Think aloud
When your girl wants a break, the first thing that comes to your mind is that she’s leaving you forever. You freeze for a second as you have no idea how to react.
Is she trying to break up with you and doesn’t know how to tell you as much? Or does she really need some time and space for herself to clear her mind?
In your head, taking a break is one step away from a breakup. And that’s not what you had in mind!
Your goal is to be in a long-term relationship with this girl who’s stolen your heart. And up until now, you thought that she wanted the same thing as you.
So, when your girlfriend wants to take a break, naturally, you get worried.
Is she implying that your relationship is falling apart and that she doesn’t want to be with you anymore? And why does she feel the need to be away from you in the first place?
What do you do now?
These are the questions I’ll try to answer in this article.
Why does your girl want a break?
You would never believe how many times I had friends with the same issue as you do.
My best friend recently called me in the middle of the day, nervously muttering over the phone, saying these words.
“My girlfriend wants to take a break and I think that she’s about to dump me. Am I right? Please tell me I’m not!”
So, before we start solving your dilemma, I want you to know that you’re not the only guy who feels this way.
A lot of times, relationships hit a point where couples simply need to move away from each other. They need some time to clear their mind and figure out their next step.
And your girlfriend might be going through the same phase.
But you probably want to know the underlying meaning of her move. What made her seek a break in the first place?
One of the following reasons is what caused this need to take a step back.
1. She’s having second thoughts
Maybe you feel that the two of you are in a healthy relationship, happy with each other’s choices.
But just because you feel a certain way, it doesn’t mean that your significant other is experiencing the same emotions.
Maybe your girl wants a break because she’s started having second thoughts about your relationship. She doubts that the two of you could make things work and she needs space to think about everything objectively.
It could be that she’s not sure if she likes you anymore. Or she needs to take a step back and see if she’ll miss you once you’re gone.
Maybe there are a lot of things going through her mind right now and she just needs to be sure that she’s made the right call. And in order to find that out, she needs to back up for a moment and assess the situation.
2. She has her eye on someone else
One of the possible reasons your girl wants a break is because she has her eye on another.
Perhaps she’s met some guy and started to develop feelings for him. You know what they say: The grass is greener on the other side.
Right now, she could be thinking that she’s missing out on something and that she could have a far better time with this other man.
But breaking up with you right away sounds like a wrong step as she’s not really sure of her feelings.
What if she leaves you and then realizes that she doesn’t want to have anything with this other guy? What if she breaks up with you and realizes afterward that she still loves you?
She could lose you for a stupid idea that she might like someone else and that’s the last thing she wants. So, she needs time to figure out her feelings and plan her next step.
If she rushes in making a decision, she could make a mistake she’d regret for the rest of her life. That’s why taking some time sounds like a better plan.
3. She wants to end things but doesn’t know how to say it
Sometimes, a girl wants a break only because she doesn’t know how to say that she wants to end things with you.
Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and thinks that taking it step by step will ease the pain.
Right now, she’s asking for a break. But she already knows that this break will turn into an actual breakup.
Soon, she’ll refer to you as her ex-boyfriend but she first needs to know that she did everything she could before breaking up with you.
In that case, taking a break could be a pill for her conscience. Something that will ease her mind as she’ll be able to say that she did everything there was to save your relationship.
I know that you don’t want her to be your ex-girlfriend as you had all these amazing plans for your future. But I warn you that this is also one of the possibilities.
Taking a break could very well be one major step closer to a breakup.
4. You don’t treat her well
We all stand for ourselves and fail to see our parts of the blame. But one of the reasons why your girl wants a break could be your bad treatment.
Maybe you never noticed the way you emotionally neglect her. Or you would never say for yourself that you’re selfish and that you ignore your needs.
But if she felt that, then she could want to take a step back and rethinking the relationship all over again.
If she still loves you, then she doesn’t want to end things right away. She doesn’t want to lose you as she probably believes that you could work on your issues.
But at the same time, she can’t stand being the one who suffers. She can’t take your bad treatment as it’s already had too much of an effect on her.
This is your chance to analyze your behavior and admit your mistakes. If you know that you’ve been giving her less than she deserves, then you better change and save your relationship.
