To my ex’s new girlfriend: Run.
I’m so sorry for saying this, but I took the liberty to reach out to you and tell you what I wish someone had told me before. I wanted someone to tell me that he’d break me as hard as he did. However, there was no one to stop me from falling head over heels for that man.
You probably feel the same way. You feel like you won at the game of love – like you found the right man who loves you unconditionally and you can feel safe with. But can you truly say that about someone ready to do all the things he did to me?
Let me guess.
He kisses your forehead when you first meet up. That man hugs you and holds your hand like he wants the world to know that you’re his everything. He wants you to believe that you’re the only girl he’s ever acted like that with.
He uses his sweet words and seductive voice to make you believe that you’re everything he’s been looking for and more. When you see the way he smiles at you, you feel like you could physically melt.
So you choose to ignore the little detail of him hiding his phone from you. You pin it down to his need for privacy. You brush it off because between typing he always gives you a peck on the cheek.
A moment in his gentle embrace makes you forget about his passive-aggressive comments about your appearance. It makes you believe that it just slipped past his lips and he didn’t truly mean it.
Or that time you clearly caught him checking another girl out? Actually, how many times has that happened already? Were you able to talk to him about it or did he dismiss it and make you believe that you’re the crazy one?
He gaslights you into believing that you’re just being delusional. He convinces you that you’re overthinking and then pretends like everything’s fine until you start to believe it yourself.
But don’t lie to me.
I know that the voice inside your head is screaming at you to check his phone, to question him more, but your heart has other plans.
It’s not easy to battle yourself like that.
You think that you’re special, that you can change him, but men like him are never going to be anything more than a menace to society. Okay, that sounds like a lot, but it’s true. Look at how good he is at deception!
When you fall asleep, he gets bored and that’s when he reaches out to the first girl he knows will lead him to her bed. If he’s out with his friends, there’s no one stopping him from pursuing that cute cure in that cocktail dress, who’s swinging her hips to the music. He’s going after her, I can promise you that much.
You believe that you’re special to him because he tells you that you are. He calls you perfect as if it’s your name, and you believe him.
Of course you would! The guy has a smile that could charm anyone into doing anything for him. Even believing him.
When you start to question, he makes you feel guilty for not trusting him. He tells you that he’s sacrificed so much for you, but you let him down. Your entire relationship seems to be hanging by a thread just because you asked him a few questions. You don’t want to end up like me, so you try to save your poor heart.
But it’ll only get worse.
One day you’ll wake up and realize that you ignored all the obvious signs because of small moments of appreciation that you got from him. You’ll understand what I’m telling you right now because you’ll remember how he always talked about me as if I was the broken one.
Yes, I’m broken. Because of him. Not because I’m jealous or because I have trust issues.
I simply didn’t trust him and I shouldn’t have from the first day that he stepped into my life. I had no reason to look at him and see a person who’d keep my heart safe. He broke me into pieces and now he’s making you, his new girlfriend, feel as if you were special.
You’re not special. None of us are.
We’re nothing more than a way for him to get much-needed attention. He craves the feeling of dominance he exerts whenever he breaks a heart. He thrives on knowing that we’re all upset for not being able to keep him around long enough.
Please, don’t turn into a woman like that. Run as fast as you can because he’s not a person you should waste your time on.
To be honest, I don’t owe you anything. I didn’t have to write you this letter or tell you all of these things. But I know how he can be. I know that he’s doing everything to conceal his true intentions.
But open your eyes.
You’re a smart girl. You’re not someone who should be messed around with or manipulated. So don’t give him the satisfaction of doing that to you.
A man who cheated and manipulated his exes can’t become a completely new person overnight. He didn’t change and you’re not special to him.
Just trust me on this one, please. If you believe me enough to see things for what they actually are, then you’ll save yourself from a lot of pain and misery.
I sincerely hope you listen to me.
I hope you make it out without too much damage.
There’s no reason for you to stay and pretend like you don’t deserve someone better than him. Because you do. You deserve to experience happiness beyond anything that he’ll ever be able to give you.
Please. Pack your things.
You’ll be much better off without him.