Think aloud
Blocking someone you love is probably one of the hardest thing you will ever do in your life.
We like to believe that social media isn’t that big of a deal nowadays but it has consumed our lives. You want to think that you live outside of society’s standards and that you can overcome the impact Instagram and the other apps have on you.
However, it’s not that easy, as everyone posts everything about their lives on their social media accounts. We communicate through them and we share some very personal information on them.
When you decide to block someone, what you’re actually doing is throwing them out of your life. You’re denying them access to information about you and so they have no way to contact you.
Blocking someone can also include blocking their number so that you are completely free of them, which is probably easier than taking legal action against them.
People don’t understand the complexity of the act of blocking someone. It’s not that easy to ban someone from your life.
When you block them on social media, it would be weird to greet them on the street, so you can’t do that either. It’s not just stopping someone from seeing your latest photos, as it also includes cutting ties with them completely.
So when is blocking someone you love okay to do? Even if you love them dearly, is it really necessary?
When blocking someone you love is okay
There are instances when you don’t hate someone but you still have to block them. You don’t want to do it but you simply know that it’ll be the best decision for you.
You want to believe that if you stayed around them for a while longer, they’d change and learn how to treat you right. However, you know you could be waiting forever.
There’s no reason for you to hang around while they figure themselves out. You can block someone even if you still love them.
The decision you’ll make will be quite a hard one and you’ll feel like you’re completely abandoning that person. But that’s probably what they deserve at that moment in time.
If you still need affirmation or validation for your actions, there are occasions when blocking someone you love is even encouraged. So here’s a list of times when doing so is more than understandable.
1. To stop further abuse
Blocking someone you love can be a tough decision to make but when that person is abusing you in real life and on social media, this is the best thing you can do.
You can be abused in different ways and by people you may even be related to. For example, someone in your family could send you threatening messages that keep you depressed or anxious all the time.
Other forms of harassment are also very common. For example, that person could be sending you unsolicited photos or inappropriate text messages that are a specific kind of abuse.
It doesn’t matter who the person is who’s abusing you or how much you may love them. Abuse is still abuse and it’ll negatively impact your brain and your mental health.
My story is that a family member continued to harass me for months because he didn’t like the photos I posted. I was also very opinionated about current world issues and he didn’t really understand my viewpoints.
He thought that I was in the wrong for wanting to talk about these things, which led to him reporting all of my posts and my entire account on Instagram.
He would send me long paragraphs about how I shouldn’t be alive and that I was a disgrace to the entire family.
This was emotional and mental abuse that I went through. Blocking someone you love is sometimes the only option.
A friend of mine had to block her ex-boyfriend because he wouldn’t stop sending her unwelcome photos and pestering her to the point where she was afraid to even open the text messages from him.
So if you’re looking to block a loved one who’s straight-up abusing you, then do that right away. You have the full right to.
2. To prevent bullying
Bullying is also a form of abuse but it’s more about insulting you than anything else. This can even happen to us by people whom we thought to be the most important ones in our lives.
Your friends, family, or even your current boyfriend could cyberbully you into blocking them.
Blocking someone you love to prevent them from tormenting you is a completely valid reason and I will definitely stand behind you on this one.
You shouldn’t have to endure bullying just because you love someone. You can love them and care about them from afar without actually engaging in any type of communication with them.
People will tell you that blocking family members is completely unacceptable but sometimes it’s inevitable. If they didn’t want to be blocked, they shouldn’t have said all those absolutely nasty things.
What you may be experiencing is some very passive-aggressive comments under your photos.
For example, if you post one where a little more of your skin is showing and someone comments about how you’re not skinny enough to wear that, it’s not okay.
We try to rationalize their behavior, saying that they’re probably right or that they only want the best for us but it’s not okay.
What you need to understand is that the very moment a comment makes you feel awful, it’s probably because it’s passive-aggressive or because it was intended to gaslight you and make you feel bad about yourself.
You are not obligated to deal with that.
3. To give yourself space
Blocking someone you love doesn’t have to have a lot of meaning behind it. Sometimes, you’ll do it simply because it guarantees you a little bit more space for yourself.
When you block someone, you’re not doing that because you hate them. Sometimes it’s because you love yourself more and you need to take care of yourself.