And if you feel that you don’t love her anymore, then it’s better for both of you to go your separate ways.
5. You’re having issues in the relationship
Once your relationship hits a bumpy road, a woman will do whatever she can to fix things. But when she sees that she’s making her best efforts while you’re not lifting a finger, she’ll decide to take a step back.
She may not break up with you right away, but instead give the both of you some time and space to clear your minds.
Maybe you haven’t been giving her any attention while you had all of her time. You kept ignoring her while she desperately wanted you to notice her.
Or maybe you stopped showing her your love. Instead of hugs and kisses, she received radio silence.
Every time she’d open up to you about it, you’d act like you have no idea what she’s talking about. So, she’s had enough and she now desperately needs some time away from you.
She’ll take a step back, maybe even apply the no-contact rule, and see if you’ll do anything about it.
If this sounds a lot like your situation and if you know that you’ve been having arguments over something, then this is your time to show her how much she means to you.
Don’t think that she’ll come back to you just like that. Instead, you need to show her that you need her in your life. You need to show her that you’re willing to take a step in the right direction.
6. She feels ignored
How many times did she try talking with you about something? How many times did she try to share her feelings with you while you did nothing about it?
Now, she’s reached the point where she feels ignored by you – her boyfriend, the man of her dreams.
And as a result, your girl wants a break. She wants to think things through in order to be sure that she’s doing the right thing.
If you don’t want to pay attention to her, then why should she stay with you? If she’ll have to repeat herself multiple times before you finally listen to what she has to say, then she doesn’t want to be with you.
A romantic relationship should be a source of happiness, safety, and comfort. And if you can’t give you any of these things, then she doesn’t have anything to look forward to.
She now wants to take a break so she can figure out her next move. Does she want to give you another chance or will this break turn into a breakup?
Your behavior can affect her decisions more than you think.
So, if you want to keep her in your life, you better show her that you’re willing to change for the better. Show her that you made a mistake and you’re determined to fix it.
7. You don’t prioritize her
Maybe your girl wants a break because she’s been feeling that she isn’t your priority anymore.
Every other person and thing in your life is much higher on your list of priorities. Her name is written at the very end of it.
She probably can’t take it anymore and she needs some time to think about everything. All those little things you do keep hurting her, and she’s finally reached the point where she feels like enough is enough.
You’ve continued to choose your friends, family, and hobbies over her. But now is the time to finally choose her. It’s time to show her that she’s your number one.
If you don’t, chances are that this break will turn into something more permanent.
8. Her feelings are disregarded
If you’ve been guilty of disregarding her feelings, then it could be the reason why your girl wants a break. She’s had enough of suffering in silence and she needs some time away from it all.
Many times, people don’t really think before they react. So, instead of listening to the way she’s feeling, you kept telling her that she’s wrong.
Maybe you called her oversensitive or told her that it’s all in her head. As a result, she believes that it’s time to distance herself from you for a while.
Maybe her self-esteem has been damaged with your comments and she needs some time and space for herself. She needs to be sure that her love life won’t turn into a sad story where she’ll be the main victim.
That’s why she’s asked to take a break from the relationship.
9. She doesn’t like you anymore
This one hurts like hell but it’s one of the possible reasons why your girl wants a break.
Maybe her feelings have changed and she’s no longer sure if you’re headed in the same direction. Also, if you’re in a long-distance relationship, it could be that she’s started losing her feelings for you.
Since she doesn’t really know how to tell you that, she thinks that taking a break will provide her a better solution. Maybe she’ll gain the courage to come clean with you or she’ll realize that she still loves you.
No matter what, she feels that taking a break is the only right move to make right now. And that’s why she’s expressed her wish for it.
10. You spend too much time together
Believe it or not, a girl can ask for a break if she feels that the two of you are overcrowding each other.
She doesn’t feel that your relationship is headed in the right direction. You’ve put your lives aside and focused all of your time and energy on each other.
In the beginning, it was amazing. You were still getting to know each other and that time spent together allowed you to strengthen the bond between you.
