We’ve all been hurt and we all know how it feels to go through pain. To wake up feeling drained and to go to bed feeling hopeless.
When you give yourself fully to the person who then decides to break you into pieces, you end up having scars that run deep into your heart.
It gets hard to even think about falling in love again.
Your previous experience was too painful and you are not sure if you can go through the same once more.
Love doesn’t sound sweet anymore but it rather evokes dark feelings of pain and bitterness. You simply can’t connect anything good with it.
Instead, it reminds you of sleepless nights, nightmares, and a terrible feeling of sadness that takes over your whole body.
You may ask yourself how does it feel when a guy gets hurt?
Does he go through the same spectrum of emotions or do guys get over breakups more easily?
And what if you fall for someone who has been hurt? How do you get closer to him, will he be able to trust you and how long will it take him to let you in?
A number of questions for which you don’t have any answers.
Truth be told, we all suffer the same way. No matter whether you are a woman or a man, it hurts the same.
If a guy who’s been hurt gives you a chance, even though the last girl tore his heart to pieces, try not to do the same.
It takes courage to let someone in once you’ve been hurt.
You need to know that it could be hard for him.
It could take more time and effort than what you think but what you will get is worth the wait.
When he finally lets you in, you will be amazed by the affection, love, and care he will give you.
Those who have been hurt love the most, and you will feel it deeply in your bones.
Before you achieve that, you need to be aware that you will need to give him some time and space.
(Maybe even more than you think.)
He has been hurt and he wants to make sure that he won’t go through the same thing again. To do that, he will take things slower.
That has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you; it just means that he’s being cautious.
In the beginning, you won’t meet his friends and he won’t invite you to special events.
Everything will be private at first, as he’s still not sure how you feel about him.
He doesn’t want you to become a part of his life if you’ll be gone by sunrise. He needs some time and space to see what will happen.
He’s been hurt too many times to not think about his feelings and let you play with his emotions.
You should understand that he needs to protect himself, as others have failed him before.
See also: 12 Signs You Are Being Way Too Clingy
Don’t push him into something he’s not ready for. That can only make him take even longer to give himself to you.
Let him take his time because you will be happy with the final results. Trust me, once he lets you in, everything will be worth it.
This whole process could be hard for you, so if you don’t really like him that much and only want to try to see what happens, I suggest you stop.
Dating a guy who’s been hurt requires time and effort and if you are not willing to give him that, then you shouldn’t raise his hopes.
It will be exhausting as you don’t know what can hurt him because of his previous bad experiences.
You will have to be cautious with your words, as at first, he will doubt everything you say.
He will see the worst in everything and you will always have to reassure him that you will be there for him and that you have no intention of going away.
You have to understand that his trust will be shaken and that you will have to prove to him that he can have confidence in you.
He was hurt by the one he trusted the most. It’s understandable why he would have issues now.
As long as you are on the same page and you understand where he’s coming from, you can make it work.
He also might be a bit reserved at first.
This guy is willing to give you a chance so he will try to open up but he’s still not sure how to do that.
He won’t shower you with love at first because he’s afraid that you will use it against him.
Maybe you’ll get too comfortable, you will see that he likes you and then you will take him for granted.
He might even struggle with showing you affection as it evokes wounds from the past. But don’t worry, it won’t always be like this.
Once he lets you in, you will see all the love he’s been hiding.
Don’t play games with him.
He’s giving you one chance and one chance only. If you ruin it, there is no going back.
A guy who’s been hurt before won’t shower you with more chances.
Don’t lie, be honest, and be real about your intentions.
If you think that playing hard to get or being cold until he focuses on you will work with someone who’s been hurt, you are fooling yourself.
He wants someone who will be honest about her feelings; someone who doesn’t want to play with his heart.
Trust me, he won’t chase you but he also won’t let you chase him. He will only need you to be there for him, no matter how hard it gets.
Don’t ask him what happened before you.
It can only hurt him to make him think about his bad experiences.
If he’s not ready to come to you on his own and tells you his story of being hurt, then there is no need to constantly push him to tell you.
It takes guts to tell someone, “This is what the person before you did to me.” He would be sharing his story with you, the one that hurts the most.
Plus, he is giving someone a chance to see his pain and for it to happen again.
Remember how you don’t like to talk about something that hurt you. It makes you vulnerable and small, like you have no control.
Now understand that he feels the same way.
He probably still doesn’t feel confident in his skin.
He trusted someone and that person showed him he shouldn’t. It makes him feel like he did something wrong.
You know when you give your whole self to someone and they decide to leave – it makes you feel that you aren’t enough.
Now understand that he feels the same way.
“I gave you my whole heart and you decided to break it and leave me. What did I do wrong?” That’s what he’s been asking himself.
Instead of pushing him, give him time to realize his worth again.
Show him that he matters and that you truly love the person who’s standing in front of you.
Yes, he’s been hurt but it only means that he has loved to the fullest. He gave himself fully into the experience and he shouldn’t regret it.
Tell him that it means that his feelings are genuine and that he is one of the rare ones who doesn’t play, but instead fully gives himself when he cares.
Show him that his emotions are valued and that you understand how hard it is for him to try to give his heart to someone again.
He is willingly choosing to possibly get hurt again but deep down, he still believes in love.
Promise him that you will be there for him and that you will always try to show him how much you care.
But do all of this only if you are willing to stay.
He doesn’t need someone who will come and go as she likes. That would break him. Instead, he needs someone who will come and stay and help him heal.
He needs someone who will show him the beauty of love, the sensation of intense emotions, and the security of getting home and feeling safe in her hug.
In return, he will give you his heart. He will collect together the pieces of it, stick them back together, and hand his heart to you.
He will trust you and place you as number one in his life.
You just need to be patient.
Trust me, it will pay off…
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