Creating that space for yourself gives you time to think about your relationship with that person.
It’s completely fine for you to block them if you’ve had an argument and you need to think things through.
You need to clear your head for some time and stop the anger from boiling over inside you and then you can unblock them whenever you please.
It’s even a possibility for you to give that person a warning. Tell them that you won’t talk to them for a while and that you need some space right now.
If you tell them your intentions, there’s a smaller chance that they’ll hold a grudge against you. They may want the same thing after an argument, so please don’t overthink this decision.
4. To create healthy boundaries for yourself
There will come a time in your life when you’ll understand that you don’t have any boundaries and then you’ll learn how to start creating healthy ones.
Creating these boundaries for yourself is the best move you can make in the process of growing up.
It’s a process where you decide what things you do and don’t want in your life. You also create them based on the things that make you feel comfortable and understood.
For example, blocking all of your exes is a completely normal and understandable boundary and blocking someone you love who hurts you is a very valid boundary.
They make you feel uncomfortable, they make you feel bad about yourself, and they never leave you alone.
Others may think that blocking someone is nothing more than childish and that it makes no sense in the long run.
They will criticize you for doing this and they’ll make you feel bad but you’ll know that you’re doing something for yourself.
People can say whatever they want. They’re only jealous that they’re not able to do the same thing with people who make them feel unwanted or uncomfortable or with people who don’t add any value to their life.
Also, when you’re creating healthy boundaries, it doesn’t mean that you’ll have to ignore them in real life as well. You can just set this boundary online and then talk to them in real life if that makes you feel safer.
5. You were broken up with and you want to gain control
You know how many times it happens that someone breaks up with you even though you’re still madly in love with them.
Blocking someone you love is the worst thing when you know that they don’t love you and probably wouldn’t even care.
However, it’s important to block your ex-boyfriend when he was the one to break up with you, as this way, you’re gaining your control back. It’s not just him who gets to have the last laugh but you’ll also have a say in what happens afterward.
I can definitely tell you first-hand that it’s a hard thing to do. I wanted to have an insight into my ex’s life and the things that he was doing.
We spent years loving each other and caring for each other, so how could I block someone I loved that much? But it had to be done.
If I hadn’t, it would’ve eaten me up and I would have felt like I gave him permission to be involved in my life. Believe me when I tell you he doesn’t deserve that.
You can love your ex all you want but he made the decision to break up with you even though you thought that everything was going to be all right. He shouldn’t expect anything less than to get blocked right away.
This is one of the most obvious situations when blocking someone you love is completely acceptable and you should enforce your privilege. Block him and be done with it.
Your heart will ache for days afterward but you’ll know that you’ve done the best thing you could have done for yourself.
6. You don’t want to filter your posts anymore
How often has it happened to you that you shared something that was very important to you and your family members or even your friends disagreed with you? I can guarantee that there’s been at least one instance of this.
Our parents and older family members were born in a completely different era and they often believe that traditional beliefs are the only correct ones. Both you and I know that it’s not true, though.
You want to be able to show off how beautiful you are and/or share news that will educate other people.
Not everyone will see your social media as a creative outlet for you, however, so you’ll end up filtering what you can and can’t post in order to please everyone.
It’s extremely bad when you can’t use your platforms for the things you want. Blocking someone even though you love them is the only solution if you really don’t want to censor yourself any further.
You’ve had to rethink posting so many pictures and you decided not to simply because a friend or family member may not like them. Well, you’re done doing that.
You deserve so much better than that. You don’t exist to make other people feel comfortable.
7. You’re taking precautions to stop yourself from doing something stupid
Let’s say that you went through a break-up recently or that you stopped talking to a friend. Either way, you decided to not block them right away and to stay friends on social media.
Why is that an issue? Well, do you believe that you’ll be strong enough to resist texting them when you’ve had one too many drinks?
Do you truly believe that you won’t text or DM your ex-boyfriend the very moment you have a little bit more liquor in your system?
To be completely honest with you, I don’t believe that your willpower is that strong and that you’ll be able to resist messaging him.
You’ll text your ex just to see whether he still misses you, you’ll ask him whether he’s interested in seeing you that night, and so on. Do you really want to embarrass yourself like that?
