
Well, it’s actually quite simple. The most obvious reason for this is that she wants you as a backup plan. If things don’t go as planned with this other guy, she wants to have the option of coming back to you.
But if this other guy offers to make things official, she’ll likely stop texting you altogether. Until then, she won’t stop talking to you. She wants the security of knowing that you’re ready to take her back whenever the time is right.
4. She has to focus on herself for a while
Before we completely condemn her, let’s just think about the most plausible answer. She probably just needs time to focus on herself!
There’s a chance that she’s already told you this and that you know she’s been working hard on becoming a better version of herself.
There are many people in this world who are better off in a relationship. They need constant support and someone else to motivate them.
That’s actually an extremely valid feeling because many of us don’t really realize just how unmotivated we are until we have someone who genuinely supports us. That’s when we see it’s easier when we have someone by our side.
But others function better when they’re on their own. They’re not able to be there for others and they can’t work on themselves if they have to pay attention to a relationship.
Relationships can actually be very exhausting for them. This isn’t to say that you’re not a good enough motivation for her – this has actually nothing to do with you. It’s all up to her and the way she operates and processes things.
She genuinely needs time for herself, but she also doesn’t want to lose you, so she makes time to text you every once in a while. This woman probably doesn’t have any ill intentions.
5. She felt neglected and now she’s testing the waters again
She requested time for herself, so you’re asking yourself why she still texts you after saying she wants space. And it’s a perfectly valid question.
You may want to think about the things she told you before she made this move.
Did she say she needed something from the relationship that you weren’t giving her? Did she tell you that she wanted you to communicate with her more or talk to her more? And did you do anything to listen to her feelings and change your behavior?
You probably did ignore her explanations and not even bat an eye when she said she wanted to walk away. That’s why she took a little time away from you so that you could sort everything out.
And now she’s texting you again to test the waters. She wants to know if you’re changing and if you’re working on yourself.
Your girlfriend doesn’t want to leave you, she just wants to create a life together with you that will be enjoyable and fair. She didn’t know a better way to do that other than to take a few steps back and observe your actions.
This probably could’ve been done in a different way as well, but this time, she did something for herself.
6. You were arguing a lot
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my male friends tell me, “My girlfriend wants space but still texts me” when I know that they were constantly fighting. Of course, she’ll want space from you!
Arguments should be productive. They should improve your relationship with your girlfriend.
But more often than not, those same arguments are destructive. You don’t know how to communicate things thoroughly, so each time you end up having a screaming match.
When you argue this much, a woman simply wants to escape this hostile environment. She didn’t want to watch you become angrier and angrier with her. That’s why she decided she’d be better off alone while you figure yourself out.
But she still needs to talk to you. She didn’t walk away from you because she didn’t love you anymore, but because she loves you too much.
She doesn’t want to fight with you anymore, so it’s better this way until you genuinely want to bury the hatchet.
7. She wants to scare you
Can’t you see that she’s just trying to scare you? Sometimes your girlfriend will walk away from you for a while, just to frighten you a little bit. This could serve different purposes.
You probably didn’t take her seriously when she said you’d lose her. She told you multiple times that you can’t expect her to put up with your behavior, but you never took her seriously.
So now she wants to scare you. She wants to show you that you’ll lose her when she really decides that enough is enough.
The fact that she keeps texting you is just another preventive technique to know that you’re aware of the gravity of the situation.
She’ll continue to text you so that she can see what you’re thinking of this entire situation. This also gives her an insight into your life while she’s away.
I know that this seems like too much effort, but a woman who’s in love with a man who mistreats her is one who’ll try everything in the book and more to gain his respect. If this makes you change for her, then she won.
My girlfriend wants space but still texts me: What should I do?
Alright, you’ve got all the explanations you need to figure out why your girlfriend is doing this. Now you need to figure out what you should do next.
You don’t just want to sit around and wait for her to make the decision for you. You know your worth and you don’t want to let a girl play you like that.
So, is there a solution to this? Can you turn this situation around so that you don’t get your heart broken by the woman you love?
Well then, keep reading, because it’s not as hard as it may seem.
1. Leave her to it
When someone demands space, you should definitely grant it to them. You can’t just make people stay people by your side when they obviously need to spend some time by themselves.
That would only make things even worse. It definitely won’t help your relationship if you want to keep her tied to you.
Make sure to listen to her demands and don’t throw a tantrum. Give her the time and space that she’s asked for.
