Think aloud
“I haven’t heard from my ex in ages. And all of a sudden, I see his message on the screen. Why does he randomly text me after months and does it mean that he wants to get back together?”
When your relationship ends, at first, you feel crushed. But as time goes by, you realize that you must move on and find a way how to do it.
So, step by step, you keep walking forward, learning on your own that your past should stay in the past. Then the exact moment you feel like you’ve finally healed after the breakup, your ex reaches out to you.
Randomly and out of the blue, he texts you after months of not being in touch with you. Apparently, he expects you to reply to him right away as if there are no bad vibes between the two of you.
At this point, you feel utterly confused and have no idea what to do next. Should you reply to him or flat-out ignore him? Do you block him or use this opportunity to see if you can get back together?
But what pains you the most is not knowing his reason for texting you. Why did he even decide to reach out to you? Is there some specific reason he texted you after staying silent for months?
He randomly texted me after months: 8 reasons for his sudden reappearance
There must be a reason he decided to randomly text you after months of broken contact. There must be something that triggered him to send you a message. I mean, it’s been ages.
No matter what you think, he has his hidden motives and you’re about to find out about them. Just keep on reading to learn all of the possible reasons why a guy decides to reach out after months of not hearing from him.
1. He misses you
There’s a reason I’ve listed this reason first and it’s because it tends to be the most obvious explanation for his actions. When an ex texts you after months, it’s usually because he realizes that he misses having you in his life.
He’s probably had enough time to think about your relationship and everything you used to have. With time, he realized that he misses everything the two of you had.
He misses your smile, the way you made him happy and understood him without words. It’s only now that he’s become aware you were the one for him.
When a guy texts you randomly after months of not being in touch with you, it’s usually because he’s figured out that he misses your presence. And just like that, he decides to once again try to experience what the two of you previously shared.
2. He’s wants a hook-up
Unfortunately, reason number two is that he’s simply looking to hook up. I don’t want to be the one to ruin the romance, but this is the second most common cause for an ex to decide to reach out after months.
There’s a strong chance that he’s looking for someone to make him feel less lonely in bed. At this point, he doesn’t want to waste his time getting to know another girl and trying to make her fall for him.
Instead, he opts for someone who already knows him well enough and will do anything to get a minute with him. In this case, if he’s the one who broke up with you while you were still madly in love with him, then that’s why he’ll choose you.
He knows you still aren’t over him and he’ll use that to get you to hook up with him. Unfortunately, you’re just an easy fallback option.
If you suspect that he suddenly texted you because he’s wanting a hookup, then you must know that’s all you’re going to get if you decide to reply to him. Don’t get your hopes up as this thing won’t turn into a romantic relationship.
At least not this time…
3. He’s now single and bored
Maybe he left you for some other girl and now she dumped him. Or he got with someone else after you, but they’re now no longer together.
Now that he’s single again, he’s bored of not having anyone by his side. His days are all the same and he’s tired of walking through his mundane single life.
That’s why he decided to text you and spice things up a bit. He’s looking for someone who knows him well and he knows won’t be able to ignore him. And apparently, you seemed like a great fit.
He knew you could cure his boredom and that’s why he decided to text you. Maybe there’s even a chance of getting back together if he successfully convinces you that he’s now a changed man.
Those are his ideas, but you must be careful about getting involved. If he dumped you that easily the first time, no one can guarantee you that the same scenario won’t repeat one more time. Just be aware of that before you reply to your ex when he reaches out to you out of the blue.
4. Something reminded him of you
When you’re asking yourself “Why does he randomly text me after months?” the answer could be that something reminded him of you. And just like that, he started thinking about you.
Perhaps he heard your favorite song and then wanted to see how you’re doing. Or he was sorting through his stuff and found something that belonged to you.
Things like this could make him reach out to you to see how you’re doing. Have you moved on and got yourself back on your feet? Has your life been going better since the two of you broke up?
