A Letter To My Boyfriend Who Is Ignoring Me: You’re Losing Me

A letter to someone who hurt you
By Ashley Knight
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It’s no easy thing to try to write a letter to my boyfriend who is ignoring me. I’ve had to write many passages before eventually deciding what I would send him, as it’s quite a tough thing to put my feelings into words.

What do you even say to someone who obviously doesn’t want to talk to you? Even though this person swears to love you, they still find a way to break your heart on a daily basis without any empathy towards you. Can you imagine being with someone like that every single day and not knowing which version of them you’ll encounter?

That’s exactly why I’m writing this article. To give you and all the women out there who need the extra support right now an idea of what you might want to tell your boyfriend.

When your emotions are so all over the place, you can’t really express yourself in a way that is rational enough yet at the same time conveys the amount of hurt you’re experiencing.

There are many different instances in which your boyfriend can ignore you. You may have done something wrong and so he doesn’t want to listen to your apologies. Or perhaps he’s using ghosting as a form of emotional abuse. Or maybe it’s simply a case of you being so done dealing with his moods, you have no other choice but to break things off with him.

Let’s go through these letters together, so you’ll be able to sleep better at night.

A letter to my boyfriend who I love but is ignoring me

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My love,

These past few days have been more painful than anything I’ve experienced before. I know that it’s all my fault, but being without you is no fun at all. I’d love to tell you how sorry I actually am, but you won’t give me a chance to do that.

I made a mistake and I’m suffering the consequences. And I’m not sure if you’re even ready to forgive me for this. You could be thinking that you’re done with me and you don’t ever want to talk to me again. How am I supposed to know which one it is, though?

I’m just sitting here and waiting for you to make a decision.

But mostly, I’m waiting for you to decide to listen to what I have to tell you. I have so much that I need to say if you’d just listen to me. I don’t know if you’ll ever let me tell you my side of the story, though.

That’s why I’m writing a letter to my boyfriend who is ignoring me, instead of talking to him in person. How desperate can I be? I just really want you to know that I never meant for things to go down like this.

Maybe this is a very nasty move from my side, but I would love to talk about the beginning of our relationship. We knew that we were so different from the get-go. We knew that we would have trouble communicating with each other, as well as issues understanding each other’s standpoint.

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You and I never knew that loving someone who’s so different would bring so many inconveniences into our lives, but we were ready for it at the time. We looked at each other, took each other’s hands, and went down that path together. Because we were prepared to work hard for our love and fight for each other to stay.

So after all those missed calls on your phone and all those text messages, this is my last move to fight for your love. If you don’t want me then at least be man enough to tell me that.

You know how sorry I am for what I did to you. I didn’t think things through and I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. I was selfish, self-centered, and completely out of line. Now I know that! Believe me when I tell you that I’m all too aware my behavior was completely unacceptable.

But I believe that I deserve one more chance. I deserve to be allowed to show you I appreciate you and am capable of change.

After everything we’ve been through, I believe that we can work through this issue as well. There’s no way that we can allow something as small as this to separate us when we’ve fought much harder battles.

So please, let this letter remind you that I still love you. Let this be a reminder that things could go back to normal, that we don’t have to lose each other. I’ll work on myself and make sure to regain your trust. There’s no way I’ll ever make this mistake again.

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If you’re willing to listen to what I have to say, I’d love to tell you all the ways I plan to do all that. I could tell you in person how sorry I am and how I plan to show you that I still love you.

You just have to give me a chance. You just have to decide to see me one more time and then we can take it from there.

If you truly decide that you never want to talk to me again, then I have no other solution than to grant you your freedom. You’ll be free of the burden of this relationship, you’ll have the right to walk out of my life and I’ll never again contact you.

If that’s your wish, then I have no right to object.

I’ll leave and never bother you again. You have the right to break this off, just please don’t ignore me anymore. I hate waiting on your reply when anxiety is eating me up. I’m just so desperate at this point. Please reply to this letter and we see how things go.

The one thing I can promise you is that you won’t regret it, for sure.

Yours truly.

P.S. I love you very much, please don’t forget that.