I know that it’s hard. I hear you saying “My girlfriend wants space but still texts me. It’s so confusing!” You believe that she wants to stay away from you, but at the same time, she’s still pulling you in.
At the end of the day, you shouldn’t be the one to force her to stay by your side when she obviously needs to take a few steps back. She needs to think about some things and she has to make the decision for herself.
It’s up to her essentially.
2. Enforce the no-contact rule
Well, she may want space, but that doesn’t mean that she should be the only one making demands. When your girlfriend still texts you after saying she wants space, then she’s not playing fair.
You should at least have the right to decide how often you’ll hear from each other. This is a rough period for you as well, you’re anxious that you’ll lose the woman you love.
You can’t deal with her still sending you mixed signals – and you shouldn’t have to.
When you enforce the no-contact rule, you have to take at least a month where you won’t talk to each other at all. You can’t reply to her texts, nor can you be the first one to text her. You need to take enough time out to heal and deal.
She obviously thought of a selfish reason to walk away from you right now. She said that she needed a break, but she keeps texting you constantly and that’s a big issue. Each time that text pops up on your phone, you feel your heart break a little more.
You need to create boundaries and make the decision to stay no-contact for a set period of time, preferably at least 30 days. This will give her enough time to think about everything and to start missing you like crazy.
3. Think about the events that led to this
Now that you’re not talking to her and you have no distractions, you have all the time in the world to think about what led to this. What happened that made her make this move?
Think about your relationship and where you were lacking as a boyfriend. Or even if she showed any signs of cheating on you!
What happened that made her do this?
You should clear your head enough to be able to rationally analyze everything. Don’t just throw all the blame onto her.
There’s probably something that you did to trigger her reaction. But most of all, you have to be honest with yourself!
My advice for you is to write things down. Make a list of things that you could’ve done better. There should also be another list of things that you think could be the reason for her behavior.
At the end of the day, you’re the one who knows her best. You’re the one who understands her and was there when she made this decision.
This also means that you’re the one who knows what happened. You were in a relationship with her and you know exactly what you’re looking for, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself right now.
4. Work on yourself
She took this time to be alone to figure things out for herself, so how about you do the same thing? Now that you’re probably seeing things clearer, it’s easier to know what you have to work on.
Sometimes, that includes just taking care of yourself. Other times, it could mean having to reach out to someone who can help you.
Is there something you always wanted to do, but you weren’t able to for whatever reason? Like going to the gym or starting a new hobby? There’s probably something you can do right now to work on yourself.
It can be something as simple as living your life. You have to be able to enjoy your life even without her there.
It’s totally up to you whether you’ll do the things you love right now or just sit around and wait for her to come back to you.
You deserve so much better than dangling mid-air. At least, be there for yourself when she’s not there for you.
5. Demand a conversation
How long are you prepared to wait for her? This is genuinely a question you have to answer for yourself.
When your girlfriend wants space yet still continues to text you, to me it just sounds like she wants to keep you around for a sense of security.
You can’t just wait around forever. Demand a conversation!
When a certain time period is over and you think you’ve had enough, text her and ask to meet up with her. She’ll probably want to text about it, but don’t let it be that simple. Tell her that you need to have a serious face-to-face conversation with her.
Before you even make the actual plans, prepare the questions that you want her to answer for you. Don’t let her gaslight you or treat you like you’re crazy for wanting answers.
You’re hurt and you’re obviously unsure about the future of your relationship. The only person who can answer all of these questions is her. And if she doesn’t want to give you the closure you need, then you need to give it to yourself.
She could tell you that she doesn’t want to talk to you ever again, or that she’s ready to come back to you. There’s not really a third option.
You shouldn’t wait any longer. Your heart is breaking with each day that she’s playing this game with you.
6. Stay loyal
No matter what happens, stay loyal!
When your girlfriend wants space but still texts you, it might be that she’s cheating on you. This doesn’t mean that you should fight fire with fire, though! Especially not if you want to win her back.
Sometimes, you’ll end up wanting someone else, just for the thrill of it. Or you’ll want to have someone else by your side because she could be in someone else’s bed as we speak.
But could you live with knowing that you stooped so low? Besides, what makes you so sure that she’s with someone else? What if she is really all by herself, working on her own issues, and you go out of your way to hurt her?
Yeah, stay loyal. No one deserves a man who runs after the first girl he sees just because his girlfriend wants some space for now.
You’re better than that. Even if she’s the one who found someone else, be the bigger person until the moment you officially call things off. Until then, don’t let her fool you into doing anything you may regret later.