Or you could text that friend of yours just to tell them that you’re sorry (even though you know that you’re right) and you’ll only make a fool of yourself. Who wants to look like a weakling in front of someone who hurt them?
Blocking someone you love is actually a great way to prevent yourself from doing stupid things like this.
8. You want to stop stalking them
Blocking someone you love doesn’t mean that they’ve done something bad to you. It can also happen when you’re overly obsessed with them to the point where you go out of your way to stalk them.
I know that we can’t stop our obsessive behavior overnight and that it takes much more effort than we may initially believe. People think that it’s so easy to stop stalking someone but it can quite easily become a habit.
For example, my sister was so obsessed with her ex-boyfriend that she couldn’t last a couple of hours without going on his social media accounts and checking what he was doing. When it gets to this point, it’s not even funny.
She would stop speaking mid-sentence to just check what he’d been up to. That’s all fun and games until the very moment you realize that it’s become such an impulse that you can’t function properly.
This is probably an extreme case but even if you have the urge to stalk your ex for a moment, you need to block him.
You need to block him because it’ll get toxic over time. You’ll see that he’s doing great after the break-up and you’ll feel awful about yourself.
What will happen when you see that he’s moved on with someone? Will you break down sobbing because you didn’t expect that to happen so soon?
All of these things are causing you so much pain but it could be easily taken care of in just a few clicks and swipes of your fingers on your phone.
9. You deserve to stay away from negativity
You know too many negative people in your life, even online. Am I right?
They’re always looking for advice, they overshare their experiences, and you feel like their personal therapist (together with all the other people on the app).
I understand when someone is depressed or has been diagnosed with mental health issues but they should go see a licensed therapist instead of telling everyone on the Internet about their problems.
They may be gossiping or even share information about things or people that you know is not true. But this person doesn’t even bother to hide their displeasure with anything and everything.
Nothing seems to make them happy and it really concerns you. Usually, you’re a very positive person but they completely confuse or annoy you.
Blocking someone even though you love them can seem like an awful thing to do. However, even though they seem to be crying out for help through their social media, it could also be nothing more than them just seeking attention.
You have the right to remove yourself from that conversation altogether. You’re not obligated to heal everyone around you.
You can’t just sit around and pretend to be their rehabilitation center. You’re usually the first one to reach out to that person, be it your family member or a friend, and it’s exhausting.
You deserve to have your own peace of mind. You deserve to stay away from their constant negativity.
Because of that, please do yourself a favor and block them. Remove them from your life completely and create space for happier people.
You’re constantly obsessed with their depressive episodes without realizing that you’re falling down that spiral yourself. You shouldn’t have to deal with that at all!
This is what you should do after blocking someone you love
Blocking someone you love isn’t easy. You’ll want to check up on them, to see whether everything’s okay, and you’ll even want to check and see whether they’ve realized that you’ve blocked them.
Right now, you should really be thinking about the next move you’ll make. So when you’re panicking and thinking too much about this, just remember these tips.
This is what you have to do after you block that person:
1. Remind yourself why you did it
When you get the urge to check up on them, unblock them, or straight-up text them, just remember why you blocked them in the first place. You’d never block someone for no reason at all.
You thought this through, you made sure to look out for yourself. You didn’t do anything bad and you shouldn’t even care what the other person is doing at this point.
The only important thing right now is that you’ve done something huge for yourself. You’ve done this to save your own energy, so remind yourself of that on tough days.
2. Don’t unblock them unless you feel like you truly need to
You’ll feel the urge to unblock them one too many times but please remember that you should only unblock them if you truly think that it’s the right time.
For example, if you blocked this person in order to create some space between you until you buried the hatchet, then unblock them. You’re probably ready to have a mature conversation about everything and you know that it’ll go well.
However, if it’s your ex or someone who abused you in the past, then there’s no reason whatsoever for you to unblock them.
3. Focus on yourself
This is the perfect time for you to focus on yourself. Take all the time you need to heal from all the toxicity this person has brought into your life.
Blocking someone you love is a very draining thing to do. You overthink everything, you still love them, and you think that you’re hurting their feelings as well.
However, you’re probably just hurting yourself by thinking about this all the time. Stop doing that and focus on yourself.
Love yourself right now and don’t fall into this spiral again. You deserve so much better than that.