At this point, he feels like the only right way to get in touch with you is to text you. Calling may feel like a bit too much for this stage of the reconnection. And asking you straight to hang out is way too much.
So, he’ll send you a text and wait for your response. If you reply to him, then he’ll see where the road takes you from there.
5. He’s looking for an ego boost
A guy may randomly text you after months simply because he needs his ego stroked. He needs someone to remind him how amazing he is and you were probably that person in the past.
Chances are you always made him feel like he was the only real man in the world. You treated him like there was no one better than him and he now misses someone singing his praises.
He misses having you around since you always knew how to make him feel special. You always knew how to give him a well-needed ego boost, and he needs you now for the same purposes.
But it’s only selfish of him to walk into your life unexpectedly, assuming you’d be there for him. Your relationship ended a long time ago and you’re not required to make him feel good about himself no matter what he thinks.
He was the one who decided to break up with you, which means that he’s only a part of your past now. He’s free to look for his ego boost somewhere else.
You’re not obliged to reply to him. Especially if your breakup was messy and ended up hurting you worse than him.
6. You’ve become a challenge to him
A man may decide to randomly text you after months simply because he sees how well you’re doing without him. When he spots you working your way through life without his help, he realizes how far you’ve come.
At that point, you turn into a challenge. The one he wants to conquer, no matter what.
This usually tends to happen after you move on and apply the no contact rule. When you make a decision to rebuild your life from scratch, he suddenly decides that he needs to get you back.
He can’t accept that you’re capable of ignoring him and that he’s no longer a part of your life. He can’t stand the fact that you no longer need him.
So, he decides to win you over once again. Even if he was the one who ended things the previous time, he won’t hesitate to reach out to you.
He wants to prove to himself that he can have you whenever he wants, and that you can’t forget about him that easily. That’s the main reason he’s texting you right now.
7. He wants to get back together with you
When a guy texts you randomly after months of not being in touch with you, he may have finally figured out he needs you back in his life. He thought about everything in detail and realizes he wants to get back together with you.
Maybe he figured out the mistakes he made throughout the relationship and resolved to change for the better. He possibly spotted where the two of you went wrong and decided to give your relationship another shot.
As far as he’s concerned, he wants to try his luck with you one more time. And at this point, he simply needs you to agree with him and give him another chance.
If you realize this is why he reached out to you, then you should first figure out what it is you want. If you don’t want to go back into the past then don’t even bother giving him hope. Simply tell him nothing’s going to happen between the two of you so he knows the truth.
But if you’re willing to give your relationship another go, then you better take things slowly before you make the same mistakes all over again.
8. He feels guilty for hurting you
A guy might randomly text you after months because he feels guilty for hurting you. He finally realizes what he did to you and how badly he broke your heart.
Maybe he was the one to break up with you while you were still desperately in love with him. Or maybe he even cheated on you and lost your trust forever.
He finally recognizes his mistakes and knows how much damage he’s done. That’s why he feels guilty for all of the things he did to you.
Now he’s reaching out to you after months of not being in touch with you in order to apologize for his actions. He’s acknowledging his mistakes and even though he can’t go back in time, at least he’s letting you know he’s sorry for the way he treated you.
6 things to do when he randomly texts you after months
Now that you know the answer to the question “Why does he randomly text me after months?” you probably want to find out what you should do about it. Should you ignore him completely or reply to his message? Do you welcome him back or is it too late for that?
Unfortunately, no one can tell you what your next step should be as you’re the only one who knows how you want things to end. However, there are some tips you should follow before you make the final decision.
Before you decide to welcome him back into your life or to end things with him forever, here’s what you should have in mind.
1. Figure out where you stand
The first and most important tip is that you should know where you stand and what you want from him. That should be your guideline for making a final decision.
Try to figure out if he still means a lot to you or if you’ve moved on after him. Do you still like him and can you imagine yourself getting back with him? Or does it feel like he’s just a part of your past now and nothing more?