A letter to tell my boyfriend that ignoring me is emotional abuse

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Dear,

I didn’t want to address this letter in a way that makes you think that your behavior is okay, but you are still very dear to me. Even though I can feel my hands shake as I’m writing this to you.

When I sent you all those texts and you didn’t reply, my head went entirely into panic mode. I wanted to go over to your house, apologize for everything, even though I had no idea what I did wrong.

There wasn’t a moment of clarity that could’ve stopped me, so that’s why I’ve been blowing up your phone and why I came to your house. I just wanted to see, but it was obvious that you didn’t want to see me. You didn’t even care if I was alright. You just wanted to show me who’s wearing the pants in our relationship.

That’s why I’ve spent the past few days crying in my bed and looking at the phone. I didn’t want to be more persistent than I already was, because I know that if I annoy you more than I already have then you’d go off on me.

What I didn’t know was that I would end up writing a letter to my boyfriend who is ignoring me as if I never existed in the first place.

It took me quite a long time to figure out what I did wrong.

You know how I am. I always overthink everything to the point where I even think about the words I say before you raise your eyebrows in that one specific way that always makes me shiver.

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It took me a long time to realize that I analyzed everything this much because I’m scared of you. I’m scared of what you may tell me and what you may think of me.

So instead of standing up for myself, I just remind myself that I need to be quiet if I don’t want to lose you or make you mad. Making you mad is such a huge fear of mine and you know that!

When you do something like this to me – when you ignore me and don’t give me any explanation for your behavior – I’m doomed to stay home with my own thoughts and cry myself to sleep each night. Everyone’s saying that I spend more time looking at my phone than usual. Everyone sees what’s going on.

That’s why I’m here to tell you, even while I’m crying my eyes out, that I finally realize that this is emotional abuse. You’re neglecting my emotions, you’re taking away all the validation and affirmation that you taught me to need and you’re making me anxious.

You know better than anyone in this world that this is torture to me. Whenever you leave me alone with my mind, I feel like I’m drowning.

I fall deep into my own thoughts to the point where I completely submerge myself in my own self-deprecating and hateful self-talk.

I begged you to never do this to me. You don’t seem to listen to a word that I say or the pleas that I continue to weep through. Even though you see how much ghosting and ignoring me is breaking me, because I overthink everything and become extremely anxious, you still choose to torment me.

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And although my heart breaks while I’m saying this, I will not deal with this abuse anymore. You know just as well as I do that I didn’t do anything wrong. You pull this stunt whenever I stand up for myself or do anything that remotely upsets you because you can’t deal with your emotions in a mature way.

How long will I have to pretend like everything’s fine and forgive you whenever you come back to me? How many more times will I have to dismiss your awful behavior towards me?

You’re passive-aggressive. You’re manipulative and abusive. Just because you never laid a hand on me doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel the real impact of your words and silence. I believe that, sometimes, they hurt even more.

So please stop doing this to me. I’m too fragile for this.

While writing this letter to my boyfriend, the one who is ignoring me, I’m desperate for a reply. You know that’s the case, even if you don’t want to admit it.

However, if you choose to ignore me further, I’ll have to assume that we’re done. I’ll never reach out to you again and I won’t wait for you to come back to me. Things are over between us and there’s nothing more to be done or said.

Even if you decide to change your mind one day, I will not stand around to see if you’ll decide to give me a moment of your time.

This is my last plea to talk to me. Help me fix this relationship. I can’t do it by myself.

If you truly love me, write back to me.

Yours truly.

A letter to thank my boyfriend for ignoring me: we’re finally done

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Hi,

I hope you’re having a nice day. I hope everything’s alright in that head of yours and that you have enough space in your busy schedule to actually read this letter. If you don’t, that’s also fine, I’ve made my decision.

I’m breaking up with you.

When we first started dating, I was always there for you. There was never a moment in my day where I didn’t think of you.

I’d always consider your feelings, without any regard for my own. This continued on throughout our entire relationship and I became o completely done with that.

Why the hell would I want to torment myself just to keep a selfish narcissist by my side? I’m done with you.

The moment I had to write this letter to you – my boyfriend who is ignoring me – I knew that I had no reason to stay. Who writes letters these days anyways? It seems like I do, as you won’t even remotely acknowledge my existence.