But as your relationship moves on, it feels as if you’re focusing too much on each other and forgetting about your own personal needs. To be honest, you probably can’t even remember the last time you had a drink with your pals.
You may not have been thinking about it, but it’s certainly been the only thought your girlfriend’s had for a while. That’s why she’s asked you to take a break as she feels that it could be beneficial for your relationship.
What to do if your girl wants a break?
When your girl wants a break, you may be uncertain of your next move. Do you let her have some time on her own or do you break up with her right away because you already believe that’s the route you’re headed?
Here are some tips you should keep in mind.
1. Know that taking a break isn’t the same as breaking up
This relationship advice could save you a lot of overthinking and stress that comes naturally once you find yourself in a situation like this.
TAKING A BREAK ISN’T THE SAME AS BREAKING UP. Don’t forget that.
At this point, you might freak out and start thinking that your relationship is doomed to fall apart. She’ll leave you and taking a break is an attempt at postponing the inevitable.
But with this mindset, you won’t get far.
You’ll scare yourself and it will be hard to think straight after that. Then, instead of actually giving her time and space, you’ll probably keep bombarding her with text messages and calls.
That will push her away even further and you’ll then succeed in losing her forever.
But if you accept the fact that taking a break isn’t the same as breaking up, you’ll save yourself the unnecessary drama.
Let time work its magic and if she comes back to you, then you’re meant to be together. But if she decides to break up with you, you’ll at least know where you’re standing.
2. Accept her request
If your girl wants a break, there’s not much you can do about it other than to accept it.
If you put pressure upon her and try to convince her that the two of you don’t need a break and that you’re fine the way you are, you’ll leave the impression that you don’t care about her feelings. As a result, that will push her even further away from you.
So, the best thing to do right now is to accept her wish and honor it.
That way, you’ll show her that you care about her and that you want your relationship to work. And she’ll appreciate that a lot!
3. Use the alone time to focus on yourself
Once you entered the relationship, you put your own life on hold. And now is the perfect time to change that.
Maybe all this time, you sought validation from your girlfriend. She was the one to approve your actions and you gave up on many things because of her.
But since the two of you are on a break, you now have enough time to focus on yourself.
Hang out with your friends, go hiking, and start hitting the gym regularly. Do all of the things you wanted to do but always put aside because of her.
You have every right to live your life in a way that makes you happy. And working on yourself at this moment is probably the best thing you can choose to do.
It will help you take your mind off thinking about your girlfriend all the time. Plus, it will make you grow as a person.
And that’s exactly what you need right now!
4. Keep the appropriate level of communication
Once you’re on a break, it can be hard to know what type of communication is appropriate.
You don’t want to be too pushy with texting her, but you also don’t want to end up not talking to her at all. Can you use social media to communicate and should you even think about hanging out together?
It’s important to find the right balance.
You should reach out to your girlfriend from time to time and see how she’s doing. But you shouldn’t be calling her ten times a day as that will leave an impression that you don’t really care about her feelings.
She should also know that you’re there for her if she needs you. Tell her that she’s free to text you whenever she wants without you being too pushy and bombarding her with calls and messages.
Let her see that you respect her wish to take a break and that you won’t try to convince her that’s the wrong move.
5. Establish some boundaries
One of the important things when taking a break is to be aware of the boundaries. Both of you should come up with a plan that works for the two of you and stick to it.
Are you allowed to see other people? Will you apply the no-contact rule or keep in touch? How much time do you want this phase to last?
Those are all questions you and your girlfriend should go through. You need to be clear about the boundaries and you need to make sure you don’t cross them.
If you agreed that you won’t be seeing other people during this period and she still went out with another guy, then you could say that she cheated on you. Or vice versa.
So, the important thing is that you need to lay down some ground rules that you’ll then be able to follow. Then just relax and make sure that you’re not thinking too much about the whole situation.
If your girl wants a break, there’s nothing you can do to stop that. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship has reached its end.
Give her some time and space and if she decides to meet up with you after she thinks through everything in detail, you’ll be more than happy to welcome her in your arms.
Also, if your relationship ends, there’s nothing to feel sorry for. When one door closes, other ones start opening in front of you.