Also, if you were to reply to his message and if things were to evolve from there, you need to know what your expectations are. Are you looking for a friendship or a relationship?
Once you know the answers to these questions, you’ll then be able to figure out what you should do next. The most important thing is to not neglect your feelings, no matter what he says.
If you feel like you don’t need him in your life anymore, then listen to your heart. Simply don’t reply to him and rather let him stay in your past.
Remember, you don’t owe him anything, no matter what he says to you. And you don’t have to explain yourself either – your happiness should always come first.
2. Confirm why he’s randomly texting you after months
If you decide to reply to him after he randomly texted you after months, then you also deserve to know the reason for such action. If you can’t figure it out on your own, then you have every right to ask him about it directly.
Let him explain himself since he’s the one who’s decided to crawl back into your life like there was no bad blood between you. So, he at least can tell you his reasons for such an unexpected comeback.
3. Depending on the situation, figure out if you should reply
Now that you know where you stand and his reasons for texting you, take some time to figure out if you should keep the communication going. Listen to your heart and allow it to guide you to your next step.
If you have no intention of getting back with him, then there’s no reason for you to reply to his texts. You don’t want anything from him and you don’t need to waste your time.
Simply let him know you’re not willing to visit your past and getting back in touch with him feels exactly like that.
But if you have this need to get some answers from him and finally get closure or even get back with him, then feel free to keep the communication going. Use mature ways to find out all of the answers you’re looking for and see where that takes you.
4. Get to know him before getting your hopes up
If he randomly texts you after months and you’re considering getting back with him, first allow yourself to get to know him better.
Now, this may sound weird as you already think that you know him well enough. You’ve already been in a relationship, which automatically means you know more about him than most others.
But when you look at things from this perspective, your opinion may change. Months have passed by and the same way you’ve changed as a person, he’s also undergone some changes.
He’s no longer the same guy you once fell in love with and that’s okay. But for those reasons, you need to give yourself some time to get to know him better.
If you realize that he has completely changed and no longer resembles the idea of a man you want by your side, then you’ll have a chance to stop yourself from falling for him. You’d only be wasting your time trying to find your way back into his life when he’s no longer what you want.
So, rather take things slowly and get to know him better. See if he’s changed for the better and if he’s still the one you’re looking for. That way, if it turns out otherwise, at least you’ll have enough time to react and stop yourself from falling for him before it’s too late.
5. Don’t be the first to make a move
He’s the reason you now communicate on a daily basis. So, you better make sure you’re not the one who makes any of the first moves.
He’s the one who reached out to you, so you should let him show you his interest through his actions. If he seriously wants to get back together with you, then he must show you his willingness to fix things.
That’s why you shouldn’t be the first one to invite him out. Let him take that responsibility upon himself.
Also, if he stops texting you all of a sudden, don’t keep bombarding him with messages until he replies. He needs to show you his determination to prove himself someone who deserves you.
Don’t be the one who initiates everything and without whose effort this whole thing would fall apart. If his intentions are pure, then let him prove that to you.
6. End the conversation whenever you feel like it
When a guy randomly texts you after months of radio silence and not reaching out to you, don’t feel like you’re obliged to keep the communication going. If you, at any point, realize he’s not what you’re looking for, then simply end the conversation before you get his hopes up.
You can decide to give him a chance to prove to you that he’s changed and regrets the mistakes he’s made. But if you figure out that he’s also changed as a person and his goals and beliefs don’t match yours anymore, then you have every right to stop replying to his messages.
If you realize that he could no longer make you happy, then you have nothing to stick around for. It’s obvious he doesn’t fit your idea of the right man anymore – and that’s perfectly fine.
Just because he used to be the one you chose, it doesn’t mean you’re duty-bound to always keep choosing him. Your relationship already ended once. You sure don’t owe him any second chances.
If your heart tells you he’s not your cup of tea anymore, then you better listen to it.