How many times has this happened already? How many times have you just turned off your phone to show me that you don’t want to talk to me?

Too many times. Let me tell you that I’ve waited, crying my eyes out, to just get a text message back. While all of that time I wasted waiting on you to realize how bad this is, I could’ve been happy with someone else.

I guess that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

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At one point or another, I will delete your number and block you on all my social media. Until then, I just want you to know that I will be fine. I will be the one to set things straight right now as you can’t seem to make up your mind.

For some reason, I already know how things will go from this point onward.

At first, you may think that I’m joking. You’ll reckon that I’m just going through another one of my episodes where I get mad and then forgive you for everything later on. Usually, when I’d get mad, all it took was just a hug or kiss and I’d melt.

Just think how many times I threatened to leave you. I never did that, right? I was always honest with you. Why would I change that right now? Well, I’ve had enough of you now.

Then you’ll contact me, thinking I’ll reply to you. When I don’t, you’ll still be in denial. You’ll think that I’m just playing games with you, but there’s no way in hell I will reply to you.

That’s when you’ll start to panic. You didn’t think that things would go this far, so you’ll end up apologizing to me and pretending like you understand my pain. That’s when I will cry one more time in front of you and then turn away. I’ll slam the door in your face and never open up when I hear you call out my name.

I don’t want you to go through all that trouble. Let’s just skip to the part where I just walk away from you. Let’s just pretend as if we’ve gone through all of that already.

Watch how I leave. And don’t wait for me to turn back and look at you because it won’t happen.

I’m so done with these little games you play. I’ve never had to write a letter to my previous boyfriend because he never ignored me as you have.

I’ve waited too many times for just a simple text after you ignored me for hours, sometimes even days. My friends would tell me: “You’re single if he doesn’t reply for a whole two days.”

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But I was too tolerant. I had so much patience for you.

Somehow, I understood. You never had anyone that required your attention and care. You never knew what it felt like to put someone above yourself. That’s why you’re so adamant in showing me just how little you care, thinking that it’ll work.

It won’t. It will never work again.

So I wish you all the best. I hope you find someone who’s worthy of watching you change into someone loving.

Right now, you’re not that person at all. You’re not someone I’ll try to change anymore. If you wanted to change, you would’ve done that a long time ago. You obviously don’t care enough about me to do so.

So let’s just end things here. I hope you find everything you’re looking for in your life.

I don’t expect you to reply to this letter. I’ve gotten used to getting ghosted by you. But even if you do decide to reply, I’ll burn it without even reading it.

Goodbye.

Me.

P.S. I hope you know that it’s all your fault.

Final thoughts

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I’ve been exactly where you’re at right now. I know that things seem weird and out of order. You can feel your emotions taking a toll on you and your mental health. You’re paralyzed by all the thoughts running through your mind.

But you don’t need to let them consume you. While you’re writing a letter to your boyfriend who’s ignoring you, I can only remember what it felt like for me.

But I made the right decision to wait it out and write only when I was completely in tune with my actual needs. That’s exactly why I’d love for you to do the same.

Sometimes, you can’t really wait. You want to know what’s going on and when he blocks you each time, you feel like your world is falling apart.

When you write your letter, just make sure that you’re doing it for your own closure and own peace of mind. Don’t do it to spite him.

You may request to see him and talk things through, but just know that if you’re going to forgive him for ignoring you, then you have to have solid proof it won’t happen again.

Then, if you’re the one who’s at fault for this entire drama, apologize. Find a way to lure him out and talk to you. You won’t sleep at night until you get your own explanations and reasonings out.

At the end of the day, you should never let someone treat you like you don’t exist. You deserve closure and someone who’ll communicate with you.

There’s nothing in this world that you shouldn’t be able to talk with your partner about. So when he decides that it’s better to ignore you than to talk with you, then you know the relationship isn’t as pretty as you initially thought.

Now you have the choice of sending or not sending this letter to your boyfriend who is ignoring you. Because if it was me, I’d do it. You may just want to plan out how you’re going to phrase everything.

I just hope that this article has given you a clear picture of what you want to tell him.

Make every word count!

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